WHY ARE GUYS SO FREAKING WEIRD?!?!?!?

[Caleigh]

Ok, I'm at work on Friday 4pm, setting up the restaurant, lighting candles for the tables, getting change for the bartender. The usual prep for a busy Friday night. Our restaurant is 90%+ regulars so I know practically everyone that walks in by sight at least. At the bar at the other end from where I am doing most of my prep is some guy, dark brown hair, a little overweight but not fat. I notice him looking at me but I just figure he is a bit surprised to see a Tgirl working at such a regular restaurant. I'm quite passable but I haven't done much work on my voice so I out myself sometimes when I speak. I turn back to my work. At one point I was up by the front of the restaurant and I notice him staring at me. I pretend not to notice. Then as I walk by I hear him mumble something under his breath but totally can't make it out and anyway, I'm beginning to get a bit creeped by the way he is staring. Then I need to go downstairs to the office. This means I have to go outside. On my way back up from the basement he is there standing outside. As I walk by he says very quietly so that I could barely make it out "You are gorgeous". I continue walking as if I didn't hear him because I was already creeped out by him and why couldn't he just be openly friendly and social. Heck, the cop that hit my up a while ago while investigating a theft at our place was more open and straightforward.

Can you guys please just get some social skills and approach us like human beings? You know, become a bit of a regular, join in a conversation at the bar etc. If you are going to compliment me, say it loud enough that I can tell that you aren't ashamed of being caught saying it.

To that guy in particular in case he found me via this website, read this, learn from this post. I'm very friendly, I couldn't do my job well if I wasn't but PLEASE stop being ashamed of your interest in Tgirls and just be a nice open friendly human being in your interactions.

[mikejones]

Well put. I think that we (men) transition as well, from seeing T-girls as porn and sex objects to seeing them as real people who want to live a normal life. Posts like this are very helpful. Thank you.

[peggygee]

My dear you have encountered the
North American variety of homo erectus.


In the instance that you have outlined
he was engaging in his mating ritual,
employing the D/L strategy.

As the homo erectus has only recently
learned to walk erect and due to the fact
that their brains are not as developed
as that of the homo sapien as evidenced
by tthese comparisions of their skulls, they
are apt to be devoid of many higher
level social skills.




Interestingly though the brain of the male
homo sapien is the same size as the female
of the species, they are also prone to the
same level of dysfuntion as homo edrectus,
Cro Magnom, and Neanderthal man, which
would indicate a possible recessive gene
theory.

[BeardedOne]

It's not even just a T-girl thing, really. Some of us are just...well...shy.

Gorgeous gurls/girls just knot us up sometimes. Granted, this guy shouldn't have been staring at you in that creepy manor, but I caught myself doing just that at Hooters the other night. A lovely, small, dark-skinned GG with the most sparkly eyes you can imagine was serving us and I couldn't take my eyes off her face (Yah, that's right, her =FACE=). One of the guys I was with had to poke me to let me know she was patiently waiting for me to order and even a couple at the next table brought it to her notice that I was really taken by her.

Don't get me wrong, you need to be aware of your surroundings and who is watching you, but not all of us are scary stalkers.

[Alison Faraday]

Hi Caleigh,

Good post, that read well.

I'm tempted to say that the correct response to this guy would be, "Thank you," with a friendly but distant but busy smile. Actually.. I'm half wondering if he didn't read you at all. He was obviously nervous for one. But the staring is a bit weird I'll admit that. I'd have just distantly smiled and carried on my way. If someone continually stared at me in the way you describe I'd go up to them and ask if they wish to be served. In other words, "May I help you? Would you like something?"

Guys will do this. In the early days I didn't know how to play it, but now I just give them an innocent smile. It can work to your advantage to be honest. That's not to say that I'm confident all of the time.

I suspect that he didn't think he read you at all. While we may have "is that a man/woman?" running through our heads. For most people they don't consider it.

It's something stuck in our heads I'll admit that. And it's taken me years to get over it. But I know just how you're feeling.

(((((hugs)))))

I'm sure he's totally harmless and you'll never see him again. If you do see him again, talk to him. Be up front and friendly forward. He might be a millionaire.

Aly xx

[apocarm]

Oh Damn that was You!!!!!!!!

Sorry I have a Staring Problem and a really quiet voice.

[fueljunky0]

I know exactly what how that guy feels being a very nervous guy myself. I have never stared for a long time or creepy stuff like that.

[peggygee]

Hi Caleigh,

Good post, that read well.

I'm tempted to say that the correct response to this guy would be, "Thank you," with a friendly but distant but busy smile. Actually.. I'm half wondering if he didn't read you at all. He was obviously nervous for one. But the staring is a bit weird I'll admit that. I'd have just distantly smiled and carried on my way. If someone continually stared at me in the way you describe I'd go up to them and ask if they wish to be served. In other words, "May I help you? Would you like something?"

Guys will do this. In the early days I didn't know how to play it, but now I just give them an innocent smile. It can work to your advantage to be honest. That's not to say that I'm confident all of the time.

I suspect that he didn't think he read you at all. While we may have "is that a man/woman?" running through our heads. For most people they don't consider it.

It's something stuck in our heads I'll admit that. And it's taken me years to get over it. But I know just how you're feeling.

(((((hugs)))))

I'm sure he's totally harmless and you'll never see him again. If you do see him again, talk to him. Be up front and friendly forward. He might be a millionaire.

Aly xx

Seriously, as Alison and B1 have said, guys will do goofy things
when they are figuring out how to approach you. They may stare,
or be otherwise ackward.

As transwomen we may take that to mean that we have been read.
In actuality it is most likely the opposite, the guy is looking at you
as an attractive women that he is interested in.

With him approaching you outside, he was most likely trying to cut
down on the embarrasment factor if you were to reject him.

As Alison stated if a man is staring at me for a prolonged period of
time, I will give him a non-commital type smile, and then I am babk
into my world. If he continues to stare, I will either just ignore him, or
give him kind of a snide, dismissive look, and then I really tune him out.

Aly is spot on in that most people aren't usually thinking transwoman.

As to the millionaire part, well.......

[Caleigh]

Alison: If he had said "Hi" to me in a normal voice like he was talking to another person I would have said "Hi" right back and smiled. It was the sotto voce thing that was the icing on the creep cake. I'm the hostess/manager of a restaurant. I know how to be social. But it's this creepy DL/insecure vibe that bugged me out.

[Quinn]

Ok, I'm at work on Friday 4pm, setting up the restaurant, lighting candles for the tables, getting change for the bartender. The usual prep for a busy Friday night. Our restaurant is 90%+ regulars so I know practically everyone that walks in by sight at least. At the bar at the other end from where I am doing most of my prep is some guy, dark brown hair, a little overweight but not fat. I notice him looking at me but I just figure he is a bit surprised to see a Tgirl working at such a regular restaurant. I'm quite passable but I haven't done much work on my voice so I out myself sometimes when I speak. I turn back to my work. At one point I was up by the front of the restaurant and I notice him staring at me. I pretend not to notice. Then as I walk by I hear him mumble something under his breath but totally can't make it out and anyway, I'm beginning to get a bit creeped by the way he is staring. Then I need to go downstairs to the office. This means I have to go outside. On my way back up from the basement he is there standing outside. As I walk by he says very quietly so that I could barely make it out "You are gorgeous". I continue walking as if I didn't hear him because I was already creeped out by him and why couldn't he just be openly friendly and social. Heck, the cop that hit my up a while ago while investigating a theft at our place was more open and straightforward.

Can you guys please just get some social skills and approach us like human beings? You know, become a bit of a regular, join in a conversation at the bar etc. If you are going to compliment me, say it loud enough that I can tell that you aren't ashamed of being caught saying it.

To that guy in particular in case he found me via this website, read this, learn from this post. I'm very friendly, I couldn't do my job well if I wasn't but PLEASE stop being ashamed of your interest in Tgirls and just be a nice open friendly human being in your interactions.

LMAO @ this story. Sorry, Caleigh, but the weirdo you described reminds me of a friend I have at the Jersey Shore. When we go out, if he sees a woman he likes, he just stares at her contstantly. Though he's harmless as a pussycat, the stare definitely comes across as creepy. Eventually, the woman will notice his unremitting stare and start to look over in his direction, wondering if he is still staring and just what his deal is exactly. Since my friend will continue to stare, the woman will continue to look over, which eventually prompts this response from my friend: "Hey, Quinn, that girl over there is totally checking me out."

My thought: "No she isn't, you fucking weirdo. How many times have we talked to you about this? She's probably scared to death because you are staring at her like Private Pile in Full Metal Jacket just before he shoots himself."

My actual verbal response: "You're right; she is. Go talk to her before someone else does."

It always goes bad because he's very intimidating and about as smooth as gravel when it comes to actually talking to a woman. Fortunately, it's also always hysterical.

-Quinn