attempted suicide?

[bulldog]

I know this topic has been brought up before, and let me first tell you that it is real hard for me to even bring it up now. First off how many of you have thought about suicide? Second How many of you have actually tried it?

I have thought about it and have actually been as far as having the gun in my hand chambered and pressed against my skull

Ben

[Coroner]

Yes, I thought about it when I was 16 like everybody else.... I don´t want to spread philosophy but think about it, it wouldn´t be fair to the people that might love you, family or friends..... but if you got no friends and family.... well, all decisions fall inside your mind...... commiting suicide is a brave act but it´s nothing that will make ppl remember you..... you´ll be forgotten soon like every corpse

..... or do you want to share your troubles? I don´t know what to tell you but ignoring this would be wrong. There must be more ppl here who thought about it or still do...?.....

[hondarobot]

I've honestly never considered anything like suicide to be a good idea. If there is one definate motivation in life, it's to avoid being dead.

Look at things this way: Life is like being in a room with a light bulb. It might not be the best room, you might not be having the time of your life, but things do change over time and at least you have that damn light bulb. There isn't a switch, you can't say "maybe I'd like being in the dark better", and try it out.

You could break the light bulb, but that really wouldn't make much sense. You can't unbreak it.

I realize this is an oversimplification, but there's been a couple suicide postings lately.

If you want something positive to look into, read up on Ray Kurzweil. He's brilliant and thinks within 30 years, people can make lightbulbs last forever (going back to my analogy about the little room and whatnot). It's at least interesting reading.

[Coroner]

Yes, Ray Kurzweil is a genius. I used to read his new work "The Singularity is near".

[iodine8]

If you want to know whats it's like after life, and don't care if theres a one way ticket. Seriously you have nothing to lose. Just don't do it to be remembered on your half, cause you will not know you are being remembered since you are dead(not too sure since I have never been dead to know anything about it). I personaly am not affraid of death...just afraid of how much it might hurt before I do die. If it's quick, then I would be gone before I even knew it......many thoughts on what it is about death and events afterwards.....anything can happen. I recommend not to kill yourself, find something that sparks your life and then be about it.(hopefully it's something positive)
I believe in God and Science.

[werwt22]

I have 1-2 times (thought about it not attempted) and liquor and beer dont help at all when you go through that phase. Been to the point where I've felt like I had nothing left so why go on, but my will to live has pulled me through. I sit back and think about how stupid that decision would have been if I had made it.

[Alison Faraday]

Every other day. Does that count? Mainly to do with other people being better than me, more successful, having it easier, blah blah blah.

My solution is to just gym until I'm so tired I can't do anything else. For the last month I've been in the gym at least 90-minutes a day. The moment I start to get down it's straight off to the gym. It's the only way I can deal with it. And I'm not going to be beaten by what is just a chemical reaction in the brain.

There's no drink or drugs in my life so it's not that. Just total lack of self worth. There's no point talking to people about it either as they switch off immiediately, no doubt to do some very important things like lounge in front of the tv or stuff their faces with takeaway vindaloos. People's lives are scattered with very important things you know.

I genuinely would do it yet fight it in the hope that it will all change. The biggest regret is that I left all of my ts-demons too late in life.

While the mails come which say how georgeous you are and so wonderful, they don't really change things. At the end of the day I'm not as successful as I aimed to be. And all I have is my body, health, and the local gym.

Really, I could sit here and go on for half an hour, but then you'd be really bored!

And to add while thinking about this.

My whole approach to life is simply different to most people's. I genuinely do not consider myself better than someone else. You could lose your house, car, be as dirty as a tramp. And I'd treat you with respect. Not because of who you were. But because you are my fellow human being. You deserve no less.

There's ALOT of mess in the world in how people think and their ideals. You have one person who thinks they're better than everyone else. Is that really a way to carry on? Is that kind and warm? These are all questions that I ask myself.

In the pecking order of the transgendered scene there are transsexuals that won't even give me the time of day. I'm simply sneered at. And you see them sneering at everyone around them apart from those that meet their incredibly high standards. That insults me, particularly where I get told to f-off one minute, and then the next they're asking me to do shoots. Erm, hang on, did I miss something. You were treating me like shit last week, and now you want something.

At the end of all of this, I still remember where I came from. And through suicide it has taught me two things (not the ones at the bottom here). Have respect for yourself, and have respect for others. I will always have time for you no matter who you are. That's what makes ME special and proud to be who I am. I love people, and when they don't love me back it hurts. Alot. I feel pity for the world around me. A world that is capable of so so much. If just people were more honest and open with themselves. Most people really aren't that happy. And it would all be so simple to correct, with just a change of thought.

So my sadness not only comes from within, but also in dissapointment of the world around me too. We're all capable of so much. Yet far too often we will be horrible rather than kind. Each is just as easy as the other. Do people really take enjoyment out of being so cold?

[ballzNnutz]

commiting suicide isnt a brave act in the least.

[msnaughtygirl4uu]

i believe everyone goes threw once in there lives... just try to stay strong and you will get threw it

[whatsupwithat]

Every other day. Does that count? Mainly to do with other people being better than me, more successful, having it easier, blah blah blah.

My solution is to just gym until I'm so tired I can't do anything else. For the last month I've been in the gym at least 90-minutes a day. The moment I start to get down it's straight off to the gym. It's the only way I can deal with it. And I'm not going to be beaten by what is just a chemical reaction in the brain.

There's no drink or drugs in my life so it's not that. Just total lack of self worth. There's no point talking to people about it either as they switch off immiediately, no doubt to do some very important things like lounge in front of the tv or stuff their faces with takeaway vindaloos. People's lives are scattered with very important things you know.

I genuinely would do it yet fight it in the hope that it will all change. The biggest regret is that I left all of my ts-demons too late in life.

While the mails come which say how georgeous you are and so wonderful, they don't really change things. At the end of the day I'm not as successful as I aimed to be. And all I have is my body, health, and the local gym.

Really, I could sit here and go on for half an hour, but then you'd be really bored!

And to add while thinking about this.

My whole approach to life is simply different to most people's. I genuinely do not consider myself better than someone else. You could lose your house, car, be as dirty as a tramp. And I'd treat you with respect. Not because of who you were. But because you are my fellow human being. You deserve no less.

There's ALOT of mess in the world in how people think and their ideals. You have one person who thinks they're better than everyone else. Is that really a way to carry on? Is that kind and warm? These are all questions that I ask myself.

In the pecking order of the transgendered scene there are transsexuals that won't even give me the time of day. I'm simply sneered at. And you see them sneering at everyone around them apart from those that meet their incredibly high standards. That insults me, particularly where I get told to f-off one minute, and then the next they're asking me to do shoots. Erm, hang on, did I miss something. You were treating me like shit last week, and now you want something.

At the end of all of this, I still remember where I came from. And through suicide it has taught me two things (not the ones at the bottom here). Have respect for yourself, and have respect for others. I will always have time for you no matter who you are. That's what makes ME special and proud to be who I am. I love people, and when they don't love me back it hurts. Alot. I feel pity for the world around me. A world that is capable of so so much. If just people were more honest and open with themselves. Most people really aren't that happy. And it would all be so simple to correct, with just a change of thought.

So my sadness not only comes from within, but also in dissapointment of the world around me too. We're all capable of so much. Yet far too often we will be horrible rather than kind. Each is just as easy as the other. Do people really take enjoyment out of being so cold?

i was deeply moved by your honesty. deeply. just being like that, opening up like that, helped me tremendously today. not because i was thinking of suicide, but because i need to know that there were genuine and caring people in the world like you. just wanted you to know that.

thanks. and much peace.