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  1. #1
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    Default A quote on Olaf the Hairy

    I reading a book on the series and was just reminded of this rather relevant quote by Captain Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson) in Blackadder Goes Forth:


    A war hasn't been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, High Chief of all the Vikings, accidently ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside.





    Navin R. Johnson: You mean I'm going to stay this color??
    Mother: I'd love you if you were the color of a baboon's ass.

  2. #2
    Professional Poster guyone's Avatar
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    One of the funniest shows. American networks should take a page out of the BBC book. Well they do but constantly fuck it all up.


    John Ellis Bush in 2012!

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    Quote Originally Posted by guyone
    One of the funniest shows. American networks should take a page out of the BBC book. Well they do but constantly fuck it all up.
    Here here young man! I'll put South Park up against the best of the BBC!



  4. #4
    Professional Poster guyone's Avatar
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    South Park is excellent. All I'm saying is that American networks generally pick shows by dart board whereas the Brits pretty much have it down to a science. Not to say there are no funny American shows but (and here's something LG will like) examining the percentages of good to bad the Brits come out on top.

    The BBC's 'The Office' is brilliant. NBC's 'The Office' is marginal at best yet is a top rated show.


    John Ellis Bush in 2012!

  5. #5
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    Here are 5 of my favourite American sitcoms, in random order:

    Taxi
    Seinfeld
    Frasier
    South Park
    The Simpsons

    Other favourites of mine would include Spin City (I preferred it with Michael J Fox), Friends, Scrubs, Family Guy, The Cosby Show, Roseanne (the earlier years) and The King of Queens plus older stuff like The Honeymooners. I actually also have a soft spot for Happy Days (before Fonzie jumped the shark). And there are a few US sitcoms I haven't seen, I must admit.

    But compare these to the list of British sitcoms and comedy shows below:

    Blackadder
    Fawlty Towers
    Yes, Minister
    Porridge
    One Foot in the Grave (remade in the US as Cosby)
    Monty Python's Flying Circus
    The Office (the UK original)
    Little Britain

    I think most Britcoms beat almost all American shows into a cocked hat. Here are some more British comedies to check out:

    Keeping up Apperances
    Chef!
    Father Ted
    Only Fools and Horses
    The Royle Family
    Men Behaving Badly
    The Thin Blue Line
    Mr Bean
    The League of Gentlemen
    The Brittas Empire
    Last of the Summer Wine
    The Likely Lads
    Goodness Gracious Me!

    as well as the following (not sitcoms per se, but funny shows):

    Bremner, Bird and Fortune
    Da Ali G Show (the original C4 show)
    Bo Selecta!
    Whose Line is it Anyway? (the original UK show)
    Have I Got News For you!
    Not the Nine o' Clock News (later also remade in the US)

    I'm not British but I lived and worked in the UK for many years and made many English, Welsh and Irish friends. I just find British comedies are wittier- the dialogue crackles and the acting is often superior. Fawlty Towers and Blackadder are the two best comedy series ever made, in my opinion. Most British comedies also lack a laughtrack, which is good. I don't need to be told when to laugh.

    Here are some great lines from Blackadder:

    Percy: Oh, yes, I touched her once.
    Blackadder: You touched her what?
    Percy: Once, in the corridor.
    Blackadder: I've never heard it called that before.

    [Blackadder offers a chair to his guests]
    Aunt Whiteadder: Chair? You have chairs in your house?
    Blackadder: Oh, yes!
    Aunt Whiteadder: [Slaps Blackadder twice] Wicked child, chairs are an invention of Satan! In our house, Nathaniel sits on a spike!
    Blackadder: And yourself?
    Aunt Whiteadder: I sit on Nathaniel. Two spikes would be an extravagance!

    Blackadder: Right now, all you have to is fill in this MP application form. Name?
    Baldrick: Baldrick.
    Blackadder: First name?
    Baldrick: Uh, I'm not sure.
    Blackadder: You must have some idea.
    Baldrick: Well, it might be "Sodoff".
    Blackadder: What?
    Baldrick: Well, when I used to play in the gutter, I used to say to the other snipes, "Hello, my name's Baldrick." And they'd say, "Yes, we know, sod off Baldrick."
    Blackadder:Right. Mr S. Baldrick. Now, any distinguishing features? (He thinks it through) None.
    Baldrick:Well, I've got this big growth in the middle of my face here...
    Blackadder:That's your nose, Baldrick. "Any history of insanity in the family?" (Pauses to think) Tell you what, I'll cross out the "in". "Any history of sanity in the family?" … "none whatsoever."
    Blackadder: Criminal record?
    Baldrick: Absolutely not!
    Blackadder: Oh come on Baldrick, you're going to be an MP. Look, I'll just put down fraud and sexual deviancy.

    And from Fawlty Towers:


    Mr. O'Reilly: The trouble with you, Mr. Fawlty, is that you worry too much. You keep it up like this and you'll have a stroke before you're 50. Stone-dead you'll be.
    Basil: Suits me.
    Mr. O'Reilly: That's a dreadful thing to say.
    Basil: Not at all - get a bit of peace.
    Mr. O'Reilly: Don't be so morbid. The good Lord made the world so that we could all enjoy ourselves.
    Basil: Look - my wife enjoys herself, I worry.
    Mr. O'Reilly: Well, let me tell you: If the good Lord had meant us to worry, he would'a given us things to worry about.
    Basil: He has: My wife! She will be back here in four hours and she can kill a man at ten paces with one blow of her tongue. How am I supposed not to worry?
    Mr. O'Reilly: Just remember Mr. Fawlty, there's always someone worse off than yourself
    Basil: Is there? Well I'd like to meet him. I could do with a laugh.
    Mr. O'Reilly: You just have to worry for the both of us. I tell you, if the good Lord --
    Basil: -- is mentioned once more, I shall move you closer to Him!

    Basil: Splendid, we will have the fire drill which will commence in exactly 30 seconds from now. Thank you.
    [Everyone stands still, waiting]
    Basil: What are you doing? Are you just going to stand there?
    Mr. Sharp: Well, what do you suggest?
    Basil: Well, couldn't a few of you go into the bar or dining room... I mean, use your imagination?
    Large Woman: Why?
    Basil: This is supposed to be a fire drill.
    Mr. Sharp: There's only a few seconds.
    Basil: Right. Well, obviously if there was a fire you would all be standing down here like this, right here in the lobby. Wouldn't you? I don't know why we bother. We should let you all burn.

    Mrs Richards (a grumpy guest who is hard of hearing): I asked for a room with a view!
    Basil: [muttering to Manuel] Deaf, mad, and blind...
    [He goes to the window and peers through it.]
    Basil: Ah, this is the view as far as I can remember, madam… yes, yes, this is it.
    Mrs Richards: When I pay for a view, I expect something more interesting than that.
    Basil: That is Torquay, madam.
    Mrs Richards: Well, it's not good enough.
    Basil: Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically—
    Mrs Richards: Don't be silly! I expect to be able to see the sea.
    Basil: You can see the sea. It's over there between the land and the sky.
    Mrs Richards: I'd need a telescope to see that.
    Basil: Well, may I suggest that you consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea?! [muttering to himself] Or preferably in it.

    Basil: And Mrs Abbott, how do you do?
    Mr Abbott: Doctor Abbott, actually.
    Basil: I'm sorry?
    Mr Abbott: Doctor Abbott.
    Mrs Abbott: Two doctors!
    Basil: You are two doctors?
    Mrs Abbott: Yes.
    Basil: Well, how did you become two doctors? That's most unusual. I mean, did you take the exams twice, or...?
    Mr Abbott: No, my wife is a doctor.
    Mrs Abbott: I'm a doctor!
    Basil: You're a doctor, too! So you're three doctors!

    Mr Hamilton: Could you make me a Waldorf Salad?
    Basil: Oh... ah... what?
    Mr Hamilton: Waldorf salad?
    Basil: Umm...I think we're just out of Waldorfs.


    Navin R. Johnson: You mean I'm going to stay this color??
    Mother: I'd love you if you were the color of a baboon's ass.

  6. #6
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    South Park



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