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  1. #1
    Professional Poster guyone's Avatar
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    Default The US Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet today.

    The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver, BC.

    The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton "for his foresight in military budget cuts" and his conduct while president. The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which although they cannot be launched are trapped on the 100 foot flight deck but form a very menacing presence. As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board. The 20 person crew is completely diversified and includes members of any sexual orientation. This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

    An on board Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may sound hollow anddisingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere. The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense - but instead in times of conflict the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada. The ship may be positioned near the Democratic National Party Headquarters for photo-ops and can be used extensively for social experimentation, and whatever other worthless jobs, the ex-commander-in-chief and his wife can think of.

    It is largely rumored that the ship will also be the set for the upcoming season of MTV's "The Real World".

    The ship was renamed and commissioned USS William J Clinton when someone realized the USS Blowfish was already taken.
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  2. #2
    5 Star Poster
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    Default

    "WE SURRENDER"
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  3. #3
    Senior Member Veteran Poster
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    if you both are such patriots and supporters of the "war on terror" why aren't you both out there fighting? oh, because you are armchair warriors, happy to criticize peace-making and eager to encourage wanton war-making but without the moral/ethical backbone to actually do anything. if you are going to leave the fighting to others.... STFU


    :end of transmission:

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caleigh
    if you both are such patriots and supporters of the "war on terror" why aren't you both out there fighting? oh, because you are armchair warriors, happy to criticize peace-making and eager to encourage wanton war-making but without the moral/ethical backbone to actually do anything. if you are going to leave the fighting to others.... STFU
    Correct, they are chickenhawks.

    As are the crooks, liars, and war profiteers that they grovel for 24/7.
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    "I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Poe

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefmike
    Quote Originally Posted by Caleigh
    if you both are such patriots and supporters of the "war on terror" why aren't you both out there fighting? oh, because you are armchair warriors, happy to criticize peace-making and eager to encourage wanton war-making but without the moral/ethical backbone to actually do anything. if you are going to leave the fighting to others.... STFU
    Correct, they are chickenhawks.

    As are the crooks, liars, and war profiteers that they grovel for 24/7.
    Precious !

    Refresh my memory, what branch of the military did Bill and or Hillary Clinton serve in before entering politics ?



  6. #6
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    Default Re: The US Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet toda

    Quote Originally Posted by guyone
    This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

    An on board Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive.

    LMAO! Why not just call it the USS Liberal Democrat?




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