Ladies and Gentlemen need advice for first time trans femme date

[zaphod]

I am a married closeted bisexual male.

I live in a small town of 3,300 in Wisconsin. Through Fetlife a local trans femme messaged me wish to meet up for a suck and fuck session. "Her words". To be honest I am leaking precum thinking about this. She wanted to meet today at a local park and do the bathroom or woods thing. I was busy with family projects so a meet up today was difficult. She lives just 1/4 of a mile away. Due to her and my family obligations we agreed to remain discrete.

It appears I can host the next couple of days. Carpe Diem tomorrow? Maybe if schedules mesh.

I really like her profile. She mine. I have had a few bisexual rendezvous episodes but never with beautiful trans femme.

We are almost double the age difference. I am 64 and she 34. I alcohol and 420 friendly. She mentioned Adderall and Vyvanse.

Lacking experience how do I behave? I assume the she her pronouns correct. My first inclination is to offer the respect I would project to any other person. More pointed as I would extend to a woman.

She already, within our digital conversations, has referred to me as sir. I assume that puts me in an expected leadership role. Since sex is 65% physical and the other 75% mental. I would like to refrain from inadvertent insults. Not have walked in the shoes of someone who has 100% transitioned I am beyond "on guard" of my manners.

Sorry for the long post but in small town America I want to be attentive to her sexually and socially attractive to her.

[SanDiegoPervySage]

Just behave the same way you did with your other hook ups. I'm assuming you were respectful with the other encounters and you knew the position they like to play during sex?. As far as pronouns, you could lurk their profile and see if anyone mentions one and see what they respond to and how they respond to it. If push comes to shove, you can ask. As far as the drugs, be careful. I personally don't meet with people who "party", but that's just me. Hopefully she isn't too geeked up and erratic when you meet up. Getting hopped up on drugs and having sex is very common in this community. I'll won't go on about your marriage much since that's not my business, but be careful for your marriage, but also your physical safety, health, etc. Not sure how secluded you both will be but you're twice this person's age. If things seem sketchy, be sure you know you can get out of there if you need to with little trouble.

[Murmdrum]

No advice but just curious does your wife approve of this? or is this a behind her back thing? not judging just curious

[Username13]

You're worried about manners and how to behave while cheating on your wife?

[filghy2]

I'm curious as to how a beautiful trans femme happens to be living in a small town in Wisconsin. Do you actually know who it is? I ask because your post mentions only things she's told you online. Sorry, but it sounds fishy to me. If you don't know of a trans in your town the odds are that it's someone trying to set you up.

[MrFanti]

You're worried about manners and how to behave while cheating on your wife?

The OP also stated that he's had a few bisexual encounters as well.
But the OP has not stated (one way or the other) that the marriage just might be an open one.

But me personally, I'm not going to judge because depending on where one stands, all of us here have been judged for having an attraction to transgender women....

[zaphod]

You're worried about manners and how to behave while cheating on your wife?

I shared your concern. Fetlife is not an ideal format to meet people. I used SanDiegoPrevy advice. Public meeting place made it real. She was desperate to breathe. Married with a 11 year old special needs child and had an clash over finances with her partner. She was looking for a safe oasis and sense of self worth. To be honest we went through the motions of sex without cumming. It was certainly more about discourse and finding our place in the world. WITHOUT DRUGS. For me that was better than sex. That may cum later. EMPATHY!

[zaphod]

I shared your concern. Fetlife is not an ideal format to meet people. I used SanDiegoPrevy advice. Public meeting place made it real. She was desperate to breathe. Married with a 11 year old special needs child and had an clash over finances with her partner. She was looking for a safe oasis and sense of self worth. To be honest we went through the motions of sex without cumming. It was certainly more about discourse and finding our place in the world. WITHOUT DRUGS. For me that was better than sex. That may cum later. EMPATHY!

Sorry. This was reply to flighy2 question about small town trans femme. The username13 post I take as an insult. A egregious typo on my part.

[zaphod]

This is LBGTQ month. If you believe in this forum walk the walk! Judgmental behavior is a daily constant battle the trans community AND their partners encounter. I submit the latent passive aggressive is most damaging. (Let me draw you in, then a gut shot)

BTW my marriage is solid. We have drifted apart sexually. We maintain a "don't ask don't tell policy". Those that take affront to my wife and I personal decision. Cie la vie or Cie la garre. You choose.

Thank you for the sanity MrFanti.

EMPATHY.

[Lovly-red]

I'm curious as to how a beautiful trans femme happens to be living in a small town in Wisconsin. Do you actually know who it is? I ask because your post mentions only things she's told you online. Sorry, but it sounds fishy to me. If you don't know of a trans in your town the odds are that it's someone trying to set you up.

As a trans woman who cis passes, works in public, and lives in a small town in WI. Most of use don't walk around saying we are trans, or even really meet other trans woman, but you are correct its probably a scam. I get people that try to scam me all the time on real dating sites. Im sure fetlife is worst.