Thoughts on dating someone in the adult business?

[Lorca81]

So, the reality is a disproportionate number of trans women do sex work of some kind (i.e., dancing, modeling, camming, hardcore content, escorting, etc.). What are your feelings about dating someone who's in the business? Would you or wouldn't you, and why or why not?

I would, have, and currently do. This includes a GF who modeled for Grooby, did a a couple hardcore scenes, and escorted fulltime; a GF who danced at Divas SF for years; my ex-wife, who had a big internet presence circa 2000-2005, but never did hardcore; and, my current GF/FWB, who used to be a fulltime escort, but now only sees client a few times per month.

For my part, I am not a jealous person, so their work never bothered/bothers me from that standpoint, because it was/is just a job. (Though, obviously, escorting is dangerous, so I did/do worry their safety.)

[mildcigar_2001]

Not to be mean, but I think I'd be worried about what a partner in the sex business might bring home (HPV, HIV, Genital Warts, Syphilis, etc.).

It doesn't make them not a nice person, but it is an added risk.

I realize that people aren't dying like flies from HIV anymore, but other venereal diseases aren't a walk in the park either.

[Fitzcarraldo]

If you're OK with your significant other fucking people constantly for pay, go for it. I suppose there are layers of fidelity and intimacy, but have fun trying to figure out what really matters.

[Stavros]

So, the reality is a disproportionate number of trans women do sex work of some kind (i.e., dancing, modeling, camming, hardcore content, escorting, etc.).

This is the kind of statement that needs statistical evidence to be true. I don't think it is true, and it reinforces stereotypes, you might as well have added 'and do drugs and alcohol to excess'. All of the above may be true of some, but is it in fact true, and true that it is a 'disproportionate number' who are doing such things?

[GroobySteven]

This is the kind of statement that needs statistical evidence to be true. I don't think it is true, and it reinforces stereotypes, you might as well have added 'and do drugs and alcohol to excess'. All of the above may be true of some, but is it in fact true, and true that it is a 'disproportionate number' who are doing such things?

Lorca is absolutely correct in his statement, if it means a disproportionate number of trans women do some form of sex work, compared to cis-women.

[GroobySteven]

Having dated girls who've worked in the industry, I find it very difficult. I know that may come as surprising for someone who has spent his life working in the adult industry, but my personal makeup is one which would be jealous or irritated with my partner being with other people, for a paid gig. If it was just solo work, dancing, etc. that's fine - but hardcore porn content or escorting I'd find too difficult.

[GroobySteven]

Not to be mean, but I think I'd be worried about what a partner in the sex business might bring home (HPV, HIV, Genital Warts, Syphilis, etc.).

It doesn't make them not a nice person, but it is an added risk.

I realize that people aren't dying like flies from HIV anymore, but other venereal diseases aren't a walk in the park either.

That's pretty naïve to be frank, but unfortunately what a lot of people believe. Sex workers are more likely to get regular tests (certainly porn performers are tested every 2 weeks) and more aware on sexually transmitted diseases. After all, it's their livelihood that can be affected if they're out of action. In recent memory, all the performers on our side of the business have became infected from sex with civilians in a non-business sexual encounter. I see more risk by having unprotected sex from someone you meet on a night out, than with a professional sex worker.

[Lorca81]

Lorca is absolutely correct in his statement, if it means a disproportionate number of trans women do some form of sex work, compared to cis-women.

Disproportionate, as compared to cis, women is precisely what I meant, Steven. There is tons of statistical data from sociological studies evidencing this too ...

Having dated girls who've worked in the industry, I find it very difficult. I know that may come as surprising for someone who has spent his life working in the adult industry, but my personal makeup is one which would be jealous or irritated with my partner being with other people, for a paid gig. If it was just solo work, dancing, etc. that's fine - but hardcore porn content or escorting I'd find too difficult.

That does come as a bit of a surprise, but I get it. For my part, I absolutely hated going to Divas with my GF who danced there. Whether she was working or we just dropped by to see her friends, her interacting with regulars was always a big part of any night there. It didn't make me jealous, since I understood she relied on tips from regulars, but I did always feel like a third wheel.

That's pretty naïve to be frank, but unfortunately what a lot of people believe. Sex workers are more likely to get regular tests (certainly porn performers are tested every 2 weeks) and more aware on sexually transmitted diseases. After all, it's their livelihood that can be affected if they're out of action. In recent memory, all the performers on our side of the business have became infected from sex with civilians in a non-business sexual encounter. I see more risk by having unprotected sex from someone you meet on a night out, than with a professional sex worker.

I agree wholeheartedly. In my experience, people engaged in sex work are usually very rigorous in terms of condom use, regular testing, and taking PrEP. etc.

[Lorca81]

This is the kind of statement that needs statistical evidence to be true. I don't think it is true, and it reinforces stereotypes, you might as well have added 'and do drugs and alcohol to excess'. All of the above may be true of some, but is it in fact true, and true that it is a 'disproportionate number' who are doing such things?

Literally the first result I found on Google: https://transequality.org/sites/defa...rt_FINAL_3.pdf

[iHeart_PONG]

I would echo some of the statements above in that I am a very jealous and possessive person and would never be able to be with someone who was even dating someone else let alone a paid sex worker. Girls who are polyamorous are therefore lumped into the same category as girls who are escorts or who do hardcore in my book. Girls who just do solo stuff are fine with me but...

The second issue I have with dating a girl in the sex industry is one of attitude and personality. I don't think I would get along with many modern sex workers because based on the persona they present on social media, most do not appear to have a personality that would attract me as I like demure, low-maintenance and submissive girls that are not consumed with their looks. If she is the type of girl that spends $100K a year on clothes and makeup or the type to take 50 photos just to get the perfect picture to flex on instagram rather than savoring the actual moment they are experiencing, it doesn't matter how hot you look or how much your porn may turn me on, I'm just not going to like you as a person.

At the end of the day, I'm 43 and I am not attracting a hot transgirl sex worker who is in her 20s unless they are looking for a daddy-type to take care of them which would also turn me off. Taken together, these weird hangups I have are not a concern but I thought I would share.