Do People Know You're Into Trans Women?

[Cereal Escapist]

all those that have known me for some time or matter know (family, friends and my wife).

as for new or at least newer people that i have met after i met my wife (cis), it has never really come up since i'm relegated to porn now and it is therefore immaterial but when people do make fun of transpeople, m2f or f2m, I defend the community and will use myself as an example of how much of an ass they are being.

[Username13]

I feel like once you get past the teenage years it's kind of taboo to discuss sex or sexual preferences openly in general, so it only should really come up for relationships. Like whether you're watching porn or just hooking up with one-night stands, that isn't really a normal open topic of conversation whether you're with trangender girls or anyone else. At least for me when talking to guy friends like it's really surface level talk without going into any degree of depth.

I didn't discover my attraction for trans women until after those teenage years, so that's kind of been the thing for me. I 100% know it was due to that whole "taboo" nature people associate with trans women that was holding me back, like I was never transphobic or homophobic but I never wanted to have that stigma attached to me where I was seen as different so I just didn't expose myself to it. After a while though you kind of settle in to realize sexual preference isn't something you should be ashamed of and you start to explore more. I never really had that time where I felt like I was leading a double life or something like that, more so it was just accepting it personally.

But yeah, since I guess I've "accepted" my attraction to trans women, I've had one transgender girlfriend, so that's the only time it's come up. I made it really clear to her that I'd be comfortable with however she wanted to express herself to others, like to me it's crazy to do anything else. She was of the mind where she didn't want to make a big deal of it at all but also not try to hide that fact at all, which from my POV is the best way to do it. I told my parents before they met her and we also mentioned it to one of my best friends when we were out to dinner. I'm sure that spread from there to other friends, but it is what it is, it doesn't really matter. I never had any negative backlash to her or myself, only just like ignorant questions from my mom but she's really well-meaning, just kind of clueless about the transgender community.

[Lorca81]

I feel like once you get past the teenage years it's kind of taboo to discuss sex or sexual preferences openly in general, so it only should really come up for relationships. Like whether you're watching porn or just hooking up with one-night stands, that isn't really a normal open topic of conversation whether you're with trangender girls or anyone else. At least for me when talking to guy friends like it's really surface level talk without going into any degree of depth.

I didn't discover my attraction for trans women until after those teenage years, so that's kind of been the thing for me. I 100% know it was due to that whole "taboo" nature people associate with trans women that was holding me back, like I was never transphobic or homophobic but I never wanted to have that stigma attached to me where I was seen as different so I just didn't expose myself to it. After a while though you kind of settle in to realize sexual preference isn't something you should be ashamed of and you start to explore more. I never really had that time where I felt like I was leading a double life or something like that, more so it was just accepting it personally.

But yeah, since I guess I've "accepted" my attraction to trans women, I've had one transgender girlfriend, so that's the only time it's come up. I made it really clear to her that I'd be comfortable with however she wanted to express herself to others, like to me it's crazy to do anything else. She was of the mind where she didn't want to make a big deal of it at all but also not try to hide that fact at all, which from my POV is the best way to do it. I told my parents before they met her and we also mentioned it to one of my best friends when we were out to dinner. I'm sure that spread from there to other friends, but it is what it is, it doesn't really matter. I never had any negative backlash to her or myself, only just like ignorant questions from my mom but she's really well-meaning, just kind of clueless about the transgender community.

I hear what you're saying about discussing sexual practices, etc. Over the years, I have been asked some inappropriate questions related to dating trans women, included girlfriends' operative status, who tops/bottoms, etc. In those situations, I've always shutdown the conversation

My experience in dating trans women is similar, in the sense that none of my girlfriends necessarily advertised their trans status to the world but also did not hide it either.

[Kioji]

I'm an open book so anyone who asked would know and many do

[transeeker]

To say it's no one else's business may be true for most people in your social sphere. But towards close friends, an attraction to transgender women is only easy to conceal if you are not in a serious relationship with one. I would not wish to exclude any partner from my social life be they trans or gg - and I guess that's the case for most of us.

That said, I am ashamed to admit that I have not shared my admiration of trans women with anyone except other trans. But should the day arrive when I am fortunate enough to have a serious relationship with a trans partner, I would naturally open up to everyone (or should I say come out of the closet? I'm thinking that's a gay thing and I'm pretty sure I'm not gay in the purest sense of the word).

I can only think back in sadness of the poor young guy, Maurice Willoughby, who openly expressed his love for his trans gf - only to be chastised, bullied and persecuted for it - then being driven to suicide when she left him in fear for her own safety - God rest his soul! A modern day Romeo and Juliet story, only real! This is why I feel ashamed for not admitting my orientation to anyone. The more of us who do, maybe the greater the acceptance there will be from the world at large.

[furbygr]

No because that would create social problems

[Will Riker]

For me, third parties opinion in every field of humman relations is pure bullshit, as experiences and feelings are not to be shared with anyone, except those directly involved with such feeleings and experiences, as in general people use to see, and face things with black&white lenses, as far as those issues are concerned.

It would be useless trying to explain some things to those who can´t see beyond the limits of their own mediocrity.

[mikey_stl]

I've kept it a secret. I once told a gg that I was dating about it, and she freaked out. I'm single, but in a social circle in which this would be frowned on. Most of my experiences have been with escorts. I'd like to meet a trans woman for a dating, or even a serious, relationship. However, the dating pool seems to be quite small, so I'm not sure how to go about it. If I did meet a trans lady, and things started getting serious, I don't think I'd say anything to anyone. She would probably have to be passable. I would just introduce her to people as my girlfriend, fiance', or whatever. I imagine at some point, someone would learn or figure out that she was trans. I would then deal with it at the time. In other words, I don't broadcast my attraction to trans women, but if I was in a relationship with one, I wouldn't try to hide the fact either.

I guess it would be the same as if I was dating someone with hidden secrets in her past that she didn't want to tell the world about. We'd keep it as our secret, and if it came out, or someone found out, we'd deal with it then. I certainly wouldn't go into the details of our sex life or anatomy or anything of that nature.

[Lorca81]

I hear what y'all are saying about wanting to maintain a degree of privacy coupled with a willingness to "come out of the closet" for the right woman. The thing is, though, IME 99.9% of trans women looking for a real LTR are going to hear that and think, "yeah, right, I've heard that before. This guy is will always be DL chaser" then move on to the next perspective partner.

Honestly, in my dating life, the best decision I ever made was give zero fucks about what people think, never sneak around, and openly dating trans women. I've actually met several GF's who were way out of my league but willing to give me a chance because they already knew who I was through the trans women grapevine or could tell that I'm open about who I date from social media.

[Lorca81]

Bump.