Opinions Needed - Am I a good writer?

[snake_eater96]

Hi everyone,

Porn blogs don't seem to be much of a thing anymore, but I've always wanted to blog about trans porn so I'm trying it out for fun. I want to have personalized writing with the content instead of a mere dumping ground for pics and videos. This is what I wrote for my first post, I want to know if it's any good:

"Kalliny Nomura is a beautiful tgirl who is well equipped to blow your mind, as all trans goddesses are of course. In this segment, we're first greeted with a heavenly smile from a gorgeous face. As the camera pans, we get a glimpse of her soft cock dangling gracefully. She plays with it and the joy on her face is truly heart-warming.

Then, we skip to her beginning to play with her breasts. She wets her fingertip with her sweet saliva and rubs her nipples. To make matters even sexier, we get to see the sleeping giant finally awake but restrained. With her panties still on, her beautiful brown cock lies erect against her body, balls hanging out, legs spread apart - a real bombshell, imagine coming home to that! Sitting back to get more comfortable, she could no longer wait to feel her thick shaft in her hand, but she also seems eager to play with her hole.

Entering the next scene, we come face to face with the giant itself... her 9-inch 100% stiff Brazillian sausage... and my gosh is it large and extremely hard. It curves beautifully to the right and is an absolute delight to look at, so captivating. Seriously, I'd love to have a sculpture of her penis on my desk, double the wood (wink wink).

Kalliny strokes, squeezes and slaps her juicy cock in pure ecstasy. The sound of her deep moans and look of her lust-filled eyes will drive anyone wild. If the closeup up of her raging erection and hot voice isn't enough to get you leaking, she turns around and bends her big ass over with her cock tucked underneath. She goes from rubbing her asshole, winking it at the camera, spreading her cheeks and humping the bed like a horny little rabbit - this woman is the epitome of sexy.

During the last scene, she beats that mouthwatering dick of hers again, throbbing in all its hung glory. You know, It's a wonder to see her cock at different angles. Each perspective gives a different way to appreciate its beauty, that's what I love about curved tgirl cocks! But what say you? How do you feel about this fine woman? Let me know down below! "

[Stavros]

Sorry, doesn't work for me, as I can't see the point. In the old days the Reviews section was a fascinating, often hilarious mixture of reportage and fantasy, this to me has no purpose. And to be sarcastic, in regard to your first sentence- at my age it is not my mind I want blown. But fair dues for having a go, most people would not, so don't be too disheartened by my comment, others might like it.

[Lester316]

I assume you're going for a scene/website review or recap style blog? That might interest people who have yet to subscribe to certain sites (but make sure you are a subscribed yourself if you're going to give an opinion as nobody wants a review of illegally downloaded content).

If you're going for something like that you would need to include basic info such as scene length, website name, website pricing model, download or streaming etc. I'd also suggest paying more focus to how the scene is shot; the quality of the set and some information about the performer(s) rather than just a flowery personalised recap.

If you want to include some personal thoughts on how good the performer looks that's cool but comments like "100% stiff Brazilian sausage" (note the spelling correction also - proofreading is a must) are very antiquated.

With regards to general writing style and technique I'll pass on advice from one of my former university professors - some people throw commas at a sentence just for fun when they really aren't required. They are in fact the most awfully overused form of punctuation. Instead don't be afraid to use a simple short sentence or semi-colon. Maybe invest some time reading some quality authors and look at how they structure what they write.

Also don't be wary about constructive criticism one of the first things we teach during a creative writing module is to have others proofread and critique your work. Sometimes you often miss things stylistically that are glaringly obvious to others.

[GroobySteven]

Blog writing to SELL is often more about using the right words, and combination of words to get search engine hits, than actual good writing.

[Jericho]

Well, you're no Rodger Ebert.
But the internet's not about to run out of room anytime soon, so...

[snake_eater96]

Sorry, doesn't work for me, as I can't see the point. In the old days the Reviews section was a fascinating, often hilarious mixture of reportage and fantasy, this to me has no purpose. And to be sarcastic, in regard to your first sentence- at my age it is not my mind I want blown. But fair dues for having a go, most people would not, so don't be too disheartened by my comment, others might like it.

Thanks for the feedback. I'm not disheartened, this is why i wanted a different set of eyes so I can reflect on it more. I should note that the review was accompanied with a preview clip and a gallery, not just text. The idea was to have more than a video and gallery but a detailed description or story alongside it to increase the liveliness of the post, maybe even throwing in some art or animations at the end of each paragraph.

I've done some thinking and figured it wouldn't make much of a difference, so I just opted for a 2-sentence description. That seems to be the way to go.

[snake_eater96]

I assume you're going for a scene/website review or recap style blog? That might interest people who have yet to subscribe to certain sites (but make sure you are a subscribed yourself if you're going to give an opinion as nobody wants a review of illegally downloaded content).

If you're going for something like that you would need to include basic info such as scene length, website name, website pricing model, download or streaming etc. I'd also suggest paying more focus to how the scene is shot; the quality of the set and some information about the performer(s) rather than just a flowery personalised recap.

If you want to include some personal thoughts on how good the performer looks that's cool but comments like "100% stiff Brazilian sausage" (note the spelling correction also - proofreading is a must) are very antiquated.

With regards to general writing style and technique I'll pass on advice from one of my former university professors - some people throw commas at a sentence just for fun when they really aren't required. They are in fact the most awfully overused form of punctuation. Instead don't be afraid to use a simple short sentence or semi-colon. Maybe invest some time reading some quality authors and look at how they structure what they write.

Also don't be wary about constructive criticism one of the first things we teach during a creative writing module is to have others proofread and critique your work. Sometimes you often miss things stylistically that are glaringly obvious to others.

That and just a blog talking about trans porn, trans women, and maybe more down the line if it ever gains attention. You could say it's an all-purpose trans-oriented blog. I'm against piracy, so anything I plan to review or promote is done so through legal means. I also make that clear in the about section of the blog.

I will keep all of that in mind, thanks. For every performer/model I create a page for them with any information I can gather and a mini bio, it looks like this:



So I have that part covered.

I'll admit that this writing style isn't how I personally think for the most part (aside from the innuendos). I see a lot of exaggeration in porn titles, descriptions, comments, etc. I figured I could tap into that realm of writing. But I've decided to scrap that idea. I'm going for a shorter 2-3 sentence structure.

That's some quality advice. I have been trying to cut down on my comma usage as of late, a bad habit. I appreciate the suggestion. I like constructive criticism, it's what I felt I needed and that's what I got. Now I have a different perspective and made some changes.

[snake_eater96]

Blog writing to SELL is often more about using the right words, and combination of words to get search engine hits, than actual good writing.

Yes, I do understand that. My sole intent isn't to sell, however. I wanted it to feel more lively, blogging as someone who's not just trying to sell something but as someone who's genuinely into this sort of stuff like the viewer (a fan perspective).

My thought was that by doing this, it would be beneficial in some way. But after doing some thinking, I suppose whatever benefit it might've had would be very minimal at best, so I scrapped it for something much lighter. Thanks for the feedback, love your site!

[snake_eater96]

Well, you're no Rodger Ebert.
But the internet's not about to run out of room anytime soon, so...

Mm-hmm, you don't say... well, it's not like I was writing a review for The Titanic.