I'm NOT a "tranny chaser"!

[Paladin]

Great post Michelle...one observation...some gay people (just like straight people) don't really understand TS either...that's why they don't understand a man that is with a TS. They (just like straight people) don't always see TS as women...they still see them as their former gay friends.
You two just go on doing your thing and being happy...Fuck everyone else's opinions.

Which makes it even stranger when one considers that in many cities, the only place where TGs congregate is gay bars...

[whatsupwithat]

It seems like it prisses him off to no end. The dude needs to chill.

Hahaha! Yes, the dude has chilled a little. But I see from some of the posts that follow yours that the issue still lingers. And perhaps it isn't just one issue.

There are tranny chasers, just like there are players. They exist. One lover or girl isn't enough. It's about the sexual conquest, the new experience, having your cake and eating everyone elses too. We can all agree guys (and girls) like this exist and will continue to do so.

But on the flip side there are people in genuine relationships or who date within the community (quite often confused with chasers because everyone in this community knows everyone). These guys and gals really have no defining term. When their parents or family ask if their gay, straight, or bi, or whatever...each and every time, depending on the person, a different answer is given. There's no continuity. Many times it comes down to no label and a declaration of love. That's beautiful. But it doesn't help understanding in a society based upon definition of people, places, things...and sexualities.

I saw a comment "Yuck @ sexuality". Why yuck? Beyond genitals, where the discussion always seems to end up, how much do we really know about the interplay between biology and psychology among other things that lead us to desire someone? I have no idea what led me to desire my long term trans partner as I did. It was inherent within me, part of my makeup...probably since birth. When we kissed, I felt something more, deep, that I didn't get from others. I didn't grab for her genitals in some sort of crazy rush as if that's all that mattered. I liked kissing, making out, holding her, stopping and looking into each others eyes. It was real. It was intense. And when we got naked, the desire didn't stop. I wanted all of her - to touch, kiss, caress, make love to. And, no, I wasn't a secret bottom. And, no, it wasn't some dark fetishistic secret. We were genuinely in love and lust.

All of this came into play when someone used the tranny chaser term with me. I was offended. Not just for me. But for her. Do you understand perhaps why I went on that rant, does any of this make sense? I don't know.

There are a whole host of other issues (internalized transphobia, shame, societal prejudice, names, etc) that are part and parcel of our relationships with each other. But I honestly wish that we could learn to lift each other up as opposed to pushing each other down. Because, in the end, our own actions and words are just a mirror of what we think of ourselves.

[natina]

[phobun]

Hahaha! Yes, the dude has chilled a little. But I see from some of the posts that follow yours that the issue still lingers. And perhaps it isn't just one issue.

There are tranny chasers, just like there are players. They exist. One lover or girl isn't enough. It's about the sexual conquest, the new experience, having your cake and eating everyone elses too. We can all agree guys (and girls) like this exist and will continue to do so.

But on the flip side there are people in genuine relationships or who date within the community (quite often confused with chasers because everyone in this community knows everyone). These guys and gals really have no defining term. When their parents or family ask if their gay, straight, or bi, or whatever...each and every time, depending on the person, a different answer is given. There's no continuity. Many times it comes down to no label and a declaration of love. That's beautiful. But it doesn't help understanding in a society based upon definition of people, places, things...and sexualities.

I saw a comment "Yuck @ sexuality". Why yuck? Beyond genitals, where the discussion always seems to end up, how much do we really know about the interplay between biology and psychology among other things that lead us to desire someone? I have no idea what led me to desire my long term trans partner as I did. It was inherent within me, part of my makeup...probably since birth. When we kissed, I felt something more, deep, that I didn't get from others. I didn't grab for her genitals in some sort of crazy rush as if that's all that mattered. I liked kissing, making out, holding her, stopping and looking into each others eyes. It was real. It was intense. And when we got naked, the desire didn't stop. I wanted all of her - to touch, kiss, caress, make love to. And, no, I wasn't a secret bottom. And, no, it wasn't some dark fetishistic secret. We were genuinely in love and lust.

All of this came into play when someone used the tranny chaser term with me. I was offended. Not just for me. But for her. Do you understand perhaps why I went on that rant, does any of this make sense? I don't know.

There are a whole host of other issues (internalized transphobia, shame, societal prejudice, names, etc) that are part and parcel of our relationships with each other. But I honestly wish that we could learn to lift each other up as opposed to pushing each other down. Because, in the end, our own actions and words are just a mirror of what we think of ourselves.

I've seen some of your postings in the past, especially the one in which you tried to redefine transsexual as a man like yourself, in support of some new hybrid sexuality, and got a smack-down from Mandy. In your response above, your description of your feelings for your girlfriend is poignant, but I'm not sure what to make of all the platitudes that surround it. Perhaps you're a little too focused on how society perceives you and your interest in transgender women?

But you're right, this isn't an issue that has gone away. Just recently, some guys got incensed about this term, which is why I went looking to see if things ever change at this forum, and why I thought it was fair to bump this old rant.

Importantly, guys tend to focus on the "chaser" part and feel incensed about it. But if they were really into the community, their outrage would be directed at the use of the boorish epithet "tranny." But this skewed focus is the mark of a true chaser, someone who is fixated on himself.

Chasers can appear in many forms:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...&defid=1879806

Just because someone sees himself as forming "genuine relationships" and dating transgender women exclusively doesn't mean that he's not a chaser. Most chasers don't see themselves as self-focused. But they are self-focused, because their pursuit (or chase) is about fulfilling their own internal cravings for a particular body type or body part, and appreciating the girl as a distinct individual is always secondary. Too often, the desire to immerse oneself "in the community" is a means to an end, and not necessarily a noble endeavor.

So I think there there are many unwitting chasers chasing about in the community. But of course none of this may apply to you. I've never met you and you may be a very honorable guy with good intentions.

[MDM23]

Phobun you sound like a lefty wankish social worker type.

Have you ever met a TS in real life?

[LittleGuy]

ummm phobun is a ts

[dderek123]

ummm phobun is a ts

Jing lor?

(Really?)