The paradox of the "chaser"

[SXFX]

ok some economic theory up front...


So i was out with some friends last night...just looking to see what was out an what was worth chatting up. and i have a friend who sort of kind of plays this game but no an individual level.
Ok so we, 5 guys, walk into the bar. one of us goes for the blond, that's me. one for the redheads and one for the brunets and so on and so on ....and like any average guy in any average place we fail 90% of the time....anyone who said they do better than a 10% success rate is a lying sack of shit!

however we have this one friend who always manages to do 50/50 when it comes to getting laid / getting a number.

and it was a mystery to me.......until the other night....i actually stepped back and watched him do his thing.

a little about him and me.
I'm at the gym three day a week and for a 40+ yo guy i'm in shape..i don't have a gut, i don't have that lumbersexual look and i don't have a beard....i'm all of 5'7 but i can talk a good game.

My friend, taller and all of 150lbs soaking wet, hair looks like a bleached brillo pad and at best i would say he's on the spectrum.....but he gets laid like it's his job at times!

so whats his story!? Since i a horrible friend really never paid much attention to who he was getting laid with.
His answer was rather simple....economics.

I was like huh?
He said, "you all go for the pretty girls who look traditionally pretty! hair color not withstanding you all go for traditional looking women! i go for the "other women" or the "exotic women" at the bar."

then it hit me....case in point he will go after
the only Asian, African American, other woman at an all white bar.....
the overly tall white chick
though not a chubby chaser will go after the girl who is very bottom heavy...
the nerdy black girl
the rock and roll asian girl
the lady who is over 40 with her 30yo friends!

he goes for exotic.....the girls who everyone looks past.......per the video...we are all focused on the "blond" while he is focused on what the look past!

and his success rate is off the charts!

then i though.....(and this will get me into trouble here) would this apply to trans women?
how much more "other woman" / "exotic" can you get!

lets be honest....a solid 95% of all men are not interested in trans women.
of the 5% lets be real....less than half are interested in actually dating a trans woman!
so if you are ready to date a trans woman long term....what are you? 2% of the population? at best?

And so..if you are one of those 2% of men into dating long term trans women....shouldn't the odds be good? because all the other guys walked right past them?

Now lets look on the flip side of things? from the ladies point of view.

95% of men are not going to date you.....i'm sorry they are not that open minded.
of the 5% left say only 4% are even going to do more than just fuck you and treat you as a side piece!
of the 4% left assume half are your type...2%...and of those 2% you want the educated one who makes good money and has his life together? so you are down to 1% of men.

in theory......you the trans women are all fighting for that 1% of men who
1) are open and confident enough to date you and not just fuck you.
2) are your type
3) are financially secure to be viable

You ladies are all fighting for the "blond" in the equation.

So then why is it that all these trans dating web pages fail?
And trans women brush off this 1% of men as "chasers"?

yes in a perfect world in the perfect time no man would care if what gender you were born.....
and in a perfect world i woudn't need to go to the gym three days a week to keep my belly flat.

So what we have here is an economic model that is totally messed up.....And the only reason i can think of it is that......well......the average trans woman on an average dating web page is hit up by a million low risk pickup lines......which causes inflation of value and the mirage of choice? when in reality of the million text messages only one or two are of any value.

this is the paradox....from what i've seen of my friends deciding to go for the exotics he's done grate....but what i'm seeing here...tells me things are not working great....

i wonder if i'm missing something to complete this model?

[smalltownguy]

its already a messed up model ..and need collective effort to work over it

[SXFX]

ok i'll make it simple....my friend zigs when every one zags.
we all go for the "traditional" attractive lady.
he goes for the nontraditional attractive lady

[Cereal Escapist]

There is no secret to your friend's formula as it is tried and true and been done for years. Many men prey on the girls that don't get all the attention to make sure they do.

I would take your economic model of dating transwomen in a slightly different direction by applying the law of supply and demand to both the woman and the chaser.

1) Supply of all transwomen is low amongs the women of the world to choose from
2) Demand for transwomen is low among the entire population of men in the world.
3) Supply of chasers is high among those men who do like transwomen.
4) Thus demand to date transwomen is low among the men that seek transwomen (despite claims to the contrary).
5) Supply of Aubrey Kate's and Chanel Santini's is low among transwomen; that is, the successful women of porn are NOT representative of the average woman.
6) Demand for fully functional hot transwomen is high among changers; that is most chasers are not after the average transwoman who is a nurse, IT technician or waitress, they want what the see online.
7) Therefore, the supply of transwomen who are genuinely receptive to the advancements of men and not prejudging them as chasers, is low.

Taken all together, you can see why the system fails even before you weight the quality and wallet of the man who is looking to date a transwoman.

In the end, I don't blame some women for being so selective. Whether you are cis or trans, if you want a particular partner and are not "willing to settle" then go for it, but you can't wait for the handsome and hung investment banker with a yacht and summer home in Italy to find you by chance either. Likewise, if you are a man looking to date a transwoman, and not just the pornstar of your dreams, go out and look, you'd be surprised how many awesome women there are around you, unless you are located in a shitty part of the world. Then, just move.

In short, there are many men that do date transwomen. You just have to stop being a chaser and be open to the woman in front of you, not the cock in her panties and your ability to attach someone will increase.

I will say this, every guy wants a 10, but a 10 doesn't want every guy. That is something men need to deal with just as much as women do.

[SXFX]

i agree 100%
My last two TGGF's where " the average transwoman who is a nurse, IT technician or waitress,"
one was in IT...gorgeous redhead with an amazing body under her lumpy clothes.
and the other was a freelance music teacher.

BUT that said...I got lucky...found both lost in OKcupid.

I tried transdate.com....woooh what a mess that was!

[SXFX]

but that said.....the two i did date long term did "pass" so i don't think they qualify as "exotic"

[Cereal Escapist]

I've only truly dated 3 transwomen because I don;t count girls as being someone I dated if we never made it to a 2nd date or 2nd base. "Date" to me means multiple outings and fuck sessions over time. I have paid to fuck a few 10s (there have been 11 escorts over the years) and I am happy to have had those experiences, but I would never have dated them.

Using that definition for "date", though I have a problem with giving a numeric rating to girls I actually had feelings for, since I so heavily weight personality, intelligence and charm over looks but I guess two of them were solid 8s and one was a soft 7. In terms of cisgender girls, where i have dated 8 girls, my ratings are about the same.

[skribble1]

I've only known 2 trans girls in real life. Both young (under 25), both met at the gym, things moved along nicely in the beginning, numbers exchanged, texting/talking went well etc etc.

One was SUPER hot and she knew it, the other, not so much but still attractive. Looong story short:

I'm in that 4% that would've not just fucked um and that's it. I had no problem hanging out/being seen in public/going out a date/whatever with both of them. What ended things was their almost manic/bi polar state of mind. It never felt like I was speaking to a normal, real girl. It felt like someone trying really hard to act like one.

I was willing to not just have a chaser mindset but really treat the situation as "normally" as possible. But they made it impossible to do so. Obviously it was just an experience with 2 people but it kinda soured me a bit.

[filghy2]

I think your economic model may be missing a bit of economics. One of the basic principles of economics is that, unless there is some kind of entry barrier, any excess gains from a particular strategy cannot persist. That's because other people will see that it's a successful strategy and move into it until there is no longer any advantage in doing so. What is it that prevents this happening in the pickup/dating market?

Your model also seems to assume that people only care about scoring, and not who they score with. The alternative explanation for your story is that your daggy friend is happy to buy the cheapest product available (where the price of dating is the amount of time/effort/expense per success), whereas your other friends care more about quality.

There is an economic model that explains why the online dating market does not work well, which is the 'market for lemons'. The original example was the used car market, and the idea is that if buyers have no way to tell a good used car from a dud (information asymmetry) then the only cars on the market will duds because the owners of good cars will not get a high enough price. In the online dating market, people have no reliable way to know in advance whether potential dates are are good ones or duds, so the good ones will tend to stay out and and the duds will predominate.

[nysprod]

lets be honest....a solid 95% of all men are not interested in trans women.

A much higher percentage than that are interested, at least to the point where they look at trans porn.

Additionally, upwards of 90% of male trump supporters believe Michelle Obama is a man and are very interested lol

Also, Melania is not trans although she looks trannyliscious to me lol