AMA - Steven Grooby (Ask Me Anything)

[kmersh]

Steven, once again thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to answer our questions.

Over the years, I have had a question of appropriateness and I never have know the proper answer and you of all people should hopefully be able to shed some light on the subject.

Circa 2018, I was sitting in the gate area of an airport and noticed a young lady walk into the gate area, I recognized her as a one of my favorite transgender porn actresses and I started to look for a piece of paper to get her autograph and then I stopped and started to think twice about my decision.

I began to think to myself that she is there in her every day life, travelling on her real name and not her stage name and may or may not want to talk with a fan of her movies, furthermore I would not want to out her as transgender, so I decided that discretion was the better part of valor and just decided to smile to myself and go about what I was doing prior to noticing her which was reading a magazine.

Maybe 10 minutes later a very awkward sort of man walked into the gate area and sat down directly across from said transgender porn actresses and after scanning the room he looked straight at her, then pulled out his phone, did something, looked at her again and then at his phone again.

He then got up from his seat and walked over to saying very loudly saying hi using her stage name and then loudly enough for the entire gate area to hear him how much he loved her films and how is such a fan, now folks are staring at him (and her) and he continues loudly how he never imagined that he would get to meet her in real life and how excited he is and how she is just as pretty in real life as she is on film.

She had a look of pure dread on her face and probably embarrassment as well as he just goes on and on, with her finally saying maybe you could keep it down a little and then having to say much louder to keep his voice down.

He asks for a selfie and she does oblige him, then the Gate Agent announces boarding and she says, it is time to board pointing at his bags, he maybe gets the message, but regardless he does walk back to his bags still waving at her and just overall being awkward.

As I was sitting in First Class I boarded and do no know what happened after that point, I did not see him nor her again for the remainder of the flight and I presume that there were no further incidents as we deplaned normally upon arrival.

Is it appropriate for fans to meet girls in public going about their everyday normal lives or it is more appropriate for us to see them, but give them their privacy and not make contact with them?

I honestly can see arguments for either answer, but I figure that in your years of experience you probably have a good idea what the appropriate action is or is not.

I am quoting myself to make an edit because the website doesn't seem to have the option to edit my own post.

My apologies!

It should read: He then got up from his seat and walked over very loudly saying hi using her stage name...

[filghy2]

I am quoting myself to make an edit because the website doesn't seem to have the option to edit my own post.

You can only make edits within 10 minutes of posting.

The odds are the klutz you described was a HA member, though I guess they are not likely to out themselves.

[Helvis2012]

Pretty cool scene you've got Stephen.
You live your life free of BS many get stuck on.
So here it is, what would you tell someone asking
how to be free of societal nonsense to persue what they dig?

[GroobySteven]

I am quoting myself to make an edit because the website doesn't seem to have the option to edit my own post.

My apologies!

It should read: He then got up from his seat and walked over very loudly saying hi using her stage name...

I don't think it's any different from meeting any 'famous' or recognisable celeb. Judge the situation and see if it's appropriate, and then be discreet. I met Ridley Scott at last year, and I went up to him and just thanked him quietly 'from one Northern boy to another' and he was very gracious, Nikolaj Coster Waldau (Jamie Lannister) from Game of Thrones was the same and just said 'make it quick before anyone sees' for a photo. JB Smoove (Leon from Curb Your Enthusiasm) does the same morning walk as I do, and was really great to talk to. And Steven Spielberg actually engaged me on football for 15 mins in an airport lounge a few years ago. In all cases, I judged their situation that it was appropriate to approach them without drawing too much attention or inconveniencing them. I would never approach someone in a restaurant (despite sitting next to William H Macy and Felicity Huffman), I wouldn't interrupt them when they appeared to be in a rush, out with their family or engaged in something else (Kirsten Dunst in a smoothie bar with her kid last week in LA). There are my humble brags on who I've met (there are many more).

So for porn stars. Yes, it's okay to approach them under the same guidelines. I'd say if they were with someone else, to not embarress them as their friend not be aware what they do for a living. To go up to a pornstar in an airport and simply and quietly say 'I really enjoy your work, I just wanted to say 'thank you', if you can clarify it further ('I love you on Groobygirls' or 'I'm on your OnlyFans'and would it be possible to get a selfie with you' is entirely appropriate. It's also fine for that person to refuse and at that point, just move on. You don't know if they have anxiety issues or whatever is going on in their life. If they are happy to chat and take a photo, then great - but don't outstay your welcome - thank them and go back to your seat and leave them be. The most common issue girls have is that they'll take the photo, and then the 'fan' takes it as an invitation to try and become pals.

[GroobySteven]

Pretty cool scene you've got Stephen.
You live your life free of BS many get stuck on.
So here it is, what would you tell someone asking
how to be free of societal nonsense to persue what they dig?

I don't understand what you mean? Is it to just to live your life how you want without people creating drama or stress because of how/who you like?