Your account has been deleted.

and now i can breathe......i just deleted my OKcupid online dating account....
now i know what addicts feel like when they walk away from an addiction.
it wasn't all bad....

my first date on OKC was with this OMG gorgeous TS woman.....wow it was amazing and i did a hell of a job fucking it up....but OMG it was amazing...she was amazing.....gorgeous and so open and well i was damaged goods at the time due to going though a divorce.....yeah yeah yeah hardly an excuse i guess...

my second date was with a Hungarian woman....wow another amazing few months but wellllll she needed a green card and i was too burned from my divorce....strike two i guess....

i don't think i made it to strike three.......but i figured this.....online dating is nice way to kill your soul...as a man life can be tough.....even a good looking guy can have a shit life....we never get hit on we never get the look we might as well be invisible in the world we live in unless we interact with it by making the first move........and the online world just amplifies this.

so for some i'm sure it's just a never ending sea of opportunity....but well for me living in the burbs it was not.....though i'll never forget Emi......she use to tell me that i was handsome square to my face...tell me that i was attractive....but after 7 abusive years with my x wife where i had to beg for sex and never told i was handsome.....i guess being told i was handsome did and does still scare me....

so to recovery! may all you horrible fuckers meet someone amazing who looks you square in the eyes and tells you with a big honest smile that you are a handsome man and that she wants you all the time.