How censoring porn changed me.

[kevmart87]

Many years ago I worked for a P2P cam company. It was easy work, good money, had benefits and the culture was really cool but twisted. This was a multi-million dollar company. They had the large office building, biometric scanners, hi end tech, it was very modern.

I was 20 at the time and my friend worked there and he got me an interview. I went for an interview where we discussed some morale and ethical stuff, mainly to see if I could handle the job. Being a horny kid at the time who was alittle deviant, I had no moral or ethical issues with the job. I got hired on and went for training a week later.

Training was interesting to say the least. Nothing like sitting down with a women in a suit who with a straight face showed me porn and talked porn law. Things like the five knuckle rule. Five knucks deep is considers fist and illegal is some places but four or less is ok. It was crazy and exciting.

The work was simple, I made sure everything was legal. What does that mean, I censored/edited footage and photos and watch recorded videos to ensure nothing illegal happend (bestiality, drugs, underage, etc). There was a lot to it, we had manuals and on the job training to ensure we knew what to look for and how to handle it.

So what was it like to work there?

Let's look at exposure. On average I worked a 40 hour work week, which was 160 hours a month. If I worked at an efficient pace, let's say 85% work to 15% waste. I'd end up viewing 136 hours of porn at work each month. I still would go home and watch at least 30-60 mins of porn a day for personal use. Thats at least 15 hours a month and it could of easily been 30 as I enjoyed my personal time. So now I'm watching 151-166 hours of porn a month. That's an average of 5.3 hours of porn watched a day. If I was awake for 16 hours a day, I spend one third of my day literally watching porn.

I saw everything you could see within the realm of the law. I saw straight, bi, gay, transgender, solo, couples, and groups. Then the fetishs and by the way none of that other stuff is a fetish. Sitting on a cake, now that's a fetish, popping a ballon that has smoke in it, that's a fetish. Then there were categories which you were assigned daily, let's just say the bear category usually was the least organized as no body wanted to see that.

Now imagine if you had unlimited access to a cam site that people had to pay by the minute to access. I could see anything at anytime, I would even watch the live shows. I was the admin. The guy who you didn't know was also watching the private show but was getting paid to do so.

It was fucking amazing, especially being a 20 year old virgin. I effectively could walk around the girls locker room but was invisible.

What was even wilder was the culture. So here you have men and women in there 20s who essential censor'd porn. Was it a professional environment, for the most part. We would occasionally grab each other's attention when we found something interesting and generally talked about things not related to the job.

However due to the jobs atmosphere the conversations could get down right dirty. Remember this is an office in a building with lots of departments and staff. Now I worked the night shift so we were one of the only departments open, so the conversion got down right raunchy. I will never forget one girl who would never stop talking about how her boyfriend would not ejaculate on her face. It was wired, even for a bunch of porn censors.

We often played games like "would you fuck". A simple concept, find someone who is questionable attractive and see who in room would be willing to sleep with them. I remember shortly after I was hired on, the game was played and because I was new they had a special girl for me.

It was a picture of a sexy brunette from behind. Her body was amazing and so was her ass. It was an obvious yes! They all snickerd and told me to look her up. Well you probably know where this is going. She also had a nice sized cock. I'll never forget the feeling I felt. I was in shock, how could she look so sexy, I mean she was breathtaking but she had a cock. Inside, I felt a small tingle and I couldn't believe what I thought to myself, I wasnt sickened or repulsed. She was all women, with or without the dick. Changed my opinion abit, but I wasn't into transsexuals (TS) yet.

I continue to work for that company for many months before quiting. Even though I made decent money, got benefits, had a cool working environment with the keys to candy shop I had to quit. Why? It made me incredibly lonely. For 5.3 hours a day I watch other people have sex and achieve pleasure. I'll never forget this one couple, they weren't very attractive, in fact they were kind of a joke around the office, but I watched their videos repeatedly, almost every night. Why? It was obviously they where in love and very sexually comfortable with each other. This unimpressive couple had showed me how cold and lonely my world was.

After I left that job I spend a while mopeing around, questioning why I was alone. What was wrong with me? I kinda slow down a lot on the porn and masterbation. I went to gym and got in pretty good shape, I socialized with friends and worked hard in school and got another job. Did I find a girlfirend or lose my virginity, not for another four years. So what was it? Was it the porn or my confidence.

The answer should be obvious, it was my lack of confidence.

Did the job effect me? Sure it did. Did it cause me to escalate my porn watching habits at home, nope I was still vanilla for a while. I was very desensitized and it became really hard to disgust me after that. I also stopped caring about other people's choices when it came to relationships and sex. If they wanted a fat girl, skinny girl, latin guy, black TS or what ever combination, people just want someone to be with both emotionally and sexually.

The cam business is sad, sure some people come for the kinks but others mainly men are just so lonely. Hell I was the man in the middle and I really was no different. Even the performers on the other end of camera are
alone. It didn't take long to figure out that some of the performers were not individuals at home trying to make a dollar but women or even men in a "cam house" who were being forced to work. Human trafficking is real and that also affected me.

It wasn't for almost a year before I realized that I had a big kink. One day while masterbating I ran into some transexual porn but at first I did not realize it. It was some hot
curvy latina riding on top of a man. At some point the camera angle changed and for me a lot more changed. She was a beautiful well endowed TS. It was shocking at the time but it was like a door was opened inside of me and I was no longer some basic cookie cutter guy. Who wants vanilla when you can have mint chocolate chip. It was very exciting and after some slow cautious exportation I knew I was hooked.

Was it porn escalating that day that got me? I don't think so. It was the one day in the office when I played "would you fuck" and I was tricked into saying yes to the TS, but when I saw all of her in her compete glory I had a realization. She was sexy and a women, period. Yet she was more, she was special and relatable. I knew what a cock was, I have one and I was not afraid to touch it, so why would
I be afraid of hers. In the end she was smoking hot and I would of been lucky to share a conversation with someone as gorgous as her let alone share her bed. It came down to one last correlation years later. I know and understand how to make myself feel good, it's not complicated. Knowing that she's similarly equipped it wouldn't be hard to make that gorgeous women feel very good and who wouldn't want to please such a gorgeous women. Genitals don't make a person who they are, that person makes them who they are. For me there is nothing in a girls pants that
could disappointed me. Unfortunately, I was never able to experience a TS but instead got married to a beautiful genetic women.

In closing we all need love and effection. If something feels right (within the boundaries of the law) then that is all that matters. Its your life, live it for you and not for society.

[IluvemHung]

This was a very good read! I was entertained, and there was some truth and enlightenment! My question is after seeing this is, "What was the purpose of writing this? And do you have any desire too, or regrets that you didnt have intercourse with a TS?"

[kevmart87]

This was a very good read! I was entertained, and there was some truth and enlightenment! My question is after seeing this is, "What was the purpose of writing this? And do you have any desire too, or regrets that you didnt have intercourse with a TS?"

Q) What was the purpose of writing this?

A) To share my story of an interesting time in my life and I how I came to discover Transwomen, how my attraction both natural developed and how my heart was opened up beyond what society accepts as normal.

Q) And do you have any desire too, or regrets that you didnt have intercourse with a TS?

A) Yes, but I'm married (see my confession post I made recently if your curious) and absolutely I wish I could of been sexually involved with at TS.

Back in my early twenties I didn't want to just to have intercourse, I was a virgin and I want to experience passionate love making and not just intercourse. That funny looking couple in my story showed me the power of being in love and how sex between two lovers is living art.This desire for passion rather then just sex caused me to loose many good years during a time when I was both young, extremely fit and free to explore my sexuality.

Thanks for reading my story.

[Ts RedVeX]

[IluvemHung]

Thank you.

[sheer1]

What a wonderful read/story. It seems to me that you are on a path of self enlightenment and understand that fact. Here's to your growing and expanding wisdom. Thanks for sharing.

[gaysian71]

That's a very cool story. Something that most of us will never have the opportunity to experience. But towards the end you wrote.

"It didn't take long to figure out that some of the performers were not individuals at home trying to make a dollar but women or even men in a "cam house" who were being forced to work. Human trafficking is real and that also affected me."

Did you really mean that some of the performers were forced to work again their will? Or did you mean that the did it because they had to, because they felt they had no other opportunities to make more money?

[kevmart87]

That's a very cool story. Something that most of us will never have the opportunity to experience. But towards the end you wrote.

"It didn't take long to figure out that some of the performers were not individuals at home trying to make a dollar but women or even men in a "cam house" who were being forced to work. Human trafficking is real and that also affected me."

Did you really mean that some of the performers were forced to work again their will? Or did you mean that the did it because they had to, because they felt they had no other opportunities to make more money?

I'm sure some people did it as they had no other way to support themselves. However "cam houses" are a real thing and it was known by the company. We were actually instructioned by the company to look out for any signs of abuse and to report it. We didn't catch if often but it happened. Some of these houses were just places of work, others not. These performers worked and lived in small squares made of three drop down sheets that acted as walls. On the other side of these walls were more performers. Some never left, some rotated through. It was a 24 hour operation. Most of the houses at the time were somewhere in Eastern Europe. It was thought at the time that these girl who rotated were also likely being forced into sex acts as well.

The sex industry is full of human trafficking and if there is money to be made criminal organizations will buy, sell and obtain men and women to fulfill their requirements. Mostly overseas but it also happens in the US. These prostitutes are recruit by force and are usually nothing more then sex slaves.

There is a good chance those gorgeous ladyboys online and in the clubs overseas are being forced to perform. They likely won't tell you what's going on as they want to make money or else suffer dire consequences. Some do it for money for their surgery but it's usually so expensive that they are eternally in debt to the "lender".These girls are often drugged up to make them easier to control. In the most extreme cases young boys are kidnapped and trained to be ladyboys.

I have seen human trafficking while working in the cam industry, I was trained on it in the military and while deployed to countries like the Philippines, Singapore, S. Korea and others I have seen these poor souls being force each night to try and solicit American services members.

I made my decision back when I was 20 to not support human trafficking. I don't visit cam sites and I definitely don't buy someone for the night. This obviously makes it harder for one to experience a Tgirl but personally I dont see how one could truly enjoy the company of anyone who is a sex slave and who is being raped everyday. Sure some people volunteered, some even like it but a lot arn't, and you generally are never told the truth.