Advice on confession to wife.

[kevmart87]

Many years ago I was a member here. One day I met a women, I fell in love and requested my account be deleted. I'm now married to that women. She is beautiful, loving and truly irreplaceable. Our sex life has been on the fritz for many years and lately my sex drive has ramp'd up a lot and I started confessing that I want our sex life to be better and more adventurous.

Simple right, Fuck your wife.

No so easy.

Many years ago (6ish) she discovered that I was into Tgirl porn. She was not happy to say the least and I down played it the best I could. She has always been cautious since then (I guess for good reason) and lately my sexual awaking is making her ask questions instead of being excited. She wants the full truth, but I am afraid to tell her as she already calls me a "closet" homo because I don't give her body enough attentions. I am ready to get in front of this, but I don't want to over speak and scare her off.

So this is the truth about my obsession. A warning to the transwomen in the forums, I'm sorry if I come across as some chaser, admirer and/or pig who objectifies Tgirls. I have never got to know a real Tgirl in person, so I apologized for making assumptions. To me you are women inside and out and not just some sex object. These are my deepest sexual desires and feelings on my attraction to Tgirls.

About 12 years ago in my early twenties, I stumbled into Tgirl porn and it blew my mind, since then I have exclusive masturbated to it. In fact I masturbate up to ten times a day on some occasions to Tgirls. There is something about a beautiful women with a hard-on. It seems so genuine to me, I can visibly see she is really turned on, its very exciting. Watching a Tgirl get penetrated by a man or have fellatio performed on her till the point of her ejaculation seems so real and unfakeable. I understand the feeling of having a hard on and the feeling of ejaculating and the though of making a beautiful Tgirl orgasm and ejaculate is absolutely amazing. I feel like it would be more rewarding then going down on a GG. I have read and been told that alot of Tgirls do not want or care for fellatio, but the though of bringing her to orgasm with proof (ejaculating in mouth) seems so empowering and sexy. I also feel a tgirl would better understand a mans penis and the male sex drive. Then there is the possibility of giving her a prostate orgasm and watching the result. There is just something about giving someone sexual pleasure that turns me on and well making someone cum especially a tgirl is like watching fireworks, it simply takes my breath away every time. This overly sexual, my apologies.

I love the idea of sex with a tgirl and do regret not trying it before I met my wife. I was never ok with the idea of an escort because of the legal and health risks. I wish I had the courage to find a nice tgirl and have had a fling with her. If I would of fell in love fine, I was looking for relationship back then anyways. I just didn't have the self confidence back then. Maybe my sexual fantasies are delusional but in my head and loins it just seems so right. The idea of a Tgirl is, is amazing and powerful and puts feelings in my chest that make me quiver.

Unfortunately, my wife while I do love to make love to her and go down on her can't fulfill the fantasy of a Tgirl. I have glamorized Tgirls and put them on a pedestal as the ultimate sexual partner. I feel my desires will never go away and I don't fear that, I only fear that one day I will die without experiencing the pleasures of a Tgirl.

I don't plan on cheating on my wife nor leaving her to experience what I am so obviously obsessed with. I do want to fix our sex life and make her happy. I am willing to come out about this, I am scared and obviously I can not confess how deeply turned on I am by Tgirls as it will make her feel inadequate. Currently I'm starting a No Fap reboot (no porn or masturbation) to try and learn to suppress my desires. I'm not sure what the result of coming clean will produces but if she truly loves me then maybe she will accept it. She may however be crushed and not accept it and put us through a very expensive and painful divorce. Either way she wants to know the truth. Also my wife admits to being Bi but her attitude about men being Bi is rather negative and while I'm ready to admit my attracting to pre-op transsexuals, she will probably consider me a homosexual. I have never been turned on by another man, masculine nor effeminate. The male body just doesn't turn me on. Convince her of that will prove to be a challenge if I tell her I want to perform fellatio on a tgirl.


Any advice or incite will be greatly appreciated.

[pariahsan]

Unless you tell your wife the truth, you will live a life of lies.

[blackchubby38]

I say tell her the truth and see what happens next. Tell her exactly how you feel like you did in your post. After that, I think you have only one option.

If an open marriage or polyamorous relationship is off the table, then I think you have to file for a divorce. As painful and as expensive it maybe.

While you may say that you don't plan on cheating on her, she is always going to wonder what you're up to if you don't come home at a certain time. No relationship can possibly survive if the people in it don't trust each other.

On the flip side, our passions sometimes get the best of us. So lets say one day you do give in to them and wind up cheating on her. That's going to make the situation even worse if she finds out about it.

[nysprod]

Your marriage sounds like a disaster...no sex and she thinks you're a homo anyway...do the right thing and get a lawyer.

And don't confess anything, you'll end up paying even more.

[deepfix]

I am not married so take my advice for what it's worth. But I agree with "nysprod". The problem isn't the desires or fantasies in your head. The problem is with your wife and her mistrust of you. Get ahead of the sitch and get a lawyer. This isn't minority report. You can't confess to something you haven't done.

[gaton]

Is telling the truth supposed to make her feel better by understanding you or make you feel better by not feeling guilty? It sounds like you want to tell her to make yourself feel better, which sounds like a bad reason to do it. Lying is underrated. No one is hurt by lying except maybe for yourself. And that is partially what a relationship is about. doing what is best for your partner even at a cost to yourself.

If you can't stand lying then maybe buy a strap on for her? see what she says?

[runningdownthatdream]

Many years ago I was a member here. One day I met a women, I fell in love and requested my account be deleted. I'm now married to that women. She is beautiful, loving and truly irreplaceable. Our sex life has been on the fritz for many years and lately my sex drive has ramp'd up a lot and I started confessing that I want our sex life to be better and more adventurous.

Simple right, Fuck your wife.

No so easy.

Many years ago (6ish) she discovered that I was into Tgirl porn. She was not happy to say the least and I down played it the best I could. She has always been cautious since then (I guess for good reason) and lately my sexual awaking is making her ask questions instead of being excited. She wants the full truth, but I am afraid to tell her as she already calls me a "closet" homo because I don't give her body enough attentions. I am ready to get in front of this, but I don't want to over speak and scare her off.

So this is the truth about my obsession. A warning to the transwomen in the forums, I'm sorry if I come across as some chaser, admirer and/or pig who objectifies Tgirls. I have never got to know a real Tgirl in person, so I apologized for making assumptions. To me you are women inside and out and not just some sex object. These are my deepest sexual desires and feelings on my attraction to Tgirls.

About 12 years ago in my early twenties, I stumbled into Tgirl porn and it blew my mind, since then I have exclusive masturbated to it. In fact I masturbate up to ten times a day on some occasions to Tgirls. There is something about a beautiful women with a hard-on. It seems so genuine to me, I can visibly see she is really turned on, its very exciting. Watching a Tgirl get penetrated by a man or have fellatio performed on her till the point of her ejaculation seems so real and unfakeable. I understand the feeling of having a hard on and the feeling of ejaculating and the though of making a beautiful Tgirl orgasm and ejaculate is absolutely amazing. I feel like it would be more rewarding then going down on a GG. I have read and been told that alot of Tgirls do not want or care for fellatio, but the though of bringing her to orgasm with proof (ejaculating in mouth) seems so empowering and sexy. I also feel a tgirl would better understand a mans penis and the male sex drive. Then there is the possibility of giving her a prostate orgasm and watching the result. There is just something about giving someone sexual pleasure that turns me on and well making someone cum especially a tgirl is like watching fireworks, it simply takes my breath away every time. This overly sexual, my apologies.

I love the idea of sex with a tgirl and do regret not trying it before I met my wife. I was never ok with the idea of an escort because of the legal and health risks. I wish I had the courage to find a nice tgirl and have had a fling with her. If I would of fell in love fine, I was looking for relationship back then anyways. I just didn't have the self confidence back then. Maybe my sexual fantasies are delusional but in my head and loins it just seems so right. The idea of a Tgirl is, is amazing and powerful and puts feelings in my chest that make me quiver.

Unfortunately, my wife while I do love to make love to her and go down on her can't fulfill the fantasy of a Tgirl. I have glamorized Tgirls and put them on a pedestal as the ultimate sexual partner. I feel my desires will never go away and I don't fear that, I only fear that one day I will die without experiencing the pleasures of a Tgirl.

I don't plan on cheating on my wife nor leaving her to experience what I am so obviously obsessed with. I do want to fix our sex life and make her happy. I am willing to come out about this, I am scared and obviously I can not confess how deeply turned on I am by Tgirls as it will make her feel inadequate. Currently I'm starting a No Fap reboot (no porn or masturbation) to try and learn to suppress my desires. I'm not sure what the result of coming clean will produces but if she truly loves me then maybe she will accept it. She may however be crushed and not accept it and put us through a very expensive and painful divorce. Either way she wants to know the truth. Also my wife admits to being Bi but her attitude about men being Bi is rather negative and while I'm ready to admit my attracting to pre-op transsexuals, she will probably consider me a homosexual. I have never been turned on by another man, masculine nor effeminate. The male body just doesn't turn me on. Convince her of that will prove to be a challenge if I tell her I want to perform fellatio on a tgirl.


Any advice or incite will be greatly appreciated.

Life isn't that difficult. Do what you want. Fuck a tgirl or fuck your wife. Either way you need a divorce.

[kevmart87]

Your marriage sounds like a disaster...no sex and she thinks you're a homo anyway...do the right thing and get a lawyer.

And don't confess anything, you'll end up paying even more.

While she has questioned my sexuality it was never in a nasty way, I think she is teasing me most of the time but his is also concerned about the little bit she knows. The no sex issue is me, I am truly obsessed with transsexuals and it drives me to masterbate so much that I have a very low libido.

I do love my wife, she is faithful and a military spouse who enjoys the lifestyle and can handle deployments. She is also a very gorgeous women who takes good care of me. We are both a catch in each other's eyes. She has always been a little jealous and a afraid to loose me, maybe she's alittle crazy but who isn't. I don't have much room to speak. We have built a life together and my wife wants to have my baby.

She is not the aggressor in bed, she wants me to seduce her and my confidence in the bedroom with her embarrassingly is not great. I just want to make her orgasm and I'm never sure if I did, My mistrust in GG women's truth about if they had an orgasm is a major reason I'm attracted to transsexuals. My deepest sexual pleasure Is getting my partner off.

[kevmart87]

Is telling the truth supposed to make her feel better by understanding you or make you feel better by not feeling guilty? It sounds like you want to tell her to make yourself feel better, which sounds like a bad reason to do it. Lying is underrated. No one is hurt by lying except maybe for yourself. And that is partially what a relationship is about. doing what is best for your partner even at a cost to yourself.

If you can't stand lying then maybe buy a strap on for her? see what she says?

I would hope it frees the both of us, but I'd im imagine I'll be the one sleeping better at night.
I could down play it again, as she wants to talk about what she found many years ago. It was just porn related and a ts dating site account email from before I met her. I do want to confess, I figure if she knows my deepest desires then she can't question me and we will be completely open. I can't keep lying to her, she knows already. She jokes about it sometimes saying that I'd like something extra, I just shy up and denie it.

As for the strap on, what good will that be? I have no desire to be penitrated.

[kevmart87]

I say tell her the truth and see what happens next. Tell her exactly how you feel like you did in your post. After that, I think you have only one option.

If an open marriage or polyamorous relationship is off the table, then I think you have to file for a divorce. As painful and as expensive it maybe.

While you may say that you don't plan on cheating on her, she is always going to wonder what you're up to if you don't come home at a certain time. No relationship can possibly survive if the people in it don't trust each other.

On the flip side, our passions sometimes get the best of us. So lets say one day you do give in to them and wind up cheating on her. That's going to make the situation even worse if she finds out about it.

Your right, If I fully open up then she will wonder forever and always question our relationship.

She has offered to open our relationship up and let us see other people. I don't feel that's a good idea. For one, If she was having sex with another guy it would bother me. What if I did sleep with a Tgirl, maybe id be satisfied and move on, but what if realized that this is what I want and now I just want to be with a Tgirl. What if I fall in love or she does?

It's a slippery slope having an open relationship.

Now we have joked about a threesome, but I of course wanted another women in bed and she a man. I always though with her being Bi and me being into Tgirls would not a Tgirl threesome with my wife just make sense? I just couldn't see my wife enjoy watch me give a Tgirl fellatio or stroke her during sex. I'd be to embarrassed in front of my wife to let go and make love to the tgirl. Even if I did let go, I'd fear my get jellious about how excited and turned on I might get.

I don't know, an open relationship seems complicated and risky. As of right now I have done nothing wrong but have deep desires about Tgirls. Thats not illegal.