Advice on confession to wife.

[tacocorpv2]

He could try that hypnosis stuff, personally I don't believe in it but who knows... Make the desire to go away so to speak.

[Ts RedVeX]

My grandma always said: "If he comes back for the night, then it's all good". (And they had been married with my grandad for over 60 years.)

If your wife doesn't want to be with you any more, she will do everything to use this situation to get free.

If she does want to be with you, then you will stay together. Only now, you know eachother better.

nysprod is right. Unless you want to have a toxic relationship. I would try to use the fact that you are out to my advantage if I were in your shoes. After all, nothing has changed in what you feel towards your wife. You have had this thing for trans girls all the way and your marriage was fine, so it should remain like that. The problem is that you have lost your wife's trust rather than that you are attracted to tgirls.

[tsluvus]

My point is you should NEVER divorce your wife/spouse because you are masturbating to shemale porn. That is insane and completely irresponsible and those giving that kind of advice have no clue about relationships.
A marriage is not a piece of paper that you just discard like that.

I agree that you won't be able suppress.

OP keep your wife which I am sure you love and continue to jerk off to shemale porn.
I don't see the harm here.

And I don't understand why someone said that OP broke her trust.
He didn't cheat so what trust did the OP break?
The trust he should be watching straight porn?

[SXFX]

Treating us like a dirty little secret (that you need to confess to, whether you do or don't) is both a huge turn-off and very cringey. Your wife is feeling that too. There's no denying that your little head had some input on this, but in reality the average person feels cucked as fuck finding out their partner gets off on other people. Not sure why you expected anything else.

sorry to grad this off topic....but maybe because i live near NYC.....but women GG women are very threatened by TS women!
It's a visceral angry kind of anger!
I've seen so many fights where the GG woman looses her shit when she is half drunk and bumps into a attractive TS woman....it's scary! ladies be careful! please!

now back to your regularly scheduled story.....

[blackchubby38]

If you go back and look at the OP's initial post, people told him to get a divorce after he told his wife about his interest in transsexuals and because of what her reaction to that confession was going to be. Its not just because he was masturbating to shemale porn. Its because he has a sexual desire and attraction to them that many people feel that he will eventually succumb to and wind up cheating on his wife. When that happens, then he will have truly broken her heart and her trust.

Of course divorce is never easy. But sometimes doing the right thing never is.

My point is you should NEVER divorce your wife/spouse because you are masturbating to shemale porn. That is insane and completely irresponsible and those giving that kind of advice have no clue about relationships.
A marriage is not a piece of paper that you just discard like that.

I agree that you won't be able suppress.

OP keep your wife which I am sure you love and continue to jerk off to shemale porn.
I don't see the harm here.

And I don't understand why someone said that OP broke her trust.
He didn't cheat so what trust did the OP break?
The trust he should be watching straight porn?

Many years ago I was a member here. One day I met a women, I fell in love and requested my account be deleted. I'm now married to that women. She is beautiful, loving and truly irreplaceable. Our sex life has been on the fritz for many years and lately my sex drive has ramp'd up a lot and I started confessing that I want our sex life to be better and more adventurous.

Simple right, Fuck your wife.

No so easy.

Many years ago (6ish) she discovered that I was into Tgirl porn. She was not happy to say the least and I down played it the best I could. She has always been cautious since then (I guess for good reason) and lately my sexual awaking is making her ask questions instead of being excited. She wants the full truth, but I am afraid to tell her as she already calls me a "closet" homo because I don't give her body enough attentions. I am ready to get in front of this, but I don't want to over speak and scare her off.

So this is the truth about my obsession. A warning to the transwomen in the forums, I'm sorry if I come across as some chaser, admirer and/or pig who objectifies Tgirls. I have never got to know a real Tgirl in person, so I apologized for making assumptions. To me you are women inside and out and not just some sex object. These are my deepest sexual desires and feelings on my attraction to Tgirls.

About 12 years ago in my early twenties, I stumbled into Tgirl porn and it blew my mind, since then I have exclusive masturbated to it. In fact I masturbate up to ten times a day on some occasions to Tgirls. There is something about a beautiful women with a hard-on. It seems so genuine to me, I can visibly see she is really turned on, its very exciting. Watching a Tgirl get penetrated by a man or have fellatio performed on her till the point of her ejaculation seems so real and unfakeable. I understand the feeling of having a hard on and the feeling of ejaculating and the though of making a beautiful Tgirl orgasm and ejaculate is absolutely amazing. I feel like it would be more rewarding then going down on a GG. I have read and been told that alot of Tgirls do not want or care for fellatio, but the though of bringing her to orgasm with proof (ejaculating in mouth) seems so empowering and sexy. I also feel a tgirl would better understand a mans penis and the male sex drive. Then there is the possibility of giving her a prostate orgasm and watching the result. There is just something about giving someone sexual pleasure that turns me on and well making someone cum especially a tgirl is like watching fireworks, it simply takes my breath away every time. This overly sexual, my apologies.

I love the idea of sex with a tgirl and do regret not trying it before I met my wife. I was never ok with the idea of an escort because of the legal and health risks. I wish I had the courage to find a nice tgirl and have had a fling with her. If I would of fell in love fine, I was looking for relationship back then anyways. I just didn't have the self confidence back then. Maybe my sexual fantasies are delusional but in my head and loins it just seems so right. The idea of a Tgirl is, is amazing and powerful and puts feelings in my chest that make me quiver.

Unfortunately, my wife while I do love to make love to her and go down on her can't fulfill the fantasy of a Tgirl. I have glamorized Tgirls and put them on a pedestal as the ultimate sexual partner. I feel my desires will never go away and I don't fear that, I only fear that one day I will die without experiencing the pleasures of a Tgirl.

I don't plan on cheating on my wife nor leaving her to experience what I am so obviously obsessed with. I do want to fix our sex life and make her happy. I am willing to come out about this, I am scared and obviously I can not confess how deeply turned on I am by Tgirls as it will make her feel inadequate. Currently I'm starting a No Fap reboot (no porn or masturbation) to try and learn to suppress my desires. I'm not sure what the result of coming clean will produces but if she truly loves me then maybe she will accept it. She may however be crushed and not accept it and put us through a very expensive and painful divorce. Either way she wants to know the truth. Also my wife admits to being Bi but her attitude about men being Bi is rather negative and while I'm ready to admit my attracting to pre-op transsexuals, she will probably consider me a homosexual. I have never been turned on by another man, masculine nor effeminate. The male body just doesn't turn me on. Convince her of that will prove to be a challenge if I tell her I want to perform fellatio on a tgirl.


Any advice or incite will be greatly appreciated.

[gaysian71]

Gaysian71 I love you

Wow!!! Thank you Kelli.

[Ts RedVeX]

I think he broke her trust because I am 100% sure she thinks that either he had cheated on her or is going to do it.

The idea of getting a divorce over a sexual fantasy is just ridiculous and immature.

[kevmart87]

To fill in a few gaps of info:

-Been trans attracted for 12 years.
-Been with my wife for 7 years. 6 years ago she discovered my attraction.
-Lied for the last 6 years that I was over it.
-No kids, she does odd jobs as a military spouse.
-Were together before I enlisted.
-Wife is my first and only lover.
-Wife and I are approaching our mid-30s.

Coming out to my wife was very difficult and it was extremely hard to watch her reaction. In her mind she was married to her perfect man. A kinds, smart, handsome, fit, military officer and she enjoyed perks of traveling around the world and live a very cushy life with a lot of benefits. Over night I went from an "officer and a gentleman" to in her opinion a possible homosexual who only married her so I had arm candy. Her being my first love is a huge problem for her as she feels I felt obligated to marry her and I remained a single virgin till I met her because I was possibly in the closet.

She tells me she crys every night now till the early morning. Her mind is racing with so many thoughts and has no trust for anything I say. Which is warranted. The internet isn't helping as similar story from other angry wife's all end in disasterous ways.

I always though coming out would be liberating instead I traded one pain for a greater one. My wife is so confused and heart broken. It's so painful to see her like this. The worst part is I can't even make her feel secure by promising this will go away, It won't and I'm not going to lie.

My attraction to transwomen (pre-op/non-op) is primal. Sometimes about a girl with a hardon makes want to top them with an animalistic energy. It is something I have felt for no GG and I do get excited for GG but this is different. Thank goodness I'm in control of my urges and have zero game with women, keeps me from making poor decisions. Anyways this won't go away.

[tsluvus]

I think your wife needs to realize she has a good man that even though you have these fantasies/desires you still haven't acted on it.

Perhaps you can go a different route and this might not work for you or her.

My wife is very open sexually.
So the solution we came up with is we will fulfill each other's sexual fantasy with each other present and participating.
And that might work for you.

Take her to a sexually charge environment, like a Swingers club. You don't have to participate, just watch. See her reaction.

You both are in the middle of your sexual peak - Don't waste it.
Find a middle ground, let her act out a fantasy then you act yours.

It will make you both stronger and create a bigger bond.

There is nothing like being able to share you naughty desires with someone you love, makes it more enjoyable.
You will have incredible adventures and the orgasm will be more intense.

I am amazed you were able to hold out this long, it speaks volume in my book of your desire to remain faithful.

Guys have primal instincts that can be difficult to control.

[kevmart87]

I think your wife needs to realize she has a good man that even though you have these fantasies/desires you still haven't acted on it.

Perhaps you can go a different route and this might not work for you or her.

My wife is very open sexually.
So the solution we came up with is we will fulfill each other's sexual fantasy with each other present and participating.
And that might work for you.

Take her to a sexually charge environment, like a Swingers club. You don't have to participate, just watch. See her reaction.

You both are in the middle of your sexual peak - Don't waste it.
Find a middle ground, let her act out a fantasy then you act yours.

It will make you both stronger and create a bigger bond.

There is nothing like being able to share you naughty desires with someone you love, makes it more enjoyable.
You will have incredible adventures and the orgasm will be more intense.

I am amazed you were able to hold out this long, it speaks volume in my book of your desire to remain faithful.

Guys have primal instincts that can be difficult to control.

She does realize that I'm a decent man...

However, shes confused about my sexual orientation. She just cant wrap her mind around a transwomen being a women and not a man. She point blank asked me if I would have sex with a tgirl (not like cheating just in general) I basically said I don't know but after a repeated questioning I just said yes. Honesty is making things worse.... Now she knows my ultimate fantasy and told me I should of married a transgirl and then questioned me If Id try to have a threesome with a trans and if id penetrate them and play with their dick. It was such an awkward conversation. She feel that one day when we have kids and shes busy with the kids and fat that Ill cheat with a transgirl. She thinks my desire to have anal sex with her is trans driven so I can pretend I with a trans women. She asked how id feel if she wore a strap-on while I fucked her and I was like I feel its a bit wired (silly) and she got all mad because I want a real penis.

I just can't say the right thing here.

The only positive thing is her hair dresser is a transwomen and she had a conversation with her today and invited her over and I guess she will get to know a transgirl personally. I feel my wife will confide in this women, it could be good or bad....

She thinks I need to see a therapist, because I suffer from gynemimetophilia. I dont suffer from anything.