Backpage dictionary

[lumberjack]

Private parking available = All my neighbors hanging out in the courtyard will stop what they are doing and watch as you exit the vehicle and make the walk of shame to my apartment
Discreet = see above

[joesocalif]

Backpage is a real blessing, though I understand that a good 1/3 of the ads are possibly police stings.

[CaptainPlanet]

Backpage is a real blessing, though I understand that a good 1/3 of the ads are possibly police stings.

not quite, just horrible scammers and druggies

[joesocalif]

What about the ladyboy parlors are they legit or a rip off

[hamdasl]

Here's a few more:
"Five minutes" = 2 hours
"Freshen up" = take a shit.
"Dinner & a movie" = get laid.
Cheers!

[Lovecox]

Omg, I'm peeing myself! These are all spot on!

[Laphroaig]

I look exactly like my pictures = I did when they were taken 10 years ago.

Don't be fooled by all the fake profiles = be fooled by mine instead

You won't be disappointed = be prepared for a let down

GFE = I talk a lot, but won't actually have sex with you.

At my discretion = no chance (or it'll cost you extra)

No extras = until you're in the room naked, then it's £20 to kiss, £20 for OWO, £50 to cum, etc.

I'm always horny = for your cash.

I'm available 24/7 = until you call me at 2 am in the morning, then you can F**k off!

Shower available = but it will be taken out of your time.

Mens toiletries available to use = whatever freebies the hotel provided or I managed to steal.

Fresh towels available = well, it's nearly dried since the last client used it.

[CoolAwesomeBXDude]

too funny
and accurate

xD

[lumberjack]

Secure parking spot available = my boyfriend will know which car to break into

[flabbybody]

NO NEGOTIATIONS-- except on the first of the month when I'm short rent money