A response I recieved to my HIV thread...

I recently received an email in response to my thread about being HIV positive (This thread is currently locked, prehaps this was why?)

I am not in the habit of posting correspondence, but as it directly sought to speak for the lack of sincerity of everyone whom posted on my thread, I felt it only right that all of you should be allowed a chance to respond to it. If it's comments were purely directed at me, I would not have mentioned it at all. My response to the person, whose email address I will not repost is also listed below, people views on this would be most welcome, especially from all those who orginally posted or replied to me on the orginal thread.

Message read:

hey, I read your thread about being HIV positive and am surprised how you said nothing new about the disease. Am curious why this hasn't affected you enough to give you a personal reaction to the disease. You honestly sounded like you just copy and pasted what you wrote from some book. I hope to see a more genuine post about your status.

Also you choose to disclose this information on HA which, as unfortunate as it is, full of the most moronic human beings in the world. Sorry to tell you this, but every single "appologetic" reply you recieved was incredibly shallow and fake. I don't think you need sympathy- i think you need strength. What you did, as you admitted, was your own fault, so now what you need is retrospect so as to help educate others about the reality of the disease.

Yours Truely,
Henry Fonda's Ghost


My response:

I am sorry you feel that way,
As for it not effecting me personally or having a personal reaction to it, it has changed my whole life upside and seven ways of Sundays, many in ways that I cannot go into.
If you think my comments are copied and pasted from 'Some book' I would be interested to know from which book you refer. If this a generic statement, well there is nothing generic about the illness as if effects every one from different perspectives and issues. I cannot offer any further anaylsis on it other than those of my own experiences, and it would be wrong of me to do so. I was also diagnosed sometime ago, so if I seem less personal about it now, well that is a good thing, several years ago I was a wreck and would not have posted about it anywhere.
As for posting about it on hungangels, I was prompted to do so by the death of a friend of mine, who was on the forum. If you think people's responses to my posting were shallow and fake, well your entitled to believe so, personally I do not think that is the case.
I have spoken to several of them on the phone and have had long correspondence with many others and this has led to some very useful discussions to the benifit of both parties.
Hungangels is primarily a fun site, but many of the people whom post there are very intelligent and have much to say on life. I posted there because I know HIV is a strong issue in the TS community, it was a spur of the moment decision to do it and I nearly did not, but I have no regrets about it and I am glad I did so. I certainly did not do it to seek sympathy and I actually took a great deal of strenght from much of the correspondence I received in private. I learnt to be strong about this awful thing, sometime ago.

On the net you can never see a person as totally white or black, we are, while in this medium all shades of grey.
If none of this makes you think any differently, well there is nothing I can do about that.

Thanks for your message. I think you should post it on the forum.

Az x

PS - I did not say I had AIDS, I said I was HIV positive, there is a big difference.

Azanti,

It's strange that someone should feel that way about the things you wrote and about our responses.

Looking back at that thread, I can only reiterate what I had written and wish you the strength to live a life as full and as happy as you can. I know that you have the strength and courage inside you to continue.

And though I never met you face to face, I thank you for helping me to get to know you a little- I was touched by your PM to me and I feel honoured to consider you as close to a friend as it is possible to be with someone on a forum such as this. You have my respect, my admiration and my warmest wishes.

Cheers LG, I never doubted your honesty for one moment on this issue (Or any other)

I also found chatting with you off forum about it very benifical, your comment about the friendship is mutual (Even if you do have a shrunken muppet head) lol.

I came across this a couple of years ago. This looks like a good place to drop it in. I haven't heard anything about it since. Thought it was interesting though. Not sure if the links still work.


Treatment Turns On Anti-HIV Immunity, Holds AIDS Virus in Check

By Daniel DeNoon


Reviewed By Charlotte Grayson, MD
on Monday, November 29, 2004
WebMD Medical News





Nov. 29, 2004 -- It worked in mice. It worked in monkeys. And now in humans, a therapeutic vaccine has stopped HIV in its tracks.

The vaccine is made from a patient's own dendritic cells and HIV isolated from the patient's own blood. Dendritic cells are crucial to the immune response. They grab foreign bodies in the blood and present them to other immune cells to trigger powerful immune system responses to destroy the foreign invaders.

HIV infection normally turns these important immune system responses off. But animal studies show that when dendritic cells are "loaded" with whole, killed AIDS viruses, they can trigger effective immune responses that keep infected animals from dying of AIDS.

Wei Lu, Jean-Marie Andrieu, and colleagues at the University of Paris in France and Pernambuco Federal University in Recife, Brazil, tested the vaccine on 18 Brazilian patients. All had HIV infection for at least a year. Their T-cell counts -- a crucial measure of AIDS progression -- were dropping, meaning their disease was worsening. None was taking anti-HIV medications.

After getting three under-the-skin injections of the tailor-made vaccine, the amount of HIV in the patients' blood (called the viral load) dropped by 80%. After a year, eight of the 18 patients still had a 90% drop in HIV levels. All patients' T-cell counts stopped dropping.

The findings appear in the December issue of Nature Medicine.

"The results suggest that [these] vaccines could be a promising strategy for treating people with chronic HIV infection," Andrieu and colleagues write. "The significant decrease of viral load as well as maintenance of ... [T-]cell counts observed at one year after immunization are particularly promising."

The researchers warn that their study is only proof of principle. It's still not clear which patients do best with the vaccine, although there's evidence that vaccination should be given as soon after HIV infection as possible. Only clinical trials comparing people who get the vaccine to those who don't can show whether this vaccine really is an effective AIDS therapy.

Similar approaches are being explored for the treatment of cancer and long-term viral infections such as hepatitis C.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SOURCE: Lu, W. Nature Medicine, December 2004, advance online publication.




RELATED LINKS

Study Raises Questions About Oral Sex Safety

Huge Racial Differences Remain in HIV, AIDS

U.N.: ABCs of HIV Prevention Failing Women

Human Test: Novel Vaccine Stops HIV

Read more in the HIV/AIDS Health Center

Looking for support? Visit our AIDS/HIV message board.




© 2004 WebMD Inc. All rights reserved.

This sounds really promising. Hopefully it can be used as a preventative also. The technique might far reaching applicatons throughout the realm of virology.

Sweety I think the mere fact you were so forthright and welcoming not only to support but also ridicule was brave. Even if it is online. It will help educate people. Too many people throw the aids thing around as a way to talk bad about someone or to demean someone.

You are a true sweetheart, and intelligent, from what you write obviously. And it's ridiculous that the person said it was copy and paste and not personal. I think your first post was to the point and very open and honest. And if they feel you didn't do it right, they themselves should write up what or how it should be said.

Kisses Kelly

Azanti, first thanks for PM'ing me about this email reply you received. I cannot fathom why someone would not only attack you in such a manner, but also defame those of us who stood up and expressed our support, solidarity, sympathy, and encouragement for you in that thread. That is a deep insult to both yourself and to all of us.

I looked back at the thread and realized that I was the first to reply, and I kept my reply very brief. Honestly, at the time I felt compelled to express my support and appreciation for your courage, particularly in taking steps to notify people of your status, but I said no more than that as I was at a loss for words (yah, it happens to me sometimes). Then LG, Kelly and others in that thread and here have expressed those thoughts very sincerely and movingly. Shallow? Only as the Pacific Ocean, my friend. Whoever HFG is, he should be deeply shamed.

They say that no good deed goes unpunished.

This would be a classic example of that. You have
altruistically chosen to share a very sensitive and
personal aspect of your life, and this is a response
you get.

I can only wonder at the persons motivations for
making the comment that they have. Perhaps they
miunderstood the tenor and tone of your post.
Perhaps they themselves are experiencing a similiar
difficult situation, and are having a problem coming
to grips with it.

Azanti, I would like to re-iterate my previous sentiments,
and I feel safe in saying that those of us that responded
to your thread feel that you did a very courageous thing,
and that you are to be held in the highest regard for doing
so.

Peg....

Azanti,

You communicate with the written word very well. I suspect this person interpreted this wrongly, hence the copy-paste comment.

Bea

There is perhaps no better reason for someone to have made such comments to you than the simple fact that "idiots abound", as my dad used to frequently say. There are, as we all know, those who witnessing something in others that they themselves lack, try to diminish that person in some pathetic way, clearly evident in this case.

However, people who have sense recognize this sorry attempt to diminish you for what it is, and are no less impressed than they were previously by your courage and resolve. I am certain that even as you continue to hold your head high, the person who wrote that message to you crawls deeper beneath the rock under which he lives, his shame multiplied by each and every response to this very thread.

Continued blessings to you, Azanti.

Azanti,

Do not waste your time giving consideration to the narrow criticisms of lesser men who attack from the shadows without accountability. You, by contrast, have been forthright about your condition and have accepted responsibility for your circumstances. Stay positive and focus on maintaining your health -- and don't forget about that beer.

Regards,
-Quinn

here is what I wrote

Quote:

---

very brave and very noble. if you were here, I'd give you a big hug.

FK

---

Anyone who doubts my sincerity can kiss my ass. Azanti, I say what I mean, and mean what I say, and if you make it to LA, a big hug is waiting for you.

FK

I cannot believe someone would write that...such a vile email.

Azanti, you showed courage posting on here. And of all the places HIV/AIDS needs to be discussed, I put HA right at the top of my list.

As for the person who sent you that email, they are obviously very bitter and resentful about something. But, if they would like, they are free to email me and I can regale them with my beautiful tales of cleaning up the shit and piss of friends and loves and FAMILY members, watching them waste away before my eyes, and having to bury them in a climate where there was so much ignorance and misinformation.

Or maybe we can talk about what I'm doing today in educating people about HIV/AIDS.

Or maybe we can rap about the last few films I wrote about the issue of aids in the transgender community (one of which is being made).

Or maybe we can even talk about big pharma's control of doctors and the media when it comes to truly informing the public.

Or maybe I can just tell him or her to fuck off.

Azanti, you're going to come across all types. If I can give you any advice, it's to ignore the ones like this Henry Fonda's Ghost. They do nothing but suck the positive energy out of people.

The guy who wrote that is the MORON.
Dont listen to him and everyone on here ISNT a moron......most people here are quite smart if you ask me.
HIV is no joke.
I have lost a few friends to the aids virus.
Dont let anyone make you feel like your "less than" because you contracted this virus.
ITS NOT YOUR FAULT@!
Its a virus!
God bless you and be well.

Azanti: What SB just said. I honestly wouldn't have taken the time to respond to this clown. If I had, it would probably read like the following in blue.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Azanti

hey, I read your thread about being HIV positive and am surprised how you said nothing new about the disease. Am curious why this hasn't affected you enough to give you a personal reaction to the disease. You honestly sounded like you just copy and pasted what you wrote from some book. I hope to see a more genuine post about your status.

---

Yeah, yeah, my world of reaction and response revolves around your idea of it. How could I be so blind? And, yes, how could I forget that you -- YOU -- are now the arbiter as to what passes the litmus test in genuineness and sincerity. Forgive me once more, oh grand Poobah.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Azanti

Also you choose to disclose this information on HA which, as unfortunate as it is, full of the most moronic human beings in the world. Sorry to tell you this, but every single "appologetic" reply you recieved was incredibly shallow and fake. I don't think you need sympathy- i think you need strength. What you did, as you admitted, was your own fault, so now what you need is retrospect so as to help educate others about the reality of the disease.

Yours Truely,
Henry Fonda's Ghost

---

Yes, Doctor, who was I to assume that every posting in support of my disclosure wasn't quite "spot on" on the genuineness scale or simply not "feeling it"? Your powers to discipher what's in a poster's heart and mind -- through this medium at that -- are simply astounding to say the least. I should have called on you to screen these frauds for me and present them with a piece of your mind, a mind that would never ignorantly and stupidly paint an entire board all one color. Yep, anyone with half a brain can draw inferences, judgements, and assumptions about the entirety of a person's being via their postings here at Hung Angels. They aren't that different or complex after all. If only I had seen what fakes they were from the getgo. If only the rest of the world would catch on to your shortcut approach to analyzing the world around them. It would make it oh so easy that way. Yeah, they really are the most moronic persons going.

By the way, why are you here if I may ask? ...

This person wasn't worth the time in other words, Azanti. Not a minute. Good luck to you.

:)

Fuck 'em.
[i'd write more but they're not worth it]

Azanti,
No matter what anyone says, someone's going to jump on it. It's ridiculous but that's life. Keep up the fight. And keep having fun on the forum. You're a good guy. And fuck the critics. Toss them a scone with butter and they'll slink away.

Hey Azanti,

I've only skimmed over this to be honest but in a way I think they may have a point from an outsider's perspective. That may not be the reaction you were perhaps looking from me, however there are aspects of it that I don't agree with.

For someone to write that it's just sheer nastiness frankly. I mean, why bother? That's just people for you for you. The personal attack on you I don't agree with. Who are they to judge you!!

Messages like that arrive in my inbox occasionally, and in the heat of the moment it hurts. In time I get over them but it does taint my perspective a little. I think mine come from TVs and certain TSs.

It's rather unhealthy for a person to write that to you focusing on your situation and how you are dealing with it inside. That is your right.

Oh, and they spelt truly wrong.

Chin up,

Aly xx

Alison,

The message didn't hurt me in the least, such things are like water of a ducks back these days, if anything I didn't like someone persuming to speak for the sincerity of others and they deserved the chance to respond to that critism, and respond they have.

I think, as many have been equally brave to state the issue of HIV has affected their life in some way or other, it would certainly appear that a great many of us know someone who has been struck by this condition and in the worse cases as other posters have bravely stated (And I have no doubt about their honesty on that issue) watch them die.

I can assure everyone I am very strong already, in fact I am now dating someone, and have been for several weeks, and that is going very well (Alison and Felica might even have to get a new hat with the way it's going or at least borrow one from Peggy's large collection) time will tell.

Real - great to see you could read between the lines so accurately of my response, lol.

Whatsupwiththat - It is good to hear about the film, certainly not enough of those being made, I am shooting one myself in only a few months time.

On a final note, as much as I am sure we all enjoy the fun topics and sexy 'huge cock' contest pictures on here, it is good that the forum and its posters do take time to discuss other topics of a more serious nature, such as the abuse/assault that occured to Mariam, other health issues, political topics and so on, I am sure Allanah would agree that such things are important to talk about as much as anything else, and more often than not the tone of people's posts changes a great deal when they discuss such things seriously. In any forum, anywhere on the net, they're are always odd people, and others whom just like to wind each other up. Here is no exception, but if you go and join a bowling club or a little league, you will get exactly the same mix of people, that is part of life, once you except that, well you don't really worry about it. On here, I never worry about it because once I turn the computer off, it's not there, and if someone pesters me with abusive communication, the delete key is a wonderful thing as is selective blocking.

Thanks for all the comments and support, the voice of democracy is alive and kicking.

Truly (Yeah I spotted that as well but was being polite about it)

Azanti

i am fairly new to the forum and do not know many people on here. but i agree with all by the fact that you were brave enough to admit such a personal and private thing and you did this out of trust of the people on here whom out of the people i have conversed with in threads quite a few that i know of are very helpful and understanding. for some one to e-mail you about the subject and say such things is down right disgusting. you took the time to write about it which i am sure was not an easy subject to write about and they go and do that. not only disrespecting you but our fellow forum members. it goes to show they are cowardice and probably would not admit they said it on the forum.

i myself am an open minded and open hearted person and my friendship goes out to anyone that choose to accept it. Keep yourself strong and remember there are people who do really care about you around you all the time who will give you the support you deserve. as Quinn and LG have stated, stay strong and keep your focus on maintaining your health and ignore people who have the maturity of a 4 year old to write such nonsense.

Best Regards,

Trauma

Sorry I should have mentioned this earlier, the link to the original thread for anyone whom did not see it before, this thread is now locked, I sm still not quite sure why.

http://www.hungangels.com/board/view...=18919&start=0