Think we might be in the minority with that one! :dead-1:
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why do farmers fuck sheep at the edge of a cliff?
so the sheep will push back.
A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted a man standing alone.
She sidled up to him and said, "My name is Carmen"
"Beautiful name" the man replied.
"Yes, I gave it to myself as it reflects my two most favorite things.....cars and men...Whats your name"?
"BEERCUNT"!
One fine Sunday morning, a teenage boy walked into his father's study and asked,
"Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?"
"Why yes!" his father exclaimed with a wide smile, "it was glorious! Have you just had your first?"
"Yeah," said the son, "how did yours taste?"
I think i messed up my blind date last night.
During the meal she asked me, "Whats your pet hate?"
I said, "It doesn't like my cock up its arse"!
A little girl is lost in Liverpool Tescos and is really upset and crying.
The security guard comes over and says "Eh, don't cry, we'll find your mummy. Now tell me, what's she like?"
The little girl looks up with tear filled eyes and says "Big cocks and vodka"
2 rednecks discussing their teenage daughters
"How 'bout your'n...is she sexually active?"
"Naahh...she pretty much just lays there jes like her mother"
I walked into the Bedroom and caught my Nan Sucking Grandads Cock.
I said "Nan that's disgusting".
She replied " It's perfectly normal".
I said " No...IT'S FUKKIN WRONG...You should have buried it with the rest of him"!
Two English tourists are driving thru wales.
They stop for lunch in Llanfairpwlgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllantysiliogo gogoch.
One of them asks the waitress" Could you settle an argument? Can you pronounce where we are, very very slowly?"
The girl leans over and says "Burrrr-gerrrr-Kiiing"!
Cant believe how realistic these new 3D tv's are.
I fell asleep watching a Liverpool game, and when i woke up my fucking wallet was gone!