My Thai Wife left me for no reason.
She`ll be back, with her tail between her legs.
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My Thai Wife left me for no reason.
She`ll be back, with her tail between her legs.
Stacey is walking down the street...strutting her new hips, fantastic boobs and fluffing her luscious blonde tresses.
Frankie, her old friend, walks up and says, "Wow, Stacey, you look amazing. You've had a ton of improvements...and you look great as a blonde."
"yeah, but it hurt like hell," Stacey said.
"Really, was it when they cut your chest open and put in those massive implants?" Frankie asked.
"No, that didn't hurt."
"Was it when they inverted your sac to create, what I can only imagine is a glorious vagina?" Frankie questioned.
"No, it wasn't that either," Stacey said.
"Well what was it?" Frankie stated with a bewildered look.
"It was when the doctor drilled a hole in my head and sucked out 1/2 of my brain."
Whenever my Dad takes a picture he always says, "Smile for the Dickie Bird".
Surely I should be looking at him and not his Thai bride.
I met these beautiful Thai birds in a club last night.
We really hit it off and eventually I plucked up the courage to asked them back to my place. Things were going really well but when they started stripping I had the shock of my life.
They had vaginas.
I was sitting opposite a really cute Thai girl on the train today.. I was thinking 'don't get an erection, don't get an erection, don't get an erection'.. but then, she did ;)
A man wearing a balaclava bursts into a sperm bank with a shot gun. "Open the fucking safe!" he yells at the girl behind the counter.
"But we're not a real bank" replies the girl. "This is a sperm bank, we don't hold money".
"Don't fukkin argue just open the safe or I'll blow your fucking head off!"
She obliges and opens the safe door.
"Take one of the bottles and drink it!"
"But it's full of sperm" the girl replies nervously.
"Don't argue, just drink it" he says.
She prises off the cap and gulps it down.
"Take out another one and drink it too!" he demands.
The girl drinks another one. Suddenly the guy pulls off the balaclava and to the girl's amazement it's her husband ...
"See, it's not that fucking difficult, is it?" he says.
What's blue and fucks trannys?
Me in my lucky blue anorak.
Bloke necks a quadruple whisky in one.
Barman says whats up.
Bloke says "came home early to find my wife shagging my best friend.
What did you do asks the barman.
Bloke says "I told her to pack her bags and fuck off"
What about your best friend asks the barman.
"I looked him straight in the eye and said BAD DOG NO BISCUITS"!