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View Full Version : An old question about girls I don't understand.



Trogdor
09-06-2006, 12:24 PM
This is something that happens alot to me, but I'll give the worst cases I went through:

2002:

I knew a girl who worked at a store I worked in a year prior. I met her just before I left and she was up my alley, tall, thin, cute redhead. Plus she was a sexy goth, but one of the friendly ones without a gloomy disposition. She recently broke up with this jackass she was dating, she told me he treated her like crap, never paid attention to her, you get the idea. Anyhow, we talked alot, and we did alot of instant messaging and we got along quite well.

We both were not seeing anyone ( was a good few years since I had a date at the time this was happening ) and I suggested why not we arrange a time to go on a date. She was really digging that idea. This was around Febuary and about midway through the month we had free time ( ironic around Valentine's, huh? :lol: ) and anyhow I was getting psyched up for this. And since ole V-day was right around the corner, I grabbed a flower and a cute lil stuffed bear to give her as a lil gift. I get to the store the night we were planning to go out with. I wait about 20 minutes and I see her comming, just having ended her shift and I smile and walk to her, ready to present my gifts and she says to me, " Neil, I gotta tell you something."

"Oh, great," I thought to myself, "this can not be good." So we walk to the doors and sure enough, the worst was it. She told me, "Neil, you've been very nice to me, you're very sweet and handsome, but......I am kinda/sorta seeing someone now." ( Why do you girls use kinda/sorta when stuff like this happens? Do you get kinda/sorta pregnent? No, of course not. And to any younger guys reading.....when a girl says ''kinda/sorta'', it means yes she is doing whatever she is saying. )

"Oh smegging hell," I thought, "ok, calm down, dude. She's a good looking babe, it's no shock someone would wanna stay a stab at her." I ask her who it is she is seeing now. And she said, "I'm seeing Brandon." Now you are asking yourself "who's Brandon?" Brandon is the jerk she broke up with earlier, the same asshole that treated her so badly. It seemed she's given the rectum-faced pigmy another chance.

So what do I do? She said, " I'm so sorry, neil." And I said, "Indeed," and calmly walked away and tossed the flowers and the bear into the trash can and left the store.


And wanna know what happened to the girl now? Well, about 2 years ago, a buddy of mine who works there told me, "Neil, you know that girl you tried to go out with and who went back to that dude who treated her bad?" I said, "yea, what about her, man?" He told me, "That guy she went back to got her knocked-up. And he skipped town when he found out."

If that girl is reading this..........


You go, girl. :roll:


Now another girl I knew who lives in Gerogia was having a long distence relationship with me for several years. She looked like that short haired hottie from that VIP show Pamela did. Anyhow, she was bi and I was the first guy she liked really. We talked alot on voice chat and that kinda stuff. We were talking about seeing each other. We agreed that January 2003 would be the best time. I had alot of free time since the work I was at closed for the season, and I could get other work once I came back from seeing her. Anyhow, that summer and autum I was saving every dollar I made and had a nice chunk saved up. The week I was ready to see her, she went online and I started our ususal chat. Now I can tell when something's up and began working my way through the talking and got to the subjact where she moved out of her mom's home and with someone named Stacy. Now she's bi, like I said and thought she moved in with some girl she probably met. Well, turned out Stacy was a man and a guy in the army ( This girl told me she wanted to get into the millitary one day, it was something she really wanted to do ) And I asked her, "Well, what about me? I mean is all that we did over the past couple of years all done for now?" And she said, "yea, I guess so.....sorry." Well, I learn later she never got into the millitary and doubt she will now, since she put on a good chunk of weight after going on birth control recently and it seems she pulled this stunt on a girl both me and her know as well. this other girl did not take it as well as I did, and I myself tried to get as drunk as hell to mellow myself and wash the anger outta my mind. 2 bottles of wine later, I was not even buzzed.....seems I am a guy who can really hold his liquer.


Anyhow, I keep wondering what is it with girls pulling stunts like this.

And why, tell me WHY, these girls who say, "I want a nice man ( or girl in some cases ) who will treat me good.", but end up going or returning to a bunch of "bad boys", "bad asses", and such despite having been treated like crap by these guys. And if they did it once, they go back to these guys, just like a beaten wife.

I remember in high school, I had to play the role of dr. phil to girls I liked. I had to listen to them blubbing about their guys, "he dont pay attention to me," "he treats me like shit," "when he goes down on me, he does not pay attention to me needs." I hated when girls discuseed their sex lives with me. :x And after all that, they always go, "you're such a nice guy, you've been so sweet and kind to me. I wish more guys were like you." And one time, upon hearing this, I took a chance and went, "Well, I am not seeing anyone, how about I take you out this weekend, maybe catch a movie, get some dinner, it might be fun. :D " And the girl just smiles and goes, "Oh you. You're sweet and handsome and all, but can't we just be friends? I'd hate to risk ruining what we have right now." I always wondered why do these girls say they want a certain someone and that you are practically the prototype of what they want and yet don't want to have anything to do with you. And these are girls I've known since childhood. Is it not logical that someone you've known for years and can trust anything with them not be the most logical choice?

And what is it with these 'bad asses' that they want so badly anyhow? And why are guys from no name rock bands, espeically drummers, who will never make name for themselves, get the good stuff as well? Same thing with these guys who start trouble, just for the sake of starting a fight. And why do girls who say the above mentioned friends stuff seem to think that those guys they meet in the bars, who probably got some past criminal record, would be better material. And how is being just a friend much more rewarding and better than being the guy who's dating her, doing stuff with her and getting into her thong......I just can't see it anymore.

So can you girls answer me on this kinda stuff? Or am I just fucked up in the head or something? :?: Cause I am getting real close to tossing in the towel and going celebate all togather. Cause I can not tell you how much time, eoffort, money and emotional smeg I wasted since begining of high school to pretty much now.

Thanks for any help. :D

LCF
09-06-2006, 12:37 PM
That's a question some guys have been asking for their entire lives man.

Personally, I think it has to do with natural instinct from thousands of years of evolution. Women want strong men who can protect their young, have a healthy offspring, and overall have an alpha male personality. Nice guys, for the most part, do not exhibit traits that would show the woman these facets of themselves. It can also be a emotional dependence/ Cyclical things. Emotions are addictive, even the bad ones, a lot of the time we are attracted to people who make us feel a way our body wants us too. Case in point, victimized little girls often grow up to marry men just like their father and continue their own abuse.

And there is nothing worse than being lodged into the friend category haha. You usually to make sure that the girl knows your intentions whenever you start a friendship or whatever. It's not that the girl wouldn't know anyways, but if you tell them at the beginning they can't pretend like they didn't notice later.

dgtlmstry
09-06-2006, 12:53 PM
I have to agree 100% with LCF. Those two main reasons are exactly what I was thinking. (It's actually kind of creepy LCF, have you been in my head? lol) Anyway, I think we (guys) have all gone through this at some point or another. IMO, you should just be honest with YOURSELF. If you see that she is in fact attracted to these kinds of people, then be her friend, but don't put any extra energy in trying to 'make her yours'. Move on, because you wouldn't want to be with someone like that anyway. In the end, if you did get her she'd probably cheat on you lol
You might even find that once you do move on with your own serious relationship, she will take more of an interest in you...then you'll be the one to say "Oh you. You're sweet...but can't we just be friends? I'd hate to risk ruining what we have right now."

Score one for the guys ;-)

Dgtl

dgtlmstry
09-06-2006, 12:55 PM
Wow, it just occured to me that I might be the 'oldest' rookie poster on this site lol. I've been here since 02 and have only 36 posts haha

Dgtl

goldtop
09-06-2006, 02:18 PM
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

dgtlmstry
09-06-2006, 02:48 PM
Awesome link goldtop...thanks!

Dgtl

greenkb
09-06-2006, 05:43 PM
:lol: story of my life :lol:

Women need bastards as boyfriends/husbands. I reckon it must stems back from when were cavemen. :lol: I'm always getting introduced to women either via work colleagues or family, the outcome is always the same "you're really a nice guy but................"

Hey, Trogdor. when you get round to the stage where you're putting up shelves, bedroom furniture and in one case fitting a bathroom suite. STOP and THINK, is this really worth if for a bit of skirt???!!!

Oooo! I wonder if there were caveman tgirls???

Trogdor
09-06-2006, 05:59 PM
oh, trust me. If these girls who consider me a friend only wants me to move furnature for em, I tell em, "Move em yourself, bitch." or "Let your rock and roller boyfriend move em for yeas........he could use some excercise"

I am just waiting to see some of the bitches loose a tooth or something else from these guys, then I can have that, "see? I told yas so." feeling. :lol:

chefmike
09-06-2006, 06:22 PM
Not to over-simplify, cliche or not... but when in doubt, treat a lady like a whore and a whore like a lady...

BeardedOne
09-06-2006, 07:32 PM
Not to over-simplify, cliche or not... but when in doubt, treat a lady like a whore and a whore like a lady...

I like that one. Now, if I only could find a lady locally. :twisted:

Thanks for posting that experience again, Trogdor. Reminds me why I'm a hermit.

On flowers and bears: Flowers, like most relationships, don't last very long and, all too frequently, die within a day. If you wanna go the nature route, give her a subscription to Better Gardens or something.

As for the bear, I would've kept it. You can always re-gift something like that, or sit the cute li'l guy next to your lucky dating shirt as a reminder not to get too wound up over these things.

Better yet, get or make a Dismembear. They can at least be useful when a date goes down the sewer before the appetizer is served. Created by a woman from Michigan back in the 80's they are cutesy little teddy bears that go a step further than the usual Dammit Doll: You can literaly tear them limb from limb and, when feeling remorseful later, they pop back together until they are needed for your next round of rage. The original design came up short, though. People frequently yanked the ears off first and they had not been made for that purpose.

As for the I-like-you-as-a-friend-but mantra (Not to be confused with the party line: "I like your friend's butt"), I think I have it branded into my forehead, preceded by the basic instruction "Say this to him first".

A few years back, as I was beginning to recover from the breakdown triggered by my last 'lover', a longtime GG friend started to make some serious overtures that were pretty straightforward (Not the usual schizophrenic, game-playing, use-your-psychic-abilities-to-decipher, psycho bullshit). She actually spelled out her intentions in a couple of letters and emails, so as to leave no doubt in my mind what she wanted/needed from me. It got to the point that, at one dinner with a group of mutual friends, she all but humped my leg right there in the restaurant (And I think there was a running bet at the table that she'd do just that, her intentions were so obvious).

Unfortunately for her, I had suffered so much mental and emotional damage from the breakdown (And its years full of contributory causes and individuals) that I had no interest in being with anyone at the time. So, it was with no small amount of cruel satisfaction that I was able to utter the words "I like you as a friend, but...". Much to her credit, she took the blow-off rather well, smiling and asking "Which friend?". :lol:

She couldn't have been too hurt or, for that matter, all that seriously interested in me in the first place (No matter how much her panties weeped in my presence) as a short time later she went off and got herself all married up (*Whew!* Another bullet dodged!). There has been conjecture that I had been scheduled as the 'last fling'. Lovely. All she really wanted was to ride my dick a bit and then ditch me. Though she at least made her initial intentions crystal clear. Pretty much like all of her predecessors, who forever kept their intentions shrouded in pointless code. :x

Feh. :P As for the ones that prefer the company of ignorant, abusive, sadistic morons, there's one simple reference: Kharmic justice. :evil:

Trogdor
09-18-2006, 11:26 AM
Lovely. All she really wanted was to ride my dick a bit and then ditch me. Though she at least made her initial intentions crystal clear.

Even that would better than my situations now. Least you're getting something.


Feh. :P As for the ones that prefer the company of ignorant, abusive, sadistic morons, there's one simple reference: Kharmic justice. :evil:

It's called Whitney Houstan Syndrome.

Trogdor
09-18-2006, 11:48 AM
Hmmm, it would really be interesting on hearing responces from the girls on this topic, would it not? :-?