Forget the Plane Stay Out of the Kitchen..A True Story

[DJ_Asia]

I have a pretty cool place in Thailand.I live on a small tropical island,up on a hillside,across the road from the beach,lovely view...pretty sweet.Behind the house is dense tropical jungle that is loaded with streams and waterfalls and all sorts of fun stuff...looks like it came straight out of a Viet Nam war movie.

Occasionally though the jungle spits out unwelcome guests.For instance..

Two months ago I was stumbling around in my kitchen trying to make some coffee in a pre caffeine stupor when I heard a hissing sound coming from atop the water cooler and turned to see a bright green snake about 18" from me coiled and ready to pump a little venom into my face.I set a world record in backwards and to the side jumping and quickly got my phone.
I called the island snake collector and he came over and removed the green bastard from my house and informed me it was a Golden Tree Snake...a semi venomous snake capable of gliding from tree to tree...great a flying green snake!!!

So yesterday when I again went to make coffee and saw yet another snake in my kitchen,this time doing the two step across the floor,it wasnt such a shock.So again I called the snake guy and again he came over,however this snake wasnt a little green snake that thinks he's a bird...nope...not so lucky this time....
Snake guy announces proudly in his best British accent..."OOHHH WOW!! This is amazing....

A lovely KING COBRA !!!!!!

Im like WTF..so he showed it to me,and yup damn near stepped on the largest and one of the deadliest poisonous snake in the world...who BTW can kill elephants with a single strike!

Morale of the story: Love your local TS photographer..we are risking our lives out here!

DJ Asia

[BeardedOne]

Zoiks! :shock:

I had a snake drop onto my desk one day when I was working in an office of a building that backed up to a hillside (So it's not impossible for one to get onto the roof, through a vent, and down into the drop ceiling). I didn't think much about it and grabbed him back o' the head while he was still trying to suss out where he had fallen. Took him out back and tossed him home. The girls in the outer office were a little disturbed at my nonchalantly walking by with a snake in my hands, which made it a bit funny. :)

I'm in the mid-Atlantic US so we're not overrun with the poisonous variety here, but on reflection, I have no idea what kind or how dangerous this one was. It was black and slithery and had rudely interupted my afternoon.

[AllanahStarrNYC]

Well thank Gos the story ended up that way- I don't want to be a widow!!!!

[suckseed]

When I was about 4 a snake appeared outside my house. My mom and sister were so freaked out I ran up to the patio door to see, just in time to see this long black snake go past the glass door at a fairly rapid clip. For the longest time I thought snakes could move faster than one could run away from them. They can't can they? :|

[BeardedOne]

For the longest time I thought snakes could move faster than one could run away from them. They can't can they?

Depends on the snake, the ground, and how fast you can run from a standing start. :)

I'm down along an intracoastal waterway, so we see our fair share of slinkys around here. I've seen them zip across a flat road surface about as fast as a car might move down a driveway (10 MPH +/-), but I don't know if that's a speed they can maintain or if they're just scootin' outta the way of traffic. :)

[rvince]

Good thing you have a "snake collector" around... I'm not even sure we have one here...

[hollysweet]

WOW that's scary I don't have a snake problem I have a damn spider one I have seen 4 black widows in my house now since I have moved to Vegas and I hate spiders but I've had my condo sprayed and taken care of but they all say the same thing this is Vegas and it is full of spiders like that so time to move back to Chicago where there are no bugs lol well take it easy make sure allahanas not there when you find a snake I don't think any girl would like that ... you'll take care

[blckhaze]

wow. ive always wanted to see a cobra, but never THAT close. Thankfully your ok. there are dozen of stories liek that with scorpions, spiders, and snakes ending with bad results, especially in that part fo the world.

[WendyWilliams]

DJ you really really should try and find out how these snakes are getting in LOL,,,,,I would be duct taping, boarding, gluing LOL everything that remotely looks like a hole LOL

Glad you are ok.

[happyjack]

hey DJ,you spent 2 weeks with Allanah in paradise and all w get is some snake story?no offense,but i was looking for something a little more interesting.Like maybe you saved Allanahs life from the python and she was so grateful she....

[DJ_Asia]

We have pythons here too.
When I was in my 20's (way back near the turn of the century) I used to keep snakes as pets,pythons,king snakes...even had a foul tempered Southern Pacific Rattler named Reggie,and a sidewinder too,but the northern hemisphere doesnt have anything nearly as deadly as the King Cobra,which grow to 18 feet(imagine a basketball hoop is @ 10 feet,,,now add 8 more feet!!!)...I finally outgrew my odd hobby and moved onto a much safer pasttime,saltwater aquariums...
The one in my house was a baby,but nature has a way of letting the young survive and the baby cobras venom is actually MORE toxic then the adults,as they cannot deliver the volume of venom as when they get bigger.
Oddly I just saw another tree snake in my mango tree on my porch like 30 minutes ago....seems the snakes are feeling randy this week...

As far as my 2 weeks with Allanah...I did in fact wrestle with a pretty big Cuban Panty snake the whole time.

DJ Asia

[hwbs]

i had a friend who was bitten by an asian cobra on the thumb they had to airlift him 80 miles to get the anti-venom.......only thing was that it was a pet of his..... he got a nice 35000$ bill in the mail for that one...they had to skin graft skin from his leg to replace his thumb.

[DJ_Asia]

DJ you really really should try and find out how these snakes are getting in LOL,,,,,I would be duct taping, boarding, gluing LOL everything that remotely looks like a hole LOL

Glad you are ok.

Wendy how are ya??
You never really know what life outside the states is like until you actually do it.I have been here for nearly 2 damn years and I cant get a screen door made to save my life,so the doors front and sliding are open pretty much 24/7 except when I sleep,so they just mosey right on in.I guess I should remove the neon "Deadly snakes Welcome Come on In" sign down.
Other fun things that are part of life on a small island in Thailand are lightbulbs that have a maximum lifespan of 2 months,electricity that fails at least once a week,internet that costs over 100.00 USD per month, that is slow as hell,and fails several times daily....I could go on and on,but I will spare ya the details...poor Allanah gets to hear about it all day anyways...lol...Heres a pic of the tree snake i saw this AM in the papaya tree on my porch..not a cobra but thats just fine by me if I dont see another...sorry about the size...fresh out of the cam

DJ Asia