AllanahStarrNYC
09-02-2006, 01:08 AM
Recently, I have seen many topics on the board regarding relationships with transsexuals or asking advice thereof.
Speaking from someone who has been involved a few times in her life, and who has gone through many different relationship obstacles and disasters, and someone who has, by choice, remained single for most of her adult life for various reasons-I want to share with you a something I wrote for my monthly article on my website.
It's a personal testament that you really never know that is going to come your way, however different it might be. It's my own personal testament on expecting the unexpected and regaining faith in what you once thought to be impossible.
It's a little story of a little curve ball I caught this year....
Sometimes we find love in the most unexpected times or places. I know that sounds like a cheap cliche, but I know it is true because I have lived it. When I first started talking to my boyfriend DJ we shared an instant chemistry that felt like we had known each other for years. Actually we knew each other indirectly for about four years. We had some contact four years ago but I was then involved with the spawn of Satan, also known as my ex-boyfriend, so it was a very brief acquaintance. When we communicated again, it was at a transitional time in my life, when the last thing on my mind was having a boyfriend or a relationship; in fact, I was dead set against it. But there was something about DJ that made me open up very quickly to him; a rare occurrence for me. DJ had an understanding, a special intellect, and made me feel much more comfortable than any man had done so in a very long time. Like many modern romances today, we met on the Internet. He emailed me through MySpace and by chance I opened and answered his email (keep in mind that I get SO much email on MySpace that it is impossible to open and answer all of them unless I devoted my entire day to MySpace-and I think my assistant would quit if I asked him to take on that responsibility). Our initial exchanges were purely platonic and of a business matter, but we soon found each other having a deeper connection and talking of very intimate matters. Before I realized it, I was talking to him for hours daily and he quickly became a part of my daily routine. We had become friends, but above all, I had begun to fall in love with him. I know that both of us did not have romantic intentions initially, but it worked out that way. I was however quite hesitant about falling in love an attempting to embark on a romance due to the many circumstances that surrounded us. Don't get me wrong, I had very strong feelings developing for DJ, but I had been very unlucky at love and like most people who have been hurt, trust was an issue. I hate to sound like another cliche'; but for a transsexual girl in my business, it's very hard to find a good, honest partner who is well balanced and comfortable with his own skin and who he is, as well as comfortable with what I am and what I do for a living. It takes a certain level of maturity and understanding that is very uncommon. I always wanted to find a guy that was smart, funny, good looking, sweet, affectionate, caring, and was interested in me not only for what I had in between my legs but someone who could get passed that and love me for the person I am. Someone who was willing to accept the good and bad aspects of my personality and saw me as an actual person and not a glorified sex doll. With DJ, I found that and much more. I consider myself very lucky even though a lot of my friends thought it was a bit crazy to fall in love with someone that lives half way across the world. But I indeed I traveled half way across the world and found the love I once hesitated upon. I know it's hard to believe but there came a point that I was completely sure of it and him. Call me crazy, but I was very sure. I know this is starting to sound like a plot for some romantic comedy but it is all true. Sure, being in a long distance relationship is very hard at times but we make the best of it.It takes a lot of trust, understanding, and patience, which must be earned, in order for it to work. Those are three things that I have discovered I have much more of than I could ever imagine. That is mainly because loving DJ is effortless in so many ways. I cannot lie though, I miss him terribly most of the time and much rather wished that he lived in the same city, state, or country rather than a 17 hour plane ride away. It is difficult and frustrating at times, but we are making it work and he is well worth it.
I just got back from visiting DJ in Thailand where we spent a couple of days in Bangkok and 12 days in Koh Samui. It was really such a lovely trip that I am still on a high from it. DJ arranged our stay at a very beautiful resort in Samui that was worthy of a wonderful honey moon. It was a honey moon of sorts as we did do things but we did spend most of the time in our villa :D . Samui is really a beautiful island and the beach views are spectacular. Everyone pretty much gets around on scooters, which freaked me out a first since I am terrified of driving in general and especially scooters and motor cycles. Yeah, I know it is silly- DJ makes fun of me cause I don't mind flying at all, or getting plastic surgery, but riding in the back of his scooter caused me a few moments of anxiety and sweaty palms. We did manage to leave the bed a few times and got to do a lot of things like watch a really interesting (and I really mean INTERESTING) Thai magician perform a really bizarre act that included eating sticks of incense to a loop of Ricky Martin's 'Living La Vida Loca' (which played about 20 times during the course of the performance) proceeded by a number of failed tricks, I got felt up by a bunch of Lady Boys in NaNa Plaza- since apparently Thai people are much more 'touchy feel' than Americans are , and the size of my boobs were a big attraction pretty much everywhere we went, we watched season 2 of Lost (which was really, really good- yea DJ turned me into a Lost addict), we went to the beach, swam in our private pool, had massages, went around the island, watched movies, saw some elephants, and just did a bunch of low key things together (which was great!). We also saw the mummified Monk at one of the temples in Samui, which is like this big mystery- how his body has preserved that is. The only creepy part of it is that the only part of the monk that decomposed were his eyes and they have him placed in a glass booth, dressed traditionally, in a sitting position, with these really big 'Ray Charles' looking glasses on his head which really, really is kinda freaky. Gotta love a mummy with sunglasses on . I actually miss Samui, and the weather, and all of its idiosyncrasies .Such as the crazy Thai Boxing truck that goes around the island announcing the matches in a broken English message that repeats constantly. Funny how some annoying things can become endearing and associated with good memories. Above all, I miss DJ and the way he makes me laugh all the time. I miss sitting in the shallow water with him and being lazy. I miss being goofy for him. I miss watching him sleep. Only he knows how much of a dork I really am :).
I guess that you do sometimes have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince. I guess that I am not as cynical as I once thought I was. I guess that no matter how much I have been hurt, or damaged by broken love in the past, deep down I am a hopeless optimist when it comes to love. I guess that I can let go get on that once dreaded scooter and let someone else drive and trust them completely . And I guess it feels pretty damn good to do so.
Oh and for those of you who have been concerned that I am retiring from my work, films, career, and business endeavors, I have no plans to do so just yet. I hate to break it to you, but you are stuck with me for a little while longer. When I am ready to go, I will make sure that you are the first to know.
All best,
Allanah *
Speaking from someone who has been involved a few times in her life, and who has gone through many different relationship obstacles and disasters, and someone who has, by choice, remained single for most of her adult life for various reasons-I want to share with you a something I wrote for my monthly article on my website.
It's a personal testament that you really never know that is going to come your way, however different it might be. It's my own personal testament on expecting the unexpected and regaining faith in what you once thought to be impossible.
It's a little story of a little curve ball I caught this year....
Sometimes we find love in the most unexpected times or places. I know that sounds like a cheap cliche, but I know it is true because I have lived it. When I first started talking to my boyfriend DJ we shared an instant chemistry that felt like we had known each other for years. Actually we knew each other indirectly for about four years. We had some contact four years ago but I was then involved with the spawn of Satan, also known as my ex-boyfriend, so it was a very brief acquaintance. When we communicated again, it was at a transitional time in my life, when the last thing on my mind was having a boyfriend or a relationship; in fact, I was dead set against it. But there was something about DJ that made me open up very quickly to him; a rare occurrence for me. DJ had an understanding, a special intellect, and made me feel much more comfortable than any man had done so in a very long time. Like many modern romances today, we met on the Internet. He emailed me through MySpace and by chance I opened and answered his email (keep in mind that I get SO much email on MySpace that it is impossible to open and answer all of them unless I devoted my entire day to MySpace-and I think my assistant would quit if I asked him to take on that responsibility). Our initial exchanges were purely platonic and of a business matter, but we soon found each other having a deeper connection and talking of very intimate matters. Before I realized it, I was talking to him for hours daily and he quickly became a part of my daily routine. We had become friends, but above all, I had begun to fall in love with him. I know that both of us did not have romantic intentions initially, but it worked out that way. I was however quite hesitant about falling in love an attempting to embark on a romance due to the many circumstances that surrounded us. Don't get me wrong, I had very strong feelings developing for DJ, but I had been very unlucky at love and like most people who have been hurt, trust was an issue. I hate to sound like another cliche'; but for a transsexual girl in my business, it's very hard to find a good, honest partner who is well balanced and comfortable with his own skin and who he is, as well as comfortable with what I am and what I do for a living. It takes a certain level of maturity and understanding that is very uncommon. I always wanted to find a guy that was smart, funny, good looking, sweet, affectionate, caring, and was interested in me not only for what I had in between my legs but someone who could get passed that and love me for the person I am. Someone who was willing to accept the good and bad aspects of my personality and saw me as an actual person and not a glorified sex doll. With DJ, I found that and much more. I consider myself very lucky even though a lot of my friends thought it was a bit crazy to fall in love with someone that lives half way across the world. But I indeed I traveled half way across the world and found the love I once hesitated upon. I know it's hard to believe but there came a point that I was completely sure of it and him. Call me crazy, but I was very sure. I know this is starting to sound like a plot for some romantic comedy but it is all true. Sure, being in a long distance relationship is very hard at times but we make the best of it.It takes a lot of trust, understanding, and patience, which must be earned, in order for it to work. Those are three things that I have discovered I have much more of than I could ever imagine. That is mainly because loving DJ is effortless in so many ways. I cannot lie though, I miss him terribly most of the time and much rather wished that he lived in the same city, state, or country rather than a 17 hour plane ride away. It is difficult and frustrating at times, but we are making it work and he is well worth it.
I just got back from visiting DJ in Thailand where we spent a couple of days in Bangkok and 12 days in Koh Samui. It was really such a lovely trip that I am still on a high from it. DJ arranged our stay at a very beautiful resort in Samui that was worthy of a wonderful honey moon. It was a honey moon of sorts as we did do things but we did spend most of the time in our villa :D . Samui is really a beautiful island and the beach views are spectacular. Everyone pretty much gets around on scooters, which freaked me out a first since I am terrified of driving in general and especially scooters and motor cycles. Yeah, I know it is silly- DJ makes fun of me cause I don't mind flying at all, or getting plastic surgery, but riding in the back of his scooter caused me a few moments of anxiety and sweaty palms. We did manage to leave the bed a few times and got to do a lot of things like watch a really interesting (and I really mean INTERESTING) Thai magician perform a really bizarre act that included eating sticks of incense to a loop of Ricky Martin's 'Living La Vida Loca' (which played about 20 times during the course of the performance) proceeded by a number of failed tricks, I got felt up by a bunch of Lady Boys in NaNa Plaza- since apparently Thai people are much more 'touchy feel' than Americans are , and the size of my boobs were a big attraction pretty much everywhere we went, we watched season 2 of Lost (which was really, really good- yea DJ turned me into a Lost addict), we went to the beach, swam in our private pool, had massages, went around the island, watched movies, saw some elephants, and just did a bunch of low key things together (which was great!). We also saw the mummified Monk at one of the temples in Samui, which is like this big mystery- how his body has preserved that is. The only creepy part of it is that the only part of the monk that decomposed were his eyes and they have him placed in a glass booth, dressed traditionally, in a sitting position, with these really big 'Ray Charles' looking glasses on his head which really, really is kinda freaky. Gotta love a mummy with sunglasses on . I actually miss Samui, and the weather, and all of its idiosyncrasies .Such as the crazy Thai Boxing truck that goes around the island announcing the matches in a broken English message that repeats constantly. Funny how some annoying things can become endearing and associated with good memories. Above all, I miss DJ and the way he makes me laugh all the time. I miss sitting in the shallow water with him and being lazy. I miss being goofy for him. I miss watching him sleep. Only he knows how much of a dork I really am :).
I guess that you do sometimes have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince. I guess that I am not as cynical as I once thought I was. I guess that no matter how much I have been hurt, or damaged by broken love in the past, deep down I am a hopeless optimist when it comes to love. I guess that I can let go get on that once dreaded scooter and let someone else drive and trust them completely . And I guess it feels pretty damn good to do so.
Oh and for those of you who have been concerned that I am retiring from my work, films, career, and business endeavors, I have no plans to do so just yet. I hate to break it to you, but you are stuck with me for a little while longer. When I am ready to go, I will make sure that you are the first to know.
All best,
Allanah *