Escorts can provide more than just sex

[Bonnie_26]

I have been a little disappointed with my experiences so far in the trans adult world. Which I had hoped to make a few new friends in a similar situation to myself. Many of my everyday world friends who I have shown my profiles too have said many of the girls appear scary and intimidating, and are worried about what might happen to me. In real life all of the girls I have met have been as I have tried to be, normal and genuine. As well as hot! :)

From my experience in escorting a lot of the time of the booking is spent chatting and getting to know each other, building a little relationship. Which seems to be what men want, to get to know me as well as my body and learn about my journey. I have found the pressures of having to appear very sexually open and available to all men in the club and party scene very stressful. Although fun at the time can be a little soul destroying.

Any ideas of venues to go to in London to have more relaxed social fun?

Thanks xxx

[Plaything]

Hi Bonnie.

It seems to me that the emotional and relationship dynamic between an escort and client is, to say the least, complex.

For any kind of connection to be made there has to be a recognition that, in all probability, both parties have a very different set of expectations. Not usually a recipe for 'Happy Ever After'

That said, I have managed to build something real that exists outside of merely 'transactional' - with a very small number of girls. I know that others who have contributed to this forum have executed the same conjuring trick.

But it is a conjuring trick, requiring that we all suspend disbelief, allow our attention to be diverted away from certain truths - and there is a major element involving smoke and mirrors.

Personally, I'm realistic about what we have together, don't suffer from jealousy, and choose to recognise and enjoy (at least in one instance) being under a spell. In addition, those girls are the warmest, most open, genuine and welcoming of people, who seem to leave a little of themselves out in the open. My experience with escorts is that this is a rare thing - but for me it is the difference between good and great.

I would be amazed if you don't find something real in amongst that which is rented.

In the end, It is all a bit of a game. And games should be fun.

[amberskyi]

Be careful because I had similiar if not the same views when i started escorting.
I wanted to be more of a courtesan but cultivating that kind of relarionship and clientele is very rare if not impossible. I dont know if its a reflection of the times and the dynamics between modern men and woman or what...If yout not careful though you'll end up giving too much of yourself.
The reason i stoped escorting wasnt because of any traumatic event or health risk (I avoided those due to my wits and the grace of God) but the emotional toll it took on me.
When I started I didnt have the proper emotional guards up and when I learned it was too late.
So just be careful and protect yourself just not physically but emotionally as well. Not all the men youll met are wolves, quite a few are pleasant infact but dont be confused girl, they arent your friends.They have their lives and very very few will extend themselves to you selflessly.Theres a reason why they see escorts (secrecy and control) and those arent the building blocks to friendship.
If your looking for more normalized enteractions with men try regular dating sites and events.Not ones with adult or ts themes.

[Plaything]

Ultimately, aren't all relationships mine-fields?

A safe passage visible only through crystal-ball.

The magic is sleight of heart, way, way trickier to read than sleight of hand.

Smarter people than me have their own view...

'I've heard so many things I Fail to understand at all
I'd settle anytime for unknown footsteps in the hall outside

And all I know for sure: All I know for real,
Is knowing doesn't mean so much,
When placed against the feeling
The heat inside, when bodies meet, when fingers touch

Because the world is cruel and promises are broken,
Don't try to tell me anything.
Don't try to tell me you'll be true to me
You know the real truth is never spoken
And I know the world is cold but if you hold on tight to what you find,
You might not mind too much,
Though, Even this must pass away,
And,
Memories may last for years,
But names are just as souvenirs
Some kind of angel let me look into your eyes
Don't give me why's and wherefores
Reason or surprise
I don't care for words that don't belong
And I don't care what you're called
Tell me later if at all
I can wait a long long time
Before I hear another love song

Come here I think you're beautiful
My door is open wide
Some kind of angel come inside'

...Sometimes

You just have to take your best shot.

[Bonnie_26]

So basically give up with finding any meaningful friendships in the trans scene with men or women as its constructed essentially just to provide men access to my body? This makes me sad, as there is so much potential as there a lot of interesting girls in London. My point went beyond merely escorting. My unhappiness is the lack of a venue for girls to meet without the pressures of sex, and for men to actually chat to us without expecting it to end in a free fuck.

[Bonnie_26]

I do have my normal life with generally straight and genetic female friends. But not many that who can relate to the losses and challenges in my life. I enjoy escorting and am pretty good at it. Just would like a place beyond the internet to meet others without so much pressure.

[Plaything]

So basically give up with finding any meaningful friendships in the trans scene with men or women as its constructed essentially just to provide men access to my body? This makes me sad, as there is so much potential as there a lot of interesting girls in London. My point went beyond merely escorting. My unhappiness is the lack of a venue for girls to meet without the pressures of sex, and for men to actually chat to us without expecting it to end in a free fuck.

Never give up.

Pretty certain that it isn't the venue that is missing, but the right men.

Equally certain that they are out there. So the law of averages is on your side.

Eventually.

Wish I could be more helpful. I don't engage at all in Trans club/party scene.

If I'm out it is a live music thing.

Lots of luck.

[giovanni_hotel]

Someone should set up a dating service where guys who want to meet TS for intimate encounters should be required to take a girl out to dinner first.

[amberskyi]

Unfortunately in my experience anytime there's a ts theme with an event or social site that inolves interactions with men your going to encounters a certain mindset. Some of the fault is the girls who use such avenues as an extension of their busines and adverstisment but also with the guys who go on certain sites and to certain events soley to fullfill a fantasy.
Dont give up, but try site that dont carter exclusively to a ts demographic or has adult sex themes. Try okcupid or plenty of fish and just state your ts in your profile. Youll be surprised how many guys youll meet who are open minded and dont have same stigmas or agendas that some guys who frequant ts sites/events have.
To be fair tho, men are men regardless of the orientation lol. They try to pump and dump ggs as well. The added stigma and sexual insecurity on their part just worsens the issue.

[DeadGirl-Productions]

How hard is it to start a band or join a book club, maybe go fly model airplanes...? You know, normal human stuff that puts you around regular people doing regular things outside of the internet. That's how you make real friends/relations that have nothing to do with your gender and everything to do with your value as a human.

[Plaything]

Unfortunately in my experience anytime there's a ts theme with an event or social site that inolves interactions with men your going to encounters a certain mindset. Some of the fault is the girls who use such avenues as an extension of their busines and adverstisment but also with the guys who go on certain sites and to certain events soley to fullfill a fantasy.
Dont give up, but try site that dont carter exclusively to a ts demographic or has adult sex themes. Try okcupid or plenty of fish and just state your ts in your profile. Youll be surprised how many guys youll meet who are open minded and dont have same stigmas or agendas that some guys who frequant ts sites/events have.
To be fair tho, men are men regardless of the orientation lol. They try to pump and dump ggs as well. The added stigma and sexual insecurity on their part just worsens the issue.

Cyber this and cyber that.

Amberskyi (beautiful tag) you clearly come at this from a more informed point than I.

And it's true...

'if I went back where I bin, and I knew what I know now, then, well I'd probably do it again, cos' I'm just a man...at the end of the day, I aint got nothing to say....cept' here I am'

But.

Bet you have more chance of finding something real in the front row of a Depeche Mode concert...than any digital dating station.

I did.

It just wasn't 'forever'

[wearboots4me]

I have seen several escorts (nearly all genetic). You know when you call an escort that she's not your girlfriend, so even if you get a little attached, it doesn't hurt that there's no real relationship. I prefer having a girlfriend to escorts anyway, but escorts are an alternative if I am not seeing anyone.