How do I meet a man??

[Ts RedVeX]

How do I meet a man without flashing my tits and dick in front of the camera for them, assuming that I am a stealth tgirl who moved in next door a few years ago, has alway worn ordinary clothes and never really did any porn or escorting because she has an ordinary job at the local restaurant, likes ordinary things like jogging, going out with friends (although friends seems to be a species that is alnost completely extinct nowadays), going camping, sunbathing, etc...?

[javier81]

You introduce yourself.
<edit>Introduce yourself, it can't hurt. People are people, wherever you go.

[nordland]

any sort of TG friendly bar or pub might help

[Baggins]

Hi Redvex,

Having met you the other day in Newcastle, I would say that you would have no trouble fitting in as a girl anywhere. Even though you are 6'2" you are very feminine and as I told you, you could easily pass for a Dutch girl. I have met several who are very similar to yourself, tall, blonde and gorgeous.

Apart from the fact that you are always travelling, I can't see you having a problem meeting a man as you are very personable and easy to talk to.

The only problem would be at what point in the relationship you reveal that you are better hung than he is, since you appear to just want to meet as "you" and unless you are in a TS club most men would just assume you were a woman.

Just go for it! and good luck.

[Nikka]

u woke up Horny again redvex?

[Ts RedVeX]

Introduce... yes. I know it, you know it, but most of the people who are still single my age are too affraid to genuinely introduce themselves - as they are rather that as they would like the other party to see them: in accordance of the latest silly trends.

A lonely person in a pub usually means they are either asking for a shag or simply enjoy getting pissed up watching sports on telly. Unless I already have a crew I like to socialise with, I will refrain from going clubbing or pub crawling.

At this point we are not looking what I hide in my pants, although I do agree that it will have prevented the relationship from evolving, if not killed it at a later stage.

LoL Nikki;D

Anyway, my point was that it is not so much about meeting a man, as it is about meeting anyone, who I would actually have something in common with, and who wouldnt bullshit about how threndy they are so that I could actually see them rather that their fake image which in long run is bound to cause nothing else but disappointment, annihilating the infatuation and the whole relation in general..

[GroobySteven]

You were in Newcastle and you didn't call me?
I would have taken you for a Gregg's pasty.

[Ts RedVeX]

I still am in Newcastle and I am thinking of where to go for leisure tomorrow;>

[tarot]

Can a client not turn into a serious , loving , relationship?Surely that would be the best place to meet , as there is no lie . Maybe the love of your life is closer than you think .We often miss the obvious

[Ts RedVeX]

The thing with clients is that they will usually fall under at least one of the following categories:

- people who have their own families and just want to keep themselves as well as the rest of their family happy. Usually discretion is essential here and it would simply be 'unhealthy' to engage in anything beyond the time brackets of a meeting.

- workoholics, or people who put their career on top of everything else and therefore are unsuitable for a relationship because they just do not have time for it - also in terms of friendship.

- the socially handicapped lemmings who usually appear as not at all interresting for pretty much anyone else from their orn as well as the latter two categories because they persistently and blindly follow the latest trends, watch and comment on their favourite soap characters' lives rather than get off facebook and try to get a life of their own. They will usually create accounts on badoo with descriptions such as: "I am not good at this, like going out and meeting people, wanna know more then write to me...(Now why would I wanna do that?)"

I created a thread in the sports lounge on the other day to see how many of you would see it as a sort of invitation... The result was terrifying as nobody did, but I am not surprised. All in all, it is tg porn board and yoy won't see dick and tits through a multi layered snowboarding outfit, will you?

[Lester316]

I'm probably not being any help here but I'll add an opinion.

I often wonder as a guy (who doesn't live in a particularly big UK town) how to meet a TS girl when there aren't clubs and bars that I could socialize in; so whilst it's from a slightly different perspective I can empathize.

Anyhow to me you fall into the Pornstar category of 'wow - out of my league I'm just an average bloke' but perhaps other people who have experience of the industry can help. I assume that regardless of gender, or who they are looking to meet, people who have worked in the adult industry must have had experience when it comes dating and finding someone who likes them for who they are rather than the 'fan' perception that comes from seeing them on screen.

I know my opinion doesn't really help at all probably but it's just what went through my head. Regardless you are stunning and having read your posts here and there have a genuine sense of humor and personality so whomever you do meet should count himself as a lucky guy.

(Also for any other Brits reading this I'm sorry for American spellings but I can't work out how to change the dictionary and I hate the little red wavy lines that keep popping up lol.)

[Ts RedVeX]

Can you build 4 equalateral triangles with 6 matches without breaking or crossing the matches?

Unless you know this trick, you will most likely not succed unless you stop constraining yourself.

I know that I am some sort of a star or idol for most of you here but believe it of not, I do have my private life as well. Those who tried to call or text me during weekends already know it as I did not answer or texted back asking to call me in my working hours.

As a person standing on the other side of the barricade, I can say that I also constrain myself: I blocked PMs on here, as well as I lost badoo and a few other profiles limiting accessibility to only those whom I have met with and liked in reality.. Others will constrain themselves to only getting to know those whose skin is thick enough to withstand their piercingly bitchy attitude... Even though I have met exceptions, most of use will not be out of anyone's league because of who we are but because of how people see us - as you said - so why not give it a go? Unless, of course, you are perfectly fine with being a fan - especially that you seem to live far :D

Oh yeah, the question in the title is rethorical and was only meant to ridicule a bit threads of the "where do I meet tgirls" sort. - We are humam too goddamit xD

[CoolAwesomeBXDude]

whats wrong with just being yourself.

start out with building friendships with these ppl

[Tapatio]

Funny turn in this thread, RedVex- but important: it must be difficult.

You forgot a category of guys:

The guys who seem to fit the bill, but turn out not to be a good ally.

That was me. I had everything else my ex needed but couldn't fully reconcile myself to her vocation. I thought I could. I tried. But she'd come off of a road trip and spend the first night back in my bed- I love her (still) but those nights were difficult. I'd hold her, welcome her, talk or not (usually not) depending on what she needed, but...

I failed her. She deserves better and even though she tried to make it work too, it had to end.

Best of luck to us all.

[Lester316]

Ah..

I guess I should have guessed there might have been a less literal and more rhetorical meaning to the thread; so partly my answer would lend itself to putting my foot in mouth somewhat and falling into the trap of aping those very threads your mentioned that ask "where do I meet tgirls". I guess there I'm 2 for 2.

I can say that although I don't have any matches handy I'm sure three dimensional thinking over two would solve that one.

I'm as guilty as anybody of putting people into boxes at times such as 'pornstar' and 'fan' but to be fair it is hard to move beyond the connotations of such roles; it's nice to think that in person I could strike up a conversation easily enough with someone I see as being so glamorous but (and I'm totally talking personally here - I'm sure lots of other guys are filled with self-confidence) the thing that would truly hold me back is not so much having a 'star' perception of someone but more my own insecurities.

That all said one thing I love about this site is that here we do get genuine human responses from people who are stars and it makes them all that more attractive in my eyes as they move beyond being the 'hot person in the video'.

Hopefully my waffling makes some sense...


P.S.: I'm terribly aware that after mentioning my guilt about putting people into boxes/labeling I continue doing it later. But it was done in a positive way (I hope). Someone please tell me off if I do it too much though.

[tarot]

If the guy could not accept your vocation , then he would need to be rich and generous .There is no way , you could give up the financial freedom and earning power you have - you would need to be compensated .Just being a pragmatist here , as love does not conquer all.

[Ts RedVeX]

Quite a few things:

The more yourself you are the more egocentric if not narcissistic you may appear in the eyes of others and the higher risk you run of being rejected, which, in turn, is the main reason why most people try to conceal their real self. It may actually lead to total social alienation in extreme cases.

I think that the Internet has made people lazy. They do not try to conform with anything any more and expect everyone else to conform with their poins of view. - Now, how short-sighted is that?

You can never be completely yourself. The key is to find a person who will tolerate as much of yourself as you really need to show and vice versa. THe more yourselves both of you will be able to display to eachother, the happier and better your relationship will be... Shame that most people will not believe me and stick to forging their fake images, both on- and off-line.

As to earning powers and compensation... I work 4,5 days a week, which means I could potentially earn over 35% more, as travelling is included in those 4,5 days. the 35% is what my freedom is worth for me. Also I could invest in some drugs and work 24/7, lower my prices and get more clients... It's just not me. I am not selling my soul for a pile of paper bigger than it needs to be.

[Lester316]

I have to admit this is the first time I've really engaged in a conversation as part of a thread here, generally in the past I've commented on the odd thing I have experience on or stuck to reading what people have to say.

In many ways I sort of feel like I'm still feeling my way around, trying to work out the dos and don'ts of the boards - for me I want to conform (and not break any rules of course) but remain individual and hopefully genuine. The internet has become a place where being able to give an opinion in an unbridled way has lead to many people thinking they can say what they think and not care who it hurts and that is a shame.

Thinking of something said earlier; I am happy being a fan, I wouldn't have found my way here if I wasn't and the site has really opened my eyes in many ways. Getting to see beyond porn and hear opinions has been quite interesting. I've never been one to subscribe to socially constructed ideas of gender or sexual identity rather just simply thinking people should be able to be who they want to be; with luck that means meeting the right person in the future too.

Mostly I suppose I can't help but think wouldn't it be nice to instead of asking 'where do I go to meet a TS/How do I meet a man??' and thinking of what clubs/bars or other options there might be to be able to just meet the type of person you want to anywhere and not feel awkward because of other people's socially constructed ideas of 'normal'.

[Ts RedVeX]

The internet and real life are two different things and the latter ecloses the former, not the other way around. I see the Internet as only one dimmension of the multi-dimmensional space we are all living in. It is just one of the tools our world offers us - craftsmen of our own lives - to make the best out of our lives. The sad part is that tools, such as drugs, fame, money, religion, a tablesaw or anything really, used in an inapropriate way can be lethal. Taken to an extreme they can make us loose contact with the other dimmensions , or fingers, rendering us disabled in terms of participating in life.

As to posting things on line... Not many people care what they post and I don't think it should all be read and analysed before it is taken seriously or be let out the other... eye?

[Anubis1779]

The girl who I've been crazy about for the last two years simply walked into a college-type bar (bunch of hipsters, PBR specials, etc.) that I happened to be at for the only time. I went there because I was transferring soon and was having some beers with a good friend. So she walks in and I'm immediately eyeballing her. I see her head near the back with her group of friends so I decide to fake a trip to the bathroom so I can get a better look at her. The area where the bathrooms are is separated from the bar by a glass door. I walk out as she starts to head towards the ladies room and held the door for her, said hello and smiled and got one in return. I noticed she seemed to know the bartender so I asked him for her name, bumped into her once more on the way out, looked her up on Facebook and sent her a message and we've been talking since. I can't wait to move back to the States and really start dating her since I met her about a week before I moved!

[Acron]

RedVex have you tried dating sites like Match.com? I know you mentioned even just meeting new people as friends, and although the end goal on a site like that is a relationship, Ive been out with people on there who I still talk to because they were fun and interesting, and although it didn't work out romantically, I would still class myself as friends with a couple of them.

Hope you're keeping busy in Newcastle... Theres always plenty to do!

[Lester316]

Anubis I hope the move back to the states goes well, it's an awesome thing to hear of people meeting and connecting in a relatively simple way these days.

Sometimes it's chance meets that end up being the most rewarding. A few years ago I met a GG online but it wasn't on a dating site, we were both playing some sort of words with friends clone on Facebook (before I got bored of the whole FB thing), chatted in the little box next to the game and things went from there. The next few months (including actually meeting her) ended up being one of the happier times of my life, so as RedVex says the internet used in the right way is certainly a handy tool.

As I've changed over the years and become generally more attracted to TS girls I've often wondered if such a chance meeting is really a possible thing. At the start of the thread RedVex mentioned about the right time to bring certain things up and it's got me thinking; I've never really used any dating sites (general or based on looking for a certain gender) so if you want to meet people what is the better experience?

Do people go to a standard dating site and hope they meet someone who might share what they are looking for beyond (and including) gender/sexual identity, or go to a TS based site knowing that at least everyone knows where things stand to start with? Or are dating sites not great regardless and it's better just get out there and meet people first?

Sorry if this is steering away from topic too much just the general idea of how to meet people got me thinking about it. Plus having not really used dating sites I can't help but wonder if anyone has any positive/negative major reflections on them.

[Ts RedVeX]

Seriously, I have wasted too much time on 'dating sites' sites already, looking at void profile descriptions, reading silly messages which I could not refer to in most cases. Moreover, I wouldn't date anyone who I had not met. I seriously prefer to go a holiday somewhere and count on meeting someone there because efen if I don't, then at least I will have had a good time away from the tools I use for work. Even if you think about it, Anubis too had met the girl before he looked her on line, which already proved that she would not be the facebook slave type and actually does go out and socialize.

[jholder9013]

RedVex, have tried to message you on here and a email… would like to know your travel schedule in the UK. Unfortunately i would be meeting you as a 'meeting', but i wouldn't describe myself as a short list of your clients, no problem talking or meeting women, men trans but haven't found any to correctly play out fantasies… hoping you can help ;)
J xx

[philipsfrog]

You could sit next to a guy on the train or bus or even a park bench and start talking with them, or you could do something where it would be easier to meet guys such as doing a course, dance classes or joining a gym to name a few ideas off the top of my head.
Also I don't know if you have asked a friend if they could set you up but that could be worth a try.

[zodiac]

I really like this thread, serious chatter with a blink every now and then. It's funny though how people tend to put a label on different people in society, trying to catagorize them. Yes in some way this is possible. But isn't everybody in your circle of acquintances special to you? Some people are easy to read and understand, some people require some getting to know. For me, I want to fall in love with a person's character -> Problem is, I have had so many crushes that turned into good friendships this way. Perhaps I'm too polite, too shy, too .... etcetera. I'm just no Casanova I guess.

For sure, everybody here on this forum is here with multiple agenda's. Personally I find it hard - as honest and open as I try to be in real life - to discuss my feelings about love and attraction to other people, no matter the gender.
The reason why I really, I mean: really LOVE to visit this board, is to read (and sometimes discuss) on threads like these. I would see it as a relieve of a burden to be able to talk about subjects like these with somebody 'in real life' and most of all, being able to share a mutual feeling. For me, that would be a dream come true. Yes, perhaps I should be more assertive on this, but I just can't. It is easy to say "do this and do that", but you can't expect a mouse to roar like a lion.

A.

[Lester316]

Got to agree with pretty much everything Zodiac says.

I suspect that given time (a fair bit sadly in all probability) people will be more at ease with discussing their sexuality and who they are attracted to and hopefully traditional gender constructions as the default notion that we all learn from a young age will begin to change.

Hopefully then the problems that some of us feel we have meeting people owing to the fact we might already be quiet shy, introverted or just not that confident won't be quite so much of a burden when it comes to meeting others. Of course that's not to say it's just an issue of shyness etc; I'm sure plenty of utterly confident people still have trouble meeting the right 'one' just because sometimes they don't come along or that knowing where to start looking isn't that obvious.

Speaking personally I'd say that I'm quiet happy socializing - in fact being back at University in my thirties has made me more at ease than I feel I would have been otherwise as everyone I meet there regardless of age seems fit in quite well. My issue has always been knowing how to openly go up and chat to someone I find attractive, I'm aware that's mostly a confidence thing but just finding the right way to say hello without sounding awkward seems to allude me. Add in the fact that I would love to meet a TS Girl and get to know them the same way I think anyone would hope to meet someone they could ask out one day and I'm probably extra worried about coming across like a fool.

Fingers crossed that I might eventually bump into the TS Girl who is wondering where to meet a guy and that she is patient enough for me to actually say hello.

[Jamie French]

Just date a trans girl. All the hassle and headache is eliminated 'cause you don't have to explain shit and already share similar experiences that no man could understand.

[MrFanti]

I belong to a couple of social groups that actually get out and do things. (outdoor concerts, running half-marathons, art/museum shows-trips, sports events, etc).

It's a great way to have face to face conversations about non-sexual topics. Usually meet a couple folks that have common interests....:cool:

[JerseyMike]

What are you interest? Follow up on them?
I go to museum/gallery receptions, operas, and meet up photography groups. There are random meet up groups that set up meetings online. Plus you could always try out a paid dating website, I'm sure guys would be more real there than on free ones.

[dreamon]

I'm not sure if this has already been said... but have you ever considered asking the guy out? This isn't 1950... girls are allowed to ask guys out.. and believe it or not.. the guy might actually say yes! These are crazy times... we are on equal footing now ;)

[Ts RedVeX]

Hehe the point has been lost, I'm affraid.. Anyway, went snowboarding last Sunday. Galleries and pubs aren't my cup of tea by the way. I was supposed to do some sighrt seeing today but I am just going to uead home and perhaps go jogging in the evening.. Thanx for participating and have a nice weekend!

[Elisabeth_TS]

For me, i have used online dating sites to find partners in the past. Yes you do have to talk to a lot of annoying people before you find the one person you click with, which can be very annoying. For me i personally prefer it that way, as it allows you to mention the two big things, that i have a dick and that i am a sex worker. Though its normally the latter that people have the most issues with.


If you were looking for someone with shared interests, then i would avoid clubs and bars deffinatly. The best way to find someone with a shared interest would be to look if there was a social group near you that did those kind of things, there normally are groups of like minded people who go camping or running or what ever together and meet up to do those things. That would probably be the easiest way to do it, as then you get to talk to them as friends and see what happens.

[Kioji]

Find a hobby that involves going out to a place weekly or somthing to that degree. L\ike a class/club that focuses on that hobby, you should be able to meet some friends that way maybe even some one you may fancy. I'm with you on the online dating stuff it's pretty miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss,maybe a hit, miss, miss, miss, miss,etc
it's easy top think that is all of the dating world.
Honestly even though it's scary being yourself even if it comes off as narcissism can actually be an advantage at least ti is for me. I like girls who also display this type of attitude which is probably why i'm still single when i start talking to a girl or vice versa i realize she's basic and or has no self-worth/confidence and i'm uninterested.
If people don't like you for you they aren't worth being friends with~just my opinion and i have tons of friends.

[dabaldone]

Let's keep it real, for most men trans women are a fetish and will never be considered as viable mates. It takes most guys years to get over the social conditioning and being "confused" about their sexuality. If you meet a guy and he's open to taking you out to dinner or a non-TG bar that's half the battle. If he only wants to meet you at night at your home, he's stuck in fetish mode. If a man is interested he will court you

[MrFanti]

Anyway, went snowboarding last Sunday.

Sounds like fun! :cheers:
Although I confess to only cross-country skiing......

[Plaything]

Hehe the point has been lost, I'm affraid.. Anyway, went snowboarding last Sunday. Galleries and pubs aren't my cup of tea by the way. I was supposed to do some sighrt seeing today but I am just going to uead home and perhaps go jogging in the evening.. Thanx for participating and have a nice weekend!

Very cool post....and then completely lost...even when you signpost...remarkable.

[BobMasters]

Use Tinder of plentyoffish. You can meet decent people on there. I'm on there!

[Plaything]

This one will run and run....but in the opposite direction from whence it came.

A very smart one-liner becomes 'War and Peace'.

As previously.

Remarkable.

[VeraReyna]

Just date a trans girl. All the hassle and headache is eliminated 'cause you don't have to explain shit and already share similar experiences that no man could understand.
Thought I'd chime in and agree with you Jamie being with a trans girl is an amazing experience. Sorry guys while I'm not off the market. I'm too adventurous at the moment to visit that journey. However imo until the stigma on the part of men becomes secondary. It will be quite the challenge for all. I always remain optimistic this will change some day.

[AdaBlackXXX]

Men will never compare to a fellow trans girl or cumming dildo. Call me. ;D Haha.

[MrFanti]

However imo until the stigma on the part of men becomes secondary. It will be quite the challenge for all. I always remain optimistic this will change some day.

My "guess" is that across the globe, Thailand is the most accepting of Men/Transgender open relationships.

[Nikka]

Thanx for participating and have a nice weekend!

I need a man from mondays to fridays

weekends I am off :dead::dead:

joking redvex!!!!!!!!!!! :tongue:

[crystalsopen]

How do I meet a man without flashing my tits and dick in front of the camera for them, assuming that I am a stealth tgirl who moved in next door a few years ago, has alway worn ordinary clothes and never really did any porn or escorting because she has an ordinary job at the local restaurant, likes ordinary things like jogging, going out with friends (although friends seems to be a species that is alnost completely extinct nowadays), going camping, sunbathing, etc...?

My facebook page has no reference to adult work and I get random dudes hitting on me. I also get hit on when doing everything from getting gas, to drinking. The question is not how to find a guy, but how to find a great guy.

[Plaything]

My facebook page has no reference to adult work and I get random dudes hitting on me. I also get hit on when doing everything from getting gas, to drinking. The question is not how to find a guy, but how to find a great guy.

Ditto. Don't need a Girl. Need a Great Girl. But then I'm only a great guy sometimes. Flawed. Imperfect. Wish that wasn't true.

But.

To err is Human.

[Erika1487]

Just date a trans girl. All the hassle and headache is eliminated 'cause you don't have to explain shit and already share similar experiences that no man could understand.

This ^

[Ts RedVeX]

Hehe

I do occasionally come back here but I haven't got much to add, really. Maybe, Like Don Kichote fighting with windmils, I can remind everyone that my view on social networks and dating sites remains the same - they suck, suck too much time and energy from people, who at some point forget that they won't be young forever...

I do abuse internet too, though: I devote relatively much of my free time to playing quake, even though my connection is shit and ping - unstable. It would have been OK for facebook and all that dating turd but really, they have never been my thing and I doubt they will ever will be.

In short:

I leave people who lead virtual lives to others alike and their virtual realms. And now, would you excuse me but I need to plan a vacation somewhere secluded, far from computers, Internet and other working tools that are causing so many fatalities these days without their victims even realising they are already dead men walking.

[crystalsopen]

Ditto. Don't need a Girl. Need a Great Girl. But then I'm only a great guy sometimes. Flawed. Imperfect. Wish that wasn't true.

But.

To err is Human.
That is why I say a great guy (emotionally mature, successful, generous etc), perfect isn't real. But that is not a reason to settle down with someone who isn't good for you.

[Plaything]

That is why I say a great guy (emotionally mature, successful, generous etc), perfect isn't real. But that is not a reason to settle down with someone who isn't good for you.

Amen.

[doncarter]

How do I meet a man without flashing my tits and dick in front of the camera for them, assuming that I am a stealth tgirl who moved in next door a few years ago, has alway worn ordinary clothes and never really did any porn or escorting because she has an ordinary job at the local restaurant, likes ordinary things like jogging, going out with friends (although friends seems to be a species that is alnost completely extinct nowadays), going camping, sunbathing, etc...?
@Redvex, I remember meeting you a while ago at the wayout club and you were very cool and a great dancer; we hit it off quite nicely and even spent a good couple of hours in a cab trying to find a vacant hotel,but had no luck. I remember being so distraught at my missed opportunity to be with you for the night that I completely forgot to take your number or ask for your details. and I've been beating myself up about it since.

Personally I think if you put yourself out there you'll definitely find someone because you are very good-looking and easy to talk to so I can't imagine you'd have problems attracting guys, I used to find it difficult to meet beautiful tgirls like yourself in certain clubs (wayout) until another member on here gave me recommendations on where to go out in London and I've made a couple of good friends since. So maybe it's just a case of where you go out?