Question about growing up and love

[yourboytrain]

Hey guys. I just wanted to get your thoughts on something.

When I was younger I was all about just going to tg clubs and hooking up with beautiful tgirls. I was 21-23. It was a great time but I burned bridges with girls that I really liked and wanted to date but I was a moron and screwed them up.

There is one girl that to this day I still think about. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I dated her on and off for about 2 years and then just stopped talking to her for some dumb reason.

I am going out tonight with some friends to tg clubs and I am hoping I run into her.

My question is, is it just too late now? Should I even bother trying to win her back? It's been about 6 years since I have seen her or even gone out to any clubs.

Do I even deserve another chance?

I'm not trying to sound like a total pussy (maybe too late lol), it's just she is the one who got away for sure. Maybe one of you guys/gals have been in a situation like this.

Let me know your thoughts.

Thanks!

[omnifarious]

That's really up to her and how she felt over what transpired between you two.

[NightmareX0666]

Not to sound like a country bumpkin, but my mom would always tell me, 'only a guilty conscience looks back!" Never understood that until I lost my ex due to my own stupidity. Many times I thought about contacting her, but from what I understand she is happy. I can't bring myself to bring up past pain when her future looks good.

In your case, if you bump into her and she wants to talk...then go forward but make sure you listen closely. In six years you have learned to appreciate, respect and realized what this girl meant to you. In six years what has she faced and what changes happened in her life? And that is why I say to listen closely to her, if she has someone in her life that makes her happy don't pursue her more than as a friend.

I could be wrong...wouldn't be the first time.

[gaysian71]

It's never to late to makeup for a lost love. Even if you were solely to blame for the lack of communication. You never know, maybe she has been thinking a lot about you too.

[JenniferParisHusband]

Yourboytrain,

I was in a similar predicament. I have loved two transgender women, both are somewhat famous, and I think about them all the time, see them with others, and feel incredibly jealous. I asked one to marry me, although she said no. I always feel like I missed opportunities and wasted time, and could have spent about a decade now being happy with either one of them. Nothing like hindsight to make you feel stupid about the decisions you made in your past.

That said, I have to agree with the posts above though. It's usually guilt that makes you look back, and if you're the one who was guilty, the aggrieved party usually doesn't forget it. Adult patterns of behavior are difficult or impossible to change. And it usually takes something like an alcoholic hitting rock bottom to make a person change. It's easy to go to clubs, or come on here, or some of the websites, and develop this image of the ladies as purely sexual objects, but they've got real feelings, and are usually (not always, but usually) more distrustful of guys, having been burned many times before. So, as someone who has been there and knows what you're feeling, first thing, make sure you really are ready for this. If you're not, you're only going to hurt her more, and completely burn the bridge forever.

If you really feel you are ready, the worst that can happen by trying to open a dialogue with her is that she says no, and you have to move on. But if she says yes, you've got to prove to her that you really want this, and that's going to take a long time and a lot of work.

Good luck though, I'm pulling for you!

[perth256]

6 years......you sure shes not with someone else now?