advice sought

[karenmiller]

Hi all,

I'm a 45 year old guy, I occasionally cross dress, but am heterosexual. I have been fantasizing about being with a T girl, and I have met a very cute one online. We are planning to meet for a drink.

This is a step into the unknown for me, can anyone give me advice on how i should be, I don't want to hurt this girl by being an idiot, we've spoken a lot online and she sounds really nice, by i am aware she may be vulnerable and or insecure, I'm not sure about how i will feel on meeting her but I know that I want to.

I want to get to know her as a person and not just think pervy thoughts about her.

Can anyone help or offer advice? I don't want her to feel like an object.

K

[saifan]

Treat her like a person.

[Ts RedVeX]

Sad...

[Robert66]

You say that you're heterosexual so no doubt at 45 you've dated or been in relationships with genetic girls. Why not treat this lady with the same respect you would a GG? It's not rocket science, it's a simple meeting between two adults. Remember she is not an object, she is a person with feelings like everyone else.

[AshlynCreamher]

I think you should be upfront and tell her you just want to fuck

[karenmiller]

Thanks for the replies, she is very cute, she is from the Philipines and if she was a genetic girl I would want to fuck her brains out. Maybe it's me that is more insecure about who I am(?)

But from conversations we've had she is funny and cute, we are going to meet for a drink and I just want to get to know her before anything else.

It is because I like her I don't want to do the wrong thing and upset her. I am a caring person by nature but no experience of this sort of thing. I already think of her just as a girl, I guess I'm a bit scared that will change when we meet.

Redvex - can you expand?

K

[leonmagnus]

I've been in a relationship with two trans women, and both ended badly. I don't know what kind of person you are, but for me things went well at first. However, there comes a time where you will inevitably start comparing her to genetic girls. Certain things that didn't seem to matter suddenly start nagging you in the back of your head. Call me vain, superficial, or whatever but that was my experience. I hope you do better than I did. Just remember trans women may be women, but they're women of a different sort. Most of them had a rougher life than a GG, and society as a whole treats them harshly and they always get the short straw. Tread carefully, and know what you really want before things get serious.

[Robert66]

Is she living in The Philippines?

[Ts RedVeX]

Yea: it sounds like you have sold someone some bullshit in the virtual world and you want to know whether it is time to cut the crap now or produce some more shit when you meet...

The thing is that unless she has also sold you bullshit on line but actually wants from you the very thing you actually want to give her, it is probably all going to end with disappointment.

You want to get to know her without revealing your true self and you bullshit everyone here and possibly yourself that you care about her feelings.

Thinking of the amount of bullshit here and around me makes me sad.

[leonmagnus]

I agree with redvex in that the sad reality is most guys (myself included) pursue a fantasy when they want a relationship with a trans woman. When the reality doesn't measure to the fantasy we just run away. Ask yourself these questions. Would you wanna be seen in public with her? Take her on dates? Introduce her to your friends/parents?

[fred41]

Just out of curiosity, does she already know you cross dress?

[Jimmy W]

You're full of shit. You sound like every other 'sensitive' I'm not like other guys douche who wants to treat her with respect so you can feel good about yourself when the truth is you want to CUM and RUN. Tell her (if she even exists) you want SEX is the best way to respect her. Then she can decide.

[joni lee]

Tranny chaser! (○)(○)

[natina]

just put your cards on the table and tell them you want the tranny dick!


lay it on the line

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5c1m2BAg2Sc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5c1m2BAg2Sc

[karenmiller]

Yea: it sounds like you have sold someone some bullshit in the virtual world and you want to know whether it is time to cut the crap now or produce some more shit when you meet...

The thing is that unless she has also sold you bullshit on line but actually wants from you the very thing you actually want to give her, it is probably all going to end with disappointment.

You want to get to know her without revealing your true self and you bullshit everyone here and possibly yourself that you care about her feelings.

Thinking of the amount of bullshit here and around me makes me sad.

I appreciate the reply, but sorry you've lost me there.... what do i want to give her? What bullshit have I sold her? How can you know I don't care about her feelings?

Are you assuming i just want to have sex with her? If that were the case I would just pay for it with one of the numerous beautiful asian Tgirls available, I have enough money.

I think she is looking for friendship, I don't think you get what I'm saying which probably means i'm not saying it very well, or you're just jumping to conclusions about my real motives.

But to those who have said treat her like a person, that is good advice and i will try to do that, just take her for who she is, if it amounts to only a drink together then that's fine.

[Robert66]

From what you are saying it does appear you have your motives in the right place. If you haven't met her yet you might not even know yourself at this stage where you want this go. I started off my fascination for ladyboys based almost completely on the sex angle. I saw it as an exciting interlude to my 'normal' sex/love life. What I didn't count on was meeting one girl who I did fall in love with, and we lived together for six months, and I discovered we did have much in common and enjoyed each other's company outside of the bed. She is a well-educated intelligent lady who has her own hair/beauty salon so has done quite well.
Sadly, what leonmagnus says is quite true, and that obstacles do arise as you go through a relationship (as is the case in most 'normal' relationships, but a relationship with a ladyboy does have extra issue which have to be dealt with, and I am speaking from experience). Sometimes we chase a fantasy, and find the reality does not match it. I will defend the others here who have raised doubts about your sincerity, because realistically, most guys are just looking for the fun/excitement that a taboo relationship will bring, and have no thoughts about it being long term.
However, I think we are all jumping the gun, you have indicated you merely wish to have a drink with her and get to know her better. There is nothing wrong with this, and you are obviously wrestling with your own intentions, so you have nothing to lose by a simple meeting. Go for it and just see what happens, and of course let us know what happens!

[Ts RedVeX]

Hi all,

I'm a 45 year old guy, I occasionally cross dress, but am heterosexual. ((already excusing yourself because you do not accept the fact that you are bisexual - bullshit no 1)) I have been fantasizing about being ((not mentioning about the "in bed" part. You do not accept yourself so I can't imagine you accepting and "being with" as in "appearing in public with" or "doing something openly with" othes who crossdress, are transgendered or transsexual - bullshit no 2))with a T girl, and I have met a very cute one online((Do you really believe that??)). We are planning to meet for a drink((You think she's gonna be easier after a tipple... You did not (neither did she) even bother to find out what you two actually have in common, which shows lack of mutual interest and at least egocentrism. You will also be able to excuse yourself as having been drunk after the meeting - bullshit no 3)).

This is a step into the unknown for me, can anyone give me advice on how i should be((obviously you have no intention of being your genuine self - bullshit no 4)), I don't want to hurt this girl by being an idiot ((You think you are an idiot if you act normally)), we've spoken a lot online and she sounds really nice, by i am aware she may be vulnerable and or insecure((assumption that she needs a patron, which is probably just part of your sexual fantasy)), I'm not sure about how i will feel on meeting her but I know that I want to. ((egocentrism again))

I want to get to know her as a person and not just think pervy thoughts about her. ((So I you do have only pervy thoughts about her after all))

Can anyone help or offer advice? I don't want her to feel like an object.(( is how you treat people and you suspect it may happen this time too))

It is also sad that people are constantly trying to make themself believe in all the on-line crap they know is just what it is - crap.:werd:

[wearboots4me]

As long as you are honest with her about your intentions, I think it's all good. Maybe you don't know what you want, that's fine-as long as you tell her that.

[Ts RedVeX]

People usually know what they want. They just do not want to admit to those things too often. Sometimes they even deny what they want, who they are, etc.. That is what the society and social media teaches everyone to do... Bullshit everybody else.

[karenmiller]

Hi Redvex, Thanks for the reply, I kind of get what you are saying my original post maybe didn't come across properly due to my inability to articulate what i was trying to say.



"I don't want to hurt this girl by being an idiot ((You think you are an idiot if you act normally))"

This bit is true!!! But as for the rest you are making a lot of assumptions about me and are being rather aggressive in your responses - maybe you've come across lots of horrible guys in the past? well I did ask for advice.....



I can't imagine you accepting and "being with" as in "appearing in public with" or "doing something openly with" othes who crossdress, are transgendered or transsexual - bullshit no 2))

Well we met up, went out to a Thai restaurant and then to a pub, had a couple of drinks but not much. But this part is true, I would feel embarrassed going out arm in arm with someone that looks like a man, sorry that's not meant to be offensive to anyone, what i mean is no one deserves to be treated like that, and if that's how I felt it would make me feel really bad.



and I have met a very cute one online((Do you really believe that??)).

Yes I do and after meeting her think she is even more cute.



We are planning to meet for a drink((You think she's gonna be easier after a tipple...

That is definitely not true and I find that offensive, I have never in my life behaved like that, intentionally got someone drunk to shag them



You did not (neither did she) even bother to find out what you two actually have in common, which shows lack of mutual interest and at least egocentrism.

Yes we did i just didn't mention it, you assumed I didn't. How much is a philipino ladyboy and an english guy going to have in common? We like some of the same music and same sorts of food, we both like hot sunny places and beaches, she is intelligent and educated like me.....



You will also be able to excuse yourself as having been drunk after the meeting - bullshit no 3)).

no



Can anyone help or offer advice? I don't want her to feel like an object.(( is how you treat people and you suspect it may happen this time too))

Definite no to this one, again you have assumed what my motives and intentions are. I never treat people like that, but have never met a TS before.

But I do appreciate you took the time to write this and it has made me think. I can tell you what happened and you can continue to think i'm the person you think I am if you want.

We met up at her place, and went to a restaurant, had a nice dinner then went to a pub for a couple of drinks. We talked about loads of stuff, then we were joined by her ladyboy friend from the Philipines who had just got over a few days before and her boyfriend. we talked for a while, then I went home which was always my intention, once I was sure she was getting a lift home from her friend.

I think what i was trying to say was I was worried I would think she looked like a man when we met and would feel embarrassed or awkward, which would make me feel bad. But that didn't happen, she looks like any gg, except pretty, she is smaller than me even with heels on, no one gave us a second glance except guys looking at her a bit the same as any gg in a pub.

She sat on my lap for a bit and we kissed and cuddled, had a nice evening. I like her, she wants to see me again and I want to see her again, I still feel not sure about if I can be intimate with her, I don't know how I will react when I see her naked and I don't want her to think I'm repulsed. But I find her sexy to look at and to cuddle up with. Overall I am pleased to have met her, she is a nice person. If it just stays like that I will be happy. I don't want an inexperienced attempt at intimacy to be a bad experience for her.

My motive to meet her was not to shag her, but I guess I was worried in case that's how i felt.

[unstoppable69]

Sad...
Oi don't be nasty.