Duties of a Wife

[AllanahStarrNYC]

I just got this in the mail and I thought it was pretty funny.

Duties of a Wife

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given

their new wives duties.



The 1st man had married an Asian woman



and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He said it took a couple of days but on the 3rd day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were done.



The 2nd man had married a White woman.



He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. On the 1st day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the 3rd day, his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.



The 3rd man married a Black woman.



He boasted that he had told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the 1st day he didn't' see anything, the 2nd day he didn't see anything but by the 3rd day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye; enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher and call a landscaper.



hehe..

[BeardedOne]

You are so bad, Ms. A. :lol:

I love that one. :lol:

Hell, if those are the duties of a wife, then I am a true polygamist, married to Merry Maids, McDonald's, and the local wash-n-fold. :P

[AllanahStarrNYC]

LOL

Since I would be a "Manhattan Wife' here are how I would fufill those duties:

Food delivery 24/7.
I have a cleaning lady.
And a wash and fold that delivers and picks up accross the street.

SO all that's left for my wifely duties are in the bedroom. And I can handle those ;).

[BeardedOne]

LOL

Since I would be a "Manhattan Wife' here are how I would fufill those duties:

Food delivery 24/7.
I have a cleaning lady.
And a wash and fold that delivers and picks up accross the street.

SO all that's left for my wifely duties are in the bedroom. And I can handle those ;).

:lol:

I'll start saving for the ring, then. :wink:

My 'ex' (We were never married, but it's the reference most people understand) was one of those women that had been trained from birth to wait on her man hand and foot. Kinda nice for a while, but then it just got too extreme. I'm a low-maintenance guy, that can get by on the basics of just being treated like a human being. Sure, I cook (My favorite recipe: Pierce top with fork, place in microwave, cook on high for five minutes, stir, cook on low for five minutes, let set, and enjoy!), I wash (Though I never =clean=, thank gawd for Merry Maids), but I find some odd sort of comfort in minor (Repeat: MINOR) clutter. Shit, she made Martha Stuart look like a bag lady. :roll:

Having Collyer's Syndrome doesn't help (Google Homer & Langley Collyer), as it tends to drive most potential SO's screaming from the house. So, I have cats. Whiny, needy, wanting, aloof, stand-offish...Oh! Tiny women in fur coats! :lol: :lol: :lol: :wink:

[AllanahStarrNYC]

Well apparently I am high maitenance- LOL imagine that :D

My grandfather had that- it's an OCD

[BeardedOne]

Well apparently I am high maitenance- LOL imagine that :D

My grandfather that- it's an OCD

Yah, I learned it from my mom. :?

When she passed last year we scragged over twenty years of catalogs and junque mail from her apartment. :shock:

The sad part is that I =know= I've got it, and that doesn't seem to help much. :cry:

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

I thought that joke was racist as fuck............................................

[AllanahStarrNYC]

Huh?

That was sent to me by a black ts girl- it had pictures in it and the last picture was of 'Media'- as the 'black wife'

Racist? You gotta be kidding me. The joke is told by a black woman- a.ka. meaning that black women won't take shit is the punchline. Lighten up- watch the Queens Of Comedy- race refferences all over the place.

[Quinn]

Allanah, don't worry about those idiots- it was very funny and not racist

Calm down there, sycophant. This discussion is between grownups.

-Quinn

[Jasadin]

Well it's not politically correct but still funny. :)

[Ecstatic]

:lol: That reminds me of one, Allanah:

One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...

[Hara_Juku Tgirl]

Lmao.. :lol: Very funny indeed! :wink:

~Kisses.

HTG

[YasminLee]

HOUSEWIFE...I CAN ONLY PRETEND THAT ROLE FOR NOW..LIKE ALLANAH..SINCE ALL ARE DONE. MY JOB MAINLY IS THE BEDROOM..HOWEVER, AFTER A ALIAS SHOW.. I FIND MYSELF DISGUISING IN CUSTOM TO CLEAN OR DO ERANDS, ONLY TO BE STOP BY MY HUSBAND RETURNING...IT GOES INTO HOT SEX FROM THERE...IT'S HARD JOB WITH ALL THE DIFFERENT LOOKS..BUT I FIGURE IF I GIVE HIM RED HEADS, BLONDE, BRUNETTE, ETC..HE WOULDNT BE WONDERING AROUND...HMMM AM I NOT TRUSTING MY MAN LOL...

[JohnnyWalkerBlackLabel]

Simmer down newbies..................

I said it was racist as fuck because the joke

1. says the Asian broad would wait more than a day to do shit, yeah right!!!!!!!!!! we all know it would be done in 3 hours not 3 days

and

2. there was no mention of a Hispanic woman and how the hubby wouldn't have been able to see results due to her reaction to his request with some type of kitchen knife/machete

[DJ_Asia]

Interesting joke...seeing as how I live in Thailand and have a ladyboy as an assistant/cook/housekeeper/translator...AND I have a g/f who is SO damn dark from tanning she looks more African than Latina....scary thought..does that mean she'll kick my ass and bury a rusty machette in my back at the same time....and all I wanted was a Pepsi..just one Pepsi...and she wouldnt give it to me...

[chefmike]

I used to be the asshole known as Donko, and I was banned. I wonder how long it will take for my new identity to be banned?