Have you ever felt conflicted about your sexuality?

[SheWantsTheD]

The poll is private.

We come from many different walks of life. We are all at various stages in our lives. One similarity that we all share is that we are all here together on Hung Angels from the timid chasers to the celebrity pornstars.

You've all seen the threads; is this gay, is that? Does it matter? Who cares?
You always see the defensive ones, the offensive ones and those who are non-chalant and beyond the BS.
You see those who have been there, done that, got the T-Shirt. Those who have lived it, are still living it and even have their own T-Shirt business...


As for me, I was conflicted for years while watching the porn.
Then I became even more conflicted when I actually started meeting tgirls.
The reasons for my conflictions were based on religion and I also felt I was degrading myself by participating in casual sex. But at work I was okay to identify as bi and proclaim myself a part of the LGBT community.
I plan to go for a Masters in Sociology and I am interested in the welbeing and psychology of the brilliant people who make up the trans world.

One confliction that I still have is in regards to the future. I want kids of my own but I want a tgirl. I fear I cannot do both.
So what about you guys?

I have a few questions for you, feel free to answer whichever ones you want or to add your own. Or even ask me some questions if you like for discussion.


Have you ever been conflicted in your own sexual feelings and desires?
Are you conflicted right now?
How long were you conflicted for?
How did you deal with it?
Have you never been conflicted?
Has your sexuality changed?
Can you identify the moment when your sexuality changed?
Did you go through a transitional period of adjustment or was it as easy as flicking a switch?

[Prospero]

Not in the least

[Jericho]

Have you ever been conflicted in your own sexual feelings and desires?

When i was in my teens, yeah.
I'm suspicious of anyone who says they've never had a shade of doubt about their sexuality.

Are you conflicted right now?

Not in the slightest, I know what I want and whom I'm attracted to.

How long were you conflicted for?
How did you deal with it?

I dunno, for a couple of years i suppose (it was a long time ago)!
Got to a point where i thought, "Fuck it, try it, see what it does for you".
And here we are. :shrug

[Prospero]

Hey Jericho... so you're suspicous of me... when i said i never felt conflicted i mean that i have always been prepared to explore and discover. As a teenager the only conflict was not getting enough. I have tried all manner of legal things - with men, with TS, with TV, with groups, with GGs... S & M etc etc... never felt any conflict... just discovered what I like and what turns me off. (Men turn me off - most else I enjoy to a greater or lesser extent though S&M is a very occasional itch and to enjoyed in a very light form) TS and GG's are the best.

[broncofan]

Prospero, it's just tough to believe you never felt pressure to conform. I know that other people can be very judgmental, whether it's family, friends, or society. I also have also always been a little bit suspicious when people say they "don't care what other people think".

But there are all types. If you've never felt any apprehension or conflict, that's a good thing for you obviously, and I'm happy to hear it.

[dabaldone]

As a whole, we have been socially conditioned to be "hetero normative" in our thhoghtsvand actions. Trans-women sit outside that narrow view of sexuality and gender. Adding religion and social norms to the mix, most if not all trans-attracted men have been conflicted at some point. It's rare that a man comes to grip when dealing with trans-women.

I went thru it for a number of years. This was before the popularity of the internet and social media. This was before we had forums and information at our fingertips. I just got tired of living a duality, sneaking around like a theif and worrying if someone found out. So, for the last 15 or so years I have been in open relationships with trans women. I no longer worried about what or how people think of me. Living your own truth is empowering.

[Prospero]

Hmm... pressure to conform. I have, obviously, been careful at times in my life. I used to have a lot of girlfriends at the same time and that was tricky. But not conflicted. I DO care what people think... but only people who matter.I am perfectly happy to date TS girls in public - even those who re not that "convincing" if they are good people. What they feel matters more than what random strangers think. My parents are both long gone so there is no stealth issues there.

[Jericho]

Hey Jericho... so you're suspicous of me... when i said i never felt conflicted i mean that i have always been prepared to explore and discover. As a teenager the only conflict was not getting enough. I have tried all manner of legal things - with men, with TS, with TV, with groups, with GGs... S & M etc etc... never felt any conflict... just discovered what I like and what turns me off. (Men turn me off - most else I enjoy to a greater or lesser extent though S&M is a very occasional itch and to enjoyed in a very light form) TS and GG's are the best.


Oh tuck in and pull yer zip back up, you tart!
If we weren't prepared to explore, we wouldn't be here, would we?
I'm not talking about that.

Beyond your willingness to explore, are you telling me you've never had doubts about your sexuality?
If you say 'no' , I'll believe it, but i find that, i dunno, strange.

[Prospero]

Well I am not sure what you mean by "doubts". As a teenager and in my twenties i was full steam ahead hetereosexual. But I then discovered other feelings. Didn't make me feel conficted, just intrigued - and so i started to explore. Tried bondage etc first with a GG dominatrix and, as i said before, the light version is all I am interested in (Was with a heavy duty mistress onetime who had a dungeon and a rack. It scared the hell out of me). But honestly it was all exploration. So the first TS dick was great. loved it. The first (of only two male) encounters was a turn off - though with a very feminine Chinese gay. So I tried one more time. This time with a big dicked black guy. I realised no way... but i was not disgusted, just not in the least turned on. Male smell had a fair bit to do with it - but also the whole male presence. And since then - no conflict (except with my bank manager) over my sexual behaviour.

[Instrumental]

No, my sexual interests have developed over time primarily garnering interest in new aspects. My mentality has always just been enjoying what I like and apathy toward whatever label that might make me.

[francisfkudrow]

Have you ever been conflicted in your own sexual feelings and desires? Yes.

Are you conflicted right now? Yes, aesthetically when I see someone I think is attractive, 92% of the time they are female. When I think about the kinds of sex that most interest me, they all involve dicks other than my own. (lol) I guess an interest in t-girls was probably inevitable.

How long were you conflicted for? Since the early 90's

How did you deal with it? Being someone with no moral or religious hangups about sex, I accepted the dichotomy as part of who I am, only really considering it a "conflict" in a detached "isn't that interesting?" sort of way.

Has your sexuality changed? Yes, every few years, I have a period where I think "well, men aren't THAT bad looking" (lol)

Can you identify the moment when your sexuality changed? Not really, but I can identify a moment that brought it to my attention that I liked dick. In my early 20's I saw an ad in Hustler magazine about how to enlarge your dick. The guy in the ad had a gorgeous cock, and I thought "my God, I would totally suck his dick!"

Did you go through a transitional period of adjustment or was it as easy as flicking a switch? I wouldn't necessarily call it a transitional period, because I don't know if it will ever really be resolved one way or the other.

[mosnv4567]

no.i always liked female&dicks.in my youth i had sex with women only.

[CoolAwesomeBXDude]

yes after my first ts experience in may i said to myself (does this mean im gay)

but as for now ive acknowledged the fact that im bi i cant deny it i love pounding these ts women

[RallyCola]

I really have tried to figure out why i immediately accepted transwomen as a normal part of my sexuality...and why even at a very young age, i never questioned whatever was between her legs or her birth gender. I've come up with nothing but because i have never really questioned it...i've always been secure with my preferences.

As I've stated, I can remember back to when I was 8 and I first found a "transwoman" attractive and I can definitely trace one or two of my preferences back to that time.

the only thing that i have really questioned over the years is my tranny porn obsession. there have been times that i feel that i have an addiction because i go through periods of mass hoarding (in the TBs) followed by culling to a few pivotal scenes, only to repeat the cycle. it is a bit OCD and i'm sometimes overwhelmed by the size of the collection, but then i miss the scenes after i delete them.

[RallyCola]

as far as the first time i was with a transwoman...as i have said before...it sucked.

i was so anxious and was a bit ashamed to be paying for it, so i was consumed with trying everything i had fantasized about that it was rushed on my part and it could have been much better. my only question is why the hell did i waste my money and act like an overzealous fool.

[canihavu]

Have you ever been conflicted in your own sexual feelings and desires?

Yes when I first starting having sex with transsexual women. I was young (early 20s and wasn't sure if it meant I was gay.



Are you conflicted right now?

Not even a little bit.



How long were you conflicted for?

7 years until I tried to give a BJ to man and could not go through with it because I was not attracted to him in the least.



How did you deal with it?

I would almost always go have sex with a GG after I had been with a trans woman.




Has your sexuality changed?

Not sure what you mean by this.

[dabaldone]

Let me add this! Around the fall of 1999, I stopped living a duality. I used to date cis women for "show". I had a rep as a womanizer and up to that year, I was afraid that someone would discover my secret desire for trans women.

I just got tired of faking the funk. I had an 8 year ltr with a TW and working on year two now. I have no regrets.

[transfan8591]

I did mostly when I was in my late teens
when i would pop an erection for a TS watching an episode
of Maury and it be one of those "Is it a woman or a TS"
specials or that episode of Pornocopia with Vaniity in it
or those episodes of Sexo Urbano with those sexy Travestis,
I was afraid that it would make me gay if I got aroused
by the sight of an attractive TS. I realized that I was attracted
to TS mainly because of their feminine features (large breasts, shapely asses, full lips)
A La, Eva Lin, Sarina Valentina, Foxxy, etc.
I was never attracted to their penises. So worrying about was I gay went out the window.
I eventually came to terms with my attraction to Transwomen and I haven't looked back.

[bimale69]

Let me add this! Around the fall of 1999, I stopped living a duality. I used to date cis women for "show". I had a rep as a womanizer and up to that year, I was afraid that someone would discover my secret desire for trans women.

I just got tired of faking the funk. I had an 8 year ltr with a TW and working on year two now. I have no regrets.
Man, that's awesome, my own relationship has been going on for 5 years and has only gotten better,, her family has been good with me and mine has been welcome to her. you wont see me going back to GG women again.

[dunkiex]

I am who I am and I like what I like. For most of my life I was attracted to GGs. When I saw my first TS in a magazine, I thought she was so incredibly beautiful. Having moved and lived all over the world, I have been exposed to, excuse the pun, many types of beautiful women. For some reason, I always preferred the more exotic to the standard, white, female. I think, for me, that when you have a beautiful, feminine TS with a cock, it is just so unique. I loved eating pussy. There is something about going down on a TS and having her cock grow hard and then cum. I pleased her. That is a turn on for me. I can hear her, feel her, and see that I satisfied her. I am not attracted to guys. I always look at the girls' butts, faces, and chests. They do not have to be special, but I always look. So, I do not care if there is a label for me. I am who I am and I like what I like. What you identify me as has no bearing on my self image.

[Yasmin Lee Fan]

I live in a small town in South Carolina, and grew up in an even smaller town in S.C.. So I know what you are talking about. As long as I can remember ,I have liked cock. As a young teen, any time I had a chance to see any of my friends dicks, I love it. I remember spending the night with an older cousin of mine. That night he showed me his dick. He was proud of how big it was. It was big. We jerked off together and he shot on of the biggest loads I've ever seen. I have always liked cock, but I have never been attracted to men.

I started sucking cock about ten years ago, after my divorce. This has usually been in adult theaters . But I still have no attraction to men other than their dicks. I discovered the TS world after watching one of Joey Siveras vids. I think it was Road Trip 11 . The first one with Yasmin Lee. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Here was this beautiful creature who looked like a beautiful woman, but had this awesome cock. I had seen TS porn before in video arcades etc. , but the girls were usually unattractive with small dicks that never got hard. Watching this video got me hooked.

Since then I too have felt guilty and conflicted at times. A couple of times I went and traded in my she mail DVDs only to later replace them. Now I have a large collection. I am also a part time artist and I do a lot of TS art. The TS world for me is primarily one of fantasy. It's not an addiction. I watch a video once or twice a week and every couple of months I go to a larger city and get the real thing. It's just something that makes this life more interesting.

[jamesedwards]

Not in the least

Me either, I'm just a freaky motha fucka! I only hang around pure freaks and prudes I don't even talk to.

[giovanni_hotel]

Isn't this another Am-I-Gay thread??
http://i.imgur.com/0OQu6.gif

[fred41]

Isn't this another Am-I-Gay thread??
http://i.imgur.com/0OQu6.gif

I don't think so. A lot of the "am I gay?" threads seem to be created by guys who need affirmation by other individuals that they are still "straight". This thread seems to be more about the different journeys people took to get to their present state of mind.

[Rusty Eldora]

Every time I hear the Katy Perry song "I kissed a girl" I really think Tgirls and all the fun that they are.

I still like both, but my attractions are different. It is more difficult for me to get hard with a tgirl, but my total attraction is very high. There is a fem line that if the tgirl doesn't vibe fem, I don't partake.

[giovanni_hotel]

If a fem TS(to me) slips her tongue and grabs my dick, I'm ready to go!

[STARTUP999]

Early in my sexual exploration l I would only have sex with girls that had implants, even then I immediately after orgasasm I would feel a wave of guilt. Often I would have sex with a GG as soon as I possibly could just to "prove" to myself I was straight.

Later I tried TG girls who were only had hormone boobies then some flat ones. Once I was got picked up by an Asian TG who the dark strobing light of a Hollywood TG pick joint l thought a very pretty TS.

She took me back to her apt. without even asking for money and French kissed me! I thought I had fallen in love. As she was penetrating me doggie style I looked back and the wig had come off and I realized the photo of the guy on the table was not a family member but "her" I got a wave of panic/guilt.

But then realized this was the same person who a moment before i was so attracted to and how silly and superficial my attitude was (I was in my 20's) and enjoyed the moment. When she finished gave her a big wet kiss and never worried about "is X gay?" again.

[STARTUP999]

Sometimes I amuse myself by watching the reaction of a TG escort who after giving me a facial I ask as seriously as I can, "Does this cum on my face make me look...gay?" The various reactions are priceless.

[RallyCola]

Sometimes I amuse myself by watching the reaction of a TG escort who after giving me a facial I ask as seriously as I can, "Does this cum on my face make me look...gay?" The various reactions are priceless.

you might be a little queer for asking. cum on your face is normal..especially if you have good aim

[curious196203]

I enjoy watching TS porn and viewing pictures bit I have never taken the walk on the wild side. I do worry that if that time should ever occur then I'll be confused especially if what they say is true about bottoming. (Male g spot)

[SheWantsTheD]

There have been some really interesting stories here. Its great to see that alot of us have quite a bit in common in our experiences and way of thinking.

I would like to know what perspective the girls here have on this subject.

[RallyCola]

i guess my indoctrination was just a bit different because it was born at a younger age than some others here and was not porn based. we all have somewhat unique circumstances that have yielded a nearly similar result, which is, in and of itself, more indicative of normalcy than anything else.