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GroobySteven
05-06-2014, 06:32 PM
He's a member of this board - but who is he?

http://www.xbiz.com/news/178754

Court Tosses Man's Bid to Marry 'Porn-Filled' Apple Computer



TALLAHASSEE — A federal judge has tossed a motion filed by a man who said he wanted to marry his "porn-filled" computer because he preferred to have sex with it.
U.S. District Judge Robert Hinkle's order denying Chris Sevier's motion was an attempt to intervene in a gay couple's bid to get Florida recognition for their Canadian marriage.
Sevier is challenging the provisions of the Florida Constitution and Florida statutes on same-sex marriage.
If gay people "have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts," Sevier said, "then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object."
Sevier, an Army combat veteran and disbarred attorney from Tennessee, explained to the court that his love for his Apple computer began after he purchased it.
"The computer was sold to me without filters to block out pornography," he told the court in a brief. "I was not provided with any warning by Apple that pornography was highly addictive and could alter my reward cycle by the manufacturer.
"Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women. Naturally, I 'fell in love' with my computer and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things, as a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm."
Sevier "has moved to intervene, apparently asserting he wishes to marry his computer," the judge wrote in a ruling dismissing the motion.
"Perhaps the motion is satirical. Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit. Mr. Sevier has alleged nothing that would support intervention."

Prospero
05-06-2014, 06:33 PM
You are a big tease Steven... but I suspect i know. Wasn't he banned for a while and now has a new name?

bluesoul
05-06-2014, 06:33 PM
franklin?

Nikka
05-06-2014, 06:44 PM
franklin

my my my!
05-06-2014, 07:00 PM
franklin?

Nah, I figure Franklin to be a love em and leave em type. He would get a new PC every couple of years. He wouldn't marry a pc. With plenty of other PC's available.

bluesoul
05-06-2014, 07:23 PM
^^ franklin needs but one computer to listen to his woes about porn and how it can be improved

martin48
05-06-2014, 07:25 PM
It's an Apple not a plain old PC - you are not allowed porn on an Apple :)

robertlouis
05-06-2014, 08:56 PM
Hmm. I have a five year old iMac. And I like it a lot. But I don't live in Florida.

So that's all right then.

Stavros
05-06-2014, 10:02 PM
Can we assume your nickname for this iMac is Cougar?

RallyCola
05-06-2014, 11:08 PM
if its not franklin...i'm going to have to say it is Prospero.

Prospero
05-06-2014, 11:15 PM
ha ha... I don't live in Florida.... and I have five Macs... so I'd have to be a Mormon

RallyCola
05-06-2014, 11:19 PM
ha ha... I don't live in Florida.... and I have five Macs... so I'd have to be a Mormon

hmm...i was sure it was you. is this multiple choice....can we have a list of people to guess from?

TSPornFan
05-07-2014, 12:18 AM
Do not slander me. I am not involved in this manner.

stan.smith
05-07-2014, 12:50 AM
Get between him and his Mac. Die!

stan.smith
05-07-2014, 12:51 AM
forgot to post this image.

TSPornFan
05-07-2014, 01:00 AM
forgot to post this image.

I love Zombieland.

RallyCola
05-07-2014, 01:30 AM
I love Zombieland.
That's because you'd go gay for woody

Turlington
05-07-2014, 01:34 AM
Whew! I don't live in Florida...

dderek123
05-07-2014, 03:17 AM
Well Franklin complains about porn as if he's married to it.

sukumvit boy
05-07-2014, 03:24 AM
"..disbarred attorney from Tennessee ..." that's three strikes... he's out!

robertlouis
05-07-2014, 04:47 AM
ha ha... I don't live in Florida.... and I have five Macs... so I'd have to be a Mormon

And four of those macs are raincoats. :dancing: