First Experience.... Guilt ?

[ronnyron23]

I'm 21 years old and have been with the love of my life for 2 years now. Ever since I was maybe 16 I have been totally infatuated with TS women, and it almost became an addiction of mine (don't mean to offend anyone).

So eventually the other day it eventually got to me and I decided it was time to act on my fantasy of performing oral sex on a TS woman. I couldn't fight it anymore. I totally disregarded my gf and went through with it.

My only intention was to give head to this TS woman I had met. She was clean. So after maybe 20-25 secs I realized this is totally not for me. I quit immediately and left.

So now 5 days later, I've came to the conclusion that my fantasy isn't what it seemed, and my TS "addiction" has come to an end, it's out of my system. The problem is that I have a good amount of guilt inside me for cheating on my GF.

Should I feel terrible for cheating ? Or should I be grateful that now it is out of my system and my "experimenting" led to me not having this addiction anymore ? Help Please lol

[breakingbad14]

Well it depends how you look at it, anything can be good or bad if you make it good or bad in your mind.

The way I see it, you needed to know, and now you do, it doesn't sound like it'll happen again, and now you can love your gf without wondering what if. So really you've done yourself, and her, a favour.

If you tell her there's a chance she won't understand, a good chance, and that she'll dump you, thinking that she can't give you what you really want, in her mind. She might not, it depends on the girl, but is it a chance you want to take? That's up to you. Good luck anyway. Remember nothing's ever perfect, you just have to make the best of what you've got.

[saifan]

Yeah, you should feel terrible for acting outside of the parameters of your relationship. Glad you "got it out of your system" and saw that it wasn't for you but this guilt will claw away at you over time.

Transsexual or GG doesn't matter if you decide to confess. It's a betrayal of your partner's trust more than anything else.

Good luck.

[nysprod]

Yeah, you should feel terrible for acting outside of the parameters of your relationship. Glad you "got it out of your system" and saw that it wasn't for you but this guilt will claw away at you over time.

Transsexual or GG doesn't matter if you decide to confess. It's a betrayal of your partner's trust more than anything else.

Good luck.

Absolutely not...if you had a one time experiment that didn't work for you, and you have no intentions of repeating, don't feel terrible and definitely say nothing.

Different situation entirely if you were planning to live a double life but in this situation, just go on as you were and forget about it.

[ronnyron23]

Absolutely not...if you had a one time experiment that didn't work for you, and you have no intentions of repeating, definitely say nothing.

Different situation entirely if you were planning to live a double life but in this situation, just go on as you were and forget about it.

Thank you a lot for the response. The only real problem I'm having right now is forgiving myself. I know I would never repeat this again, but it's still hard to accept what I did.

All I can really do is forgive myself, and be thankful that my "addiction" per say is gone and will not interfere with my relationship ever again.

[nysprod]

Thank you a lot for the response. The only real problem I'm having right now is forgiving myself. I know I would never repeat this again, but it's still hard to accept what I did.

All I can really do is forgive myself, and be thankful that my "addiction" per say is gone and will not interfere with my relationship ever again.

It may be trite but it's true...time heals all wounds. Good luck.

[Prospero]

Put it behind you. Accept that you made a mistake - a tiny one - and that you've discovered more about yourself. Don't be tempted to wreck your relationship by confessing to this tiny aberration. It's nothing. Let it go.

[breakingbad14]

By the way, this TS woman, was she an escort, or someone you know? If she's an escort she'll be discreet, if she's not, is there a chance your gf will find out?

[ronnyron23]

Thank you so much ! Both of ya'll, it helped a lot to get this off my chest and helps even more to have 2 open-minded people be so encouraging.

[nysprod]

By the way, this TS woman, was she an escort, or someone you know? If she's an escort she'll be discreet, if she's not, is there a chance your gf will find out?

Not important...obviously she was an escort...he should erase all records of any contact that was made with her...people who feel guilty tend to leave evidence around on purpose...if his gf finds this out, she's gone and there will be no getting her back.

[ronnyron23]

By the way, this TS woman, was she an escort, or someone you know? If she's an escort she'll be discreet, if she's not, is there a chance your gf will find out?

Yea she was an escort. There is no way my gf would ever find out.

[breakingbad14]

Yea she was an escort. There is no way my gf would ever find out.

Cool. Sounds like things have worked out for the best then really, you can just focus on your girl now.

[nysprod]

Thank you so much ! Both of ya'll, it helped a lot to get this off my chest and helps even more to have 2 open-minded people be so encouraging.

Just to be specific, I'm taking what you said about this being a one-off on face value...in no way am I advocating a situation where this becomes a lifestyle.

I would however suggest you take careful examination of yourself in that you should let some time pass before becoming certain your "addiction" has ended.

[ronnyron23]

Cool. Sounds like things have worked out for the best then really, you can just focus on your girl now.

I appreciate it man. Do ya'll see this as a mistake that I have to get passed ? Or an experience that is what was best to get out of my system ??

[nysprod]

I appreciate it man. Do ya'll see this as a mistake that I have to get passed ? Or an experience that is what was best to get out of my system ??

How much are you into TS porn?

[ronnyron23]

How much are you into TS porn?

Past 4 years it has been pretty much the only form of porn I masturbate to lol

[nysprod]

Past 4 years it has been pretty much the only form of porn I masturbate to lol

Then you have to seriously consider the possibility your fascination with it is going to continue...the situation looks to be more complex than first thought.

[ronnyron23]

Then you have to seriously consider the possibility your fascination with it is going to continue...the situation looks to be more complex than first thought.

Well I have a lot of sex with my gf, so the times that we are away from eachother I think the taboo of TS women is what attracted them to me.

I'm pretty confident that I can put my fascination behind, if so what is your thought on the matter ?

[Kevin Dong]

This always happens to new male "performers" in the industry. They think they can, they think they can, they think they can, and then...they can't.

I think you're just afraid of what people will think of you if they find out that you like TS. you don't become "addicted" from the age of 16 and then find out it's not for you after you had a cock in your mouth. It's not like you tripped and accidentally fell on it with your mouth.

Meltdown in 3,2,1....

[nysprod]

Well I have a lot of sex with my gf, so the times that we are away from eachother I think the taboo of TS women is what attracted them to me.

I'm pretty confident that I can put my fascination behind, if so what is your thought on the matter ?

Ok, look, I don't want to play amateur psychologist here...it does however seem obvious you need time to sort things out for yourself...and your gf.


Well I think "addiction" was probably the wrong word to use. I masturbate maybe twice a week, and I would jack of to TS porn bc there's no use for man on woman anymore cuz I got it all time.

I take no stock in your last statement, sounds like denial to me. You've been going with your gf since you were 16?

[ronnyron23]

This always happens to new male "performers" in the industry. They think they can, they think they can, they think they can, and then...they can't.

I think you're just afraid of what people will think of you if they find out that you like TS. you don't become "addicted" from the age of 16 and then find out it's not for you after you had a cock in your mouth. It's not like you tripped and accidentally fell on it with your mouth.

Meltdown in 3,2,1....

Well I think "addiction" was probably the wrong word to use. I masturbate maybe twice a week, and I would jack of to TS porn bc there's no use for man on woman anymore cuz I got it all time.

[Kevin Dong]

Well I think "addiction" was probably the wrong word to use. I masturbate maybe twice a week, and I would jack of to TS porn bc there's no use for man on woman anymore cuz I got it all time.

You'll be back on TS porn in no time

[rdrecker]

Don't tell your girlfriend anything and deny it if she gets suspicious no matter how guilty you feel or even if you get caught red handed. lie, lie lie. Don't tell anyone unless you are ready to come out public with your infatuation/attraction/addiction or whatever you want to call it for ts women. you have no idea how a woman scorn will act if she finds out. you could end up having to explain to your family and friends why your now ex is twittering, facebooking, instagramming etc. that you are gay. This advice may not sound sensitive or compassionate but i'm right.

[Prospero]

I am beginning to suspect troll

[saifan]

Gender doesn't have to play into his confession at all. More than anything else he broke the trust that his gf has in him.

Unless of course this is an open relationship which doesn't seem to be the case.

[bte]

If I was you then I wouldn't say anything to your girlfriend. Although I do suspect that your love for TS has not diminished considering you are on a TS oriented porn forum, plus you have been liking TS since you were 16. After a bad experience with sucking dick, you just don't say "nah not for me." Its not like eating a bad plate of food and then not eating anymore.

You say you don't have those feelings anymore, but give it a few months and they will come back. You will say to yourself, "Well what if it was just a girl. Or what if sucking dick is not for me and I much whether just top a TS."

[BBaggins06]

I'm 21 years old and have been with the love of my life for 2 years now.

Everything after this is superfluous and thus deleted.

Dude, you're 21. The chances are practically zero that this relationship is going to last forever even before the experimentation.

[benbutton1]

I had similar "concerns" as the OP when I was with my ex. I didn't cheat or anything, but I realized I wasn't as attracted to her as tgirls. Now, my basis is tgirls in porn as I know none in real life and obviously chicks in porn are generally more attractive, have more sex appeal and and it is fantasy but still.

I like girls, fantasize about them and (discretely) eye a hot one up whenever I have the chance. But when it comes to porn it's almost entirely transsexual stuff. Has been for a long time. I often wonder myself, like the OP, if the reality of it is no where near the fantasy.

I've chatted with real transgender women (not in porn) and the real life thing is, not surprising to anyone but me I guess, a far cry from the fantasy. So maybe the OP does just like the fantasy?

[nysprod]

So maybe the OP does just like the fantasy?

Nah, he's been into TS porn from before he even met her, maybe even before he had any sex at all...it's the understandable situation of someone who's young and confused.

[benbutton1]

Nah, he's been into TS porn from before he even met her, maybe even before he had any sex at all...it's the understandable situation of someone who's young and confused.

No I get that he's been into TS porn... but that's exactly the point. He's been into TS porn not real life TS from what he's said anyway.

But I get your point. I'm just saying he might like the fantasy, not the reality.

[Dino Velvet]

Should I feel terrible for cheating ?

If you are in a committed monogamous relationship then of course so. What excuse could you possibly have? It's between you and the girl who assumes you've been loyal. I don't think you deserve a Mulligan for being thirsty.

[nysprod]

No I get that he's been into TS porn... but that's exactly the point. He's been into TS porn not real life TS from what he's said anyway.

But I get your point. I'm just saying he might like the fantasy, not the reality.

It's always possible, but I suspect it's more more about the whole am I gay thing.

[giovanni_hotel]

Dude, you're 21. The chances are practically zero that this relationship is going to last forever even before the experimentation.

I was thinking the same thing. Dude is whining like he's got 3 kids and been married for 15 years.
It's your GIRLFRIEND. Not your wife, and unlikely to be.

If TS porn has been your 'thing' for 4 years and you jagoff to it exclusively:salad, you'll be back. Not that it matters.

Maybe it happens, but guys who suddenly find out they're sexually attracted and turned on by transgendered women don't magically turn off.

If you were single, your attraction to TS would likely be even greater.

You have a natural societal buffer in that it's not the easiest thing in the world to meet TS women, but if you don't have a problem with seeing escorts depending where you live it's as easy as a phonecall.

21 and done with one of the primary erotic stimulants in your life.lol

GTFOH. :hide-1:

It's fine to say you won't cheat again, but that doesn't mean you'll stop getting that vibe from TS chicks.

[lucky_luckyx]

I don't know...

Got it out of your system? But still back on Hungangels to talk about it?

Sounds to me that you just shit yourself and I'd bet my last dollar that you'll be back in (on) the saddle in no time once you pluck up the courage again!

[Robert66]

I'm hoping this guy is for real and does have these issues and not a blog troll. But anyway, kind hearted as I am I will give my two cents worth. Let the whole guilt thing about being disloyal go. Very few people have been saints all their lives and there's truth in the saying what you don't know can't hurt you. To have found 'the love of your life' at 21 is quite amazing, and I believe in 10 years time you'll look back and laugh at your own naivety, as most of us have done who have fallen in love so young.
Your more pressing issue, is your sexuality. As has already been mentioned you could be wrestling with this whole 'am i gay?' thing. The short answer is no. Gays are attracted to members of their own sex only, and the representation of that is someone who looks like that sex, whether it be male or female. Having an interest in transgenders means, yes, you are bisexual, because you are attracted by features of both sexes. You like a feminine looking being, with breasts, soft skin, and nice butt. But equally what turns you on is the presence of a cock. And look, there's no harm at this stage in admitting that to yourself. You don't have to advertise it. I think most of us on here have been in the same position. first took interest in TS back when I was about 17. Now 30 years on, I have been married, had two kids, all the socially acceptable things to do. I still engaged in porn watching and I would say 75% of it was TS based. However, when my marriage broke up, daughters had left home, I thought why not? And I can tell you it has been fabulous. Now, at 48 (I have to say I am in good shape) I attract the attention of ladyboys of 25 years of age and less. I am proud to say I am now engaged to a beautiful Filipino ladyboy and as soon as we can sort out the best place that allows same-sex marriage and of course visa obstacles we will do the deed. My advice to you, go with the flow and don't fight it

[MHarrigan82]

The OP sounds like a troll I smell bullshit.

[maddygirl]

Well, you cheated on your girlfriend... so YES, you should feel bad. That's never okay.

[SammiValentine]

I would bet not a troll. Just a typical 21 yr old that when gets to a more mature age, when not so suspectable to peer pressure will be back having a dabble. Probably around the late 20's , 30 yr old stage.

The initial post is a classic example of why i do not see "young guys".

i hope you paid the girl :P in such instance where she has done no wrong it sould be entirely her discretion if you get money back.

[theone1982]

I was thinking the same thing. Dude is whining like he's got 3 kids and been married for 15 years.
It's your GIRLFRIEND. Not your wife, and unlikely to be.

If TS porn has been your 'thing' for 4 years and you jagoff to it exclusively:salad, you'll be back. Not that it matters.

Maybe it happens, but guys who suddenly find out they're sexually attracted and turned on by transgendered women don't magically turn off.

If you were single, your attraction to TS would likely be even greater.

You have a natural societal buffer in that it's not the easiest thing in the world to meet TS women, but if you don't have a problem with seeing escorts depending where you live it's as easy as a phonecall.

21 and done with one of the primary erotic stimulants in your life.lol

GTFOH. :hide-1:

It's fine to say you won't cheat again, but that doesn't mean you'll stop getting that vibe from TS chicks.

Well said, totally agree with this

[ukcuriousboy]

You make a mistake, you deal with it, swallow the guilt and move on. Your cross to bear. Nearly been in the same position here many times.

[littlenookie]

Lots of good advice here, but first and for most don't feel guilty. Yes you screwed up but she's your girlfriend, not your wife. You'll get over it. Worst things have happened and trust me plenty of guys cheat so just the fact that you feel bad means you actually have a moral compass so good for you. Better to get it out of your system now.

Don't get so hung up on being "classified" gay or straight or bi or whatever. You are what you are so just be yourself. When the time is right you may even be able to talk to your GF about your tranny fetish. I am happily married and yes I would consider myself a tranny admirer, I go to the parties and I'll get a lap dance or two, but don't need to have sex with a tranny to enjoy them. I did it once and did not enjoy it but I still love trannies...that's who I am.

As you go on in life the temptation may continue to get stronger, we're guys....it's what happens. So you'll have to figure out how best to deal with it in your own way. For now enjoy your GF and your TS porn and be happy.

[mtbazz]

OP, I hate to tell you but you are not done with TS women or TS porn. I think it is safe to say that all of us guys here started out like you.

I first got turned onto the TS scene in my late teens or early 20's (I am 46 now), and was very conflicted by it all for well two decades. On the one hand I was incredibly turned on by TS women, but was also overcome by strong feelings of guilt after looking at TS porn, or after meeting a TS in real life.

Over the past two decades I dated GG's in the hopes that my "obsession" would go away, and while I enjoyed dating and having sex with those women, I still found myself interested in TS women and those urges would not go away.

It was really only the past 5-6 years that I've accepted the fact that I really only want to be with TS girls...It is what it is, and I am much happier and relaxed now that I don't subject myself to the mind games I was putting myself through.

My advice to you is to come to terms sooner rather than later with your interests. Enjoy spending time with your girlfriend, but if you find yourself into TS women do yourself a favor and don't spend the next 20 years fighting your urges. It's not worth it..

[nysprod]

OP, I hate to tell you but you are not done with TS women or TS porn. I think it is safe to say that all of us guys here started out like you.

I agree with your first statement but I think plenty of guys come into this later in life...I didn't start getting into TS porn/girls until after I was divorced and had a kid.

I'm willing to bet there are a lot of young men in the OP's position, especially now with the internet and everything else...and definitely it is a very difficult situation to be in on multiple levels.

[bluesoul]

I'm 21 years old and have been with the love of my life for 2 years now. Ever since I was maybe 16 I have been totally infatuated with TS women, and it almost became an addiction of mine (don't mean to offend anyone).

So eventually the other day it eventually got to me and I decided it was time to act on my fantasy of performing oral sex on a TS woman. I couldn't fight it anymore. I totally disregarded my gf and went through with it.

My only intention was to give head to this TS woman I had met. She was clean. So after maybe 20-25 secs I realized this is totally not for me. I quit immediately and left.

So now 5 days later, I've came to the conclusion that my fantasy isn't what it seemed, and my TS "addiction" has come to an end, it's out of my system. The problem is that I have a good amount of guilt inside me for cheating on my GF.

Should I feel terrible for cheating ? Or should I be grateful that now it is out of my system and my "experimenting" led to me not having this addiction anymore ? Help Please lol

i think what you should do is tell your girlfriend what you did- ON JERRY SPRINGER!!

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/3541349/jerry-springer-reactions-o.gif