An open letter to the HA community

[ed_jaxon]

The Goodbye thread has been somewhat difficult to read. My heart goes out to Miranda and I hope she is able find some peace. I cannot fathom what she is going through but hope she is able to cope with her troubles and live the life she hopes for.

The responses have been supportive and degrading at the same time. I appreciated Scott's resource thread and feel this is HA at its best, helpful and non judgmental.

On the other hand some post by people I consider friends have been profoundly disappointing.

In regards to Blkgxsr (Jix) I was especially disappointed as he is a friend I consider like a younger brother. He can be goofy and immature but that is why I like him, it makes up who he really is. But his response to Miranda's cry for help was cruel and uncaring. He has seen girls take their own lives and struggle just to survive. What he wrote could have made a bad situation much worse.

I waited a few days before we spoke and I asked him what was going on? We talked for a while and I think he understood what his words had done and how it made him appear.

Here was his response and he asked me to post it.

"It was brought to my attention by a few close friends the potential consequences of my actions. I am deeply disappointed in myself for what happened in the Goodbye thread.

I assumed it was a goodbye HA thread and I have seen many of these in my day so I did not think much of it. I was completely wrong and made a complete ass of myself. People in the community know me and know that I have more respect for life than I showed.

I want to say sorry not only to Miranda, but to all the members here who saw me for the young imbecile I portrayed myself to be. End of the day I fucked up badly. We live and we learn. I hope you won't look at me as a bad person although I have not given you a reason not too, I merely ask for a chance to make up for my actions.

I am sorry everyone."

BLKGXSR


Either accept his apology or don't. He understands why he is banned and accepts it.

My intention with this thread is for people to think before they post. Steven or Prospero can remove posts but only after the damage is done. HA can be a haven of support and knowledge for all of us but it can also be a place were people can hurl insults and barbs that have a lasting affects.

Stop trying to hurt each other.

[dderek123]

Great post man.

[Tapatio]

Everybody fucks up.

Not everybody knows it.

While he's paying the price we all got a little something out of this, whether it was something we thought we already knew or not.

And his character doesn't seem to be accurately defined by that one thread.

Timeout over?

[Odelay]

Seemed out of character for Gix, so I'm not surprised he misinterpreted the thread. I'm also not surprised he recognized his error and apologized.

[MrsKellyPierce]

;0):wiggle:

[BellaBellucci]

Seemed out of character for Gix

No. It really doesn't. Gix is all about the conquest. He only cares about the girls he can have sex with, and only while he can - which is why were aren't friends anymore. He sent me a PM the night he got banned (which I wish I still had, but it didn't save because I unfriended him) in which he seemed amused that it had happened, and then another to brag when Miranda returned.

I don't THINK he's a bad guy overall, but he most certainly has a lot of growing up to do. I don't think he should stay banned, either, but I think we should remember this next time he says something so tasteless.

~BB~

[SmithXXX]

I've known Jix for years, longer than most, but not as long as others. I agree that he should not be banned forever, but banned long enough to suffer the consequences of his immature actions. I along with a few others on forum have tried to help him along in learning the ways of the community. Some people learn faster than others, some learn easily and others the hard way. Jix likes to learn the hard way. His is a good kid, and has a good heart, but as most of us know....his mouth usually gets in the way of that. Seanchai was/is 100% correct in banning him, and I've spoken to him and support his call. Jix needs to prove he is sincerely regretful about his harsh uneducated statements to mainly Miranda, but also to the members of HA, and the Trans-Community.

[broncofan]

No. It really doesn't. Gix is all about the conquest. He only cares about the girls he can have sex with, and only while he can - which is why were aren't friends anymore. He sent me a PM the night he got banned (which I wish I still had, but it didn't save because I unfriended him) in which he seemed amused that it had happened, and then another to brag when Miranda returned.

I don't THINK he's a bad guy overall, but he most certainly has a lot of growing up to do. I don't think he should stay banned, either, but I think we should remember this next time he says something so tasteless.

~BB~
Well that's interesting. If that's the case, it makes it much less likely it was a simple misunderstanding on his part.

[GroobySteven]

Part of maturity and growing up, is being man enough to admit when you were wrong and to apologize. I've spoken off-line to him about this and lifted his ban.

As much as to entertain, we're here to embrace, educate and expand transgenders and those that like them and sometimes those of us who orbit the sun look too close can get blinded and not see the bigger picture.

[Prospero]

Ed ... good stuff and seanchai... a good decision.

ps I am just a moderator - and there are several of us.

[Felicia Katt]

Gix may be young and dumb but he is not just full of cum. He is very good friends with many girls here in LA with whom he will never have sex. He goes to dinner and the movies and does things socially with them without hangup or reservation. Many of them visited or otherwise cared for and supported him when he was badly hurt in a motorcycle crash a few years back.

I believe him when he says he misconstrued the thread and I believe he is sincere in his regret and in his apology. This can be a callous place and this thread, like goodbye threads before it, ended up being a microcosm of that as it always seems to be, with the soft spoken care and concern showed by most outshouted by the few with axes to grind or agendas to promote or self-aggrandizement to perpetuate, and discord and dysfunction at the end of it all.

I left this place for 2 years because of the constantly erosive nature of simple discourse here. I didn't do a goodbye thread partly to avoid the conflict they tend to seed and partly because I was afraid of a crop failure :) I came back, and so did Miranda, so in that small sense Gix was generally right, in entirely the wrong way, But getting things generally right, in the wrong way, and not without substantial collateral damage seems to always be the HA way. What's new is there is greater consequence and I support Seanchai's apparent goal for us all to speak more thoughtfully, and not just to shut up those who may fall short.


FK

[BellaBellucci]

Gix may be young and dumb but he is not just full of cum...

I believe him when he says he misconstrued the thread and I believe he is sincere in his regret and in his apology. This can be a callous place and this thread, like goodbye threads before it, ended up being a microcosm of that as it always seems to be, with the soft spoken care and concern showed by most outshouted by the few with axes to grind or agendas to promote or self-aggrandizement to perpetuate, and discord and dysfunction at the end of it all.

He Yahoo PM'ed me to gloat. Are you calling me a liar?

~BB~

[Idt20082008"]

Excellent post Ed. We are all different people that have at least one commonality, and those differences usually lead to interesting discourse on a variety of subjects. The commonality we have should lead all of us to support Transgendered women and hopefully be a resource, sounding board, and source of support for our Transgendered friends. I'm amazed at the speed that some threads devolve into into name calling, bickering, and outright nastiness though and to me this goes to something Ed was talking about - having respect for each other and thinking before posting- if BLKGXSR had done this, perhaps his hurtful post would've been deleted before he hit the send button, and some instances of the same would have been avoided as well. I like to think we are friends here, and we should act accordingly.....

[broncofan]

I believe him when he says he's sorry.

But I don't believe that he didn't know what he was responding to. Just out of curiosity, how many posts did he make in that thread?

None of this is to say I have an opinion about whether he should be forgiven or not. People who know him better and think he's a good apple will know infinitely more than I do about that. He may have learned his lesson, as people make mistakes.

[simonisthebest]

what he said was rude, but it's pardonable , its between him & that miranda chick,at this point its bigger than internet (BOSS):yayo::smoking


ps: kelly shore stop cheatin,its not right:yayo:

[christianxxx]

i am going to disagree here with everyone. Miranda's post clearly indicated some serious problems unrelated to porn and related to life in general. if you can't figure that out from her post then you are a complete idiot.

second, even after he posted one bullshit nonsensical post and then posted AGAIN more of the same nonsense, so you guys can quit with your he made a mistake....he made the same mistake twice.

third, i don't care if he is banned or not banned, but the support of people in here that I think are intelligent people is really strange to me.

[broncofan]

second, even after he posted one bullshit nonsensical post and then posted AGAIN more of the same nonsense, so you guys can quit with your he made a mistake....he made the same mistake twice.

I did say I don't think it was a mistake. The reason I asked how many posts he made in that thread is because I thought I saw four deleted posts. That indicated to me he did know what he was responding to. Also see Bella's posts.

The question of whether his apology should be accepted or he should be banned is a different one though. It's not really for me, and if he's really truly sorry then some people will forgive him which is nice.

[GroobySteven]

second, even after he posted one bullshit nonsensical post and then posted AGAIN more of the same nonsense, so you guys can quit with your he made a mistake....he made the same mistake twice.


His repeat posts weren't about Miranda but the guys/mods who'd berated him.

[francisfkudrow]

Yeah, I have to admit I wasn't sure which way the Miranda thread was going at first; I considered that it might be just a "goodbye to HA" thread, but I had a bad feeling about it.

[robertlouis]

what he said was rude, but it's pardonable , its between him & that miranda chick,at this point its bigger than internet (BOSS):yayo::smoking


ps: kelly shore stop cheatin,its not right:yayo:

Ladies and gentlemen, we have another moron.

No, it isn't pardonable. And "that Miranda chick" has every right to be offended by this post too.

[Prospero]

I applauded Seanchai's decision to lift the ban on this clearly very immature, if not stupid, person. I also praised the post by the opener because it seemed that the kid was genuinely repentant. But I don't really buy his story that he thought this was just a threat to quit Hung Angels. If he thought that he simply didn't read any of the posts. Perhaps the talking to given to him by Ed might help him to start understanding the ned to read before shooting off with ill informed and insensitive remarks.

Simonisthebest's remarks are, as RL says in the previous post, more blithering stupidity. Sadly this forum does reflect the real world... and its wide spectrum range of levels of intelligence. .

[simonisthebest]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have another moron.

No, it isn't pardonable. And "that Miranda chick" has every right to be offended by this post too.

of course its pardonable, yall people buggin & act like he told her to take her life away or somethin:yayo: , who are you to tell if someone actions are not pardonable ?..

its was harsh words & he acted wrong but let's not make this situation more serious than it is....all i see is
miranda was fellin up & down & wanted to share her emotions with the community & was lookin for answers that's all..some people act like she was about to do the worst...calm down ,..for the start its was easy to figure that "goodbye" part wasnt about her life, but since yall people are such drama queen..:yayo:

[christianxxx]

His repeat posts weren't about Miranda but the guys/mods who'd berated him.

what's the difference? he still defended his original nonsense even after being told he was wrong and he had a second chance to read the thread.

[Prospero]

Simon just shut up you twerp. You come across as an asshole

[nysprod]

what's the difference? he still defended his original nonsense even after being told he was wrong and he had a second chance to read the thread.

Not comparing this to what Gix said (I didn't read his posts), but why did you feel it was necessary to say Kelly was full of shit when you started posting on the Goodbye thread?

[broncofan]

Sadly this forum does reflect the real world... and its wide spectrum range of levels of intelligence. .
I love this sentence. It almost sounds like a defense of Simon on account of his stupidity:). It's like, no matter how few or many people there are in a room, someone always has to be the dumbest guy in that room.

Simon, there's no excuse for your comments. Miranda's post was concerning enough that many long-time members here were worried about it. That makes a rude response to her unacceptable.

[broncofan]

Of course it's best if when someone apologizes they are completely honest about it, but there is one positive to take away from the apology. The fact that he's reluctant to admit he knew what was going on indicates he knows how indefensible what he did was.

It was just too difficult for him to admit he knew exactly what it was he was reading, because then all he could say is "I don't know what I was thinking". So he probably is at least remorseful if not completely forthcoming.

[tsmirandameadows]

some people act like she was about to do the worst...calm down ,..for the start its was easy to figure that "goodbye" part wasnt about her life, but since yall people are such drama queen..:yayo:

Not to be overly dramatic, but that is EXACTLY what I meant by it: there's a reason I spent 48 hours in emergency psychiatric care.

[GroobySteven]

... and that would seem to be a good time to lock this thread as it's just became irrelevant.
At the end of the day, your opinions after the fact, are worthless. Only one person has the kill switch on banning people.