Goodbye

[tsmirandameadows]

I'm not capable of doing adult work -- or much of anything -- anymore. I've been taking down my online presence and just wanted to leave a final note to the effect of "don't expect to see or hear from me further." I've just hit the logical conclusion of my life's trajectory and am consequently done with everything. I'm glad some of you enjoyed my content and/or me, and I'm sorry I can't provide more of both. Goodbye.

[saifan]

Wish you nothing but the best!

[Rusty Eldora]

Best wishes Miranda with your journey. I am sure you will succeed and get all of your wishes.

[bluesoul]

Wish you nothing but the best!

yeah same here

[nysprod]

I'm not capable of doing adult work -- or much of anything -- anymore. I've been taking down my online presence and just wanted to leave a final note to the effect of "don't expect to see or hear from me further." I've just hit the logical conclusion of my life's trajectory and am consequently done with everything. I'm glad some of you enjoyed my content and/or me, and I'm sorry I can't provide more of both. Goodbye.

You're scaring me Miranda...is everything else OK?

[bulldogtuck]

I will give you $1,000 payment tonight if you are in distress and need a hand.

[robertlouis]

Miranda, talk to me, please. Don't let it all end here.

[Reinhardt11]

im new here aand i dont know you or what its like ot be ts, but i hit the same "logical conclusion to my life's trajectory" many years ago. if i did what i intended to do i would never have had the chance to see life doesnt always turn out as you imagne and things can get better. you have nothing to lose by talking to someone. i hope you get through this.

[saifan]

Well I totally misread things I guess. There is always someone to talk to...
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

[robertlouis]

You've got mail - please read it.

[Infern0]

there is always help if you need it, if you have depression or something then talk to someone, things will always get better in time.

[benbutton1]

I too have felt the logical conclusion to my life's trajectory thing. It's strange to feel that way. No one should ever have to. But there really is hope. Things really do get better, even if it doesn't seem like it. I hope you hang in there Miranda.

As others have mentioned, getting help would be a great idea. There's nothing wrong with it. We are all in this together and we all need help to get through life. Wish I could give you a hug!

I can't comment on whether or not you should stick around with this scene in particular. Porn that is. That's your own decision. You got to do what makes you happy; what is best for you. But just know that though things feel impossible right now, and maybe they seem like they always will be and there's no point... It's just not true. You have a lot to live for.

This might sound like odd advice, but when I hit rock bottom, I found slight comfort in knowing things could only get better. And sure enough they did. Things get a LOT better. I also feel like a better person for continuing to fight when I did. And for reaching out to people before I made a huge mistake.

If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here.

[Quiet Reflections]

I'm not capable of doing adult work -- or much of anything -- anymore. I've been taking down my online presence and just wanted to leave a final note to the effect of "don't expect to see or hear from me further." I've just hit the logical conclusion of my life's trajectory and am consequently done with everything. I'm glad some of you enjoyed my content and/or me, and I'm sorry I can't provide more of both. Goodbye.
that sucks. you will be missed.

[Merkurie]

Please reach out for help.
Your "life's trajectory" has certainly not reached any "logical conclusion".

[Jamie French]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3ZA-_kWGGc&feature=youtu.be&t=53s

[Ben]

Does anyone know Miranda??????????

[Rivz]

Listen I'm being serious. I've been where you're at.
http://theeriver.wordpress.com/2009/11/20/one-of-my-dark-secrets/

Suicide is not a joking matter. I'm a nobody, a nothing. Your life is your life. Your pain is your pain.

If you listen to me on one thing though...I beg you reach out and talk to someone. Hell feel free to contact me. This is an open invitation to anyone considering suicide, or knows anyone considering suicide. I'll talk to you. I don't have all the answers, nor the solutions. Feel free to talk to me.. cc0926(at)gmail(dot)com.

I hope I'm jumping the gun, I hope this is some stupid prank, and I'll gladly wear the egg on my face.

[pantybulge69]

Miranda,you're not alone,you are too important and mean too much.and you
have the strength to get through this..and then some.... whatever seems to be getting you down, you can deal with it, you're a fighter, so Keep on fighting, keep on pushing.

[rax123]

I'm not capable of doing adult work -- or much of anything -- anymore. I've been taking down my online presence and just wanted to leave a final note to the effect of "don't expect to see or hear from me further." I've just hit the logical conclusion of my life's trajectory and am consequently done with everything. I'm glad some of you enjoyed my content and/or me, and I'm sorry I can't provide more of both. Goodbye.

This is scary. Please choose life. please.

[robertlouis]

I hope this isn't goodbye, but if it is, take care. And it has been great to know you.

[EvaCassini]

her twitter is gone...i dont think shes going to respond here...

[robertlouis]

her twitter is gone...i dont think shes going to respond here...

Not replying to PM's either. I'm seriously worried about her.

[TSMichelleAustin]

Sorry to hear about this... I hope she can find things to help her. Its nice to see so many guys and girls try to reach out. I remember when I transitioned I had so many wonderful people around me. I know how hard this journey can be and I know we have struggles. Miranda I hope you find the hope and strength! Many of us have been through the same things in different ways. I never tried to do anything as an adult but did as a teen. I felt like nothing was out there. I am so happy I have lived this life to the fullest through the good and bad.

I will continue to say this and speak out, porn is not a place for girls early in their transition. It fucks with your head and can mess up your transition and ur view on the world, life and people!!! We are transitioning into women, so we go through puberty again, and sex working can mess that journey up. Much love and its great to see so many of you supporting Miranda.

[Kevin Dong]

meltdown

[goatman]

Miranda, believe me, it gets better. You are an amazing and unique person full of talent, intelligence, charm, & radiant beauty! You've barely even completed the first third of your life...There are so many experiences, triumphs, & loving people in just a small stretch of time. Just talk to someone. Please.

[bulldogtuck]

her twitter is gone...i dont think shes going to respond here...

One of these days I'm coming to Dallas to give you a sizeble donation.

[MrsKellyPierce]

Miranda life changes..by the month..give yourself time to breathe..

Seek someone that can uplift your thoughts.

[MrsKellyPierce]

I like how people are mocking her..asshats..

Look what happen to Bridget..it isn't very funny

[Ben in LA]

Deleted...never mind...

[robertlouis]

One of these days I'm coming to Dallas to give you a sizeble donation.

You might just be a cunt. Piss off.

[Ben in LA]

Sorry about Briget - I still haven't deleted her from my Twitter follows - but killing yourself because a man doesn't love you is just...?

Prolly gonna get flak for this...

[MrsKellyPierce]

Sorry about Briget - I still haven't deleted her from my Twitter follows - but killing yourself because a man doesn't love you is just...?

Prolly gonna get flak for this... People do a lot of crazy things when their drunk..hormones - drinking - and if you already suffer from depression is a nasty mix. Plus she was messing around in the adult world which can be very daunting for girls.

Gender dysphoria can mess with you. I'm a very stable person, but I remember when my hubby said to my stomach looks weird from the side from certain angles like I almost have a tiny beer belly even though I'm toned/skinny. It made me so nervous to walk around in a bikini after I would cover my stomach so noone could see me from the side at the beach when I'm walking.

It's a very powerful thing dysphoria.

[EvaCassini]

has anyone heard from her other than her making this thread?

From the looks of things, any and all communication has ceased. Only places, as far as I've seen and know that she had any comms was here and twitter. Her twitter is down and again, no response here yet.

Suicide is a possibility, but perhaps she didn't want any connections to the porn world anymore via here and her now old twitter.


---Also...dude, who replied to my first post in this thread...i understand what you said and that's dandy, whether real or jest...but this thread is not the proper place to say that. Time and place, buddy.

[robertlouis]

has anyone heard from her other than her making this thread?

From the looks of things, any and all communication has ceased. Only places, as far as I've seen and know that she had any comms was here and twitter. Her twitter is down and again, no response here yet.

Suicide is a possibility, but perhaps she didn't want any connections to the porn world anymore via here and her now old twitter.


---Also...dude, who replied to my first post in this thread...i understand what you said and that's dandy, whether real or jest...but this thread is not the proper place to say that. Time and place, buddy.

Miranda and I talked a lot via pm on twitter and she shared some of her troubles with me. The fact that she's closed that down and isn't responding to anything at all is really scaring me. Anyone in the Bay area able to help?

[robertlouis]

---Also...dude, who replied to my first post in this thread...i understand what you said and that's dandy, whether real or jest...but this thread is not the proper place to say that. Time and place, buddy.

I replied to him, hastily and angrily, but in these sad circumstances, appropriately. Let's hope he's learned a lesson. All too typical of some of the idiots in this place.

[robertlouis]

Miranda and I talked a lot via pm on twitter and she shared some of her troubles with me. The fact that she's closed that down and isn't responding to anything at all is really scaring me. Anyone in the Bay area able to help?

I'm a bit uncomfortable with sharing this but if it means that someone comes forward who can somehow help it will be worth it.

[Ananke]

Miranda, we love you for your personality especially and I believe there is always something out there for everyone, whatever happens. I hope you will find a way.....

[Prospero]

Oh jeez.... Miranda... come on if you are reading this. PMs on the way too. But you are wonderful and bright and beautiful. Take a trip over here. You are valued. We'll make this online friendship real - and just hang out, have some fun, laugh, chill. You are a great human being. Please recognise the genuine affection that a lot of people here feel for you and do not give way to despair.

[BellaBellucci]

I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about taking my life every day. Having a son is the only thing that keeps me breathing. And I certainly am constantly mulling retirement. This industry used to be easy money to do a very difficult thing: transition. Now, many of us are barely scraping by. I don't even want to discuss how bad it is.

The idea that the world doesn't value anything you have to offer enough to even allow for even a modest living really does a number on one's self esteem and causes one to necessarily take on a 'me against the world' mentality to survive... until they tire of fighting the constant subjugation, financial struggle, and betrayal that comes with it, regardless of how accomplished one is.

Some of us are just too good for this world. That's the honest truth. Nobody wants to see a person kill themselves, but I'd like to know where all the well-wishers were when they could have made a difference. Probably stealing a struggling girl's videos from tube sites.

One can't live without a living. It's the ultimate rejection.

~BB~

[robertlouis]

I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about taking my life every day. Having a son is the only thing that keeps me breathing. And I certainly am constantly mulling retirement. This industry used to be easy money to do a very difficult thing: transition. Now, many of us are barely scraping by. I don't even want to discuss how bad it is.

The idea that the world doesn't value anything you have to offer enough to even allow for even a modest living really does a number on one's self esteem and causes one to necessarily take on a 'me against the world' mentality to survive... until they tire of fighting the constant subjugation, financial struggle, and betrayal that comes with it, regardless of how accomplished one is.

Some of us are just too good for this world. That's the honest truth. Nobody wants to see a person kill themselves, but I'd like to know where all the well-wishers were when they could have made a difference. Probably stealing a struggling girl's videos from tube sites.

One can't live without a living. It's the ultimate rejection.

~BB~

That's sadly all too true and it certainly applies in this case. Thanks for your candid and compassionate insight, Bella.

Right now I'm trying something I stopped doing years ago because it's all that's left. Praying.

[TatianaSummer]

I just text her. I let you guys know if/when she replies. I Hope she is ok.

[robertlouis]

I just text her. I let you guys know if/when she replies. I Hope she is ok.

Did you get my msg about Miranda on twitter Tatiana? She doesn't seem to be responding to anyone.

[BellaBellucci]

People do a lot of crazy things when their drunk..hormones - drinking - and if you already suffer from depression is a nasty mix. Plus she was messing around in the adult world which can be very daunting for girls.

Gender dysphoria can mess with you. I'm a very stable person, but I remember when my hubby said to my stomach looks weird from the side from certain angles like I almost have a tiny beer belly even though I'm toned/skinny. It made me so nervous to walk around in a bikini after I would cover my stomach so noone could see me from the side at the beach when I'm walking.

It's a very powerful thing dysphoria.

It's more than hormones or dysphoria. In fact, Miranda seems quite satisfied with her life as a woman. I suspect this is about what she paid for that life. And I suspect it was everything. Being trans doesn't afford one many opportunities to make a 'normal' life, regardless of their accomplishments. We're (hopefully) the last victims of a bigoted world.

I hope she's reading this and I hope she realizes that she is definitely not alone.

~BB~

[robertlouis]

I've been up all night trying to contact Miranda but I have to get some sleep. Good luck everyone, let's hope she contacts somebody soon.

[robertlouis]

I know she was lurking here till a couple of hours ago, but not responding. Whether the messages of support and comfort have helped or not she must have read at least some of them. Let's hope.

[TatianaSummer]

Did you get my msg about Miranda on twitter Tatiana? She doesn't seem to be responding to anyone.

sorry I just did and replied to you. I will call her tomorrow if she doesn't text me.

[BellaBellucci]

This shit happens all the time, they always come back! ALWAYS!!!

Wow. Callous as always. *sigh*

~BB~

[Prospero]

Wow. Callous as always. *sigh*

~BB~

Always some assholes.... BB.....

[TatianaSummer]

Wow. Callous as always. *sigh*

~BB~

Ohh he just made my black list with that comment.

[robertlouis]

This shit happens all the time, they always come back! ALWAYS!!!

Please fuck right off. Insensitive prick.

[STARTUP999]

Let's focus on Miranda rather than some insensitve comment.

Those of you who have industry contacts could you reach out to people she has worked for or others who know her personally, and get her address and have someone in the Bay Area check on her?

I sure hope she looks in on these posts and sees that she does not have to face what her challenges are alone.

[Prospero]

BLKGSXR.. keep your crap remarks to yourself or to other threads.,,

[GroobySteven]

Ohh he just made my black list with that comment.


Prospero deleted this before I saw it but I have had someone to reach out to Miranda.
As far as the asshat who calls himself Blkgsxr is concerned, he's banned. He's a fucking waste of time who has nothing to shout about and I've met him personally.
Just one of these guys who has hung around the scene, thinks he knows what he's talking about and is part of the inside crowd - and is a bit of an embarressment to himself. Don't bother coming to my house, son - or anything we run. We're about being positive, not your negativism which helps nobody but your ego.

[Prospero]

I doff my hat to Seanchai's greater judgement.

And I hope that the reaching out helps. Miranda is clearly a very vulnerable person and I hope she can be reached.

[Dino Velvet]

Miranda is clearly a very vulnerable person and I hope she can be reached.

Amen to that. Me too.

[youngblood61]

Miranda is such a sweet heart. Good luck Miranda!

[dderek123]

I wish her the best of luck. We sent a few PMs back and forth and she seemed really intelligent, sensitive, kind and respectful. Once she gets things sorted out she'll do well with whatever she puts her mind to.

[broncofan]

I'm not capable of doing adult work -- or much of anything -- anymore. I've been taking down my online presence and just wanted to leave a final note to the effect of "don't expect to see or hear from me further." I've just hit the logical conclusion of my life's trajectory and am consequently done with everything. I'm glad some of you enjoyed my content and/or me, and I'm sorry I can't provide more of both. Goodbye.
You are capable. I don't want to say something that sounds like a diagnosis over the internet, which I'm would not be qualified to give in person, but what you're saying sounds like clinical depression. Not the blues, not temporary melancholy, but the kind of catastrophic dip in self-confidence that goes with depression. I say this as someone who suffered with depression for 10 years and still struggle with it.

When you're depressed you cannot self-evaluate, and you have a persistent negative bias in how you look at life and everything around you. You also are not likely to believe someone when they tell you that you're a talented and intelligent person. You are. You might think, "well how does he know that, he doesn't know me". True, but it's come across in online conversation and probably comes across to people fortunate enough to have met you.

You're still very young. There's no reason to write yourself off because you don't like your current trajectory. Redemption comes out of the blue. Again, I'm not saying you have depression; just that what you describe sounds like it. You must know the difference between what you tell yourself about yourself and what other people see. What others see in you is mostly positive...don't let that be pressure but encouragement:).

[youngblood61]

This is so sad. Miranda you are a beautiful young women with alot of years left. Life sucks some time,be strong.

[The Piper]

This is a great great shame,losing such a lovely lady from the forums.
Good luck and best wishes to Miranda.

[stan.smith]

damn i was online when she posted this thread also read it too but never thought on it and never in a million years thought about the "worst". please miranda seek help from friends, family, people here or even a professional. theres no shame in that. i dont know u but I Wish u the best and advise u to please stay strong.

[nysprod]

People do a lot of crazy things when their drunk..hormones - drinking...I remember when my hubby said to my stomach looks weird from the side...it made me so nervous to walk around in a bikini

Was that his actual comment, that your stomach looked weird?

[luvs2lick1385]

Miranda

I know life can be hard at times, lord knows I've been thru enough shit.
Not only does talking help, but talking to someone with the veil of anonymity can be an even bigger help. I find that not knowing a person will help you open up. PLEASE don't do anything rash. If I can help you I would be here for you anytime you need. PLEASE TALK TO ME.

[Rusty Eldora]

Miranda and I talked a lot via pm on twitter and she shared some of her troubles with me. The fact that she's closed that down and isn't responding to anything at all is really scaring me. Anyone in the Bay area able to help?

She was pretty active on FB, I thought things were looking up near the end of the year, she decided to move to LA right a New Years. About 3 days after getting to LA she decided to move back to the Bay Area.

I got worried last night when I noticed her FB and Twitter were down. I PM'd her when she was online here but got no reply. (I am not implying that we were good friends, but we were 'chatting' occasionally on FB) My post #3 was to cheer her up as much as anything.

She has "dropped out" before but that doesn't lessen the worry. I SO hope she is all right, she really needs her friends to support her, even if she doesn't realize it. She has the promise of a great life. Miranda - we are worried because we care about you. -Rusty

[MrsKellyPierce]

Was that his actual comment, that your stomach looked weird?

He said it looks like I have a "small" beer belly at times from certain angles even though I'm toned and skinny. It's just part of being born genetically male, it's why so many girls get pumped to get rid of that. Obviously from the front it's not a problem.

[MrsKellyPierce]

It's more than hormones or dysphoria. In fact, Miranda seems quite satisfied with her life as a woman. I suspect this is about what she paid for that life. And I suspect it was everything. Being trans doesn't afford one many opportunities to make a 'normal' life, regardless of their accomplishments. We're (hopefully) the last victims of a bigoted world.

I hope she's reading this and I hope she realizes that she is definitely not alone.

~BB~ I was talking about Bridget to Ben's comment

[nysprod]

He said it looks like I have a "small" beer belly at times from certain angles even though I'm toned and skinny. It's just part of being born genetically male, it's why so many girls get pumped to get rid of that. Obviously from the front it's not a problem.

Picky lol

[Nikka]

lol........

[Prospero]

Nice pic Kelly but hardly the thread to post it....

[MrsKellyPierce]

I talked to one of Miranda's friends last night, I don't want to air her personal stuff.

I think she will be okay though. :)

The adult industry isn't for everyone. It really shouldn't be for anyone who isn't 100% happy being in it to be honest.

Miranda is a beautiful girl with an education, I hope she goes for the dreams she desires.

[sosed]

Wish you all the best in your life.

[NightmareX0666]

I wish her the best and considering how fast life was moving for her, I could imagine how it could feel overwhelming. Thank-you to everyone who kept updating this thread letting us know the latest, Miranda is a great gal who has the best people looking out for her on this board.

[Prospero]

I talked to one of Miranda's friends last night, I don't want to air her personal stuff.

I think she will be okay though. :)

The adult industry isn't for everyone. It really shouldn't be for anyone who isn't 100% happy being in it to be honest.

Miranda is a beautiful girl with an education, I hope she goes for the dreams she desires.


Thanks for this Kelly. Hope your information is accurate.

[Tina Francis]

I talked to one of Miranda's friends last night, I don't want to air her personal stuff.

I think she will be okay though. :)

The adult industry isn't for everyone. It really shouldn't be for anyone who isn't 100% happy being in it to be honest.

Miranda is a beautiful girl with an education, I hope she goes for the dreams she desires.



...I hope you are correct here Kelly. I too hope Miranda collects herself and finds a focus in her life. She always struck me as quite intelligent but a little fragile psychologically speaking; I don't think the latter quality makes for a good prospect in the adult or escorting business.

And as for the hateful comments, the posters should be banned.

[christianxxx]

yes I called her roommate here in LA after she didn't answer any of my texts. It seems she moved back to SF after trying to live here in LA for a few days and not being happy.

this is a tough business for anyone, much less a young TS girl struggling trying to make ends meet and get a foothold in this world. I hope she comes back.

And btw, posting a giant picture of yourself inside this thread Kelly is in incredibly poor taste and you know that.

[BellaBellucci]

It seems she moved back to SF after trying to live here in LA for a few days and not being happy.


L.A. will do that to a person. :lol:

~BB~

[nysprod]

I talked to one of Miranda's friends last night, I don't want to air her personal stuff.

I think she will be okay though. :)

The adult industry isn't for everyone. It really shouldn't be for anyone who isn't 100% happy being in it to be honest.

Miranda is a beautiful girl with an education, I hope she goes for the dreams she desires.

Miranda had openly discussed her emotional issues, which is why I became alarmed when I read her op...she also posted numerous times that she was happy doing porn.

I don't know if anyone is 100% happy doing porn or pretty much anything else, for that matter.

[BellaBellucci]

I don't know if anyone is 100% happy doing porn or pretty much anything else, for that matter.

It's all fun and games until someone loses a living. The business is tough right now. For most of us, it's not much more than a sometimes financially advantageous hobby. It makes an enormous difference in our enjoyment of the work.

~BB~

[crystalsopen]

I'm glad to hear that she is ok. And I think its really classy and brave that she chose to: say good bye, thank people who helped her and open up like that. The kind replies of almost everyone show that most people like her.


I talked to one of Miranda's friends last night, I don't want to air her personal stuff.

I think she will be okay though. :)

The adult industry isn't for everyone. It really shouldn't be for anyone who isn't 100% happy being in it to be honest.

Miranda is a beautiful girl with an education, I hope she goes for the dreams she desires.

[nysprod]

I think it is way too early to believe Miranda will simply be "ok"...given her history, it's probably best for her to speak with experienced professionals.

[christianxxx]

its no secret from just reading this forum that there are many 15 scenes per YEAR in porn in LA at most. That is obviously not going to be anyone's main source of income.

So that leaves webcam and escorting. There are some girls that can escort for years and be fine. But escorting can take a huge toll on your psyche and the younger you are the more this is true. Webcamming can be profitable but it is EXTREMELY tedious and repetitive. It's like being a virtual stripper every night.

So not having any money is soul crushing, and in LA that's doubly so. And making money escorting, camming, and doing porn can be difficult as well. There is no way around it, it's a tough racket.

Let's add to the fact that being a TS girl comes with public derision and scorn in many cases which can be tough to deal with.

I hope Miranda is strong enough mentally to overcome life's obstacles and create a good life for herself. I have never met her, but she seems uber-intelligent and that will help her .

[BellaBellucci]

its no secret from just reading this forum that there are many 15 scenes per YEAR in porn in LA at most. That is obviously not going to be anyone's main source of income.

So that leaves webcam and escorting. There are some girls that can escort for years and be fine. But escorting can take a huge toll on your psyche and the younger you are the more this is true. Webcamming can be profitable but it is EXTREMELY tedious and repetitive. It's like being a virtual stripper every night.

So not having any money is soul crushing, and in LA that's doubly so. And making money escorting, camming, and doing porn can be difficult as well. There is no way around it, it's a tough racket.

Let's add to the fact that being a TS girl comes with public derision and scorn in many cases which can be tough to deal with.

I hope Miranda is strong enough mentally to overcome life's obstacles and create a good life for herself. I have never met her, but she seems uber-intelligent and that will help her .

This. This. This. A thousand times THIS!

~BB~

[pantybulge69]

Hopefully Miranda has a strong support group (or person) around to help her
to get her through this rough period. Someone that she can comfortably
confide in, talk to, listen to, be a a strong enough influence. I think it's great
to have such a source around you at all times. Not just the harder times.
And perhaps if it's an atmosphere,person/people/lifestyle,occupational hazards
that's forcing depression lows then perhaps its' best to get herself enough
space and time away in order re-think, re-coup and better sort out
solutions that can best resolve an issue.
At this point i'm breathing a calmer sigh of belief to hear any encouraging news
that Miranda is ok.

[ed_jaxon]

We this is one of the thing I love about this community, we actually do give a shit about each other.

Miranda if you read any of this thread please let folks know you are good. We have lost a few friends along the way and we do care even if we have never met you in real life.

Hang in there and take care of yourself.

[BellaBellucci]

We this is one of the thing I love about this community, we actually do give a shit about each other.

We do? That hasn't been my experience. If people care, then how do girls continue to get to this point? :?

~BB~

[ed_jaxon]

By this community I meant HA.

And you know I like you. Just don't see you too often. You will be at the awards right?

[STARTUP999]

Thanks to all of you who have made an intelligent contribution to this thread. If she does surface I hope those in the know will let us know how she is.

I wish her well.

[BellaBellucci]

By this community I meant HA.

And you know I like you. Just don't see you too often. You will be at the awards right?

I'm heavily leaning towards no, actually. I'm not exactly feeling the love.

~BB~

[bigkid69]

Speaking for myself, there's a lot of times being a fan of any kind of entertainers let alone ones in the adult industry, I become detached and forget that there are actual living human beings on the other side of the screen. Forums like this one help remind us, or me, of this.

I hope Miranda gets better, she seems like a very sweet girl.

[STARTUP999]

Speaking for myself, there's a lot of times being a fan of any kind of entertainers let alone ones in the adult industry, I become detached and forget that there are actual living human beings on the other side of the screen. Forums like this one help remind us, or me, of this.

I hope Miranda gets better, she seems like a very sweet girl.

Nice comment. I doubt there are many porn sites that change people's world view or help them grow. Every so often this one seems to do that.

[GroobySteven]

For those who didn't read my "Open Letter" last week, this was was the final paragraph.
I don't have an answer but I'm open to ideas.


"How about we reach a little further?

How about we look at ways to “sponsor” or help girls develop their transitions through support, advice and surgery? How about we encourage even more tgirls to come out – and how about we look at ways to normalize them even further within our society. How about we investigate why so many models have such problems with finance and see if we can do something to help them manage that? Why don’t we look at why so many tgirls have psychological issues – depression and suicidal – and is there anything we can do to try and help them?"

[red-cyberman]

I liked her I followed her on twitter and has sent some messages and she replied and was very sweet. If you see this message Miranda I want you to know that it doesn't matter what you do in life just do the things that makes you happy and there will always be a better tomorrow. You are a good person and I am honored I had the time to message you and we had the time to share our thoughts. Have a great life Miranda.

[youngblood61]

This is so sad. Miranda you are a beautiful young women with alot of years left. Life sucks some time,be strong.:jerkoffIs there anyway I can delete this and start again? What an idiot, the jerkoff was not supposed to be at the end.

[GroobySteven]

Is there anyway I can delete this and start again? What an idiot, the jerkoff was not supposed to be at the end.

Fixed.

[youngblood61]

Thanks seanchai.

[nysprod]

So has anyone talked to Miranda today?

[youngblood61]

Miranda you are a beautiful young lady with lots of years left.Life is a bitch sometime, I hope things get better.:)

[darkrose2000]

Wish you Good luck.

[fred41]

She's a lovely,intelligent young lady...
the world really needs people like her...
I hope she can work through any problems she has and wish her nothing but the best.

[Rivz]

For those who didn't read my "Open Letter" last week, this was was the final paragraph.
I don't have an answer but I'm open to ideas.


"How about we reach a little further?

How about we look at ways to “sponsor” or help girls develop their transitions through support, advice and surgery? How about we encourage even more tgirls to come out – and how about we look at ways to normalize them even further within our society. How about we investigate why so many models have such problems with finance and see if we can do something to help them manage that? Why don’t we look at why so many tgirls have psychological issues – depression and suicidal – and is there anything we can do to try and help them?"


The problem is they have to want to get help, and talk. The only thing we can do is give them the resources to find said help, let them know they are not alone, and that they have worth. Being on both sides of the coin with suicide I applaud any efforts to help people who think the only way out is death.

This is cheesy but I think the Last Samurai had an awesome story about a man who spent his life looking for a perfect cherry blossom, and when the samurai dies he realizes they are ALL perfect.

[Rusty Eldora]

For those who didn't read my "Open Letter" last week, this was was the final paragraph.
I don't have an answer but I'm open to ideas.


"How about we reach a little further?

How about we look at ways to “sponsor” or help girls develop their transitions through support, advice and surgery? How about we encourage even more tgirls to come out – and how about we look at ways to normalize them even further within our society. How about we investigate why so many models have such problems with finance and see if we can do something to help them manage that? Why don’t we look at why so many tgirls have psychological issues – depression and suicidal – and is there anything we can do to try and help them?"

All boards change over time, however I feel that a year ago HA was more welcoming for the girls than now. I can't place why but there are less posts by the girls. Yes this board is about the Tgirl sex industry, but we need the Tgirls to enjoy being on here. We are probably part of the front lines where we all can improve acceptance one contact at a time.

Some do very well but so many are just scraping by. At the least they should feel appreciated for who they are, not just how hot they look.

[Ben]

All boards change over time, however I feel that a year ago HA was more welcoming for the girls than now. I can't place why but there are less posts by the girls. Yes this board is about the Tgirl sex industry, but we need the Tgirls to enjoy being on here. We are probably part of the front lines where we all can improve acceptance one contact at a time.

Some do very well but so many are just scraping by. At the least they should feel appreciated for who they are, not just how hot they look.

Rusty, I agree: "I can't place why but there are less posts by the girls." And: "... we need the Tgirls to enjoy being on here."

[robertlouis]

Rusty, I agree: "I can't place why but there are less posts by the girls." And: "... we need the Tgirls to enjoy being on here."

She hasn't been on HA, lurking without posting, for 22 hours. As someone who was probably closer than most, until or unless I hear something definitive, I remain deeply concerned.

[BellaBellucci]

All boards change over time, however I feel that a year ago HA was more welcoming for the girls than now. I can't place why but there are less posts by the girls. Yes this board is about the Tgirl sex industry, but we need the Tgirls to enjoy being on here. We are probably part of the front lines where we all can improve acceptance one contact at a time.

Some do very well but so many are just scraping by. At the least they should feel appreciated for who they are, not just how hot they look.

Actually, I think this site is more welcoming than ever. There are fewer girls because there is less money and more models than normal circulating within the niche right now.


Rusty, I agree: "I can't place why but there are less posts by the girls." And: "... we need the Tgirls to enjoy being on here."

Maybe it's because guys insist on focusing on the 't' in tgirls. This is a transsexual forum. The redundancy in that term here is quite unnecessarily othering.

~BB~

[robertlouis]

Actually, I think this site is more welcoming than ever. There are fewer girls because there is less money and more models than normal circulating within the niche right now.



Maybe it's because guys insist on focusing on the 't' in tgirls. This is a transsexual forum. The redundancy in that term here is quite unnecessarily othering.

~BB~

All of these discussions are relevant and worthwhile. However, the silence from Miranda herself continues to be deafening and deeply worrying. Any news?

[BellaBellucci]

All of these discussions are relevant and worthwhile. However, the silence from Miranda herself continues to be deafening and deeply worrying. Any news?

Kelly has informed me that she spoke to her and that she's stable for the moment. That's all I know, and I was really hoping you guys could hear it from her, hence I didn't mention it sooner. She must be busy.

~BB~

[Bopper007]

Kelly has informed me that she spoke to her and that she's stable for the moment. That's all I know, and I was really hoping you guys could hear it from her, hence I didn't mention it sooner. She must be busy.

~BB~

Thanks Bella, that's hopeful news. I am hoping for the best for Miranda. She always seemed like a beautiful person on these Boards.

[robertlouis]

Kelly has informed me that she spoke to her and that she's stable for the moment. That's all I know, and I was really hoping you guys could hear it from her, hence I didn't mention it sooner. She must be busy.

~BB~

Thanks very much Bella, very much appreciated. I don't know about busy per se. I suspect she's drawing breath and trying to build up her mental strength. But I would love to hear directly from her if that's humanly possible.

[Ananke]

For those who didn't read my "Open Letter" last week, this was was the final paragraph.
I don't have an answer but I'm open to ideas.


"How about we reach a little further?

How about we look at ways to “sponsor” or help girls develop their transitions through support, advice and surgery? How about we encourage even more tgirls to come out – and how about we look at ways to normalize them even further within our society. How about we investigate why so many models have such problems with finance and see if we can do something to help them manage that? Why don’t we look at why so many tgirls have psychological issues – depression and suicidal – and is there anything we can do to try and help them?"

:iagree:Let's all start to look at our own posts and try to be a little less confrontational and argumentative.
And that is valid for me too...mea culpa!

[scroller]

Fixed.

It's still in the quote (post #93).

[BellaBellucci]

Thanks very much Bella, very much appreciated. I don't know about busy per se. I suspect she's drawing breath and trying to build up her mental strength. But I would love to hear directly from her if that's humanly possible.

I was referring to Kelly. Her information is second-hand. Mine's third. :lol:

But yeah, it seems like the situation is stable. This is probably a good time for everybody to reevaluate how they treat people... especially here. I hope this serves as a learning experience for you all.

~BB~

[robertlouis]

I was referring to Kelly. Her information is second-hand. Mine's third. :lol:

But yeah, it seems like the situation is stable. This is probably a good time for everybody to reevaluate how they treat people... especially here. I hope this serves as a learning experience for you all.

~BB~

I agree wholeheartedly Bella, although I can't, thankfully, remember anyone hating on Miranda.

But it does serve as a wake-up call for all those who think it's ok to casually dismiss or insult a girl for her looks or anything else. People undergoing transition or simply dealing with the emotional complexities of being transgender can be fragile and vulnerable way beyond the daily experience and comprehension of most of us here. A little thinking time before you post can work wonders.

[BellaBellucci]

But it does serve as a wake-up call for all those who think it's ok to casually dismiss or insult a girl for her looks or anything else. People undergoing transition or simply dealing with the emotional complexities of being transgender can be fragile and vulnerable way beyond the daily experience and comprehension of most of us here. A little thinking time before you post can work wonders.

This is exactly what I meant.

~BB~

[robertlouis]

This is exactly what I meant.

~BB~

I know you did. x

[Prospero]

.....

But it does serve as a wake-up call for all those who think it's ok to casually dismiss or insult a girl for her looks or anything else. People undergoing transition or simply dealing with the emotional complexities of being transgender can be fragile and vulnerable way beyond the daily experience and comprehension of most of us here. A little thinking time before you post can work wonders.

Beautifully expressed and so true. There are far too many here who publish without thinking the most hurtful things - easy to do from the safety of your keyboards in faraway wherever - but deeply wounding to the very vulnerable.

Always think of the pain your casual words can cause and the damage they can do.

[robertlouis]

Beautifully expressed and so true. There are far too many here who publish without thinking the most hurtful things - easy to do from the safety of your keyboards in faraway wherever - but deeply wounding to the very vulnerable.

Always think of the pain your casual words can cause and the damage they can do.

I've also been in touch with the beautiful TS Birdmountain over what's happening with Miranda and have just received a msg to say that she's quitting the industry too. It's not easy for these girls. Please remember that.

[Ananke]

Who is this person who dislike all the latest posts????

[GroobySteven]

It's not easy for these girls. Please remember that.

Respectfully, it's not the adult industry which is causing the problems per se. Many, many, many of the TS girls have mental issues before coming into the industry or even transitioning (I'd welcome a study on the amount girls transitioning with pre-existing issues other than their transgenderism).

The adult industry in terms of photo/video shoots is actually quite supportive and open - but girls expect that the industry is going to a) financially support them more even though they are informed otherwise and b) lead onto greater things or greater recognition - which it may or may not.

There are models who can take it - and those who because of false expectations, cannot but in my experience it's not the adult industry causing these issues but the fact that many of the girls have depression, self-esteem and/or other issues before they come into it.

[Prospero]

I don't think RL was blaming the industry .... and as you say there are many girls with emotional or indeed mental issues who do make the choice to go into this business (or escorting) when they are clearly not cut out for it. I have met a few in the past who simply fell apart after a brief spell of escorting (and one who did go on to kill herself). Let us hope Miranda finds peace and strength and support wherever she is.

[Wendy Summers]

Respectfully, it's not the adult industry which is causing the problems per se. Many, many, many of the TS girls have mental issues before coming into the industry or even transitioning (I'd welcome a study on the amount girls transitioning with pre-existing issues other than their transgenderism).


While the Industry doesn't cause the problems, I think the visibility of being an adult performer does take a significant toll on a person regardless of whether they have other issues.

Put yourself in MTF transsexual shoes for a minute. You spend your life with societal messages that we're crazy for thinking we're women. Those closest to you often have the most difficult time with you transitioning and send some of the most hurtful messages.

Then you enter Adult.

You start getting tens to hundreds of messages a day from guys telling you are beautiful, amazing, etc. If you're not prepared for it, it can be intoxicating. You start hearing the things you've wanted to hear your whole life -- that you are a beautiful woman. Sadly it's not a self-esteem born from inside yourself, so the buzz will never last.

Then come that haters - sometimes it's other women - sometimes it's guys -- all the time they are trolls. They'll say things to tear a model down for whatever reason. Again, if you're not braced for this it can hit hard.

It's a roller coaster.

At least once a week I get a message from a TS woman wanting to be a performer - my advice is always consistent: unless you are well grounded and know in your heart of hearts who you are, don't get mixed up in this shit. It can destroy a person. The Capital "I" Industry won't cause it, but it still is a function of the porn world we live in.

[robertlouis]

Respectfully, it's not the adult industry which is causing the problems per se. Many, many, many of the TS girls have mental issues before coming into the industry or even transitioning (I'd welcome a study on the amount girls transitioning with pre-existing issues other than their transgenderism).

The adult industry in terms of photo/video shoots is actually quite supportive and open - but girls expect that the industry is going to a) financially support them more even though they are informed otherwise and b) lead onto greater things or greater recognition - which it may or may not.

There are models who can take it - and those who because of false expectations, cannot but in my experience it's not the adult industry causing these issues but the fact that many of the girls have depression, self-esteem and/or other issues before they come into it.

Just to amplify Prospero's comments, Seanchai. I recognise that in many if not most cases it's the emotional baggage and agony of working through being transgendered in the first place that causes problems for girls when they get into the industry. I don't want to delve too deep, but that was certainly a huge contributory factor for Miranda.

And as he also said, I hope she finds peace and a break from all her troubles. She's a sweet soul who deserves a lot better from the world.

[robertlouis]

And I applaud your suggestion about using the positive power of this forum to take practical steps to help girls in trouble. It might be via cyberspace but I'd be honoured to be involved.

[red-cyberman]

Wish you all the best Miranda.

[the_unnatural]

I hope you're ok, Miranda. You seem pretty awesome to me.

[SammiValentine]

Respectfully, it's not the adult industry which is causing the problems per se. Many, many, many of the TS girls have mental issues before coming into the industry or even transitioning (I'd welcome a study on the amount girls transitioning with pre-existing issues other than their transgenderism).

The adult industry in terms of photo/video shoots is actually quite supportive and open - but girls expect that the industry is going to a) financially support them more even though they are informed otherwise and b) lead onto greater things or greater recognition - which it may or may not.

There are models who can take it - and those who because of false expectations, cannot but in my experience it's not the adult industry causing these issues but the fact that many of the girls have depression, self-esteem and/or other issues before they come into it.

Regardless of ones mental state before starting work in the industry, work such as being a model/escort puts you on peoples radar and your going to get attention be it good or bad. It increases the chance of both, at the start you will get a hgiher percentage of bad compared to say 5 years down the line. To say its a cause is not right, but it definitely amplifies things.

I think its fair to say "many of us" get plenty of "not very flattering" comments in the early transition days. Thats a down side, a plus side is having got ballsdeep in the industry at that stage, and getting through the shitchucking stage (well most of it, it still comes, it always does if your put in a focal point) is that it really is one of the best things you can do to help speed up transition, financially etc.

I am fortunate to be a close friend of a very good pyschologist who has helped me through the bad times and I would advise that kind of help is a road any girl should try take to try help you. Another thing is patience, everything takes time, transiton, your look, how you feel about yourself, business, clients, popularity/fanbase and in my case family etc etc..:|

[sosed]

I know, this is porn site and forum, not LGBT supporting one, but in my opinion we are all here because we like or love tgirls. All girls here are rare jewels and very special for us. They are humans and many of them go through many difficulties and bitterness. Even if we disagree with them, we have to respect them as persons.

Maybe it is utopical thought, but it would be right, that girls in hard times turn here for advice or help, not run away. Who knows, how many of them are actually alone. Point is, that when someone show problems and hard times, it is detected and helping hand is given.

[EvaCassini]

While the Industry doesn't cause the problems, I think the visibility of being an adult performer does take a significant toll on a person regardless of whether they have other issues.

Put yourself in MTF transsexual shoes for a minute. You spend your life with societal messages that we're crazy for thinking we're women. Those closest to you often have the most difficult time with you transitioning and send some of the most hurtful messages.

Then you enter Adult.

You start getting tens to hundreds of messages a day from guys telling you are beautiful, amazing, etc. If you're not prepared for it, it can be intoxicating. You start hearing the things you've wanted to hear your whole life -- that you are a beautiful woman. Sadly it's not a self-esteem born from inside yourself, so the buzz will never last.

Then come that haters - sometimes it's other women - sometimes it's guys -- all the time they are trolls. They'll say things to tear a model down for whatever reason. Again, if you're not braced for this it can hit hard.

It's a roller coaster.

At least once a week I get a message from a TS woman wanting to be a performer - my advice is always consistent: unless you are well grounded and know in your heart of hearts who you are, don't get mixed up in this shit. It can destroy a person. The Capital "I" Industry won't cause it, but it still is a function of the porn world we live in.

I strongly agree.

Many girls come to me about wanting to get in the industry and ask me anything they can think of, but most of the time they don't ask the proper questions. So I lay it out for them very realistically. Breaking into the industry and maintaining stability in it is just like wanting to be a Navy Seal. If one is not self trained enough physically and mentally, one will fail and not become a Navy Seal. Ending up as an Electronic Technician or Gunnersmate.

Yes, as a tgirl, we do have some issues with our mentality dealing with our difficult transition. Every girl who has come to me asking to help them into the industry or even just advice about it usually are quite young ( 18-21 ) and/or mentally naive due to not having the proper knowledge.

I always tell them that one MUST be stable. That's the very first thing I harp on. Stable in life, transition, and financially able to undergo what doing porn requires.

The next thing I highly stress on is their transition, why they want to do adult work, and about patience. Many girls are not well informed about the facets of their transition, especially mentally, when considering adult work. They have stars in their eyes and can only see the outside glorified portion. They don't understand fully, the big hidden things we have to do to, in the very least, make it into the industry and maintain a stable career in it. Having an "it factor" plays a small part. The bigger player is how comfortable one is with their transition, how long have they been transitioning, and how much stability they have with sustaining they're transition even if one gets into porn.

As Wendy mentions, the visibility while being in porn is hugely underrated. Those girls looking to break in simply do not see it, because they haven't truly had any visibility. Once a girl gets in, she still has stars in her eyes but doesn't take into account her early transition, and negative/hateful comments enlarge exponentially the grief a girl comes under.

A new girl in the industry only has one thing to show, her debut. Without backing by oneself with skills, or others close by who are reliable with skills to help her out, it becomes very hard to expand on her work. Many factors play a part in this... I.E. living to far from LA, living in a high cost of living area, not having any means to any end, no back-up plan, no valuable skills... to name a few....

I have touched on this a bit in a Vlog I made for my channel and plan to make a whole video solely for the purpose of instruction to help out with collaboration from other stable transgirls.

To view this "touch" I made, watch the video below and I start talking about it at time stamp 5:25 ---

Condoms, Goals, and Porn Prospects - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpCIzEMaRHM)

[amberskyi]

Respectfully, it's not the adult industry which is causing the problems per se. Many, many, many of the TS girls have mental issues before coming into the industry or even transitioning (I'd welcome a study on the amount girls transitioning with pre-existing issues other than their transgenderism).

The adult industry in terms of photo/video shoots is actually quite supportive and open - but girls expect that the industry is going to a) financially support them more even though they are informed otherwise and b) lead onto greater things or greater recognition - which it may or may not.

There are models who can take it - and those who because of false expectations, cannot but in my experience it's not the adult industry causing these issues but the fact that many of the girls have depression, self-esteem and/or other issues before they come into it.

i think its real naive to think that sex work doesnt have an effect on ones mental and emotional self.
im a sex worker and would consider myself a sex positive feminist but im not going to sugar coat shit.this life is a hard one filled with many pitfalls and obstacles to watch out for. If the girl is smart shes going to do her best to avoid the dangers that cling to this industry but its impossible to avoid them all and it takes a very strong person to endure unchanged.
you can try to blame it on the issues associated with GID (and im not saying there arent) but we also see gg escorts/strippers/pornstars struggle with the industry and the impact it has on their life

[robertlouis]

Regardless of ones mental state before starting work in the industry, work such as being a model/escort puts you on peoples radar and your going to get attention be it good or bad. It increases the chance of both, at the start you will get a hgiher percentage of bad compared to say 5 years down the line. To say its a cause is not right, but it definitely amplifies things.

I think its fair to say "many of us" get plenty of "not very flattering" comments in the early transition days. Thats a down side, a plus side is having got ballsdeep in the industry at that stage, and getting through the shitchucking stage (well most of it, it still comes, it always does if your put in a focal point) is that it really is one of the best things you can do to help speed up transition, financially etc.

I am fortunate to be a close friend of a very good pyschologist who has helped me through the bad times and I would advise that kind of help is a road any girl should try take to try help you. Another thing is patience, everything takes time, transiton, your look, how you feel about yourself, business, clients, popularity/fanbase and in my case family etc etc..:|

Wise words as ever, Sammi. It's all good and that final para is absolutely bang on; you are indeed fortunate to have that sort of support access. Across the water it's both the cost and the ability to get to psychological advice that makes it so difficult for girls when they are at their most fragile. It takes enormous personal strength and determination to get through those earliest stages of transition, and it seems certain that nobody comes through it unscathed.

And I guess that when some of us complain on HA about some of the moronic and insensitive comments that posters all too often aim at the girls, that's merely the tip of the iceberg in comparison to the kind of abuse you'll get elsewhere.

Being transgendered is no joke, and when you hear bigots describe it as a lifestyle choice it makes me want to strangle them. Idiots.

[Prospero]

... that's merely the tip of the iceberg in comparison to the kind of abuse you'll get elsewhere.

....

Too true. I saw a transsexual - (albeit a very camp one)v... today in Oxford street and a group of office guys were yelling quite horrible remarks at her.

[Tina Francis]

i think its real naive to think that sex work doesnt have an effect on ones mental and emotional self.
im a sex worker and would consider myself a sex positive feminist but im not going to sugar coat shit.this life is a hard one filled with many pitfalls and obstacles to watch out for. If the girl is smart shes going to do her best to avoid the dangers that cling to this industry but its impossible to avoid them all and it takes a very strong person to endure unchanged.
you can try to blame it on the issues associated with GID (and im not saying there arent) but we also see gg escorts/strippers/pornstars struggle with the industry and the impact it has on their life


:iagree::iagree:

[sosed]

Wise words as ever, Sammi. It's all good and that final para is absolutely bang on; you are indeed fortunate to have that sort of support access. Across the water it's both the cost and the ability to get to psychological advice that makes it so difficult for girls when they are at their most fragile. It takes enormous personal strength and determination to get through those earliest stages of transition, and it seems certain that nobody comes through it unscathed.

And I guess that when some of us complain on HA about some of the moronic and insensitive comments that posters all too often aim at the girls, that's merely the tip of the iceberg in comparison to the kind of abuse you'll get elsewhere.

Being transgendered is no joke, and when you hear bigots describe it as a lifestyle choice it makes me want to strangle them. Idiots.

I agree. Is there any supporting group or organization or anything, where could young tgirls come and get all needed support, guidance and advises, which could be a base of support for them and which could monitor her transition and eventual work in adult industry and where could girls return in need or to get help and advice? Most important is, that girls are not alone. Many don't have family or friends where they could go.

In my opinion, even in forums as this one it is important, that girls get respect and positive experiences.

[MrsKellyPierce]

I don't think it's fair to say the adult world doesn't cause "any" negative impact.

[nysprod]

I don't think it's fair to say the adult world doesn't cause "any" negative impact.

Not saying it doesn't, because I wouldn't know anyway, but many things can potentially cause a negative impact...friggin high school can cause a negative impact...

[MrsKellyPierce]

I will say this the main companies that shoot for trans-porn are very respectful..there are lot of producers who aren't. Will make you feel like shit, abuse you, and degrade you.

[BellaBellucci]

Regardless of ones mental state before starting work in the industry, work such as being a model/escort puts you on peoples radar and your going to get attention be it good or bad. It increases the chance of both, at the start you will get a hgiher percentage of bad compared to say 5 years down the line. To say its a cause is not right, but it definitely amplifies things.

I think its fair to say "many of us" get plenty of "not very flattering" comments in the early transition days. Thats a down side, a plus side is having got ballsdeep in the industry at that stage, and getting through the shitchucking stage (well most of it, it still comes, it always does if your put in a focal point) is that it really is one of the best things you can do to help speed up transition, financially etc.

Actually, I found that the more transitioned I became, the fewer comments I received at all. Men liked me more when I looked like a boy in a dress, according to my income anyway, because they know that hormones affect one's sexual function. #cockhounds


I always tell them that one MUST be stable. That's the very first thing I harp on. Stable in life, transition, and financially able to undergo what doing porn requires.

Umm... weren't you homeless when you got into this business? :?


I will say this the main companies that shoot for trans-porn are very respectful

HAHAHAHA! That's cute. :lol:

~BB~

[EvaCassini]

Umm... weren't you homeless when you got into this business? :?


~BB~

No, I started to live with Jamie not 2 weeks after my first shoot she did of me. That 2 weeks was just planning to move from San Antonio to Dallas ( about 4 hrs apart )

Whilst in San Antonio, I was with my mom and step dad who were and still are very supportive of my life's choices.

[nysprod]

An appropriate song...

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=evapJ8q8NBo

Or here

http://vimeo.com/m/44087767

[SammiValentine]

Actually, I found that the more transitioned I became, the fewer comments I received at all. Men liked me more when I looked like a boy in a dress, according to my income anyway, because they know that hormones affect one's sexual function. #cockhounds

~BB~

haha i havent found that specifically but for sure
i still get people saying they preffered me in 200-2007 etc (basically when i looked like a romanian orphan on smack. (before ffs, boobs, early hormones, was "ill" through anxiety bla ) and its like yeeeea you just loved the manfat mmmmmmm x

[BellaBellucci]

No, I started to live with Jamie not 2 weeks after my first shoot she did of me. That 2 weeks was just planning to move from San Antonio to Dallas ( about 4 hrs apart )

Whilst in San Antonio, I was with my mom and step dad who were and still are very supportive of my life's choices.

That's not how I remember it, but OK.

~BB~

[EvaCassini]

How do you remember it?

I am quite sure I know the history of my life thus far.

Because when I used to chat with you, I was living with my mom and step dad. Then right when I met Tiffany, was when I was on my way for a truck job in Wisconsin. It didn't work out, so I came back to my previous home in San Antonio, went back to Dallas to hang with Tiff and "start a relationship", also met Jamie. Was there ( here ) for 7 days. On the 6th day I ended it with Tiff, realizing what kind of person she is, and Jamie and I, at that point realized that we were falling in love with each other ( after many deep talks between us during this whole week learning about each other ). 7th day I did my debut Yum shoot. Then left the day after to go back to SA, to plan moving in with Jamie, which happened about 2 weeks later....

Never homeless. Only time I was "homeless" was when I was "home-based" from Catasauqua, PA, but drove 18 wheelers cross country for about 4-5 months...before even moving back in with my mom and step dad in San Antonio TX.

[Rusty Eldora]

Has anyone heard from Miranda first hand?

I so hope she is doing OK.

[robertlouis]

Has anyone heard from Miranda first hand?

I so hope she is doing OK.


Nothing concrete and it all seems to be second or third hand. I also hope she's ok but won't relax until I can be absolutely sure.

[TatianaSummer]

Actually, I found that the more transitioned I became, the fewer comments I received at all. Men liked me more when I looked like a boy in a dress, according to my income anyway, because they know that hormones affect one's sexual function. #cockhounds

~BB~

Totally true! Guys love it when the girls look like a boy with a wig.
just look at the threads here, the threads with the most views are the ones of Fem Boys, TV, big cocks, and boys with wigs
here is the proof!
:whistle:

[nysprod]

Totally true! Guys love it when the girls look like a boy with a wig.
just look at the threads here, the threads with the most views are the ones of Fem Boys, TV, big cocks, and boys with wigs
here is the proof!
:whistle:

I've been saying this since day 1...if I was a producer working with an early in transition girl (no implants) I would bill her as a femboy and have her in a wig just so that she looked even more femboy-ish. The entire persona of who she is would be a femmed-out boy.

Other facts:

1. Most guys (around 70% or so) into TS girls want to bottom
2. Probably the same percentage want to see guys topped in TS porn
3. The vast, vast majority of guys into TS girls, top, bottom or verse, want to suck them
4. SIZE MATTERS in the TS porn world...guys want to see girls with big dicks and girls want to get fucked by the biggest dicks they can get

[nysprod]

BTW, you forgot about "Hot Latino Amateur CD's"

[ed_jaxon]

Ok Tatiana you are right but I would force myself to be with you. Ewwww pretty girl.

[RallyCola]

please see my signature for my opinion on all this "femboy" bullshit.

[ohioboy]

You gotta have sand and thick skin to be in the adult world. Just to be comfortable enough to perform on camera.... You have to want the spotlight.... Its why billions watch and only a few thousand perform

[fred41]

Totally true! Guys love it when the girls look like a boy with a wig.
just look at the threads here, the threads with the most views are the ones of Fem Boys, TV, big cocks, and boys with wigs
here is the proof!
:whistle:

Shemale Cartoons did pretty well on that page...so I guess we gotta go with guys also want their girls to be drawings.

[Tina Francis]

Miranda, look at these pioneering transwomen. Done long ago, darling. But still looking forward...I'm pretty sure every one of them is alive today.


Joh Bailey Hair Show 1990's - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxRHo1QSpIg)

[nysprod]

Shemale Cartoons did pretty well on that page...so I guess we gotta go with guys also want their girls to be drawings.

There's no question in my mind that a well known ts pornstar, or perhaps even a unknown but good looking ts, drawn as a sexy comic with realistic features, and with good writing and storylines, would be immensely popular.

Think of it being like a Lara Croft-type character who also gets into sexy adventures.

Now, whether this could be monetized or not is another question...but popular? No question.

[Odelay]

Miranda, good luck. Can't fault you for making wholesale changes to your life. Sometimes that's the only way.

I would suggest we give Miranda plenty of space. A barrage of texts, pm's, emails, phone calls, and very long threads are probably not what she needs. I've read here that she's alright by other people's accounts. That's good enough for me.

[Ben]

Miranda, look at these pioneering transwomen. Done long ago, darling. But still looking forward...I'm pretty sure every one of them is alive today.


Joh Bailey Hair Show 1990's - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxRHo1QSpIg)

And, of course, Jenna Talackova:

Transgender Beauty Queen Takes to the Stage For Miss Universe Canada Pageant - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A05rtQ6RMI0)

[Rivz]

How this post go from caring about Miranda to everyone's little agenda's about what the adult industry, and that guys like men dressed in wigs.

Saddens me.

[asianphoenixx]

I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about taking my life every day. Having a son is the only thing that keeps me breathing. And I certainly am constantly mulling retirement. This industry used to be easy money to do a very difficult thing: transition. Now, many of us are barely scraping by. I don't even want to discuss how bad it is.

The idea that the world doesn't value anything you have to offer enough to even allow for even a modest living really does a number on one's self esteem and causes one to necessarily take on a 'me against the world' mentality to survive... until they tire of fighting the constant subjugation, financial struggle, and betrayal that comes with it, regardless of how accomplished one is.

Some of us are just too good for this world. That's the honest truth. Nobody wants to see a person kill themselves, but I'd like to know where all the well-wishers were when they could have made a difference. Probably stealing a struggling girl's videos from tube sites.

One can't live without a living. It's the ultimate rejection.

~BB~

very true.

[asianphoenixx]

Sorry to hear about this... I hope she can find things to help her. Its nice to see so many guys and girls try to reach out. I remember when I transitioned I had so many wonderful people around me. I know how hard this journey can be and I know we have struggles. Miranda I hope you find the hope and strength! Many of us have been through the same things in different ways. I never tried to do anything as an adult but did as a teen. I felt like nothing was out there. I am so happy I have lived this life to the fullest through the good and bad.

I will continue to say this and speak out, porn is not a place for girls early in their transition. It fucks with your head and can mess up your transition and ur view on the world, life and people!!! We are transitioning into women, so we go through puberty again, and sex working can mess that journey up. Much love and its great to see so many of you supporting Miranda.

another great response.

I hope Miranda read these comments from you girls

[asianphoenixx]

and this is from me:

In life there are people that will hurt us and cause us pain,
but we must learn to forgive and forget and not hold grudges.

In life there are mistakes we will make,
but we must learn from our wrongs and grow from them.

In life there are regrets we will have to live with,
but we must learn to leave the past behind and realize it is something we can't change.

In life there are people we will loose forever and can't have back,
but we must learn to let go & move on.

In life there are going to be obstacles that will cause interference,
but we must learn to overcome these challenges and grow stronger.

In life there are fears that will hold us back from what we want,
but we must learn to fight them with the courage from within.

Be strong..be a fighter..be courageous Miranda

[tsmirandameadows]

Hey, I just got home from a stay in a mental hospital. I was there since Sunday night -- well strictly speaking since early Monday morning: was in a psychiatric emergency room Sunday night. I'll talk to you later.

[asianphoenixx]

Hey, I just got home from a stay in a mental hospital. I was there since Sunday night -- well strictly speaking since early Monday morning: was in a psychiatric emergency room Sunday night. I'll talk to you later.

:dancing:

sleep and rest well.

[Rivz]

Glad to hear your ok.

[BellaBellucci]

Hey, I just got home from a stay in a mental hospital. I was there since Sunday night -- well strictly speaking since early Monday morning: was in a psychiatric emergency room Sunday night. I'll talk to you later.

I'm relieved that you're getting well. Take care of yourself, and reach out to me if you need anything. I'm pretty easy to get a hold of.

~BB~

[dderek123]

Good to hear you're alright Miranda!

[Merkurie]

Glad to hear you are OK.

[tsmirandameadows]

I'm relieved that you're getting well. Take care of yourself, and reach out to me if you need anything. I'm pretty easy to get a hold of.

~BB~

It's not particularly accurate to say that I'm getting well. The 48 hours I spent in the hospital has honestly been about the worst experience of my life. All I can say for it is that I had no opportunity there to do myself physical harm. Unfortunately, the place itself was pretty emotionally/psychologically harmful to me. The other patients were frankly very scary, and without wishing to be judgmental it was deeply troubling to realize I was "one of them". The blunt transphobia that was integral to the experience was likewise not particularly helpful. Took me all of about 10 seconds to realize that this was a place I desperately needed to leave, immediately. In this case, the primitive nature of psychiatry actually worked to my benefit -- they can't run a test to see how fucked up I am -- as I was able to say what needed to be said to convince them that I was relatively stable and more properly treated in an outpatient setting. If this is what "help" looks like, I honestly don't know where to go from here. The upshot I guess is that I have a new medication to try and will be able to get limited insurance through Medi-Cal starting Feb 1st.

[Ben in LA]

Glad to see you responding. Hope all gets better for you.

[johnb]

Keep talking Miranda. Lay your head on our shoulders. We'll listen

[BellaBellucci]

Miranda, don't you think this information is private? If you're back on FB, please PM me.

~BB~

[Prospero]

I agree with BB that the deep details should not be for public consumption. But I am hugely relieved to see that you are still around. There's a lot of people here who care about you.

[tsmirandameadows]

Miranda, don't you think this information is private? If you're back on FB, please PM me.

~BB~

I'm not but I don't particularly care about the privacy angle, tbh. Like I said in my initial post, I can't do adult work anymore -- after 8 years of estrogen my balls have finally given out and I no longer produce even a drop of cum upon climax -- so it's not like it matters one way or another what infamy or stigma becomes attached to the persona of Miranda Meadows at this point.

[BellaBellucci]

I'm not but I don't particularly care about the privacy angle, tbh. Like I said in my initial post, I can't do adult work anymore -- after 8 years of estrogen my balls have finally given out and I no longer produce even a drop of cum upon climax -- so it's not like it matters one way or another what infamy or stigma becomes attached to the persona of Miranda Meadows at this point.

OK, I'm just trying to be helpful. And I totally understand what you're saying. I was in group homes when I was younger, and from what I know about them, mental wards are even worse.

... and one of my group homes had a molester in it.

Please remember that you have resources in other girls who are going through/have gone through what you are, myself included. Use us. xo

~BB~

PS: Weeeeed! <3

[tsmirandameadows]

OK, I'm just trying to be helpful. And I totally understand what you're saying. I was in group homes when I was younger, and from what I know about them, mental wards are even worse.

... and one of my group homes had a molester in it.

Please remember that you have resources in other girls who are going through/have gone through what you are, myself included. Use us. xo

~BB~

PS: Weeeeed! <3

I spent 21 months in a group home/treatment facility for "severely emotionally disturbed youth" as a teen, so I'm right there with you. I had been to a psych ward twice as a teen, but honestly the adolescent ward is very meek and mild in comparison to the adult ward. Not a pleasant experience and I would not recommend going, particularly if you are a transsexual who is still legally male. :/

As for weed, it doesn't do anything for me, lol. While pot isn't unpleasant for me, the sensation of being high, like the sensation of being drunk, isn't so profoundly enjoyable as to make me want to seek it out on a regular basis.

[francisfkudrow]

Miranda, I'm sorry to hear about the rough time you've been having, but like others have said, greatly relieved to see that you're still with us.

Even though I don't know you, I was actually worried about you over the last whatever number of days this story has been unfolding, and while you don't know this francisfkudrow character from Adam, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. I think many of us here share this view, so don't feel alone, talk to one of us.

[francisfkudrow]

Never homeless. Only time I was "homeless" was when I was "home-based" from Catasauqua, PA, but drove 18 wheelers cross country for about 4-5 months...before even moving back in with my mom and step dad in San Antonio TX.

I used to work in the Catasauqua area in the early 90's!

[tsmirandameadows]

So I've read through the whole thread now. Thank you to those who have been supportive. To be honest, I suspect any support is in vain at this point, but I do profoundly appreciate the words of kindness, support, and caring which have been said in this thread repeatedly. There were a few things that came up in the thread which I wanted to address though.

First off, I haven't had access to a phone and/or internet from Sunday evening -- when the cops and paramedics showed up as I was having a complete and utter batshit meltdown -- until about two hours ago, so I'm a bit confused by reports that I had told Kelly of all people that I was stable and okay.

Second, Bella's first post to the thread is absolutely, 100% spot-on accurate and simply one of the best descriptions of the deeply demoralizing, isolating, depressing and disheartening experience it is to be a transsexual in America today. As for the ensuing discussion about the nature of sex work, sex work is what it is, full of both positives and negatives, yet despite that it's still likely the most accepting and self-actualizing opportunity available to young transwomen: whether that is a good or bad thing, I'll leave to you all to decide. My experience with the adult industry has generally been quite positive. As Christian has pointed out, you can't expect to live off of shooting given the current economics of this industry, but given that limitation I have found the experience of performing in porn to be positive, and actually quite enjoy it. I suppose there is disrespect in so far as the nature of the business makes us relatively disposable, but that is a function of the business, as opposed to how the people who run it would like to treat those of us who work in it. In other words, given how I've been treated on a personal level, i.e. exceedingly well, I'm certain that were there money to be made in shooting me every week, we'd be shooting every week, rather than two or three times a quarter.

I must also say that the stresses of being a performer/star have been entirely manageable. A number of girls described a rollercoaster like experience with fan praise and rejection, and while perhaps it is merely a result of me not having been around long enough, I honestly cannot recall a single instance of a fan giving me shit or dismissing me in some way. In other words, the feedback has been all positive. The issue for me has not been the stress of being a star, but my underlying profound psychiatric/psychological problems. Were I just another tgirl -- rather than a tgirl with an inherited unclassified mood disorder characteristic of Bipolar II but with uncharacteristically long cycle periods, coupled with a history of long running trauma which has led to diminished psychosocial functioning and a likely personality disorder -- I'm sure I'd do just fine in the adult industry... were my balls still working.

And that's the final point I wanted to raise. I first started my transition EIGHT years ago. It's been rather interesting to be characterized as an "early transition girl" by girls who hadn't even come out to themselves, let alone others, when I first ordered some hormones off the internet. I suppose being thought of as early transition is just evidence of my abject failure to move forward on even the single most important goal of my life. But eight years of estrogen, although of dubious feminizing benefit until I switched to implanted pellets 13 months ago, have finally taken their toll on that which I need to be able to work in this industry: my testes. My testosterone levels are actually fine -- I don't take an antiandrogen, and I have no difficult getting hard -- it's just that prolonged exposure to natal female estrogen levels will gradually cause the testes to die. My fertility was gone years ago, but I could at least still produce some clear cum. Now though, that's gone, and it's not as if I can lower a spiro dose to get it back, and with the ability to cum gone, so goes my ability to work in this industry.

Honestly, at this point, I don't know what to do. I entered into adult work late partly because I wasn't feminine enough until now to do it, but also because I was fully cognizant of the limitations and demands of the industry, and wanted to see if I could find ANY other way to move my life forward. I didn't, so I went in to adult work, and ended up very much enjoying it. Unfortunately my mood started to cycle into a non-functional state right as my career started taking off, and now I can't cum, and thus cannot perform. Without adult work, I'm not really sure where else to turn at this point, and that's what really scares me.

[BellaBellucci]

I spent 21 months in a group home/treatment facility for "severely emotionally disturbed youth" as a teen, so I'm right there with you. I had been to a psych ward twice as a teen, but honestly the adolescent ward is very meek and mild in comparison to the adult ward. Not a pleasant experience and I would not recommend going, particularly if you are a transsexual who is still legally male. :/

As for weed, it doesn't do anything for me, lol. While pot isn't unpleasant for me, the sensation of being high, like the sensation of being drunk, isn't so profoundly enjoyable as to make me want to seek it out on a regular basis.

I won't tell you to get better, because I know that's dependent on so many variables, but I will say that I hope things GET better for you. I'm sure you're aware that life isn't a spiral; it's a roller-coaster. You just have to do the best you can with the ups and downs.

I too know how hard life is, but again, this is where true support is important. Please find a person or two worth talking to, even if it isn't me (as I don't really know you, even if I can relate to you), and take life one day at a time. I also know all too well how easy it is to get overwhelmed when you don't.

~BB~

[tsmirandameadows]

I too know how hard life is, but again, this is where true support is important. Please find a person or two worth talking to, even if it isn't me (as I don't really know you, even if I can relate to you), and take life one day at a time. I also know all too well how easy it is to get overwhelmed when you don't.


Meh, after getting home tonight, arguably the biggest support in my life told me that I'm too negative and too emotionally taxing to continue being friends with. Honestly, I can't blame this person -- I'm surprised the friendship lasted as long as it did given how erratic and fucked up I am -- but it still left me feeling that much more alone.

[BellaBellucci]

Oh, and I don't think an inability to ejaculate is a death sentence in the adult industry, only in the trans niche, and sometimes not even then. Just look at Kimber. And there are others.

Maybe it's time to focus more on non-gender-specific erotica instead of traditional 'tranny porn.' You won't make the same kind of money, but you'll still have a creative outlet. In fact, I have the same problem, and I'm making that transition myself.

Next time you're in L.A., you ought to let me introduce you to some people. :D

~BB~

[BellaBellucci]

Meh, after getting home tonight, arguably the biggest support in my life told me that I'm too negative and too emotionally taxing to continue being friends with. Honestly, I can't blame this person -- I'm surprised the friendship lasted as long as it did given how erratic and fucked up I am -- but it still left me feeling that much more alone.

I know that feeling too. But if they were really your friend, they'd accept you the way you are. It's their problem, not yours. I know that's little comfort, but the difference between you and them is probably merely the fact that you deal with your issues and are honest with yourself, and they probably repress. 'It's not so bad,' is the battle cry of the delusional. THEY are the ones with issues that they refuse to address.

Easy come. Easy go. Easy come again. I'm sure there are people out there capable of supporting you. And I'm sure some of them are right here on HA, ironically enough.

~BB~

[Infern0]

I'm glad to see you on here Miranda.

Bella is right in what she's saying, and to be honest she can help you a lot more than I can, as I can't relate to 90% of your struggle.

I hope you find a way through this and i'm sure you will. Have faith in the people around you, I am sure there are a lot of people who care about you a great deal, even if you might not see it now.

From my experiance, "professional help" is not always for everyone, especially it sounds like you were in some sort of hell-hole the last couple of days. Find inner strength and take strength from those who love you. You'll find a way through this.

On a side-note, your inability to ejeculate is not a deal breaker from what i've seen of the industry. However as many have said you are an intelligent young girl, i'm not sure the industry is what you need or want right now. Take time to consider other options.

Be safe.

[tsmirandameadows]

Oh, and I don't think an inability to ejaculate is a death sentence in the adult industry, only in the trans niche, and sometimes not even then. Just look at Kimber. And there are others.

Maybe it's time to focus more on non-gender-specific erotica instead of traditional 'tranny porn.' You won't make the same kind of money, but you'll still have a creative outlet. In fact, I have the same problem, and I'm making that transition myself.

Next time you're in L.A., you ought to let me introduce you to some people. :D

~BB~

Yeah, but Kimber is Kimber. If I were going through this two years from now, and was an established name, rather than someone who has had a strong debut and shows promise but is still climbing the ladder, then I could see maybe making the transition you speak of. But when I hear the words "not the same kind of money" and look at what my adult industry earnings thus far have been, it makes me doubt that making such a transition would be worth it lol. I hope no one takes this as me ragging on the industry -- I do feel it's been good to me -- but I was definitely still in the "paying my dues" phase of my career when it came to earnings.

[tsmirandameadows]

I'm glad to see you on here Miranda.

Bella is right in what she's saying, and to be honest she can help you a lot more than I can, as I can't relate to 90% of your struggle.

I hope you find a way through this and i'm sure you will. Have faith in the people around you, I am sure there are a lot of people who care about you a great deal, even if you might not see it now.

From my experiance, "professional help" is not always for everyone, especially it sounds like you were in some sort of hell-hole the last couple of days. Find inner strength and take strength from those who love you. You'll find a way through this.

On a side-note, your inability to ejeculate is not a deal breaker from what i've seen of the industry. However as many have said you are an intelligent young girl, i'm not sure the industry is what you need or want right now. Take time to consider other options.

Be safe.

In tranny porn, inability to produce a cumshot is generally an immediate pay cut and sufficient cause to not get you invited for further shoots, so I'm not sure how this wouldn't be a deal breaker.

As for alternative options, I may be smart and educated, but I'm nearly 30, have no professional work experience, or even the threads with which to weave the kind of narrative you need to tell an HR manager in order to get hired at the entry level. Furthermore, jobs at the bottom of the wage scale seem even less inclined to hire me, having been rejected by such prestigious firms as McDonald's, Target, and Safeway. The bottom line is that I don't have anywhere to go, and as my mood cycles yet again into another long-term depressive episode, I frankly don't have sufficient hope of my life ever getting better to continue to be patient about things.

[Infern0]

In tranny porn, inability to produce a cumshot is generally an immediate pay cut and sufficient cause to not get you invited for further shoots, so I'm not sure how this wouldn't be a deal breaker.

As for alternative options, I may be smart and educated, but I'm nearly 30, have no professional work experience, or even the threads with which to weave the kind of narrative you need to tell an HR manager in order to get hired at the entry level. Furthermore, jobs at the bottom of the wage scale seem even less inclined to hire me, having been rejected by such prestigious firms as McDonald's, Target, and Safeway. The bottom line is that I don't have anywhere to go, and as my mood cycles yet again into another long-term depressive episode, I frankly don't have sufficient hope of my life ever getting better to continue to be patient about things.

The part about being almost 30 and not knowing what to do with yourself is a familiar tale for sure.

Look, the first thing you need to do is concentrate on getting better. It's only once you can think clearly that you will be able to work things out

I've lost my job at a time when I was thousands upon thousands in debt, I went to go get food and card declined as the bank had hit me with charges, I had literally nothing and resorted to selling everything, TV, computer, phone, CLOTHES just to get food! Behind in my rent by weeks and dodging the landlord hoping not to see an eviction notice. Family and friends turned their back on me it was just me on my own, miserable, truth be told scared to death, but at some stage I had to decide to either just give up or stand up.

Sadly Miranda, this is life, and you are the only one who can help you.

I figured things out, got a student loan and government handouts, more debt to be sure but I was happy at college even as an older student, and came out of it in the end with a good job, career plan and dug myself out of debt and into a comfortable life.

I can tell by your posts, you are a lot smarter than I am, and would have a lot more options open to you, and if I can do it, you can too, you just need to find the conviction to get yourself out of this.

I'm not typing this to have a go at you, but I believe in you, and I don't even know you but I genuinely do belive in you.

[youngblood61]

Glad you are here Miranda. Have you thought about going back to School? 30 is not that old, and you may find something that interest you.:)

[Infern0]

Oh and also miranda, if you need help with anything, ask.

I would be happy to do you a professional level resume and covering letters etc, I am in recruitment, and certainly can help you with that. hit me up with a PM if you need help or advice. I'm not a weirdo, i'm just genuinely a nice person who wants to help

[Infern0]

Glad you are here Miranda. Have you thought about going back to School? 30 is not that old, and you may find something that interest you.:)

I'm convinced this is the way to go.

[tsmirandameadows]

Nah, I had defaulted on a Department of Education loan so I am henceforth ineligible for financial aid which depends upon a FAFSA, i.e. all financial aid, so the notion of going to grad school as a means to get a professional career started is out. And as a transsexual, I am de facto disqualified from nearly all work to begin with, so the notion that I can pinch and save at the bottom of the wage scale, and gradually work my way out of the hole I'm in is similarly unrealistic. Porn and escorting was the way out, but that's no longer possible. And this is all assuming that I can ever break free from the mood cycling which has characterized my entire life and which ensure that every 1-2 years I fall completely apart and lose whatever meager progress I had made in the preceding 1-2 years of functional behavior in a limited subset of the axes (vocational, educational, social, spiritual, etc.) which make up one's life.

[tsmirandameadows]

Oh and also miranda, if you need help with anything, ask.

I would be happy to do you a professional level resume and covering letters etc, I am in recruitment, and certainly can help you with that. hit me up with a PM if you need help or advice. I'm not a weirdo, i'm just genuinely a nice person who wants to help

I know how to write a targeted cover letter and resume designed to get me called into an interview. Likewise, I comport myself exceptionally well in interviews. Not knowing the fundamentals of job hunting and selling your marketable skills is NOT the issue.

I never had trouble getting work before I went full time.

[Infern0]

Nah, I had defaulted on a Department of Education loan so I am henceforth ineligible for financial aid which depends upon a FAFSA, i.e. all financial aid, so the notion of going to grad school as a means to get a professional career started is out. And as a transsexual, I am de facto disqualified from nearly all work to begin with, so the notion that I can pinch and save at the bottom of the wage scale, and gradually work my way out of the hole I'm in is similarly unrealistic. Porn and escorting was the way out, but that's no longer possible. And this is all assuming that I can ever break free from the mood cycling which has characterized my entire life and which ensure that every 1-2 years I fall completely apart and lose whatever meager progress I had made in the preceding 1-2 years of functional behavior in a limited subset of the axes (vocational, educational, social, spiritual, etc.) which make up one's life.

What qualification do you hold?

[robertlouis]

Just woken up to news which truly gladdens my heart; with all of the issues still to deal with, nevertheless, you're still with us, Miranda.

[youngblood61]

I hope thins work out for you. I think you are an intelligent young Lady, and a sweetheart.

[BellaBellucci]

Yeah, but Kimber is Kimber. If I were going through this two years from now, and was an established name, rather than someone who has had a strong debut and shows promise but is still climbing the ladder, then I could see maybe making the transition you speak of. But when I hear the words "not the same kind of money" and look at what my adult industry earnings thus far have been, it makes me doubt that making such a transition would be worth it lol. I hope no one takes this as me ragging on the industry -- I do feel it's been good to me -- but I was definitely still in the "paying my dues" phase of my career when it came to earnings.

Fair enough. I'm just throwing ideas out there. Personally, I don't believe we should have ever had a 'dues' system. We're entertainers. Advancement should be based on talent and profitability, so I totally see your point. It's tough out there for a bitch. The bottom line on financial survival, however, is that diversification is key. Many of us in the business have to find multiple sources of income. Every little bit helps, even if one does have to change their expectations.

I feel for you, hon. I really do.

~BB~

[dderek123]

Glad to see you back here again Miranda. I can't imagine the struggles that you go through from day to day. I wish you the best of luck. At least the weather is nicer down there than up in Canada. Here the roads and sidewalks are covered in ice!

Have you ever thought of being a programmer? That trade is offering a lot of jobs but its a really tough industry to be in. You seem clever enough though. There were a number of freelancers I've met that turned it into a profitable skill. Anyways just an idea.

[Rusty Eldora]

Just woken up to news which truly gladdens my heart; with all of the issues still to deal with, nevertheless, you're still with us, Miranda.

Yes Miranda, you do have friends that care about you. Let us know if there are ways we can help you. It is so good to hear from you.

[GroobySteven]

Oh, and I don't think an inability to ejaculate is a death sentence in the adult industry, only in the trans niche, and sometimes not even then. Just look at Kimber. And there are others.

Maybe it's time to focus more on non-gender-specific erotica instead of traditional 'tranny porn.' You won't make the same kind of money, but you'll still have a creative outlet. In fact, I have the same problem, and I'm making that transition myself.



You are absolutely right. It's not even an absolutely "No" for companies like ours.

[GroobySteven]

Yeah, but Kimber is Kimber. If I were going through this two years from now, and was an established name, rather than someone who has had a strong debut and shows promise but is still climbing the ladder, then I could see maybe making the transition you speak of. But when I hear the words "not the same kind of money" and look at what my adult industry earnings thus far have been, it makes me doubt that making such a transition would be worth it lol. I hope no one takes this as me ragging on the industry -- I do feel it's been good to me -- but I was definitely still in the "paying my dues" phase of my career when it came to earnings.


Miranda,
I've posted about this multiple times and refer to it in my blog posts (which I might need to make clearer). Hopefully others will read this and when girls apply to be models, many times I make this information available.

It's extremely rare or near impossible to make a living as only being a model in the adult industry. The economics simply are not there. There is no ladder to climb (or the view from the top isn't any different from the one at the bottom). The pay rates don't really rise much (if any) for established models who have a fan base.

In fact, models just starting often get far, far more work than established models because they're the new "IT Girl". This gives the impression to the model, that they're going to continue to be the "IT Girl" and get shoots on that regularity (again, I've preached this so many times). It doesn't happen, the shoots tend to drop off.

It's simply unsustainable for a girl to expect to make a proper living purely as model in this industry. She has to have other sources of income - and whether that's running her own sites/clips stores, working on cams, doing other adult work or having a non-adult job, they both take a lot more effort and commitment.

[GroobySteven]

" until about two hours ago, so I'm a bit confused by reports that I had told Kelly of all people that I was stable and okay."


Kelly? Who did you speak to?

[tsmirandameadows]

Miranda,
I've posted about this multiple times and refer to it in my blog posts (which I might need to make clearer). Hopefully others will read this and when girls apply to be models, many times I make this information available.

It's extremely rare or near impossible to make a living as only being a model in the adult industry. The economics simply are not there. There is no ladder to climb (or the view from the top isn't any different from the one at the bottom). The pay rates don't really rise much (if any) for established models who have a fan base.

In fact, models just starting often get far, far more work than established models because they're the new "IT Girl". This gives the impression to the model, that they're going to continue to be the "IT Girl" and get shoots on that regularity (again, I've preached this so many times). It doesn't happen, the shoots tend to drop off.

It's simply unsustainable for a girl to expect to make a proper living purely as model in this industry. She has to have other sources of income - and whether that's running her own sites/clips stores, working on cams, doing other adult work or having a non-adult job, they both take a lot more effort and commitment.

I'm absolutely aware of that and must not be expressing myself properly. I will say however that if we state the unspoken truth that prostitution is the primary income of most girls in the industry, then being a Kimber or a Sarina does dramatically improve your earning power. Likewise, as you point out, alternate income streams such as your own website, toy lines, etc. are key to making it as a performer, and much of that comes AFTER people actually recognize your name. Yes, shoot income is generally at its height at the beginning. What I meant by "paying my dues" was raising the capital and building the brand name to be able to pursue those alternate income streams, as opposed to magically getting a 3 shoots a week all of a sudden, which as you point out isn't in the economics of this industry.

[tsmirandameadows]

" until about two hours ago, so I'm a bit confused by reports that I had told Kelly of all people that I was stable and okay."


Kelly? Who did you speak to?

I hadn't talked to anyone. My last communication prior to being carted off had been the initial post of this thread. If Kelly had in fact told people that she "had spoke to [me] and that [I] was stable" then she was lying.

[MrsKellyPierce]

I spoke to a trans-girl and a guy who say they know you personally..something about San Francisco..and the girl said you were fine..not going to go into detail on here..and the LA girl is a pretty well known girl.

After I posted this on my page, because I didn't want you to do something irrational.

I really don't need to "Lie" I was concerned about your safety..that's it..

I never said I spoke to "you" I said I spoke to your so called friends

[tsmirandameadows]

The only guy friend I have is Radius. As for tgirls in San Francisco? Nina Lawless, I guess, but I don't know her well and we haven't spoken recently. Not sure what else to say.

[MrsKellyPierce]

I only reported you were fine from their mouths and you weren't dead. Clearly you aren't dead as they reported.

"Lying" the nerve..

[tsmirandameadows]

I only reported you were fine from their mouths and you weren't dead. Clearly you aren't dead as they reported.

"Lying" the nerve..

A broken clock is right twice a day. I didn't ask for concern: especially not yours.

[MrsKellyPierce]

A broken clock is right twice a day. I didn't ask for concern: especially not yours.
You didn't ask for concern? Yet you post a cry out post? Whether it was needed or not..I wanted to make sure you were okay...

[tsmirandameadows]

You didn't ask for concern? Yet you post a cry out post? Whether it was needed or not..I wanted to make sure you were okay...

And I'm telling you not to fucking bother. You are the last person I would want or accept help from.

[nysprod]

Miranda,
I've posted about this multiple times and refer to it in my blog posts (which I might need to make clearer). Hopefully others will read this and when girls apply to be models, many times I make this information available.

It's extremely rare or near impossible to make a living as only being a model in the adult industry. The economics simply are not there. There is no ladder to climb (or the view from the top isn't any different from the one at the bottom). The pay rates don't really rise much (if any) for established models who have a fan base.

In fact, models just starting often get far, far more work than established models because they're the new "IT Girl". This gives the impression to the model, that they're going to continue to be the "IT Girl" and get shoots on that regularity (again, I've preached this so many times). It doesn't happen, the shoots tend to drop off.

It's simply unsustainable for a girl to expect to make a proper living purely as model in this industry. She has to have other sources of income - and whether that's running her own sites/clips stores, working on cams, doing other adult work or having a non-adult job, they both take a lot more effort and commitment.

I suppose I can think of a few reasons why shoots tend to drop off as a girl gets more fans, but would you care to elaborate?

[MrsKellyPierce]

Lmao this is hilarious..good day..glad you are still with us.

[tsmirandameadows]

Lmao this is hilarious..good day..glad you are still with us.

Always the politician.

[Prospero]

Kelly. I suggest that you back off. For your and Miranda's sake. This squabble is unseemly and inappropriate

[sosed]

Miranda, it is nice to see you are here again. I know, this doesn't mean all your troubles are gone. I hope you have someone around, who support you and to whom you could trust.

Wish you all the best and that hard times will be soon over.

[TatianaSummer]

In tranny porn, inability to produce a cumshot is generally an immediate pay cut and sufficient cause to not get you invited for further shoots, so I'm not sure how this wouldn't be a deal breaker.

As for alternative options, I may be smart and educated, but I'm nearly 30, have no professional work experience, or even the threads with which to weave the kind of narrative you need to tell an HR manager in order to get hired at the entry level. Furthermore, jobs at the bottom of the wage scale seem even less inclined to hire me, having been rejected by such prestigious firms as McDonald's, Target, and Safeway. The bottom line is that I don't have anywhere to go, and as my mood cycles yet again into another long-term depressive episode, I frankly don't have sufficient hope of my life ever getting better to continue to be patient about things.

Miranda, there are many other options to get an income and to be at least able to pay your bills and live without doing porn. In my case I transition completely almost 5 years ago. When I moved to Las Vegas I didnt have a shit, I decided to do porn and I tried it. My experience wasnt the great so I needed to look for other ways to make a living. I knew there was a market for web cam models and for strong woman like me in the fetish community so I decided to do what I like, to be a Domme. Being a pro domina opened a whole new world for me and its something I have rely mostly as my principal income. I also decided to start my own business as a photographer which is something I love to do, and started getting things little by little. I also started an ebay store and started reselling and manufacturing fetish items. When one thing was slow I would put the time into the other. I also kept doing webcam shows for an additional income on the side to pay some of my bills. Clearly like other people have said, you need a few little jobs to make things happen. Thats why I wanted you to contact me so I could see what things makes you happy doing that you can make some money off from it as well. Life is hard but then again with the right tools things are much easier. I know how you feel, I was there once but I promised myself not to visit it again. My hand still open, its up to you to reach for it.

[needsum]

Miranda, there are many other options to get an income and to be at least able to pay your bills and live without doing porn. In my case I transition completely almost 5 years ago. When I moved to Las Vegas I didnt have a shit, I decided to do porn and I tried it. My experience wasnt the great so I needed to look for other ways to make a living. I knew there was a market for web cam models and for strong woman like me in the fetish community so I decided to do what I like, to be a Domme. Being a pro domina opened a whole new world for me and its something I have rely mostly as my principal income. I also decided to start my own business as a photographer which is something I love to do, and started getting things little by little. I also started an ebay store and started reselling and manufacturing fetish items. When one thing was slow I would put the time into the other. I also kept doing webcam shows for an additional income on the side to pay some of my bills. Clearly like other people have said, you need a few little jobs to make things happen. Thats why I wanted you to contact me so I could see what things makes you happy doing that you can make some money off from it as well. Life is hard but then again with the right tools things are much easier. I know how you feel, I was there once but I promised myself not to visit it again. My hand still open, its up to you to reach for it.

Tatiana, this is frigging awesome. I hope it doesn't sound condescending , but I really am proud of you. Your example is something everyone should read and follow because you realized the only way for you to ever get ahead is to help yourself and work your ass off. you found ways to do it, and you did it. So, good for you. I loved reading this. and I pray that Miranda takes it to heart and finds a way to pick herself up and move forward. we all know she can do it, I just hope that she realizes it too. <3

[crystalsopen]

:iagree: that is a major key to balanced and good life :yingyang: Everybody should try to surrond themselves with good people. No matter if a person does adult work or not.
Miranda, it is nice to see you are here again. I know, this doesn't mean all your troubles are gone. I hope you have someone around, who support you and to whom you could trust.

Wish you all the best and that hard times will be soon over.

[SmithXXX]

I started a new thread with these links. Please add any helpful links to that thread.

Trans help info
Emergency:
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
https://www.imalive.org/
http://www.transhousingnetwork.com/

Legal:
http://transequality.org/index.html

http://transgenderlawcenter.org/

Change your name -free http://jacobintransit.tumblr.com/post/55217583351/want-to-change-your-name-for-free

Copwatch Infographic Guide
http://brokenbalder.tumblr.com/post/57143135651/brokenbalder-some-know-your-rights-materials-i

Medical:
Transgender Surgeons in the U.S.
- http://www.zeemaps.com/view?group=574718&amp;x=-97.836473&amp;y=37.758465&amp;z=14

Center of Excellence for Transgender Health
- http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/trans?page=home-00-00

FTM Hormone Guide
-
http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/care_program_and_services/hospital_services/Documents/hormones-FTM.pdf

FTM Surgery Guide
- http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/care_program_and_services/hospital_services/Documents/surgery-FTM.pdf

MTF Hormone Guide
-
http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/care_program_and_services/hospital_services/Documents/hormones-MTF.pdf

MTF Surgery Guide-
http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/care_program_and_services/hospital_services/Documents/surgery-MTF.pdf


Mcalc Gender Neutral Menstruation Calculator
-
http://mcalc-app.com/

Mental + Support

Online Gender Therapy (can also issue letters of recommendation)
-
http://gendertherapist.com/

Emotional Baggage Check
-
http://emotionalbaggagecheck.com/

TransSpace Reddit
-
http://www.reddit.com/r/TransSpace

School + Education
:
Trans Student Equality Resources
-
http://transstudent.org/

Study Abroad for GLBT Students
-
http://studyabroad.isp.msu.edu/forms/glbt.html

Applying to College as a Non-Binary Trans* Person
-
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iXcTiWKvTVfIYDx0ciZnZI5Bw5R_hfCdfTZKJPHpeHI/edit?pli=1

[ed_jaxon]

Great resources Scott.

[TatianaSummer]

I started a new thread with these links. Please add any helpful links to that thread.

Trans help info
Emergency:
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
https://www.imalive.org/
http://www.transhousingnetwork.com/

Legal:
http://transequality.org/index.html

http://transgenderlawcenter.org/

Change your name -free http://jacobintransit.tumblr.com/post/55217583351/want-to-change-your-name-for-free

Copwatch Infographic Guide
http://brokenbalder.tumblr.com/post/57143135651/brokenbalder-some-know-your-rights-materials-i

Medical:
Transgender Surgeons in the U.S.
- http://www.zeemaps.com/view?group=574718&amp;x=-97.836473&amp;y=37.758465&amp;z=14

Center of Excellence for Transgender Health
- http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/trans?page=home-00-00

FTM Hormone Guide
-
http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/care_program_and_services/hospital_services/Documents/hormones-FTM.pdf

FTM Surgery Guide
- http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/care_program_and_services/hospital_services/Documents/surgery-FTM.pdf

MTF Hormone Guide
-
http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/care_program_and_services/hospital_services/Documents/hormones-MTF.pdf

MTF Surgery Guide-
http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/care_program_and_services/hospital_services/Documents/surgery-MTF.pdf


Mcalc Gender Neutral Menstruation Calculator
-
http://mcalc-app.com/

Mental + Support

Online Gender Therapy (can also issue letters of recommendation)
-
http://gendertherapist.com/

Emotional Baggage Check
-
http://emotionalbaggagecheck.com/

TransSpace Reddit
-
http://www.reddit.com/r/TransSpace

School + Education
:
Trans Student Equality Resources
-
http://transstudent.org/

Study Abroad for GLBT Students
-
http://studyabroad.isp.msu.edu/forms/glbt.html

Applying to College as a Non-Binary Trans* Person
-
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iXcTiWKvTVfIYDx0ciZnZI5Bw5R_hfCdfTZKJPHpeHI/edit?pli=1


Thanks for taking the time to post these, I know this is a porn oriented forum but it would be nice to have a list like this one on a separate tab maybe on the menu bar where anyone that needs help can have easy access.

[SmithXXX]

Thanks Ed & Tatiana. As I said in the fore mentioned post I created a new thread with all those links too. Let's just hope that people will comment on it and keep it alive. I'd hate to see it get lost deep on down the line. Hopefully it will get (and stay) as a sticky post at the top of main page (hint hint hint moderators lol).

[TatianaSummer]

Tatiana, this is frigging awesome. I hope it doesn't sound condescending , but I really am proud of you. Your example is something everyone should read and follow because you realized the only way for you to ever get ahead is to help yourself and work your ass off. you found ways to do it, and you did it. So, good for you. I loved reading this. and I pray that Miranda takes it to heart and finds a way to pick herself up and move forward. we all know she can do it, I just hope that she realizes it too. <3

thanks needsum!

[robertlouis]

Miranda appears to have been banned. Don't know why.

Maybe she deserved it, maybe she didn't. But I do know from personal exchanges that she was no better when she reappeared yesterday; possibly worse, if anything.

So I'm saddened to see the one avenue that most of us had to reach her appears to be closed. I only hope that the additional isolation doesn't drive her down still further.

And I would have been more active on the thread today if I hadn't spent a fair chunk of it in A&E after falling out of my car - not as dramatic as it sounds, feet got tangled in the seatbelt - but badly bruised and concussed so have just come round from the sedation.

Then BT decided to shut me out of my own email. Fuck fuck fuck. And that frustration is largely because I can't get in touch with Ms Meadows.

[GroobySteven]

Miranda appears to have been banned. Don't know why.

Why do you think that?

[robertlouis]

Why do you think that?

Sorry, maybe I misinterpreted the deleted post between #197 and #198.

And I did have a big fucking bang on my head earlier lol. Ouch.

[GroobySteven]

Sorry, maybe I misinterpreted the deleted post between #197 and #198.

And I did have a big fucking bang on my head earlier lol. Ouch.


Yes it was in response to a douchebag - who she quoted, I removed the original post and her response.

Sorry bout the head - go have a drink!

[MrBest]

miranda have you ever considered working in the medical field?hospitals are a very welcoming workplace to all people at every hospital ive worked at i met transgender employee work in nursing, administration to maintenance please consider it

[robertlouis]

Yes it was in response to a douchebag - who she quoted, I removed the original post and her response.

Sorry bout the head - go have a drink!

Thanks. Tea only! :(

[BellaBellucci]

miranda have you ever considered working in the medical field?hospitals are a very welcoming workplace to all people at every hospital ive worked at i met transgender employee work in nursing, administration to maintenance please consider it

Who are you again? Her career adviser? And not for nothing, but nursing is one of the most depressing careers in the world if you don't have an incredibly giving disposition, and frankly, people get to this point because they've already given so much and received so little in return.

I'm not speaking for her. She's a big girl. But this comment strikes me as not only random, but incredibly douchey.

~BB~

[nysprod]

miranda have you ever considered working in the medical field?hospitals are a very welcoming workplace to all people at every hospital ive worked at i met transgender employee work in nursing, administration to maintenance please consider it


Who are you again? Her career adviser? And not for nothing, but nursing is one of the most depressing careers in the world if you don't have an incredibly giving disposition, and frankly, people get to this point because they've already given so much and received so little in return.

I'm not speaking for her. She's a big girl. But this comment strikes me as not only random, but incredibly douchey.

~BB~


Further proof that the road to hell is indeed paved with good intentions...

[MrBest]

Who are you again? Her career adviser? And not for nothing, but nursing is one of the most depressing careers in the world if you don't have an incredibly giving disposition, and frankly, people get to this point because they've already given so much and received so little in return.being a nurse isnt the only option in the medical field

btw how many years of nursing do you have?


I'm not speaking for her. She's a big girl. But this comment strikes me as not only random, but incredibly douchey.

~BB~
didnt miranda say that she has tried to look for work elsewhere but with no luck in post #182 (http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/showpost.php?p=1441487&postcount=182)?

[BellaBellucci]

being a nurse isnt the only option in the medical field

btw how many years of nursing do you have?

My mother was a nurse, and she has a diagnosis similar to Miranda's. Believe me, I've witnessed first hand what working with sick people (nurse or not) can do to people who are emotionally struggling to survive. It's emotionally bankrupting.



didnt miranda say that she has tried to look for work elsewhere but with no luck in post #182 (http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/showpost.php?p=1441487&postcount=182)?

Well, by that token, why not a nice career in auto mechanics or bodybuilding? Or maybe she could become a skydiving instructor? Certain people and personality types are best suited to do certain jobs. You sitting on the sidelines making seemingly random suggestions to make yourself look helpful helps nobody.


Further proof that the road to hell is indeed paved with good intentions...

He has no qualifications to make suggestions about what somebody he doesn't know should do with her life. He's just trying to make himself feel important on the coattails of her misfortune, so chill out.

When either of you admit to being suicidal, then maybe you can speak up, but as far as I can tell, you're both talking out of your arses. Do yourselves a favor and hush up. You might learn something.

~BB~

[nysprod]

He's just trying to make himself feel important on the coattails of her misfortune, so chill out.

~BB~

And you came to this conclusion how exactly, given that there were numerous posts along the same lines that you didn't respond to in a similar way.

[robertlouis]

And you came to this conclusion how exactly, given that there were numerous posts along the same lines that you didn't respond to in a similar way.

Guys, please trust me on this without further queries. Miranda doesn't need advice from any of us right now. The situation is sensitive way beyond that.

So please, let's not have any unnecessary spats just now. Miranda's personal welfare has to be everyone's priority.

Thank you.

[BellaBellucci]

Guys, please trust me on this without further queries. Miranda doesn't need advice from any of us right now. The situation is sensitive way beyond that.

So please, let's not have any unnecessary spats just now. Miranda's personal welfare has to be everyone's priority.

Thank you.

This.

~BB~

[francisfkudrow]

8 pages back, give or take, we were all lamenting how we're not nicer to one another. Now I get home from work and the thread has degenerated into something not very nice.

[BellaBellucci]

8 pages back, give or take, we were all lamenting how we're not nicer to one another. Now I get home from work and the thread has degenerated into something not very nice.

I don't know about anybody else, but I was lamenting that the men here aren't nicer to the girls, specifically. You all have only one job in this: be supportive. That's it. Offer your words of encouragement and keep your opinions to yourself, because hardly any of you have any fucking clue what you're talking about. You lack the perspective and the qualifications to make suggestions as to what someone in Miranda's situation should do.

She's a big girl and it's her life. Let her deal with it. :geek:

~BB~

[Ananke]

All good intentions, no doubt!
However, when we are dealing with clinical depression, advice on practicalities (jobs etc..) becomes irrelevant.
Miranda needs FIRST to be looked after by professionals (which she IS doing) and only when she is ready she can come back and ask for your advice...In her own time!
Give her space!

[Moon]

Ananke. I agree wholeheartedly.

Having suffered myself from clinical depression .The last thing you want, no matter how well intentioned is a contant stream of advice. In addition I would also add multiple shoulders to cry on, which again well intentioned are not helpful and can prove to be detrimental to recovery.

Miranda needs time to allow her medication to take effect and once stable even more time for her to find her way out from the dark place she currently is.

Miranda. You have to find the answers within yourself, but professional help can guide you.
I wish you well and know you have the strength to find your way back.

[dderek123]

Thanks. Tea only! :(

No scotch?

[asianphoenixx]

In tranny porn, inability to produce a cumshot is generally an immediate pay cut and sufficient cause to not get you invited for further shoots, so I'm not sure how this wouldn't be a deal breaker.

As for alternative options, I may be smart and educated, but I'm nearly 30, have no professional work experience, or even the threads with which to weave the kind of narrative you need to tell an HR manager in order to get hired at the entry level. Furthermore, jobs at the bottom of the wage scale seem even less inclined to hire me, having been rejected by such prestigious firms as McDonald's, Target, and Safeway. The bottom line is that I don't have anywhere to go, and as my mood cycles yet again into another long-term depressive episode, I frankly don't have sufficient hope of my life ever getting better to continue to be patient about things.

Miranda, i got dumped by my parents when I was 16. I had to struggle and worked as a street prostitute for few months to survive, charging 1 or 2 dollars per clients, It's sad and frustrating, but I've managed to complete my high school and finally got a scholarship for college.

Years later, i got dumped again by my wealthy boyfriend. Reason?
He got bored of me and I was no longer "young" for him. He loves teenagers and I was no longer teenager back then.

I had only $700 in my pocket and went to Toronto from Montreal that night, and decided to work as an escort immediately. I charged $80 when the other escorts already charged at least $200 if not more

Years have passed, and i'm still here, not only surviving but thriving.

I'm sure with your intelligence coupled with enough courage and determination you can be successful too.

So wake up sister! There is still a chance.
You have already a good reputation in H.A and you can still continue working in porn occasionally, focusing on you being a bottom, so you don't necessarily have to produce "the money shot", and your main income will be as an escort.

Starting just like me, lower your rate to attract prospective clients.
If average escorts charging 250 or 300, you may start at 150 or 200.
The clients will see it as "not to be missed" opportunity and for sure the demand for you will be higher.

Once you have enough savings, you can start raising rate, thus increasing your potential earning/income.

good luck and I'm 100% sure you will be successful.

The key is: determination and courage:)

[asianphoenixx]

Miranda,
I've posted about this multiple times and refer to it in my blog posts (which I might need to make clearer). Hopefully others will read this and when girls apply to be models, many times I make this information available.

It's extremely rare or near impossible to make a living as only being a model in the adult industry. The economics simply are not there. There is no ladder to climb (or the view from the top isn't any different from the one at the bottom). The pay rates don't really rise much (if any) for established models who have a fan base.

In fact, models just starting often get far, far more work than established models because they're the new "IT Girl". This gives the impression to the model, that they're going to continue to be the "IT Girl" and get shoots on that regularity (again, I've preached this so many times). It doesn't happen, the shoots tend to drop off.

It's simply unsustainable for a girl to expect to make a proper living purely as model in this industry. She has to have other sources of income - and whether that's running her own sites/clips stores, working on cams, doing other adult work or having a non-adult job, they both take a lot more effort and commitment.

very true. Porn industry is dying and it will be replaced by "creative porn" as well as interactive porn in the future.

However, it's still a good place to promote our name in this "entertainment industry", thus i personally plan to do some porn to promote my "neo vagina" in few years, the moment i become a post op :)

[asianphoenixx]

Miranda, i got dumped by my parents when I was 16. I had to struggle and worked as a street prostitute for few months to survive, charging 1 or 2 dollars per clients, It's sad and frustrating, but I've managed to complete my high school and finally got a scholarship for college.

Years later, i got dumped again by my wealthy boyfriend. Reason?
He got bored of me and I was no longer "young" for him. He loves teenagers and I was no longer teenager back then.

I had only $700 in my pocket and went to Toronto from Montreal that night, and decided to work as an escort immediately. I charged $80 when the other escorts already charged at least $200 if not more

Years have passed, and i'm still here, not only surviving but thriving.

I'm sure with your intelligence coupled with enough courage and determination you can be successful too.

So wake up sister! There is still a chance.
You have already a good reputation in H.A and you can still continue working in porn occasionally, focusing on you being a bottom, so you don't necessarily have to produce "the money shot", and your main income will be as an escort.

Starting just like me, lower your rate to attract prospective clients.
If average escorts charging 250 or 300, you may start at 150 or 200.
The clients will see it as "not to be missed" opportunity and for sure the demand for you will be higher.

Once you have enough savings, you can start raising rate, thus increasing your potential earning/income.

good luck and I'm 100% sure you will be successful.

The key is: determination and courage:)

one last thing, ask your clients to post a review at the beginning of your escorting career. Reviews are very crucial in North America.

Once you have coupled of reviews, then you can beat Tia Phoenixx lol

once again good luck! Gotta work now :fuckin:

[BellaBellucci]

Yeah. No. Don't lower your prices. You're a person, not clearance meat. Act like the latter and that's how people will treat you. You're putting a price on yourself - make it appropriate. *smh*

I mean, 'lower your standards?' Seriously, where does some of this advice come from?

~BB~

[asianphoenixx]

Yeah. No. Don't lower your prices. You're a person, not clearance meat. Act like the latter and that's how people will treat you. You're putting a price on yourself - make it appropriate. *smh*

I mean, 'lower your standards?' Seriously, where does some of this advice come from?

~BB~


this is the problem why only few of us are successful, some can be stubborn even arrogant.

Lowering the price does not mean lowering the standard.
I only charge $400 and for some wealthy guys that is a piece of cake since some girls charge double or triple than that.

Does my standard lower than those who charge more? the answer is NO.
that's why men come almost every hour.

I'm here to help in the middle of my clients. As an escort, i almost do not have social life, Internet is one of few friends I have. I work almost every hour with few minutes break here and there.

Reading how honest and desperate Miranda touches my heart.

I couldn't careless if i want to. Heck, i'm already a millionaire, but NO. I never forget where I'm coming from.

[BellaBellucci]

this is the problem why only few of us are successful, some can be stubborn even arrogant.

Lowering the price does not mean lowering the standard.
I only charge $400 and for some wealthy guys that is a piece of cake since some girls charge double or triple than that.

Fair enough, but you said $80. Girls who underbid that badly give us all a bad name and need to stop with their desperate, attention whoring bullshit. The answer is not to validate them. :lol:

~BB~

[Nikka]

Porn industry is dying

this is true, everyone stay away from Porn

[asianphoenixx]

Fair enough, but you said $80. Girls who underbid that badly give us all a bad name and need to stop with their desperate, attention whoring bullshit. The answer is not to validate them. :lol:

~BB~

That's the price I charged when I started this profession about 8 years ago.

Like Miranda, I was desperate and didn't know where to go.
I had two options: charging $200 or more like other girls and i may or may not have a client, or charging much lower so i can continue my life.
I chose the second option since Toronto is not the cheapest place to live, by charging lower, most clients were willing to see me.

I worked for $80 an hour for two months, then up to $160 on the third month, then on the third of half month, I bought my 1st property, then the rest is history

I saved 95% of my income at the time, I literally ate rice and soya souce most of the time to save money. But It finally paid off.

Gotta work again now, we will discuss further this issue when i'm done

[mrtrebus]

Don't go!

[BellaBellucci]

That's the price I charged when I started this profession about 8 years ago.

Like Miranda, I was desperate and didn't know where to go.
I had two options: charging $200 or more like other girls and i may or may not have a client, or charging much lower so i can continue my life.
I chose the second option since Toronto is not the cheapest place to live, by charging lower, most clients were willing to see me.

I worked for $80 an hour for two months, then up to $160 on the third month, then on the third of half month, I bought my 1st property, then the rest is history

I saved 95% of my income at the time, I literally ate rice and soya souce most of the time to save money. But It finally paid off.

Gotta work again now, we will discuss further this issue when i'm done

That's good to hear, but I'm sure you understand that you're the exception, not the rule. Congrats. :)

~BB~

[nysprod]

Every post asian p makes is put there for one reason only...to talk up asian p either as an escort or a person...utterrly self-serving...sickening.

[GroobySteven]

very true. Porn industry is dying and it will be replaced by "creative porn" as well as interactive porn in the future.


The porn industry is not dying, in fact it's doing better than ever. It's always evolved and changed ... and grown.

[iagodelgado]

The porn industry is not dying, in fact it's doing better than ever. It's always evolved and changed ... and grown.

Sounds like a classic university debate. "Is there anything that evolves faster than porn?"

[GroobySteven]

Sounds like a classic university debate. "Is there anything that evolves faster than porn?"


There didn't used to be. The porn industry was at the forefront of internet technology and especially online video technology in it's early days but it's been left behind by far more inventive technologies in social media/marketing. The next step for porn is going to be the interfacing of the online with the physical.