Brittany St Jordan Thread - One Place To Post All Things BSJ

[Brittany St Jordan]

So to kick this off I give you pics of me and the guy who became my very first fan back when I was starting out as a cam girl. He was traveling with his wife after their honeymoon and happened to be going right past where I live. Since we have chatted online for so long we decided that we would finally meet up in person. So here are the photos of me with Steve and his wife Jane.


https://31.media.tumblr.com/d6878c121ce2ba782e00e327f80bcd71/tumblr_inline_mya2dbUBd61rt20ev.jpg

https://31.media.tumblr.com/e23b55590eb3534999ff887499fe386b/tumblr_inline_mya2dvLalM1rt20ev.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/)

[Angeleno]

Great! Also pics of you feet would be more than welcome :praying:

[goatman]

A hometown treasure...

[youngblood61]

Merry Xmas Brit!:)

[Ben in LA]

First off Brittany...I'm really starting to dig that blonde hair!

Second...

Great! Also pics of you feet would be more than welcome :praying:
You should follow her on Tumblr, yo...

http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/post/70284428110/pantyhose-and-heels-always-make-the-day-so-much

http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/post/70284556219/pantyhose-and-heels-always-make-the-day-so-much

[JordanNite]

Fantastic wig Brittany ... where are you buying it from, looks very natural.

I've given a few wanks over your videos. Shame there aren't more out there. You also need some new vocabulary when moaning in ecstasy, you tend to repeat a certain phrase over and over again.

Keep it up x

[youngblood61]

She really does look good as a blonde.:)

[Ben in LA]

Fantastic wig Brittany ... where are you buying it from, looks very natural.

I've given a few wanks over your videos. Shame there aren't more out there. You also need some new vocabulary when moaning in ecstasy, you tend to repeat a certain phrase over and over again.

Keep it up x
Pretty sure that's not a wig.

As for her vocabulary, as long as there are a lot of "fucks" in there, we're good. :)

[Angeleno]

You should follow her on Tumblr, yo...

Thanks!

[youngblood61]

Not into feet,but those shoes are hot.

[nevada64]

Brittany seems like a very sweet person. Intelligent too. I'd love to meet her one day.

[JordanNite]

Pretty sure that's not a wig.

As for her vocabulary, as long as there are a lot of "fucks" in there, we're good. :)


Oh don't be so naive. That's a wig. Most TS escorts wear em. You can't get the thickness that naturally. Unless you want thin hair.

Brit will acknowledge as much. Even our beloved Vanity is wearing a wig these days.

[maninlex]

She is dope

[Brittany St Jordan]

Oh don't be so naive. That's a wig. Most TS escorts wear em. You can't get the thickness that naturally. Unless you want thin hair.

Brit will acknowledge as much. Even our beloved Vanity is wearing a wig these days.

Yes, it's a wig :wiggle: Much easier to manage than spending two hours curling hair and going through product after product to get to look like this. Let's see someone start bashing Dolly Parton or Cher for wearing wigs.

I did bleach my actual hair so it is blonde.

[maninlex]

Dont worry about the haters. They are probably jealous

[Brittany St Jordan]

Dont worry about the haters. They are probably jealous

Thank you ;) I was just clarifying things so people knew the truth and squash any arguments before they start

[Ben in LA]

You must've seen my Twitter post lol

[Brittany St Jordan]

You must've seen my Twitter post lol

Yep ;) I'm always lurking and watching even if I seem quiet ;)

[Brittany St Jordan]

Porno Wonderland

Producer yelling
We are listening
In my ass
Lube is glistening
A beautiful sight,
We’re happy tonight
Fucking in a porno wonderland

Gone away, is the good girl
Here to stay, is the bad girl
His cock gets real long,
As we stroke along
Fucking in a porno wonderland

In the bedroom I can suck a new man
And pretend that he is someone else
We’ll say Are you ready
He’ll say Sure Man
But hardly do the job
When he’s in town

Later on
We’ll conspire
To be fisted by the fire
We have no shame
The plans that we’ve made
Fucking in a porno wonderland

In the kitchen I can ride a giant cock
And pretend the dude’s not a clown
I’ll have lots of fun with mister cock man
And then it’s time for me to go down

When he blows
It’s so thrilling
On my face because I’m willing
We’ll fuck for pay the kinkiest ways
Fucking in a porno wonderland

Fucking in a porno wonderland
Fucking in a porno wonderland

[Ben in LA]

I TOLD you I had saved a few...:)

[nysprod]

Porno Wonderland

Fantastic...I can hear the Annie Lennox version with your lyrics...Happy Holidays!

[JordanNite]

Oh don't get me wrong Britney, i wasn't having a go or hating, i was merely mentioning it was a great wig.

Trust me ... i am fan, i wish you made some more videos ! You got a great looking going on. Would love to fuck that ass.

[youngblood61]

Great set Brit. Love that corset, love the softer look.:)

[Brittany St Jordan]

You can read the prior chapters on my blog (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/MyStory)

A New Beginning

I made it back to VA where I was now dealing with the emotional fallout from my family full of asshats along with my ex's new chick's dog pissing all over everything. It was this tiny little chihuahua that looked like a holiday reindeer decoration. The dog would have been almost tolerable if it had the ability to refrain from pissing all of the time. I left the house to Kassy so that she and her new fling would have a place to live and prosper in. Evidently they never got that memo because the place was fucking trashed. So every time I saw this fucking dog dripping piss everywhere it only infuriated me more and more.

My couch with the faux suede upholstery that housed a queen sized bed had now become the official “Oh fuck let me piss here” cushion de jor for little miss sprinklebell. Combined with the lack of any sign that anyone had done one minute of housework since I had left I was constantly finding more and more reasons to be absolutely disgusted in ways I had no idea existed when sitting in your own house. The level of OMFG was beyond the suggested daily allowance. So I made the decision that I would be taking my dogs with me when I left to go back to CA.

This little idea went over about as good as I expected it to. Once all of the “Are you fucking nuts?” questions stopped I was able to let Kassy know that there was no way I was leaving Bumper there in that cesspool of human and canine neglect. Taking Bumper meant I would have to take Bella as well since they were pretty much a package deal. Kassy flipped her shit and since I wasn't there when she told the new chick about my plan I am guessing she lost her mind as well when she heard the news. Kassy countered with the argument of the dogs were also hers and blah blah blah she wasn't letting me have them. I know how to pick and choose my arguments so I let this one go.

Since we were playing this is mine and that is yours game I figured I would up the ante a bit. I packed up the TV, the surround system and anything else that would be a huge inconvenience for them and took it with me. Because it was fucking mine. See, I can play this game really good too. As it was all be packed up and ready to go for me to head back to Cali there was still something off. There was a huge sinking feeling of leaving Bumper behind. So now that I had all of “my” stuff taken down, packed and ready to go, it was now time to go wake up and let her know I would be taking Bumper with me.

This would be the final straw of how fucking disgusted I could possibly be with another human being. As I opened the door to what used to be the bedroom I shared with Kassy when we were together I was in total horrific shock. I wish someone was naked doing really kinky things to one another but no, instead I got to witness the garbage dump of stuff that littered the entire room several feet deep. The smell mixed with the visual was enough to make me want to run and then it happened. Kassy rolled over and grabbed a box with a doggie pad in to let sprinkles pee in it instead of taking her outside. I was utterly floored and disgusted to the point where I no longer had remorse or sympathy for her ever again.

She came out to the living room where she saw the TV and stuff taken down and started to talk. I let her know I was taking Bumper with me. The sheer amount of anger that rose through her body could have powered a small country for about a decade. The combination of things being taken that “were mine” along with Bumper was too much for her to even argue about it. She kept herself and the new chick out of my way while I packed my car and grabbed Bumper. Soon enough I was all packed up and heading back to LA, again, this time with a copilot.

This was when I made the choice that I was done with porn. I had my own portable studio for shooting photos and videos along with the computers to edit and produce it all. With everything that had happened I was finished modeling. Whatever drive I had was now gone. All I wanted to do was shoot photos of anything for anyone and get paid to do it. As fate would have it, the photographer who was working for Nica Noelle on her scenes moved out of town. I sent her a few samples of my work and landed a spot on her crew as a photographer.

When there was breaks in the shooting cycle I was filling it with shooting concerts. I did a couple before working with Nica and the more I did both I was able to break out of comfort zone as a photographer. There are little nuances with both types of shooting that when combined really expanded my abilities. It was something that sort of just happened. So I went with it and I am glad that I did. Now I can grab just about any camera and know that I can take breathtaking images with it.

There was the issue of me no longer shooting content for my site. We took the dates off of everything and I periodically would add a set here or there that I had already shot. It kept the site somewhat afloat for the time being and allowed to focus on other projects and ideas I was thinking about. I was also trying to distance myself from the Brittany St Jordan name while doing work on projects outside of porn. This was where Brittany St Jordan fizzled out and Renae Lupini took over again.

It was actually unsettling at first when using my legal name again after years of going by Brittany. The only people who ever kept on calling me Brittany were my roommates. Amy and her girlfriend always called me Brittany regardless of how many times I reminded them I was going by Renae again. If it made their world a little easier calling me Brittany then so be it. It was only around the apartment anyways so it was no big deal.

Soon enough Spring turned to Summer and our lease was almost up at the apartment. We had been looking around and there wasn't much of anything just popping out for us to move into. John, who was a client who became a close friend, was looking to move to LA and offered to go in within us on a place so we could split it by one more person. This was a no-brainer but the market for a nice place in our price range was looking dismal at best. John and I had the idea that if nothing came up we would just go in on a small two bedroom for the two of us and let Amy and her girlfriend find their own place. This sounded like a decent plan on paper.

When I told Amy of the possibility of just John and I getting a place together she broke down into tears. Fuck me, not the reaction I was expecting. We still had one week to pull this off before the end of the lease so Amy and I hit the streets scouring apartment after apartment with nothing coming our way. Then we found it. The perfect townhouse. Everything about it was exactly what we were looking for and more while being within our price range. Now to get a lease on it before the old one runs out.

We planned it to where our last day at the old apartment would be our first day in the townhouse. We got the lease all ready to go and all we had to do was get the moving truck packed and be gone. The day before we were set to leave there was a knock on our door. I was asked if I was one of the three tenants of the apartment to which the guy named all of us. I said I was Renae and asked how I could help him. He promptly handed me subpoena papers for an eviction notice for non payment of rent. Well, this was just the way I wanted to get the day started.

When we went down to talk to the leasing office before moving out the guy told us that if we wanted to we could have the last month's rent taken out of the security deposit when we left. Pretty sweet idea so that is is what we did. We planned on the final rent coming out of the security deposit and us being gone to our new townhouse. Evidently the guy in leasing never gave the memo to the people in legal so, we got served. I called our supposed to be future landlord and let her know what was happening. She was really awesome and said she would hold the townhouse for us for a few days to get things sorted out.

Being that my head was all kinds of fuzzy and full of WTF I went to the leasing office to find out what was going on. I was told that yes, sometimes people get to do the final rent our of the security deposit thing but we would not be in that category. When I inquired as why the fuck not I was shown the payment history for the last three years that Amy had lived in the the apartment. Every single payment was late from the first month until that last one. Well, that sums up that little puzzle. There was no budging on this one from the leasing office and the only way to get out of the eviction was to pay all money due at that time. Well, fuck.

Amy's girlfriend had a friend who lent her the money to cover the money owed at that time. I had just done my one last scene for Transsexual Babysitters 21 and that money went into the pot for rent that we used for getting the new townhouse all set up. We were all flying through this by the skin of our teeth it was really getting close. Once we had the money orders I went down to the leasing office with my camera and microphone ready to roll. We knew exactly what they could hit us for and had to ignore upon us moving out based on California law. So I let them know this and I was recording this process of payment along with acknowledgment of our legal rights on camera as well as recording them for my own legal purposes. That was the best customer service they ever gave us.

We were finally cleared from the eviction and Amy got her full security deposit back a few weeks later. We made the move into the new house along with John as our new roommate. Amy and her girlfriend took the master suite, I took the room with the bookshelves and a stained glass window and John got the remaining room for himself. I had a little flower bed and herb garden growing out back and we all just chilled out most of the time. The only real battle we had was over the thermostat as the master suite got super hot so when the AC was up high the other rooms got super cold. Which made for a lot of back and forth adjustments to the temperature whenever passing the thermostat.

We rarely ever saw Amy or Melissa at all. For the most part they stayed in their room. With them staying in their room as much as they did John and I hung out talked a lot. Bumper really dug John too. A dog is a great tool for judging people's character. Especially a dog like Bumper. He is always super relaxed and barely makes a sound. So when he barks at someone I automatically know they're going to be an asshole. From the moment Bumper was around John all he wanted to was play. This told me that John was definitely a good guy to have around. This also the reasoning behind why I took John up on the roommate offer. Had he and Bumper not got along there would have been no new roommate.

I was sitting there at my desk editing photos one day and I could hear music coming out of Amy and Melissa's room. To drown it out I decided to turn on some Alex Jones videos as they generally made them cringe. At the end of one of the videos was a link one about sacred geometry and monuments around the world. This would be the first time I would ever see the words sacred geometry and it was about to change my entire world forever. In a nutshell it is the bridge between science and spirituality that suddenly made everything in my world all make perfect sense.

To write about the topic of sacred geometry can take thousands of pages and barely skim it all. There is no way I can possibly explain what it is but I'll do my best to explain how it effected me. Through video after video I was getting a much deeper appreciation for this sacred geometry stuff. It was when I found the videos by Spirit Science that everything became very real for me. Through everything I had ever been through and witnessed there was always unanswered questions and as I flew down this rabbit hole on a quest for knowledge and understanding things began making more sense than they had ever before in my life.

It was as if someone handed me the keys to my own kingdom that I had no idea I was even looking for. This was when my life transformed from merely being lived because it was the thing to do into enjoying every single breath of air and finding an emotional connection with natural world around me. I ditched my office chair for a big purple yoga ball. I found a crystal store right down the street that became my new home. I delved into Native American practices that tied into my new found spiritual awakening. The only music I was listening to was all relaxing mellow new age and lots of indigenous tribal music from around the world. This was all happening and I wasn't smoking any pot at all. I was completely sober throughout this entire metamorphosis.

The starting point of sacred geometry is the Flower of Life. It is quite simple to draw using a pencil and drafting compass. Where it gets interesting is when you start taking the circles outward from the center and start connecting the intersections. Yes, this can be done real quick on a computer. However, there is something that happens when you draw it by hand. The focus on the lines and points clears the mind of all fogginess. Every little bit of stress fades away. The only way to understand it is to actually do it. Once I was finished with my drawing I would sit down and journal. This is when things got real interesting for me.

The things that I was writing were of no experience or connection to anything that I had ever been a part of throughout my life. One of the reoccurring things was that Denver was the place to be whenever the Earth shook hard enough to break off California into the sea. Any time I sat down to write after doing some drawings based on sacred geometry it was like I was connected to something or someone else and I was jotting down whatever it was I was supposed to. Needless to say, this scared the ever living fuck out of my roommates.

John was supportive and inquisitive of my new found purpose I life. Amy and Melissa on the other hand wanted nothing to do with it. They avoided me at all costs and honestly, I really wasn't too worried about because for the first time ever in my life I found peace and happiness that nobody could ever take away from me. Call me crazy, say I'm fucked up or throw whatever derogatory term you have at me. The clarity I found within myself outweighed any berating anyone could throw in my direction. When I refer to this as a spiritual awakening, it woke up a sleeping beast that will now be awake forever. Nobody can say or do anything to ever make me feel less of a person for believing in these things I had discovered.

Chakras, numerology, alchemy, vortex mathematics, ancient civilizations, the golden ratio, Fibonacci sequence and some good old Illuminati history for good measure were a lot of what I was delving into. Every story, video or web site led me further and further down this new path of self-discovery. What made every bit of ring true was that as I continued to learn more and more about every bit of all of this I would wake up smiling ready to embrace every day as if it were the most perfect day ever created. There were many times where I would get this overwhelming surge of peace and joy that would make my entire body feel like it was charged with 1000 volts of electricity. This was what made realize that every bit of this was absolutely real and more true than anything else I had ever been told.

It is the studying of human as beings of pure energy that gets really interesting. This was where I really started devoting a lot of my time to learning more of. How crystals can be used like personal energy modifiers and how the energy of one person can effect an entire room. We are all vibrational frequencies being picked up by our sensory systems which organizes them into shapes and patterns we tend to call our environment. These frequencies change based upon the variables of our life at that exact centered moment of created perfection. This is why some people can liven up a party while others bring it to a screeching halt.

Synchronicity is when the energy of other dimensions and realities gets intertwined with the one in which we exist. It is like a point where there is infinite cohesion of everything at that exact moment. I had no idea what they were called when they first started happening but once I noticed them they began happening more frequently. There is no way to point it out and be like “Ooo there's one.” They just happen and when they do life goes from ordinary to magical in less than a blink of an eye. These little moments would become my guiding force in everything I did from this point on. There was something I was supposed to find and I wanted to know what it was.

I was on location for a shoot and we knew there was going to be a three week break between then and our next scheduled scene. One of the girls who was staying at the house we were shooting at was reading a book about ancient prophesies and just so happened to be one I downloaded on pdf. This is an example of one of those syncronicities I was talking about. Going to a porn shoot and meeting a young girl who just happens to be reading this book at the sake of everyone thinking she off her rocker. We actually did get a chance to sit down and talk a little bit away from the chaos of the set area. She was very much looking for answers to things as I was just months prior. I told her where I found my answers at and how it effected me as a person. At the end of the day we exchanged crystals with one another and that was last time I ever saw her.

This was also where a most life altering idea would come upon me. I figured that if we were going to be off for three weeks I would go backpack across the country. I opened up my trusty Google Earth and started looking at the mileage of such a trip. That was when instead of traveling across the US I decided I would go to Mexico instead. It was instantly cemented in my head. While we were on break I would be backpacking someplace south of the border far away from everything. I had seen the US by car enough times so I knew right then and there that I was going to be going to visit Mayan ruins in Mexico. This was where I was supposed to go. What began as simple trip soon became an all out journey like no other ever before.

I really got wrapped up in the Mayan 2012 end of the world thing and it was my entire focus on my trip to Mexico. Would aliens come down and smite us all? Only one way to find out for sure. That involved going right to the source and seeing for myself. I began looking over locations of Mayan cities and Palenque became my destination. Intuition was all that was guiding me and I knew that in order for my intuition to do its thing I had to trust it completely without any doubt. This would be the first time I had ever had this much self-confidence regarding any decision I had ever made. It was quite amazing as I had zero fear of what I was about to go through. I just knew it was what I had to do.

I soon modified the original backpacking trip to be an actual leaving the country for who knows how long sort of thing. I began selling anything of mine that I knew I could get money for. As I would make enough cash I would go visit the backpacking store down the street and the crystal shop. I even made a trip to a benitoite mine open to the public before I left as it is the only one is existence in the world. I got some really comfy boots and socks that put any tennis shoe to shame when it came to comfort. I even found underwear that could be worn for six weeks without getting funky. Modern technology is awesome.

The biggest money maker was the selling of my car. About a month earlier I tried this voyage into the wilderness thing at Joshua Tree national park. It started raining out of nowhere and I left my sunroof cracked as I was in the middle of the fucking desert and had no expectation of rain. The idea of my car being drenched made me run back to it and go back home. This time there would be no car to hold on to. I discovered that material possessions are direct ties to memories whether good or bad and I threw away a lot of personal stuff that I had been toting around for years for the sake of holding onto for sentimental reasons. It felt so fucking good to let it all go.

Along with with my last paycheck from a shoot I did I was set to go to Mexico. All I had to do was wake up the next day and go to the airport to hop on a plane. Was I scared, excited or anything showing my emotional state? No, as I told everyone before I left, I was just ready. There was no anxiety or joy. Only the feeling that whatever was going to happen was going to be well worth leaving my entire life behind for.

The day before I left I typed up a letter and emailed to everyone who I thought should know of my plans. The following morning I woke up, smashed my cell phone, said goodbye to Bumper as he was staying with John and heading to LAX. Right before I left I hit send on that letter I wrote and here it is word for word just as it was the day I sent it out those closest to me.

By the time you are reading this I will be in the jungles of Central America. Before I get into the details of the whole thing I want to sort a few things out.

Why in the world would I up and move to Central America? Well, it is quite simple really. I have finally found a connection between my scientific understandings of the universe and my spiritual connections with people and things around me. Somewhere around the beginning of September I stumbled upon some information about sacred geometry. After doing more research I stumbled on to other topics like unified field theory. These are the two main principles that mathematically prove that there is not only an energy connecting all of us but we are also part of that very same energy. It gets a lot deeper than that so I implore you to do some research on your own.

With my new level of enlightenment, the more I look around me and see how far away from spirituality (not religion) we have gotten as a collective whole it is really disturbing. However, we are like a giant coral reef. We all have our own views and perspectives but what effects as an individual also effects as a whole. So, in order for our spirits to go through the entire human experience we must go through the bad as well as the good. So I know all of this has to happen but that doesn't mean I have to be a part of it. I have chosen to disconnect from the rat race and go be one with nature and the universe as we are meant to be.

There are two base emotions that we feel. They are fear and love. The society that we have built is based on fear. Everything around us is designed to tell us what not do and all of the bad things that will happen to us. There is very little information based on unconditional love as this would totally upset the controlling powers of the world as we know it. And the few places where inner unconditional love is the main factor it is also used for monetary gain instead of readily spreading the information to those who need it.

In this world, money is the root of all evil. It has become the only thing people have pride for. The human ego was designed to keep us grounded to this world but it got out of hand and became corrupt and greedy. We have become all about "me" and not about "us" as a whole. We let fear control our every thought and have forgotten what real unconditional love from within our own hearts really feels like. I have felt it and it is amazing. It is a field of supercharged energy that surrounds your entire being and you instantly feel connected with everything above and below. You begin to see the divine being that you really are and it is simply amazing when it happens.

All of this degradation of society and coming enlightenment has been foretold for a very long time. About every 26,000 years this earth goes through radical change. We are now coming up on the end of the what is known as the iron age (not the same as what you were taught in school) which is a time that is dense and lacking spiritual connection. However, we are on the brink of a new golden age of enlightenment and those who are able to raise their internal frequencies will be able to pass through to this new age. Everyone else gets to stay here and keep on living as you are right now.

Want to take a guess as to when ancient civilizations think this is going to happen? On the winter solstice of 2012. That is December 21, 2012. This is not just a Mayan idea. This is a constant occurrence in the prophecies of many ancient cultures all around the world. It doesn't mean the end of the world. Apocalypse, the world mostly associated with this, means a lifting of the veil. So what this means is that those who are tuned into the energy around us will raise their own frequencies and move into this new dimension of existence. One Earth stays in the third dimension, where we are now, and the other moves into a new higher dimension of being. This shift actually started back around 2003 and we have been slowly going through it and some of you may be able to do some research and see how your own lives have been affected so far.

This usually happens after death for each individual spirit but this is the first time that we are able to do this as an entire planet. Think of this as a cell dividing just like human conception. From one single cell we are going to split into two. One will remain the same and the new one will evolve into a higher level of conscious being. This will cause a lot of natural disasters as the two split and finally become separate. Once it is over things will calm down and life will begin anew in a new golden age of enlightenment. Things will also progress here on the third dimension but without the spiritual connection of the higher dimensions. Artificial intelligence without a soul and built buy the ego of humans is going to be a dangerous thing.

Being that everything is energy and what we think we see is simply the vibratory frequency of that energy depicted by our brain means that all of the material stuff we hold dear doesn't mean squat. All of our cars, iPods, money and everything we perceive to be around us only serves to distract us from being able to think, meditate and connect with the higher energy all around us. This doesn't have to be the case though. I am not suggesting everyone sell their material belongings and move to Central America. I have done this because that is where I am at in my own spiritual evolution. What I am saying is to put a little more time into appreciating and loving all living things.

People, plants, animals, crystals and the Earth are all living things. Every one of them can produce a frequency just as we have a heart beat. We are not humans searching for a spiritual experience but divine beings going through a human experience. Outside of this world there is no ego. We were created to see how the ego would effect the spirit and to learn every aspect of that. This is why "God" allows bad things to happen to good people. (FYI - we are all a part of "God" as we all a part of the same divine energy) When people don't quite get it right the spirit comes back (reincarnation) to do it all over again. Only once we have learned how to unconditionally love without fear can we ascend to whichever level of being we came from.

When was the last time any of us went walking our neighborhoods and said hello to total strangers? This simple gesture can work wonders. It breaks a barrier and opens communication between two people. A smile and a hello will brighten that person's day. They may not always respond right away but it will eventually click. You will get a sense of happiness within yourself for being able to acknowledge them and share a smile together. This creates an every growing cycle of love that keeps on growing. So the next time you are out and see someone say hello and smile. You can even go a step further and compliment them on something about themselves. This will really make them happy and brighten their day.

A quick easy way to really make your own world a lot more peaceful is by doing one simple thing. Instead of passing judgment on someone pass it on to yourself. "That person is a jerk because of...." "They really should do this or that because.....""If only they would do this, they would....." All of the things we think about the people around us simply a manifestation of our own fears and self imposed limitations. When we redirect the judgment upon ourselves then we see the real issue inside of us and we can world through it. It isn't always a fun thing to do but when it is said and done we are much happier with ourselves and treat others around with a little more love than we did before. Everyone is rubber and we are all our own glue in this regard.

Why is that we think we only have a certain amount of time to get everything accomplished? Time is an infinite thing with no beginning and no end. Instead of thinking of it as a straight line from point A to point B think of it as a spiral that goes in a circle and the ends touch each other. The spirals represent the great ages we go through, such as golden, silver, bronze and iron. Also known as the great age. Time is not something we can harness or control. We currently do everything to work against it instead of with it. Understanding that we literally have all the time in the universe we can stop stressing out about doing everything we possibly can in the shortest amount of time possible. Even if our spirit ascends from this world time keeps on going. Our human body may perish but the spirit is eternal.

What happens when we die? It is not a big guy with a giant knife coming to harvest our souls. There is no pearly gates with a drop chute to fiery pit of damnation if you messed up. The concept of heaven and hell is quite interesting actually. Heaven is the place where we ascend to. The next dimension of our existence on the astral planes. Hell is not going there and instead, coming back to live on this third dimension of Earth until we get it right. We don't go to hell. We are already living there. We may also be living in purgatory as well which is half in one and half in the other.

We have this fear of death as it is the final point of our existence. Because of this we fear it and do all that we can to escape it. Just look around at how "safe" our world has been made in attempts to prevent it from happening. Children look like medieval knights riding their bicycles with all of the padding and helmets required to experience fun. Elder care is a booming business because we can't bare the thought of losing a loved one but yet don't want the responsibility to care for them either. We fear this death and see it as a loss. The fact of the matter is we all knew each other on the astral planes before we decided to come to Earth. When we leave we will all see one another again. When we see the spirit as being freed from this world and going on to a new place of imaginable beauty and wonder then death is no longer the tragedy we were taught to believe.

These are all reasons why I have sold a majority of my personal belongings and donating the rest to those mentioned at the beginning. I am disconnecting from this web of deception and fear and going to somewhere I can be surrounded by love and nature. I could easily go to a rural area in the US but that would be the easy way. Instead I am going to a foreign land with nothing more than I can carry on back. I shall live off of the fruit of the land and will be traveling on foot. My goal is to be at a particular Mayan location on the solstice to experience it first hand. This is much bigger than me or anything on this Earth. This is my calling from somewhere high above telling me to do this.

I have come to discover that I am here as way to spread the message of universal unconditional love without fear. I haven't ever fully embraced either male or female social norms. That is because spirit is genderless. It is an ethereal body of divine light that exudes love in all directions into infinity. This is why I have been able to overcome personal obstacles without hesitation. It is why I am not meant to be in any one place for an extended amount of time. I am always off on my next adventure so that I can inspire and encourage those around me to know what unconditional love without fear really is.

So as I close this final message to you I ask that instead of responding just to me in your reply, that you reply to the entire list of people and begin communication with possible total strangers who have been brought together by this very moment in our existence. I love you all from the very bottom of my heart. I can't wait to see you all again on the other side.

[Brittany St Jordan]

Happy New Year



https://31.media.tumblr.com/75056991cb845c97467dd9cc16d61ab7/tumblr_mypapqGIOs1raj144o1_500.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/)

[robertlouis]

Happy New Year



https://31.media.tumblr.com/75056991cb845c97467dd9cc16d61ab7/tumblr_mypapqGIOs1raj144o1_500.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/)

Great pic Brittany. Is that your own hair this time?

And just a thought. Ever considered dropping the "S" from your three letter acronym?.......:peanutbutter:peanutbutter:peanutbu tter

[hiten369]

Happy New Year Brittany!!!

[algebra1900]

You can read the prior chapters on my blog (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/MyStory)

A New Beginning....



So as I close this final message to you I ask that instead of responding just to me in your reply, that you reply to the entire list of people and begin communication with possible total strangers who have been brought together by this very moment in our existence. I love you all from the very bottom of my heart. I can't wait to see you all again on the other side.

I read the whole thing, I am proud. Some very funny moments, roommate issues that I think everyone has shared at some point, a good note to always comment if a girl's dog barks at me that I failed on test, and interesting you dropped Alex Jones. A friend of mine moved to Ecuador for very similar reasons, however if that is what path you feel you must go down, go down it. However the fight has only just begun...

[youngblood61]

Happy New Year!

[Brittany St Jordan]

Zombie attack prevention in a dress and heels


https://24.media.tumblr.com/0958ce9a2e855150322fa54594769318/tumblr_mz06kpoMTh1raj144o1_500.jpg

https://31.media.tumblr.com/d5de1638d9793e073549edf170e4d86d/tumblr_mz06kpoMTh1raj144o2_500.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/)

[youngblood61]

Zombie attack prevention in a dress and heels


https://24.media.tumblr.com/0958ce9a2e855150322fa54594769318/tumblr_mz06kpoMTh1raj144o1_500.jpg

https://31.media.tumblr.com/d5de1638d9793e073549edf170e4d86d/tumblr_mz06kpoMTh1raj144o2_500.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/)Are you a Walking Dead fan?

[saifan]

Zombie attack prevention in a dress and heels


https://24.media.tumblr.com/0958ce9a2e855150322fa54594769318/tumblr_mz06kpoMTh1raj144o1_500.jpg

https://31.media.tumblr.com/d5de1638d9793e073549edf170e4d86d/tumblr_mz06kpoMTh1raj144o2_500.jpg
(http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/)

Nice grouping!

[Brittany St Jordan]

You can read all of the chapters leading up to this one on my blog (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/MyStory)

Chapter 12 - Keys

Everything that I have written up until now has been the back story of the various influences I had in my life that guided me into where I was heading. This was no longer life based on the rules and influences of others. It was now my very own compilation of learned experiences all piled into one huge ball as I set off on an adventure of a lifetime. Going to Mexico was more than a vacation destination. This was my personal spirit quest completely cutoff from everyone and everything I ever had in my life. There was no phone, no laptop, no cameras, and no means for anyone to track me down. I even had my passport tucked away inside of a frequency blocking wallet of sorts so that the RFID chip in it had no way of being traced. I was officially off of the grid.

The backpack that I had chosen for this trip was to be used as my portable nomadic home while I made my way to Palenque. It was just the right size to fit the sparse amount of stuff I was taking with me and yet big and heavy enough that most baggage handlers would look at me with a sense of awe and disbelief when I would let them try and pick it up. The pack was designed for the long distance carrying of heavy loads and along with my new hiking boots and socks, carrying my entire world on my back was effortless as could be. I had packed it up a couple of times and walked around my neighborhood before my trip began to ensure it was all set up right as well as to condition my body to carrying a pack once again.

The week leading up my leaving LA was filled with a lot of preparation and mentally preparing myself for leaving behind my entire life as I knew it. I had no idea what I was going to encounter or what would be happening. All I knew was that I had to do this alone. Everything had been packed and repacked over and over again to ensure optimal hiking for extended periods of times. I spent a lot of time talking to John and ensuring that he and Bumper would be okay once I was gone. The final thing I added to my pack was a handful of crystal hearts I bought at the local spiritual shop down the street. I had put these in the front pockets of my the waist wrap on my pack so that as I encountered people through my journey I could bless them with a crystal heart.

The only way I can really explain my feelings at this point is very zen. There was a complete sense of peace and harmony from within myself that flooded me constantly. I had found my spiritual happy place that I had no idea I was even looking for. It all just happened and the more I embraced it the more invigorating it became. It was this flood of enlightened energy that was a tidal wave rushing through my very being and at the same time very calming as it erased any anxiety that had ever been there. All this came from my discovery of sacred geometry as it was the one thing that finally bridged the gap between my logical scientific understandings and my contradictory beliefs in faith.

Sacred geometry can take an entire lifetime to study and explain all on its own. The basic idea to it I that from a single point there becomes a barrier surrounding it at equal distances which creates a circle. Then any area on that circle a new point starts a new boundary and becomes a second circle where both boundaries of these two circles fall exactly in the center of each one another looking like an offset English numeral eight. The center of the next circle is at any of the intersections of the first two and thus begins and infinite pattern of interwoven circles. This is where every geometrical and mathematical possibly begins. From one small central point into an infinite number of possibilities.

When delving into the correlations between sacred geometry and religious texts is where things get interesting. The thing about sacred geometry is that it has been used by ancient civilizations that predate almost all modern religions. The “Flower of Life” symbol has been documented all over the world and all of the people who have ever used it all call it by the same name even though there was no internet 25,000 years ago. In whatever dialect they used they always called it the “Flower of Life” It is the symbol that holds all geometric patterns of the elements that create everything in this world. I found this to be some of the most fascinating information ever and I decided to see where it would take me.

I would quickly find myself learning more about chakras with the flow of energy around and within the body. It was this concept of energy vortexes that lead me to the gem of vortex mathematics. Again, tons of mathematical principles thrown into the mix. People can be easily swayed but numbers are always true. Thrown in some Fibonacci and the Golden Mean, which are close but different. The golden mean is the perfect distance between the center of a spiral to each intersecting point in a straight line from the center outward like a nautilus shell. Whereas Fibonacci is length A plus length B equals length C such as the fingers of humans. The smallest bone plus the middle bone are the same length as the bone connected to the the knuckle. This is where sacred geometry holds the dimensions for everything.

Lots of math and tons of meditation make for a very clear open mind. Neither of which are earth shattering in their own regard as they have both been used for a very long time. It just so happened that the manner in which I was introduced to them and how they both effected me when used together completely changed my world as I knew it. All of that math then added to astrological cycles along with well documented Mayan and Aztec knowledge of cosmic events is what made me choose to go to Palenque.

These were the predominant thoughts running through my head as my plane made its way over Mexico and headed for Cancun. My plan was to land in Cancun and start walking from there. This trip was slated for ninety days. I had three months of hiking and camping all across Mexico already mapped out via Google Earth and now written down in the back of my notebook. I had no GPS or mapping device. I had my compass that told me what direction I was going and along with the stars at night and the sun during the day that was all I was going to use. As my plane began it's final decent into Cancun all I could do was smile and thank whatever cosmic forces blessed with the ability to be taking this voyage into the great unknown.

It was great seeing all of the tourists making their plans for parties that evening as I was prepping for throwing my nomadic home onto my back and heading far away from the sandy margarita and corona soaked beaches of Cancun. Before I could go anywhere I had to make it through customs first. How difficult could one person with one backpack be to get through customs? When you tell them you have no plans to stay in a hotel and no contact information they tend to get a little worried as I found out.

I politely explained to the girl at the customs counter that I was walking to Palanque she gave me the “You fucking crazy gringo” look I had seen so many times before when visiting Tijuana. She called her supervisor over and I once again explained to him using my fingers on my hand in a walking motion and holding up two fingers fallowed by the word Palanque. Turns out he actually hablo ingles really fucking well. After convincing him that I was not a drug mule or smuggling weapons up my rectum he looked at the girl, shrugged and said “blah blah yeaa yeaa Forrest Gump hahahahaha” and they both burst into laughter as I was granted access to Mexico.

After clearing customs I hopped a cab to a market on the other side of Cancun so that I could get something to eat and stock up on water and snacks before it got to late. This was where I would learn the most valuable lesson I can pass along to anyone who visits Mexico. Toilet paper is a commodity. Want to use the public restrooms? Go for it but those few sheets of TP are going to cost you and you better make sure you save one square so you have something to dry your hands with when you wash them. Being that I'm taller than almost all of the people in Mexico, when you throw in the giant backpack I can only imagine what was going through the minds of the folks watching me try and squeeze my way out of the bath and navigate a flight of stairs barely wide enough for me without the addition of my pack. If nothing else, at least I would be comedy relief for the locals as I made my way to Palanque.

I went easy on the tacos as I had no idea when or where my next restroom facility would be available. I could barely pronounce the word for bathroom properly let alone try to figure out how to say “Can you please help me? I seem to have shit myself.” in Spanish. This was just one of the little things that me know that I was no longer in comfy confines of the world in which I was once a part of. Gone where all the privileges of being a white person in the US as I was now the foreigner on my own in country where I stood out like white girl hiking through Mexico.

I had heard so many horror stories of this person being abducted and that cartel killing people and so on and so on. There was one thing about me that really propelled me through all of this and kept me going forward with each step of my feet on the ground. I had no fear, of anything. All emotions can be boiled down and derived from either acting out of fear or out of love. I had driven the fear out of my system way before reaching Mexico so now my heart and thus my world was one of nothing but love. This was my only protection. My faith of the love within me for the world around me.

Walking through the parts of Cancun away from the tourist area was definitely a welcoming experience as I headed out on my journey to Palenque. Being away from the photogenic vacation brochure properties let me witness exactly how life in Mexico really is. It's a simpler, happier way of life than what most people give the people of Mexico credit for. My first 5.6 miles of trekking from Cancun to the outskirts of town solidified that this was definitely the place where I wanted to be.

It was right after that I second guessed myself and thought I should be on the next highway south of where I was so that I could make my way to Chichen Itza in the next four days. There were very few roads that were going in that particular direction so I decided that the next intersection with a southbound street I was taking it. This was where my faith in being surrounded by love creates a world of love of around me would be immediately tested. To say this street was a little intimidating would the understatement of a fucking lifetime.

The street that I chose to walk down had a tiny grocery mart on the left right on the corner and that was the only light on the entire street. I had no idea how far the road actually went as I all I was focused on was getting to the highway where I wanted to be. The road itself was a combination of solid dirt and rocks scattered with friends and neighbors who all appeared as vast shadows moving always just out of reach of my vision. One foot in front of the other was my only option as I passed through what could have easily been the last street I would ever walk on.

At the end of the street was a small church with a wall that had a path leading around it through the woods. Well, I made it this far so lets see what we have on the other side. The path was well worn into the vegetation so even though it was totally dark out with no lights it was still very visible against the plant life growing on either side. As I continued down the path a sound became louder. It was a mechanical cacophony of noise bellowing through the air and with each step it only grew louder and louder until I was there on the grounds of an excavation company of some sorts.

The area was wide open with the actual mill running off to my right as I was skirting the property to search for a road continuing on the other side. There was no road. There were however guard dogs. A pack of barking guard dogs letting anyone who may hear them that someone who wasn't supposed to be there was trespassing on their property at night. The dogs were the least of my concerns. None of them were in the vicious snarling mood so they were of no worry. It was whoever would hear them and how many of their friends that would be joining them that got me looking for another way out of the place.

Instead of backtracking I went away from the mill and followed the tree line until I found another dirt road. I could see some lights so I figured I would meander my way down there and see what I could find. Maybe even find someone who can give me directions to where it was that I was wanting to go. I put my thumbs in the webbing of my waist belt on my pack and moseyed on down the dirt road to what would appear to be an entrance for a much larger portion of the excavating company. There would also turn out to be actual security guards watching the gate for the excavating company.

“Si hablo ingles?” I inquired to which came a resounding “No, no.” from both of the guards. I attempted to break down the language barrier by getting out the handy little Spanish/English dictionary I brought with me and pointing to each word of the sentence I was trying to form and showing its Spanish equivalent to my new compadres. Evidently they were in no mood for a quick class on bilingual studies so they found the one guy working who could speak some English and had him come to the gated area.

I explained to him that I was heading to Chichen Itza and would like to pass through to the other highway so that I could continue on my journey. With surprised laughter mixed with smidgen of tact was a resounding “No!” There was no way I was going to be able to detour through their property and so my only hope at this point would be to head back out to the road I had turned off of that got me here in the first place. As I was putting my pack on he asked me if I was alone and I confirmed I was traveling solo. He told me “I should watch out because there are bad men out there.” As I shuffled the weight of my pack up on to my back and clicked it into place I replied to him “I have yet to meet them.”

It was back through the noisy mill area with barking dogs and past the dark church. Back on the dirt road where no the shadowy bodies were all indoors where the sounds of revelry could be heard as I trudged my way back to the main road. Feeling mildly defeated I decided I would walk back to Cancun for the night and get some sleep. A few steps back towards the city my belt decided it had enough fun for one day and promptly broke. Being that all of my other clothes were packed away inside my bag and my pants were no longer able to stay in the upright position they were designed for, my only choice was to hail a taxi for ride back.

Hailing a taxi, simple as any other time I have had to do so. Taxis and buses were going all over all the time so they were always available. Trying to tell someone who speaks zero English that I wanted to go to the bus station was a whole different story. I simply told him “Centro” as that would get me downtown. As we passed a bus I pointed to it and excitedly let him know that was what I was looking for. We ended up being able to Communicate enough to at least get me a block away from the main bus station in Cancun. After a some quick intuitive engineering of my belt I was able to at least walk the rest of the way there without my pants falling down every other step.

I ended up walking through a little carnival area where vendors where selling the usual trinkets and food. It was a flood of lights and music that was welcomed by all of my senses after my little voyage down the dead end road to nowhere. It may have October but the weather was quite warm so the night air felt really good as I walked the edge of the carnival area on my way to the bus station. I may have had to return to restratagize a few things but this was making it well worth it.

The main bus station had buses going right to Chichen Itza. Only thing was the next one wasn't until after 8 am the following morning. Being that it was barely ten o'clock this was going to be a long night of sitting, sleeping and preparing for the rest of my trip while waiting in the bus station. Lesson one, the pronunciation of Renae in Spanish is way different than English so when trying to provide my information for my ticket I was in for a crash course on being a gringo. This would be where I learned to simply ask to use the keyboard or write my name on paper for the clerk to enter into the computer.

As I was sitting on the floor with my feet resting up on my pack a gentleman with his family struck up conversation with me about visiting Mexico. This was really nice that a total stranger would be willing to strike up a conversation with the gringo in the corner while waiting for the bus. Then in the midst of the conversation he called me “Sir.” What, what the fuck? I hadn't had that happen to me on a long fucking time. To his credit I was in ball of sweat lounged back with boots up the air. I had a bandana on my head to keep my hair back and sweat out of my eyes. So for all intensive purposes I could see where he was confused momentarily. This was also my cue to dig out some fresh clothes and go use the rest room to freshen up.

For the remainder of the night I was making use of the snack shop and even found a map of southern Mexico with the Mayan ruins annotated on it. This was going to be most useful. It turned out that I was in fact on the right highway when I veered off for my impromptu shortcut to nowhere. Something told me though that sleeping in the bus station was going to be a little better than the side of the road that particular night. Once I got all of my next day travel plans arranged and was all freshened up it was time to catch some shut eye. Or at least five minute intervals of sleep until the security guard would wake me up.

It was a long night of very little sleep that came to an end as the sun came beaming through every single window as only happens when right next to a coastal area. All of that light be reflected and refracted off of every single surface before searing through my retina was quite the indicator that the day had officially begun. The second sign was the hungover tourist trying to get on buses to head out on their own little personal day trips so they could be back in time to get drunk and pass out on the sand yet once more. The cacophony of voices from every possible country serenading the echoing innards of the bus station can put any live musical production to shame. I was definitely awake by this point.

Those last fifteen minutes before boarding seemed like fifteen light years. I was destined for Chichen Itza that day and the excitement of my travels there was building my level anticipation ten fold every second I was forced to wait. When they finally opened the gate I handed pack off to the baggage guy and watched him struggle with it like a small cat trying to juggle a brick. He managed to get it into the storage area but you could tell he was confused as how in the fuck I even picked the thing up to hand to him. Once the bus was loaded it was time to sit back and take in the sights. The sights of the inside of my eyelids.

I was awake long enough to go past the point where I turned around the previous night and to check out a little bit of the countryside as we left town. At that point I was out and dreaming all the way to Chichen Itza, except for the checkpoints. This was when I learned that Mexico has military checkpoints all over the place. It would turn out that the buses were rarely ever messed with as mostly local used them for traveling from town to town. I was counting my blessings that everything happened the way it did and I was on that bus instead of walking through those checkpoints. Something tells me an English speaking gringo with a giant backpack would make some real fun with a bored checkpoint guard.

As the bus wound its way to Chichen Itza we went through this village where everyone lived in wooden huts fashioned out of trees and on each of these primitive little huts was a satellite dish for cable TV. I was astounded that even in a life of primal simplicity there was still the need to see whatever was being pumped through the TV for entertainment. The real shocking realization was this was the very similar way in which I had been raised in a small town glued to the TV when I wasn't outside going on adventures.

We finally arrived at Chichen Itza which is the one Mayan location turned into a national symbol of tourist trap dejour. Almost every publication or travel ad featuring something of the Mayan nature is most likely part of Chichen Itza. This place is “the” Mayan to visit when making the rounds to see the various ruins through Central America. The thing about it is the sheer scale of everything. It is fucking huge. The actual land that it covers is immense but the size of the ancient stone buildings and artifacts is enormous. Every bit of built for a distinct purpose for every part of Mayan life.

The most intimidating thing to see was the handball court. I felt like a tiny action figure surrounded by the immense walls in which these games were carried out. It was a one on one game where, as depicted in the glyph, the loser was sacrificed and spirit set free. Death was an honor to the Mayan people as they saw it as the beginning to something far greater than this existence. So to lose at these games was really to win in a way.

There was also the sacrificial alter at the top of one of the staircases on another building. It was being repaired so it was closed off but I could still see the stone slap that countless of Mayan people were beheaded at as their spirit was released from this world. There were toppled over pillars of stone along one edge that were now impromptu rock stools under the trees in which to sit on. This was a very intense experience to be sitting there on a piece of stone used to create this building that was part of this city whose people understood science on levels beyond what many can even comprehend today. Sitting there absorbing the energy of this magical place as I looked in awe at the creation of the once great city that had now been long abandoned and crumbling before me.

The building which looks like a turret is actually designed and aligned with every cosmic cycle ever recorded. Everything about Chichen Itza is designed based upon solar and cosmic events but this building, Caracol was an ancient observatory unlike anything ever imagined to exist. Without getting into the whole how did it get there theory of it all, this thing is a sight to behold. From its watchtower dome the secrets of the sky are able to be deciphers and give meaning to what is otherwise taken for granted as random occurrences of astral events. What was even more intriguing was how many people walked by this structure as it is one of the more worn down ones and gave it very little thought.

Chichen Itza will give Disney a jealousy fit of rage when it comes to marketing. There are vendors on every path selling anything you can possibly associate with even being vaguely Mayan in any way whatsoever. Amongst the enormous group of vendors there was one I was actually looking for. Before going to Mexico I had watched a documentary on the current Mayan descendants and how they make a living. One way is sell little touristy trinkets and handkerchiefs to people visiting the grounds. One of these people in the movie was a very elderly lady who survived by making her living this way.

She was one of those unmistakable people who you are unable to confuse with anyone else. So, when I finally saw her it was a relief to know that I would be able to help contribute to to helping her sustain her and her family for another day. The little hand-stitched Chichen Itza handkerchief she sold was ten pesos which was like a dollar in US currency. I handed her a fifty peso bill, hugged her and thanked her for my newest addition of memorabilia. Knowing that such a simple act could help make her day a little better was way better than any trinket I could stick in my pocket to remind me of this experience.

After being beaten by the sun and walking past every possible monument several times to take it all in it was time to leave Chichen Itza and continue my quest to Palenque. Luckily there was a travel office right there so I was able to purchase a bus ticket and proceed to wait in the parking lot enjoying the nice Mexican weather of hot and humid as I sat there pondering all of the things in which I had been able to experience and witness within my first forty-eight hours in Mexico. To say that I was blessed would be like rice is white, overtly obvious and only marginally able to convey the feelings running through my existence. This was definitely a good beginning to the greatest journey of my life.

Palenque and Chichen Itza are nowhere close to one another. My bus ride would be an overnight voyage from one to the other. I would finally catch up on sleep that I had been derived of the previous night. When the bus finally arrived in the town of Palenque, which is separate from the ruins, it was before sunrise. We got off of the bus and there I was just a few miles shy of my actual destination. Although I had taken a bus this far I would in fact be walking to Palenque just as I had planned. Before I left the town I took a little touristy lap around to check things out as people were waking up, business opening and children going to school. Once I was finished taking in this experience it was time to go to Palenque.

There is a stone pathway that leads from the town all the way to the ruins. It follows the road and periodically changes sides of the road but it is still there. The little over four mile hike was my final leg of the trip that was to lead me to this place of mystery and wonderment known as Palenque. Why did I choose this place? Better yet, why did it choose me? What would I see while I was here? Who would I meet while I was here? What secrets of Palanque would be revealed to me during the course of my visit to this magical wonderland tucked beneath the jungle canopy? The only way to find out was to finally get there.

[Brittany St Jordan]

My latest scene released on Shemale Yum (http://join.shemaleyum.com/track/BrittanyStJordan.2.5.5.0.0.0.0.0)


https://31.media.tumblr.com/9225357005936a20625a6d34c8bbe30f/tumblr_n0f4w3mzgJ1raj144o1_500.jpg (http://join.shemaleyum.com/track/BrittanyStJordan.2.5.5.0.0.0.0.0)

[youngblood61]

Just saw the vid, hot stuff Brit!:jerkoff

[Brittany St Jordan]

Just saw the vid, hot stuff Brit!:jerkoff

I have yet to see it so I will have to take your word for it.

[Brittany St Jordan]

You can read the preceding chapters on my blog (brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/MyStory)

13 - A New World

Being that Palenque is up a little higher in a more mountainous area there was a blanket of fresh morning mist hanging in the air. The slight chill of the moisture felt good as I continued my trek while the sun was attempting to conquer the mist as it rose to begin the day. The crystal hearts mixed with the coins I had placed in with them were now playing together in unison as they created a soothing rhythmic beat with each step I would take. A very subtle sound without being overbearingly loud to distract from enjoying the natural beauty which surrounded me from every angle. Everything was a new sensation to whichever sensory organ was fortunate enough to be transmitting the blissful messages through every neuron in my body. This was an amazing first day and a very blessed welcome to Palenque.

Everything that had ever been a part of what defined me as the mortal being I once believed I was had all been flushed away. All of the hatred and anger built up over the course of my life had all vanished. Being able to process the world around me in such a profound new way made me feel instantly connected to the natural world around me in brand new ways. There was a great spiritual connection and sense of oneness with everything I could see. I was now spiritually bonded at my core with the world around me. Life as I had known it would now be forever changed.

This had been a process that had been set into motion back when I was in California. It was now finally taking place and materializing with each step I was taking. The clarity of mind, the high vibrational spiritual energy and the embracing of a whole new method of experiencing life were all culminating within me at this very moment. Invincibility is about the only way I could describe this, this lack of fear, this heart full of love, this new spiritual awakening that I had no idea would ever happen to me. This is nothing that was ever planned or sought after. It all just sort of happened as I continued down the path all alone yet surrounded by and joined to the world in which I could sense in every way possible all around me.

The only thoughts going through my mind where of astonishment and amazement as I was now getting closer to Palenque. The stone path which I started walking on back in the town was still going along the side of the road. I passed several camping areas along the way once I made it through the entrance to the National Park. I decided to keep on walking as I made this far so I wanted to finish my journey by actually walking to Palenque. About a mile before the main gate is the visitor center and museum. After this the road gets steep and has a couple of really sharp curves in it. There is that saying about the last little bit being the most difficult, well, this was definitely a good way to test that theory.

My only strategy was to keep putting one foot in front of the other until I made it to the top of the hill. Right as I made it to the final turn I was able to see the tourist area with shops along the entire edge of the parking lot area. At the far end of the parking lot was the entrance to the ruins. I did it, I fucking did it. I finally made it to Palenque and I arrived by walking just as I said I was going to. What I was unaware of was what time it was in the morning. I made it to Palenque alright, however, the doors were still closed.

The security guy working the gate spoke zero English so I got a crash course in Spanish whether I was ready for it or not. After some repeated attempts to inform me of what time the ruins opened I caught the word ocho and knew that the park would be opening at 8am. For someone with limited exposure to Spanish, when it spoken in full on grammatically correct form it is difficult to figure out where sentences break into individual words. It may have taken a few rounds to figure it out but I finally got it. Oh, and the tickets were sold at the museum which was about a mile back down the hill and then back up the hill once the gates were open. Yes, I definitely got my exercise in for that morning.

One of the things I noticed right away is that there are several rivers and streams running all around Palenque. Which means at any given point in time there is a soothing sound of water running. Combined with the birds of every possible size and color adding their own little something to the symphony of mother nature there were also the deep gurgling turned shrill squall of the spider monkey's roaming through the forest. All of these sounds blended together while they cascaded through the mountainside covered in jungle canopy made for the most blessed welcome I could have dreamt of upon arriving in such a miraculous place.

Once the museum opened I made my way inside to purchase my ticket to Palenque. This would be second portion in my continual lesson of the Spanish language. Luckily this time my lack of comprehension set off a few bells for one of the guys working there and he happened to speak English. Thanks to my interpreter I now had my ticket in my pocket and was on my way back up the hill to the gate of Palenque. It was still early in the day so there was no rush to see how fast I could get there. I was still taking it all in as every moment was presenting me with something completely new to bring a smile to my face and and an overflowing sensation of happiness within my heart.

This time when I got the gate I gave my ticket to the girl working at the counter and handed my pack over the security guy to stash away my nomadic home for the duration of my visit. All I took with me on this very first venture to Palenque was a water bottle and my desire to finally behold the majesty that was my purpose for this journey. Upon entering the gate, the path of small rocks leads to an ancient stone staircase which leads up to the open area of the ruins excavated and open to everyone. This area is only a very small percentage of the actual ancient city that was once a thriving place of civilization before the bible was even a concept in the collective minds of its contributing writers.

Walking out into the open area and seeing the temples for the first time was one of wonderment and awe. These ancient structures stood amongst the jungle as a testament to a time when people and nature lived in harmony with one another. The blue sky overhead made this one of the most visually invigorating experiences I had ever witnessed. Being that I left all of my technology behind, such as cameras, allowed me to really enjoy the moment rather than capturing it with the perfect photo. Better than the photo is the memory I will always have of this. Seeing these ruins that stand as a monument to a ancient thriving society is something that will be with me forever.

The first temples, which include the Temple of The Inscriptions, were roped off as they were being repaired. The Temple of The Inscriptions is the final resting place of Pakal, who was the king that ruled for almost seventy years and is said to have been responsible for turning Palenque into the city it once was at the height of its glory. Although I was unable to actually venture up to the top of the pyramid, it was still a very somber moment to be able to stand there and look upon the resting place of this once revered leader of Palenque. Just the simple act of standing silent in front of the temple I was able feel the harmonious energy that still flows through this hallowed ground today.

Following the foot path while looking over the Palace to my left, I continued walking across the bridge over the aqueduct. This aqueduct was constructed as part of the city and is still there with the mountain spring water still flowing through it today. With the water and plenty of trees at this particular area the trinket vendors all swarmed to this little section. Most of them selling the same exact items as the vendors at Chichen Itza except with Palenque stamped on or carved into them instead. Once through the sea of trinket temptation I was going up another set of stone stairs on my way to the next set of temples.

The interesting part of all of the staircases is they each have their own drainage gutter built into the side of them. The bottoms of which are rounded out so the gutters look like very tiny slides. I can only imagine some small forest animal stepping into one and ending up at the bottom wondering what just happened to them. These stairs went up into the woods and while getting to the top of this set of step was when the spider monkeys started howling and were much closer than before. Hearing the fierce growling of the spider monkeys was a much appreciated addition to this first visit at Palenque. It was a nice breath of life flowing through the otherwise somber energy of the ruins. It let everyone know that the jungle around us was most definitely very much alive.

Coming out of the cover of the jungle I found myself in another open clearing. There was a smaller temple to the left and two of the tallest temples in front of me and off to my right. The one to my right was still covered mostly by jungle so it appeared to be built into the side of a very steep hill. This is the Temple of The Foliated Cross. The other is the highest point one can physically get to in the currently excavated ruins. This is the Temple of The Cross. Some of the best vantage points for viewing the outlining areas set atop the stairs to each of these temples. Oh, how I love those stairs.

The one thing every structure has in common is the way in which the stairs are constructed. Narrow on the top and very tall is the only way to describe them. Each step upwards requires bringing the knees almost to the chest. Just a few of these steps make a great workout and yet there were a couple hundred that made getting to the top a moment of celebration for anyone their first time there. The great gift of pure natural wonderment that was to be seen upon getting there made it all worth it. I could see the end of the world in one direction and get a whole new appreciation for the jungle surrounding me in the other.

There is no other place that sits up so high offering such a grand view of everything and yet feels perfectly safe while peering down at the area below. There is no trinket, picture or memento that even come close to the harmonious feeling I got while sitting there atop the temple and surveying all that my eyes could see. The deep rich greens of the jungle and grass with a bright blue reflecting the deep seawater from distant coastlines made for an image that is now permanently burned into my memory. To top it off, the sound of the spider monkeys and various birds made this one of those moments in life that nothing can ever replace.

Going down the stairs is just as cumbersome as going up. Except now there was the whole bouncing down hundreds of stone steps involved. Making it back down to solid ground ground, I looked up at marveled at the task in which I just endured and came out unscathed in the process. To think, that people who were members of this city did this every day. The entire city is sat in a mountainous area and the terrain is very unforgiving. There are changes in elevation all over and each of them is conquered by a system of finely crafted stairs and gutters. The Mayan folk who were a part of Palenque had to be in peek physical shape compared to most civilizations at that time.

Following the trail down another set of steps I was now right across the aqueduct from the palace while still covered by trees. This was yet another exciting moment to behold. The area had a whole bunch of stone benches under the trees where a stream was running on one side and the aqueduct down the other. It was a very peaceful and calm little place to sit and take well deserved rest before continuing on with the explorations of the day. Once the break was over, it was time to visit the Palace.

The Palace is a huge structure that was built and added to over many generations. The ruins that are left are just a minor shell compared to what it looked like at the peak of civilization in Palenque. Even though this the case, the Palace is still an amazing piece of history and to be able to openly peruse its grounds was an honor of the highest regard. The outside courtyards, tunnels, subterranean rooms, secluded lookout areas, glyphs carved into the stone and the painstakingly amazing architecture still give this building a small glimmer of the robust life it once had.

Once I finished taking in all that I possibly could of the the Palace I went back over where I first started at the first group of temples. Earlier there were tours floating around and now the area was free of large groups being shuffled through in order to make it back to their bus on time. While I was standing there I noticed there was an opening in the woods which turned out to be a hiking trail to walk through and take in the sights and sounds of the natural jungle life around Palenque. My first little introduction to such wildlife was a small lizard hanging out at the edge of the sun and the shade.

There was a tour guide coming through to give a guided tour to a couple from France. When I mentioned the lizard the tour guide knew exactly what kind it was and showed it off to the French couple before he could scurry off into the jungle. This tour guide also gave another quick lesson about a plant that grows fruit shaped like bull testicles. It would turn out that these send a lot of tourists to the hospital because the sap in them is used as a very powerful adhesive. This tour guide was Jose and this would be just the first of many meetings we would have throughout my stay at Palenque.

Jose let me know that the trail was open to anyone or you could hire a guide to give you the instructed tour along the way. Since Jose was already doing a tour I decided to tail them and stay within earshot of what was being said but far enough away to keep from disturbing them. I ended up catching up to them when they were taking a break near some water. This happened to be one of the many springs that fed into the streams of Palenque. I took this opportunity to refill my now empty water jug and did so without any filtration at all. Just pure Mayan spring water straight from the source.

People can say what they will about the water in Mexico but this was some of the freshest water I've ever had the pleasure of drinking. There was no flavor to it all which meant there was nothing in there that shouldn't be. I continued to marvel at the amount of shells collected in the water by all of the freshwater snails. The thing about snails is they are very easily killed off by pollution and there were thousands of these creatures all throughout the water around Palenque so they were also my little barometer on how refreshingly good the water was that I was drinking.

As Jose took the couple further up the trail I decided to follow another portion of the trail in another direction. This trail was actually more of a network of interconnecting trails that went all through the jungle and some even went by waterfalls in certain areas. To call this a nature hike would be a severe underestimate of how naturally beautiful it truly was. What made even better was seeing the ancient ruins of Mayan building poking up and still covered by jungle. What was once a thriving city was now reclaimed by the jungle covered mountain to which it calls home.

As I made my way out of the jungle I found myself back at the vendors area at the parking lot. I grabbed myself some fruit and headed into the ruins to enjoy my lunch. I made my way to the area to the left of the Palace where I had yet to venture to. I found a smaller building along the edge of the trees to sit in the sun while I refueled for the rest of the afternoon. While walking up the remnants of what was once a building I saw a large black iguana sunning itself there on the rocks. He was in no mood for company so he ducked under the rocks and watched me climb over top of him to get to my spot where I would enjoy some much needed food.

Once I was done eating I walked around the rest of the ruins rather quickly as I knew there would be more opportunity to come back and see them all again. When I was back by the entrance gate I was approached by a tour guide and he offered to take me on the nature trail to where the spider monkeys live. This was definitely something I wanted to experience and even if it was going to cost me a little bit I was ready to pay the fee. I knew that any of the money I was spending on these side attractions was helping out that person provide for their family. This was how they earned their income and I had no qualms helping them as much as I could.

I forget the guide's name so for the sake of the story I will call him Monkey Man. So me and Monkey headed off into the jungle and much like the tour I tailed I was shown various plants and animals and told their history as how they played a part in the ecosystem of Palanque. One of the most interesting sights was a tree over eight hundred years old whose trunk spanned in three different directions as it covered the remains of Mayan buildings covered under thick jungle plants. Another exciting tid bit of information Monkey told me was that the local magic mushrooms were well worth trying should I be able to get my hands on some. Even in the remote jungle of Mexico there are people who know to experience mother nature at her best.

He stopped me and told me to smell the air. “Smell the monkey.” he said. As I took a whiff of the air it was definitely different. Monkey's rarely bathe so you can smell them easily when they are upwind. We followed the smell until we heard them in the trees above us. We looked up and there they were, spider monkeys eating leaves from the canopy of the trees. Mr. Monkey let me be with the spider monkeys as I sat there and took it all in. I sat there staring up and watched them eating their favorite delicacy in their own natural habitat. This was way better than any trip to any zoo I had ever been on.

As I was down below the monkeys one of them dropped a leaf from it's hand. I watched it float down towards the ground as I twisted and turned all the way down. Once it finally made its way to the ground I slowly walked over to pick it up. I was cautious to keep from frightening the monkeys away. As I picked it up I looked at and immediately took notice of the bite missing from the leaf. The fresh saliva still glistening around he area where it was just in the spider monkey's mouth only a moment ago. This was such a thrilling experience. Chills, goose bumps, energy and every happy good feeling all into one giant ball of bliss was what went through my body. It's the little things like this that makes moments in life cherished and blessed in ways that words can never fully express.

I decided it was time to leave the spider monkeys be and so we turned back on the trail and headed to the parking lot once again. I paid Mr. Monkey for the visit with the spider monkeys as well as gave him one of the crystal hearts I had in my pocket. Granted, he got to see the monkeys everyday but I wanted to thank him in a way that he would remember and know exactly how grateful I was for the tour he gave. He also let me know that they had other tours to areas outside of Palenque and I let him know that I would think it over but at that moment I had to go find a place to sleep that night.

At the bottom of the hill was a camping area that actually sat on the edge of the Palenque ruins. I made the walk just over a mile to the place that would become my new home while I was in Mexico. It was a quaint little resort called Maya Bell. They have modern cabanas, a dining area and all that stuff I left in California. What I was looking for was a nice quite place to put my tent and they had plenty of space for that.

The camping area was a bunch of stone foundations filled with dirt and covered with cabana roofs. There was a row of bushes and trees that operated this area from the rest of the resort so it really felt like being off and away from everyone and everything. Just what I was looking for. The spot I decided to go with had slightly lower sides to the roof so it would likely keep out most rain should it start coming down. The cabana roof was also a nice little addition so there would be no need to hang tarps over my tent. I dropped my pack, grabbed my water bottles and sat there taking in the scenery. This was now my home.

The camping areas loop up and around the trees and have a big open space in the middle in case of severe storms it's were everyone is supposed to gather to get out from under the trees. The nice thing about the open area was all of the insects and birds who would be constantly swooping and buzzing all around. This was my front row seat to the great show on earth, mother nature.

Putting the tent up was quick and simple. Now I had a place to store my stuff while I went to eat. The restaurant at Maya Bell has no walls. It is open air and all of the spiders, bugs and lizards are right there enjoying there breakfast, lunch and dinner right along with with everyone else. Harmony truly is an amazing thing to behold. Ordering my dinner would be one of those things where pointing at the menu was way easier than trying to pronounce words I could barely read. Everything was in Spanish, everyone only spoke Spanish and I was too hungry to try and learn Spanish right there on the spot. That chicken fajita was the best chicken fajita to ever grace my taste buds so the slight language barrier was of no concern at all.

The sun was starting to go down so I had just enough light left to do some quick writing in my journal before it got too dark. Then, as the sun began to vanish beyond the jungle, the spider monkeys started what would be a nightly ritual of howling to let each of their little clans know where the alpha male was and where to join him. The hum of the evening insects floating through the grass and trees was soon the only sound still audible as I finally wound down for some sleep at the end of my first day in paradise.

[Brittany St Jordan]

My blue princess dress that I was a gift for my birthday. Big cuddly and fuzzy thank you to Alex for sending one of the pretty dresses I had listed on my wishlist (http://amzn.com/w/2JBJLICDWHZDE). You can see all of the photos from this set on my blog (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/).


https://31.media.tumblr.com/ef3f4225067a0131264a26f8242de3e1/tumblr_n0muaz8ohu1raj144o2_500.jpg

https://31.media.tumblr.com/a3b212105da9b3fa49070cc1f8ba5f93/tumblr_n0muaz8ohu1raj144o5_500.jpg

https://31.media.tumblr.com/c54d15762643d061ef241626fbb5be42/tumblr_n0musf7oZG1raj144o5_500.jpg

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https://31.media.tumblr.com/4250b52550153d69f41620481a60ad14/tumblr_n0mve0agxj1raj144o2_500.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/)

[youngblood61]

Looking so lovely Brit!:)

[youngblood61]

Great pic Brit!:jerkoff

[Brittany St Jordan]

Good morning ;)


https://24.media.tumblr.com/ebf178346fdc2d887444074aaf1edd0a/tumblr_n0u6m7cmp71raj144o1_500.jpg

https://24.media.tumblr.com/b9f15602945ec2368d0bc61a8d92e13e/tumblr_n0u6m7cmp71raj144o2_500.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/)

[maxpower]

Very pretty, Brit.

[youngblood61]

Good morning ;)


https://24.media.tumblr.com/ebf178346fdc2d887444074aaf1edd0a/tumblr_n0u6m7cmp71raj144o1_500.jpg

https://24.media.tumblr.com/b9f15602945ec2368d0bc61a8d92e13e/tumblr_n0u6m7cmp71raj144o2_500.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/)Did you have morning wood lol?:)

[Brittany St Jordan]

Chapter 14 - Connecting The Dots (previous chapters can be found on my blog (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/MyStory))

Day one of my new life in Palenque would start off with what would become the tradition of each and every morning. I would wake up when the spider monkey's decided it was time to crawl out of bed because growling monkey's have no snooze button. The echoing calls through the jungle was something you simply have no way of ignoring. Then there was the concept of getting food for breakfast as well as stocking up for the rest of the day. This would entail me walking up the hill to the visitor's area of the ruins and buying fresh fruit and snacks every day. My evening meal was done at the camping resort's restaurant which gave me one good cooked meal of chicken every day and some time to sit back and watch all of the people interacting with the natural surroundings they now found themselves in.

A few spots down from my camping area was one dressed in assorted fabrics of all kinds of colors which gave the tiny shelter a very Arabian feel to it. It turned out that the girl who was staying there was from Argentina who was an artist doing work on the property while she was staying there. The other additional thing that made this little spot so interesting was the fact that she also had a cat. The cat always stayed with her in the tent of fabric and would rarely venture from eyesight when she was gone. There was an entire world right there for that cat to go off and explore and instead it was content being right there where it was always warm, dry and always plenty of food.

It was day two or three that my cabana roof had a huge hole ripped in it by a storm that came through that night. The roofs are made of the huge leaves of trees right there on the property. They get fixed relatively quick but to ensure I stayed dry I moved my stuff down to the open spot next to the Arabian tent. This spot also had direct cover from the trees behind it as well. I set up my tent so that the opening faced the open jungle behind me so that when I opened it I still had a bit of privacy inside. My tent was my storage place as well as sleeping area so I did my best to keep it shut, free of bugs and vegetation as much as possible. The only bug I really had to watch for were the select few caterpillars that were trying to eat my tent as a source of food. There were only a few of those so it was of little concern really.

I had found some cut up logs and an old wooden crate is some of the vacant camping spots. One of the logs became my stool. Two others were used along with some stones and the crate with a missing side to make a small sturdy table. I then gathered up the remnants of wax from candles used by previous visitors that was readily found in all empty sites. Using the knife of my multi-tool, I carved in the words un día bendito which means A Blessed Day and filled the letters in with the wax by melting it with matches. Once it was dry I put my new sign in front of my spot next to my step for everyone to see. This was now my home.

I had waterproof bags for clothes and a bunch of strings and rope tied all around the inside for various purposes. There was a place to hang everything and the spaces around my table made great storage for my crystals, matches and my multi-tool which were all used quite often. My backpack had a little day pack that came off of it so that became my main place to keep my writing stuff as well as toting around my daily food sources each morning. A lot of bananas, a kind of citrus that looked like an orange but was way better and cookies. I also found these little packs of cocoa and sugar smashed into disks for mixing with water for hot cocoa. They were pure cocoa and sugar with nothing else and made for the most delicious treat ever. One little tab would last me three days because of how rich they were. I found those little gems at the museum gift shop on of my walks back to my tent one day.

One of the things I was looking forward to in Central America was finding a source of ayahuasca (pronounced eye uh waska). This little magical plant is the source of the most naturally concentrated dimethyltryptamine (DMT) of any living thing on earth. DMT is a chemical present in all living things. It is produced by the pineal gland in humans. During traumatic events and at death the pineal gland floods the body with the magical chemical that creates the most euphoric rush of consciousness while syncing up with the direct line of divinity that connects all living things together as one. When using ayahuasca the DMT is so intense it allows a person to experience what it like to physically have your spirit set free from your body and join the great divine cosmos as we would experience when we die. This last about 10 – 30 minutes and then the DMT wears off and it is a matter of coming back to reality within a group of trusting people. For the uninitiated in psychedelic travels this seems a little intense. For folks like myself it is the holy grail of a good time with mother nature.

On one of my daily walks I decided to go venture down the road in which I walked into the national park. I wanted to see what all else there was that I may have walked by when I was heading to Palenque for the first time. I walked past a kid who was quick to offer me some shrooms. This was when the light went on and I asked him if anyone around there had some ayahuasca to which the blank look on his face told me he had no clue as to what I was even talking about. I tried to explain about connecting with the cosmos and he kept wanting to sell me shrooms. He told me to wait and went back to his little village area and came back with what I'm assuming is his big brother and dad who could have been professional wrestlers. Oh joy.

I was quickly informed that nobody, outside of a small village about a two hour walk through the jungle, had any ayahuasca but there where plenty of Mayan Mushrooms for sale. They just happened to be out for that day and I could always come back another morning when they are freshly picked out of the cow shit in which they sprout every night. Mother nature's cruel sarcasm at it's best. Here, have this amazing plant that will allow to commune with all of divinity but let it only grow in cow shit. Yep, thanks for that one. It also dawned on me that I was still walking around looking liking a tourist in hiking gear and really looked more like a soccer mom than someone wanting to try some heavy hallucinogenics.

As divine intervention is a glorious thing, I was at the watering area filling up my water bottles and washing my dirty bandanas in the cement clothes washing area. No washers or driers, only hard cement, bristled brushes and sunshine to keep clothes clean. On this day there was a woman there and we struck up a conversation as she was German and spoke English. It turned out that she made hand-made hippy gypsy style clothing and had a bunch of her stuff with her. So after an hour of trying stuff on and handing over a few hundred pesos I now had a very non-tourist look going for me. In true me fashion I now had a great new wardrobe but no shoes, or sandals in this instance, to go with any of it. It just happened my new German friend was making a trip to San Cristobal the following day and I was offered a ride there.

When the grounds keeper came to collect my daily rent of sixty pesos for my camping spot I let him know I would be gone for the next day and my stuff would still be there though. There was no problem at all and I even got to leave it there for free with charge for the time I was going to be gone. So the next day, I met up with my new German friend and another girl who was also from Argentina. We put our bags and packs in the back of her SUV and off we were to San Cristobal. The trek there is one of constant turns for hours going up mountains and through remote countryside. The views of the bright blue river running through the jungle was quite the sight to see. We were all enjoying the vast lush scenery and then we hit the military checkpoint.

A German, an Argentinian and an American are all in a vehicle driving through Mexico. With semi-full packs in the back and one of them speaking no Spanish at all. This may have looked mildly suspicious and why they asked us to get out of the vehicle. I have no idea what the German woman told that man but he looked in the back of the truck, smiled at us and said buenos días. It was a good feeling to know I was still on the way to San Cristóbal instead of a Mexican prison. To celebrate the moment we found a road side market that sold all kinds of products made of honey, cocoa and all kinds of various local nuts. So basically all kinds of really yummy stuff that was all made by local people. That was the one thing that was really great about Mexico is everything is almost always from that region wherever you are at. The food from one town to the next is always different as the ingredients are grown in different places. Which also makes for a really good time sampling various things along the trip.

San Cristobal is set up in the mountains and surrounded by peaks in every direction. It's a huge center of all kinds of everything mixing cobblestone streets and churches predating Columbus's “oops this isn't India” trip with a modern flair of electricity and markets. I found a hotel at the suggestion of the Argentinian girl who knew the city well and said it was a good place to stay. Being that I knew I was going to be doing a ton of walking I left the new wardrobe back at the campsite and was back in my backpacking tourist digs with my comfy hiking boots and day pack. It was still relatively early in the day so I went straight out and hit the streets to see what I could find. A) San Cristobal is a big town B) there is a ton of stuff to take in in every direction so C) off to the center of the town I would go.

There is an open air market next to one of the elder churches where anything and everything that can be made by hand is peddled for anyone who is seeking these particular things. I happened to pick up a hammock, several crystals from various vendors and a few pieces of jewelry that simply called to me while walking past them. It was a quick trip through the market to get the things in which I thought to be necessary for me to have. I then walked the streets of shops and restaurants filled with people mingling all about. The air full of tasty aromas while conversations of every sort were all the senses could behold.

I found a nice little clothing shop where I fell in love with a few dresses and some flattering scarves to compliment them as well. I was even lucky enough, after a lot of walking and searching, to find a store that sold sandals in my size. Which seemed like a miracle in and of itself. Now that I had all of my clothes, new sandals and a gorgeous pink woven satchel with hand stitched flower design on the outside it was time to head back to the hotel and get ready for the evening.

I quickly shed the backpacking tourists clothes and slipped into one of the very lovely dresses I had just purchased. I wrapped my hair up with scarf, put on my sandals and grabbed my pink satchel. In just a matter of minutes I went from being just another traveler to someone who belonged in this environment. I had the entire night to myself so I walked down to the music festival in the city square and even ran into my friend from Germany strolling with her acquaintance as well. Alone, I was a stranger in a strange land and yet felt completely content and overwhelmed with joy as I continued to take in San Cristobal at night.

I found a small diner on a corner off the beaten path and decided that was where I would be dining that evening. The gentleman working, and the the owner I am assuming, was very nice and most pleasant once he realized I spoke no Spanish. The freshness of food in the southern mountain town of Mexico are the best dishes on earth. Everything is grown, harvested and coked right there. As I enjoyed my meal I was visually captivated at the Mexican soap opera playing on the television. Something about the jovial overly dramatic acting that kept me focused until my meal was finished.

After dinner it as one more walk through town and back to the hotel to get some rest. All in all it was a very productive day with a lot accomplished. So much walking and yet my body and mind were at total peace. I packed up everything so that when I woke up all I had to do was get dressed and check out of the hotel. One would think that it would be apparent that with all the churches the sound of church bells would be less of a surprise than they actually were.

At the crack of dawn the first bells rang out and there was no going back to sleep after that one. I got up, put back on my hiking gear, strapped my pack into place and headed on out the door. The thing about mountain towns at dawn is it's a little chilly. Chilly like the inside of a refrigerator where it's not completely frozen and still has light breeze flowing. The fun kind of chilly. I was also up way before any shop, or house for that matter, was even remotely thinking of stirring. Evidently they are accustomed to the church bells at down. So while the town of San Cristobal lay in a slumber of misty fog with mountain peaks poking up to the sky I was off walking the streets and taking my own personal tour of the sleepy early morning San Cristobal.

I was walking down a slope on a one street and decided it was time to rest for some water and a banana. Upon taking off my pack and looking at what was behind me I was astonished at what I saw. The road went up at a steep angle and at the top of that road sat a giant church that beckoned me to go visit it. Once I was finished resting it was all about a nice leisurely stroll up the hill and to this church. The impetus to the trek was the giant stack of stair leading up to the church. I had to see what it was that sat atop of those stairs that I was supposed experience.

The gray misty fog dimmed the bright white exterior but the inside was remarkable. Churches built centuries ago had a certain flair to them. An ambiance of greatness if you will. This particular church definitely fell within that style of building. Everything was high polished wood where the hands and feet of many generations had left their marks of prayer where they walked, stood and prayed ever since this church first opened its doors to parishioners. I slid off my pack and left it tucked away off the side of the front door. There was no concern of it being stolen as I was in a church and if someone was that brave then let them go ahead try.

On this particular morning there was only one other person in the church. He was an older man making his rounds of prayer as he had probably done for quite some time. There was something very solemn in his body language. I could sense that even though he came this place for serenity there was still a great pain bothering him. He made his way around to the various alters and quietly spoke to whoever it was he felt connected to. He finished his personal sacrament while I was still taking in the sights of the church. I grabbed my pack and strapped it on as I saw the man going down the stairs back to be amongst the people again. I caught up with him almost at the bottom of the steps and with a smile I handed him one of the crystal hearts from my pouch. This single act of kindness of a stranger mad the man smile and regain his composure as the happiness spread through his entire being. One small act can make a world of difference.

After this experience I was compelled to go out and visit all of the the churches that I possibly could. These churches were built before the United States ever even fathomed a revolutionary war. They still stand in pristine condition as a testament to not only the people who built them but to the generations of people who have kept them in one solid piece since then. Each has it's own personal energy as you walk through the doors and take it all in. Every one of them felt as a place of great peace and harmony. The chaos outside of their walls would in no way permeate these hollowed halls of worship.

As the day clicked on it was time to head for the bus, or van with lots of seats that we will call a bus. On the way I passed a little indoor market that I decided to check out it was very fortunate that I had. There was a guy who was a combination baker and candy maker with all of wares stacked on tiered shelves in the open air for all to feast their eyes upon. There was pastry, cookies, chocolate this and sugar coated that all surrounded by a variety of things with glazed toppings. Any stall that can attract this many bees without a single person being stung must be making some really good stuff. I bought a easter basket style bunch of assorted everything to take back with me and a fresh cinnamon roll something or other than made my taste buds learn how to riverdance. Yes, it was that fucking good.

The thing about traveling in Mexico is there is the actual bus system, which is reliable and costs what a bus ticket would be expected to cost. Then there are the shuttle vans which cost way less and used by the locals. They hit every place the buses do just a whole lot more frequent and where claustrophobia is quickly a thing of the past. The thing is that when they are going from point to point they want to make the most they can so they pack as many people in as possible. As well as picking some folks up along the way in the rural area as they pass through. This would be my chosen method of returning to Palenque.

The earlier shuttle broke down along the route so as we caught up to them we took on a few more passengers. One of which was a guy from the US who was basically fed up with his job and life in general so he decided to take a week off and go to Mexico backpacking. Funny how two total strangers have so much in common right off the bat. He was glad to finally be able to talk with someone as his Spanish was lacking as well, so I gave him an open ear and let him unburden everything that he had built up inside of him. As we pulled into the bus stop in Palenque I gave him a crystal heart and wished him the best of luck with whatever he decided to do with life. Tiny little stones give people so much faith when placed in the palm of their hand.

This was the same bus station that I arrived at on my initial bus ride to Palenque. Except this time it was dark, as night had already fallen and all that the eye could see in the daylight was now in the seclusion of black shadow. I began trekking along the edge of the road because, well, that footpath I used earlier was now hidden amongst the vegetation and the road seemed like a much safer place as I could dodge the occasional car with ease. A little less than half way to my destination a car stopped and offered me a ride. It turned out they recognized me from the camping resort. It's kind of nice how the kindness of strangers just keeps on doing its thing.

The following morning as the spider monkeys began to growl I crawled out of bed and began putting my newly purchased goods to use. I used a carabiner on both ends of the hammock to string it up from one side of the cabana frame to the other. So now I had a swinging chair to sit in when using my desk. I could also slide it back so that I could lay down and rock in it while the breeze was blowing through the jungle as well. Hammocks make really great furniture when living in the jungle. I also now had my entire hippy gypsy ensemble of clothing to really pull it all together. The people I encountered while going to get my fruit that day no longer looked at me as the tourist any more.

This is where things sort of all just start meshing and really taking off as my journaling began to really become an adventure into my own self on a much deeper scale than I had ever imagined possible. Every stroke of the pen would propel me deeper and deeper into a trance as I ventured into aspects of my life that had been long forgotten and locked away. These were the hopes and dreams once held during the times of innocence. Back when I was a child and everything was possible without any regard for what tomorrow may have in store. At the time I had no idea where the journaling would be taking me but I was very eager and full of anticipation to found out.

[AshlynCreamher]

I want a Crystal Heart!

I celebrate your writing skills - very intertaining read!

[Brittany St Jordan]

I want a Crystal Heart!

I celebrate your writing skills - very intertaining read!

Should I have one on my when we meet it will be yours ;) Thank you for taking the time to read these posts.

[AshlynCreamher]

Should I have one on my when we meet it will be yours ;) Thank you for taking the time to read these posts.

Hehe :banana:

[Brittany St Jordan]

Road Trip Tour

So the road trip I’m going this time will be hitting the following cities

March 28th - New Orleans, LA (already booked but taking reservations should something fall through)

March 30th - Austin, TX

April 1st to 7th - Los Angeles, CA

April 8th and 9th - Denver, CO

April 11th - Columbus, OH

Be sure to read over my playtime options (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/playtime) and contact me when you are ready to set in motion the events that will lead the best fucking night of your life.

[TempestTS]

Road Trip Tour

So the road trip I’m going this time will be hitting the following cities

March 28th - New Orleans, LA (already booked but taking reservations should something fall through)

March 30th - Austin, TX

April 1st to 7th - Los Angeles, CA

April 8th and 9th - Denver, CO

April 11th - Columbus, OH

Be sure to read over my playtime options (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/playtime) and contact me when you are ready to set in motion the events that will lead the best fucking night of your life.


What no Minneapolis ???

[Brittany St Jordan]

What no Minneapolis ???

I'm tagging along with roommates on their already planned out road trip. So these are the locations I'll be hitting this time around. I'm sure at some point you will get to bend me over and ram your cock inside of me again lol

[TempestTS]

I'm tagging along with roommates on their already planned out road trip. So these are the locations I'll be hitting this time around. I'm sure at some point you will get to bend me over and ram your cock inside of me again lol

You know I spent the last few minutes coming up with an elaborate denial but actually thats exactly what I have in mind.

[Brittany St Jordan]

You know I spent the last few minutes coming up with an elaborate denial but actually thats exactly what I have in mind.

I saw it in my crystal ball ;)

[robertlouis]

I saw it in my crystal ball ;)

Don't you mean your, *ahem*, rear view mirror? :whistle:

[Brittany St Jordan]

Don't you mean your, *ahem*, rear view mirror? :whistle:

A crystal ball in my rear....??? hmmm

[robertlouis]

A crystal ball in my rear....??? hmmm

I'm sure it won't be the first time..... :)

[Brittany St Jordan]

I'm sure it won't be the first time..... :)

Nor the last lol

[robertlouis]

Nor the last lol

And just in case you've forgotten how...... :dancing:

[Brittany St Jordan]

X-Critic Review - The Best of I Kill It TS Volume 1

Check out of my latest reviews thanks to @ApacheWarrior over on X-critic.


http://gals.trans500.com/fhg/photos/brittanystjordan/trans500_07.jpg (http://gals.trans500.com/fhg/photos/brittanystjordan/?nats=NTQuMi4zLjMuMC4zODUuMC4wLjA)

"Scene Six: Ramon talks to Brittany St. Jordan in the corridor of a hotel. They end up going to her hotel room to make out. After she changes into something more comfortable, Ramon fondles her hot ass for a while before the woman sucks his big dick. She is quite impressed by his massive cock. Brittany does a fine job in orally pleasuring his manhood. A doggie screw follows and then, a reverse cowgirl ride. The sex is pretty solid. When the cowgirl ride occurs, Brittany’s moans sound hot. Then, the mish looks very hot as her asshole looks yummy. Their performance becomes so hot as Brittany’s butthole gets a cool workout. Ramon does not let up. Finally, he cums on her snatch.

Final Thoughts: This film is a pretty good one. There is hot sex in the scenes with Pamela Falcos and Ariel Everts. An intense one by Brittany St. Jordan and her partners Ramon and Castro Supreme. Meanwhile, Diosa is so pretty that she is a good pin-up star that guys can jack off to no matter what she does during her performance. I recommend this flick.”

Watch this scene right now!!! (http://gals.trans500.com/fhg/photos/brittanystjordan/?nats=NTQuMi4zLjMuMC4zODUuMC4wLjA)

[Brittany St Jordan]

Read the earlier chapters on my blog (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/MyStory)

The thing about being in the Mexican jungle is there are a lot of natural ways to experience life on completely whole new levels. Mainly really fresh marijuana and a lot of Mayan mushrooms. The marijuana was like going to the farmer's market and finding the freshest ear of corn picked that very day. After a little sample was offered to me by my bohemian neighbor I was laid out on my hammock staring at the center of the universe for what could have been ten minutes or ten decades. This magically delicious fresh herb was superb even to the best medical cannabis I'd ever smoked while living in LA.

After a little social networking with my neighbor I found a source to supply me with enough of this herb for at least six months. I ended up with a large freezer bag of freshly picked buds that still had a ton of moisture on them and had to be laid out in the sun for a little bit to prevent them from molding in the humid jungle environment. This began my morning routine became getting out some fresh herb and separating stems and seeds from the actual smokable parts. The groundskeeper was trimming up the plants on the path while I was prepping my daily toking material and all he ever did was wave hello and smile. Mexico's pretty awesome like that.

Wake up, get high, walk up to get my food, eat, get high some more and then relax in the hammock while the warm humid breeze was blowing through my little spot of personal Eden. This was how every day was spent before noon. Being a hippy chick living amongst nature is a really cathartic way to disengage from the entire world I was once a part of. Once I got back from a walk through the woods or another trip to the Palenque ruins I would sit there and write in my journal the rest of the day. Some days I would even go to the ruins and find some real intensely awe inspiring places to sit and let my mind wander to wherever it felt like going that particular day.

I kept being asked by tour guides and tourists if I knew where to get magic mushrooms and had I tried them. Well, no, I had yet to try them. However, since it seemed to be one of those things like when in Rome do as the Mayans and see what happens. There is no sign pointing to some magic shroom shop in the middle of the woods. It's actually much better than that. The local shrooms were gathered and sold my the local youth. All of the shroom purchases were done directly with kids around the age of sixteen or so. Talk about teaching youth about work ethics and entrepreneurial skills.

The path to the shroom shopping spot was only revealed once I let kid one know what I wanted and he saw I had the pesos to pay for it. He then led me to a trail where he pointed and left. Then a little ways off the road I would run into the kid I asked about the ayahuasca so we had our little “Hey, I know you, ah-ha” moment. He asked how much I wanted and said 200 pesos. He reached behind a log to pull out a plastic bag where the shrooms had been stashed out of the sunlight until sold. These kids really had their shit together when it comes to running a solid shroom business in the middle of fucking nowhere.

There is no daily allowances or suggested serving size when buying shrooms in the jungles from the local youth so the amount I got was about eight to twelve full shrooms of caps and stems. The tops were still white with the bright yellow sun in the middle. The stems still wet and flaked with the cow shit they were freshly plucked from that very morning. This is as organically fresh as one can possibly get when it comes to taking natural psychedelics. Being that there were no online reviews for the quality and customer satisfaction of such things I would have to take it upon myself to see exactly how these magical fungi would affect me.

I even planned out my munchie choices for the evening. I wanted to wait until it was dark out because bright lights are a real downer when tripping balls and the sun has no dimmer switch just so I can traverse all known universes while sitting in my hammock. I went with candy bars, cookies and a lot of fresh water. I made it a point to stay away from citrus. There is this little thing that happens whenever I'm tripping and ingest citrus. It clears out my digestive track like running a giant brillo pad through the grand canyon. There is nothing worse than having to run to a bathroom mid trip let along maneuver through the dark in the Mexican jungle looking like I'm auditioning for the lead part of The Fly while hoping to every divine dust in the cosmos that I'm actually heading in the right direction. Yea, so no fucking citrus.

As the sun started setting and the spider monkeys were beginning their evening gathering of the clans I began eating my first couple of shrooms. I figured it would take about thirty minutes to really kick in so I ate enough to get me started leaving the rest for later. There is nothing like the anticipation of taking hallucinogenics and waiting for it to kick in. It's like the voice in my head kicks in “Hello, this is your captain speaking. Hee hee hold the fuck on, this is going to be fucking awesome. No seriously, um, yea our cruising altitude tonight is going to be, well fuck I don't know, the moon. Ha ha ha yea, you're fucked hahahahaha.” Then slowly the anticipation turns to euphoria as solid objects mold into putty and the lightest buzz of an insect sounds like a fucking helicopter trying to land on my ear drum. Yep, I'm tripping balls now.

As I began slipping into wonderland I realized that A) I had enough shrooms for about four people to have a really good time and B) I had eaten my portion as well as the portions of two other people as well. The harder the hallucinations and giggle fits kicked in the more it started raining outside. Sitting in a cabana covered area with only candles, crystals, and watching the downpour of rain while surfing through the cosmos is quite the fucking experience. Without the bright light of the sun I was able to really enjoy the fractal formations that were floating all around me. The candlelight faded as the wind extinguished my only source of light and I was now on a whole new adventure that I was in no way ever fucking prepared for.

I sat there meditating with my various crystals and with each one being held in the palm of my left hand I would caress its surface with my right. The energy from within that crystal was shot through my body and emanated through the fractals floating above me. Thus, allowing me to directly converse with the crystal as it sat in my palm. Each one delivering messages of inspiration, motivation and direction for happiness and peace within. I got to learn the distinct personality and purpose for each of my crystals I had with my that night. It was such an intimate way of learning lessons while being directly connected the natural world surrounding me and the specific teachings of each of the crystals.

One of the things I learned that night was that the fractals seen during hallucinogenic voyages are actually an information system of interdimensional levels of existence which control the flow of existence in a continually ebbing and flowing stream of eternity. The fractals themselves are actually the resulting ripple in creation that is seen trailing behind the bead of energy flowing through the stream of the fractal. This ball of energy is the spirit, soul, divine essence or whatever anyone wants to call it. The fractal is merely a mapping of our individual energies and the bonds between the balls, relationships of any kind, are what allow the stream to flow forward, stay in place or remain being held back from advancing. Yea, this was just the tip of the holy fuck iceberg of things that were about to be revealed to me before the end of this evening's voyage to the center of all creation.

The next portion of my cosmic education while traversing the fractal stream through all of existence would be about memories and perception. Here we go. Everyone is an individual bead of cosmic energy connected to this reality by the sensory system known as the human body. Only by something being sensed by this organic system of electronic pulses passing along information at a cellular level is the projected reality of any individual created and perceived by the body. Once a sound wave is detected or the frequency of color reflected are those things actually detected and perceived to exist in that particular space. This creates a stored piece of information correlating these senses to this particular environment at that moment. This is a memory as we like to call them.

No two beings have the same perception of the same situation even when simultaneously sensing the incoming information of the frequencies around them. Each has a unique perspective of how they interpreted the incoming frequencies. We are taught that a green triangle is a green triangle but to someone else it could be an orange banana. It's just that their way of interpreting the environment is slightly different but even with the difference in structure having a common name for the compiled stream of information being interpreted as an object is uniquely different and yet still a common object known by different energy sources.

Each circumstance that is intercepted within the environment also causes the sensory system to release chemicals into the structure of the body which causes variations in interpretation of the same exact events by several beings at the same time. These concoctions of perception changing chemicals are what we commonly call emotions. These also have a direct bearing on how information within the environment is interpreted and stored as a memory. Without any further interaction with the environment concerning this memory it will remain the same for eternity.

The perception of existence is based mostly on assumption and very little on what is physically sensed. When sitting inside of a room with no open doors it is assumed that there is actual physically manifested things such as other rooms, people, planets, and universes. The sensory organs of the the body interpret information that it's able to sense and stores this information and the individual being of energy then creates its own reality based up the assumption of what it believes to exist beyond the boundaries of its current level of perception of the environment. So instead of focusing on the closest reaches of perceived reality, many beings stay focused on the assumed unknown and all the assumption to interfere with the information being interpreted from the reality which is right in front of them.

This is how many material items that were manifested at the time of the creation of the memory are horded forever in order to retain that memory. As long as that, or any item connected to that moment is manifested it will always carry that memory. A shirt, a card or anything that has what is referred to as sentimental value is simply that, sentimental, and has no real meaning or value other than the memory it continues to carry on. Grudges, resentment and ill will are also carried on much the same way as the memory that was created at the time of those events has no representation in the currently manifested reality as time has shifted. With that shift in time those memories that were created are merely placeholders for emotional backtracking of events through this particular span of perceived reality or life as we call it..

By breaking the bond of the emotions keeping memories in place we are able to free them and allow new memories to take hold. Letting the past be in the past and allowing us to carrying the lessons we learned without the baggage that taught us. Letting go of grudges and resentment of others because of the emotional feeling we have when dwelling on a particular memory that brings us pain. Allowing new memories to be forged from the happiness of the forgotten memories long buried by mountains of grief. This is how we begin to let go of the material world we put some much stake in and see the magical world of the cosmic energy which binds us all together.

That energy is what we call love. This is a much deeper and stronger force than that of what we have been forced to believe. True, divine, spiritual bonds of love are what we all are. This is far from anything dealing with religion's notions of divinity. Divinity as in a cosmic collective of energy with a force flowing from one to the other. This force, this love, is the one thing that allows creation to continue on. We get so wrapped up in our world of the assumed that we lose sight of what we manifest right in front of us all of the time.

Our hopes, dreams, fears and anxieties are all right here staring us directly in the face and it's up to us to embrace all of them equally. By denying equal love to every facet of our very self we become our own worst enemy. By embracing all that makes us who we are it enables to love everything that we manifest into our reality and then the environment becomes a more complete place of true unconditional love that is resonated beyond any length of light traveling through the galaxy of assumption we have taught that is beyond our atmosphere.

The meaning to why we are here. What is life all about? Unconditional love.

I have no fucking idea what time it was but the rain was now pouring down and people were running for cover in every direction. This was no hallucination. I made sure to inquire with my neighbor about it the next day. As they were running for cover I remember sitting there laughing because well, watching people running through the dark while shouting profanities in several languages trying to avoid the deluge of rain is rather fucking comical.

While everyone was running through the flood waters I was busy snacking on the glorious food which I set aside this evening's voyage. The following morning I would get a quick lesson in how pissed off a pile of ants snacking on cookie crumbs can get when you step on them in bare feet. Yea, those little creatures of wrath left marks on my feet and ankles that are still there. Next time I go tripping balls in the woods I need to put out my “No Angry Ants Allowed” banners.

I spent the better part of two days coming down and recovering from my experience with Mayan shrooms. I'm convinced there's something unique in the ground being eaten by the cows and the combination of whatever it is mixed with the fungus creates some of the most powerful voyages into the realm of the unseen, yet always felt, existence of the void that thrives in the negative space of perception. Or something like that, yea.

So fast forward a couple of weeks and skipping a few little trips and treks I may or may not discuss at a later date and time, I get inspired by a realization. I was sitting there reading through my journal and I realized something very much woven into everything that I had been writing which brought clarity as to why I was there in Mexico in the first place. This is where things get really fucking exciting.

The realization I had was that I was afraid to die. Ok, no brainer, nobody really wants to die but death was the reason I was there in paradise. The whole aliens coming to kill everyone was just hopeful thinking that I would taken out without having to do it myself. This once again really peaked my interests in getting some ayahuasca to experience a sample of what it is like to die. What happens when the DMT floods the sensory system of the body and we are no longer connected to this perceived reality? This was what I wanted to know. All it took was a trip to the ruins and a tour guide mentioned that the city was originally painted red as the color of death and how death was an honor for the Mayans. To them it marked the beginning of something greater.

After my experience with the shrooms I knew they would put me out into the hallucinogenic state as ayahuasca. However, I would have to find a way to trigger the DMT. Being that the energy fields around us are a vortex running through our chakras I decided that closing off one of those chakras would be all I had to do in order to experience what it's like to die. The chakra of choice was the the throat chakra as I could easily bind it in a way that once I went out the pressure on my throat would be released and I would regain consciousness once again. I had no idea what was going to happen but I was about to find out what it's like to experience the moment of death.

This time when I went to the local shroom dealer I ended up getting a little over twice the amount that I had previously. As I sat there preparing my area for the night's voyage into the great unknown I was reading my journal and realized for the past several days I had been reconnecting to long forgotten memories as I put them into writing my life was playing out before my eyes. I was experiencing all of the things that brought joy into my life and it put my mind at peace. It gave me the inner harmony to be able to experience death with a heart full of love instead of a heart full of anger. This was the one last thing that put me at ease with my experiment with death.

My initial idea was that I would lay in my hammock and use some of the excess portions on the sides put around my throat chakra while I extended my arm straight up until I passed out. Then my arm would fall down to release the pressure. Before I cold test this I would have to eat the shrooms I had just purchased. Just as before, I waited until it was right before dusk and then downed every last morsel of cow shit covered fungus to begin my journey. There was no crystals or candles this time. I had only one purpose on this night and that was to experience what death is like. What could be so scary about it?

As the effects of the shrooms were kicking in I began leaning my neck on the strings supporting the hammock to get a feel for it. The sensation was actually quite pleasing. There was a highly erotic response to having my throat chakra restricted. The other sensory systems of the body quickly kick in and make everything feel amazing. It's like self-produced morphine and MDMA flooding every cell of my body. The more restricted the airflow became the more intense the sensations of pleasure became. As it continued to heighten I knew it was time to go a step further.

I began testing my arm in the air theory with the string of the hammock. As the throat chakra was clinched shut and I passed out I remain completely conscious as if merely closing my eyes while experiencing the sensations of losing consciousness. Just as I thought would happen, as soon as my arm went down I fizzled back to being awake. One seamless action from start to finish and I was able to experience every sensation throughout the entire span. This was of course too interesting to only try once.

I kept playing with the string and each time I would fizzle out and come back it was such a euphoric rush of every pleasant feeling of everything all at once. The fear of what would happen was no longer even a concern any longer. Now all I could fathom was just how far I could go with this. I had no idea where I was going but I knew the hammock had served its purpose and I was now going inside my tent. Here I was alone and ready to experience whatever it was I possibly could as there was nothing to stop me from getting the most out of my voyages of the night.

To get things going a little more than before I began doing the arm in the air with a tshirt around my throat chakra which allowed for more coverage than the string. This was a way more intense ride for sure. The fizzle effect of going out was such an enthralling experience that I continued doing it several times. There is nothing like staying completely conscious while the body is being shut off but the mind is still very much aware. Now that I had gotten to this point I decide it was paramount I go as far with this so that I was sure to experience all levels of possibility.

My next level of intensity would involve using a blanket wrapped around my throat chakra so that I had an end in either hand on the sides to that the tighter I pulled the more restriction I was able to produce. I laid there on my back with a very snug pull on the ends at first. This provoked my sensory system into a state of instant euphoria. With my eyes closed I could visualize the various layers of my body as a cross-section and with very distinct colors of each layer. The more resistance I created the more colors there were that went black. I was pulling as tight as I possibly could and yet there were still layers left to restrict.

This was when every alarm system designed to prevent such a thing from happening all went off. I could hear crying children, traffic accidents and people screaming over the sight of discovering my body. Another means to get my attention was my cock was hard enough I could shatter concrete with it. Every possible sensory system was in an all out panic as I continued down the rabbit hole. It was at this point I had the realization these were all merely distractions. Everything in life was only serving as distraction from death. This was the internal piece of motivation I needed to go further.

I continually repeated in my head “It's all just a distraction” as I continued putting out more lit up layers as the restricted vortex was nearing the state of being stopped. I gripped the ends of the towel and with every bit of strength I have in my body I pushed myself beyond the limits of what the human body is designed to handle. In that single moment there was a pop. The breath that was going in with the vortex of energy had been stopped and exited back out the way it came. With his pop I was no longer connected to the material body in which I had just been a part off. All of the lights were out and I had just experienced what it is like to die.

There was no fear, no anxiety, no anything. Just freedom from every binding tie of mortality of a world which only existed because I believed it did. Everything was quiet. There was no sound frequencies, no colors, there was nothing to perceive and no sensory system to interpret the information. There was only serenity and peace of being in a place where nothing could ever cause any harm. I was enjoying the abundant harmony when I had the prospect of wanting to share this experience with those closest to me. I let the idea of going back enter this space and my wish came true.

Instantly I was thrust through whatever channels there were connecting this place and the perceived reality I had just left behind. It was as if a deck of cards was being shuffled together as the sounds and smells of the jungle and the sound of the rain were all very much there once again. As the last piece shifted into place I felt the breath once again enter my lungs as my body lurched upward gasping for air. The towel still firmly wrapped around my throat chakra just as I had left it. I quickly removed it and took in several deep breaths as I realized I did it. I fucking died.

“I gotta call John!”

[Brittany St Jordan]

Read all chapters on my blog (http://brittanystjordan.tumblr.com/MyStory)

Chapter 16 - Blessings From The Curse

We walk down the brightly lit hallway that opens up to a large room with beds lined in rows on either side. The nurse's chatter and run their errands as we make our way to our weekly destination. Along with my mother and my aunt, we are once again visiting my grandmother and give her the ice water we picked up on the way to see her at the state hospital. This would be my first and only memory I would know of my mother's mother. A thousand yard stare while strapped to a hospital bed while attempting to suck water out of plastic straw provided by the only two of her children that ever visited her. This was her life until she eventually died a slow lonely death.

I asked my mother what happened to her and, at the ripe age of around five or so, I'm told that she has Huntington's. “How did she get it?” I inquired with childish wonder. I was told she was born with it and it eventually made her sick. “So it was given to her from her mommy?” was my next question of my little Q&A with my own mommy. To which I was informed that yes, it does come from the mommy or daddy but it's 50/50 chance that a baby can get it. “Can I get it?” was my next question filled with sudden paranoia and fear. To which I was assured that only if my mommy had it could I ever get it. Want to guess won the fuck you lottery that day?

Huntington's disease, or HD as it's become known as in more PC circles, is a hereditary condition that is passed on from parent to child and is one of the worst fucking ways to ever experience life. It's basically a ticking time bomb until a rouge protein goes off the reservation and begins devouring the brain from the inside out. There is no pain. Only a gradual slow decent into a state of helplessness, loneliness and usually death by swallowing their tongue. From one day to the next there is no way of knowing if that is going to be the day when the physical signs begin to show.

The outward signs are sporadic uncontrollable movements of the arms and legs. Balance goes to shit real quick and irritability skyrockets as frustration of becoming helpless takes over all rational thought processes. This is what I learned as a child. No you can be president, run a company or live a normal life of any kind because you are permanently diseased without a cure. Right now there is progress being made, yet there is no definitive cure for Huntington's. There is no slowing it down either. The best modern medicine has been able to is suppress the movements with pills and keep patients doped up enough that the highlight of their day is when some orderly comes in and changes their diaper for them.

People say life is unfair and until they've stood a moment in my shoes and have seen the world through my eyes they will never really understand just how fucking unfair life can be. I've been tested twice and both results have come back with a very unfair diagnoses of “ha ha you're fucked” with positive traits in my DNA for carrying the gene for HD. On both of these occasions I handled them very differently as they were done years apart. The acidic pit that burned inside of my stomach was still the same though.

The first test was done at UCLA when my future wife found out she was pregnant. Yea, oh fuck doesn't even come close to the thoughts that went rushing through my mind at that moment. This was when I decided to get checked because if there was a kid on the way I was going to have to have a really long talk with my fiance. The entire ride from the Marine base to the hospital I was thinking only about how this all played out with my mother and how much I fucking hated her at that very moment.

Back during the grand old days of her boyfriend Bob, a conversation between him and I let the cat out of the bag that my mom had been tested for HD and known for three years at that point and had kept it from me. Pissed? I stormed into the trailer and confronted her with the fury of several pits of hell. When she confirmed it I was overcome with every emotion multiplied by a nuclear ton of fuck you as I let a verbal assault fly through my vocal chords. I was hurt and angry beyond rational comprehension. Every single drop of venomous hatred was directed right at the very cunt who brought me into the world.

This was the fuel that flamed the resulting hatred and disregard for life that propelled me through a better portion of my life. No amount of alcohol or copious amounts of pot could ever make it stop. Nothing could ever make that pain go away. This was why I was able to join Bob on the really fucked up joyride spree of terror that we did against my mother. In no way does it excuse my actions but it sheds some light onto why those things happened the way they did back then. It was a lot of hurt and I took that pain and I learned how to use it to my advantage.

My life has been one big middle finger to death because when you know that you're pretty much fucked the idea of sticking around that long to become a vegetable becomes the last fucking thing on any bucket list. My first stop was the Marines. I passed the ASVAB (test for career placement in the military) with a score high enough to do anything. I took infantry. Why? Because if a bullet is bound for my head and I die in battle I die a hero. That's the only reason I ever chose the grunts as my desired job field. It just happened that Uncle Sam thought I was a little too smart to be a gun monkey so I found myself in a mortar platoon instead.

I was still in the infantry but now there was no front line bullshit at all. I was now a good couple of miles away from anything should I ever get shipped off to combat. Well, so much for that plan. Instead of possibly taking a bullet to the skull I was carrying around really heavy pieces of equipment and doing everything but getting shot at. It was nice when we did things like high ropes courses and rappelling. I was all about the adrenaline, edge of the seat, holy fuck I might die kind of stuff. This all came to a crashing halt when I met Michelle, who ended up being my pregnant fiance.

So now that I found out my soon-to-be wife was pregnant I was freaked out beyond all belief. Nerves of steel become express lanes of anxiety. I had one of the guys I was stationed with give me a ride to hospital the day I got my results. No matter how much of a badass I thought I was, I was crying my head off the entire ride back to base in front of my fellow Marine. I was devastated as there is no way to ever mentally prepare yourself that you definitely have a genetic mutation that will eventually siphon away your life until all that is left is an empty shell of your former self. Throw in the fact that my fiance is now knocked and the oh fuck factor gets a little too high to do anything other than cry.

Breaking this news to Michelle was last thing I wanted to do and yet it was the first thing I knew I had to do when I got back to base. She could tell I was shaken up when she heard my voice. In my best half mumbling, sort of serious, and teetering on fucking scared as fuck I told her the family history. And then oh, by the way, I got these results today. Her sudden silence meant that she definitely heard what I said and it was slowly sinking in. It was real fast too. She was all aboard the oh fuck express and we were both looking for answers to get to the next stop so we could get off.

In a strange twist of fate, the kid wasn't mine. Michelle met someone during one of our breakups and it was his. So I dodged two bullets on that one but now I was stuck with the knowledge of knowing for certain that I had in fact carried the gene for Huntington's. Would it be better to not know and always have the nagging suspicion that it was there? Some say ignorance is bliss and if that is so I was the smartest person on earth that day.

When I left the Marines after my first four years it was only a few months before some airplanes flew into some building in New York City. I just finished four years of hauling around mortar gear and I was set on leaving that in the past. Being that I knew friends were getting recalled I made sure I got into another field on my own. A few visits to the local recruiting office and I was now going back on active duty as a computer geek. The best part of being a computer geek is I get so focused on what I'm doing that my mind had very minimal time to wander inside of itself and go on adventures down every rabbit hole of possibility.

A divorce, followed by another heartbreaking relationship and some wounded pride found me doing a lot of drinking and then a little more good measure. Because if somehow I got way too wasted and ended up dead, well, no veggie bed for me. This was also about the time I bought my Glock .45 which I really loved. I could drop someone up to twenty yards and most importantly I now had an exit strategy should I need it.

As the Marine Corps life came to an end I found myself on the path that would land me and Kassy together. A house, some cars and a few dogs is all we needed to give the outward projection that we were the happy family next door. It was somewhere toward the middle of 2010 that the Huntington's thing had been rearing it's head again and I had the second test performed. I had someone to love, a great job and awesome dogs. Life was good and all I could do was sit back and let my mind wander about how fucked up my life was going to be. Once I found out Kassy had her side thing and we made the choice to break up for good I was devastated.

Kassy was gone away on a trip for the Navy for a few days and I was laying there alone in our bed. Alone with the thoughts of losing the house, losing her and not seeing my dogs ever again. I was leaving to pursue a life in porn and she was about to start a new life with her new love in her life. I had lost every bit of motivation to live at that point. All that kept running through my mind was who was ever going to love a damaged freak like me? There is no pill or surgery that fix what I have. This was the first time I contemplated using my Glock to say goodbye.

As I sat there and thought about the best place to turn my brain into a gray matter slurpee there was one thing that prevented it from happening. Who would be there to take care of Bumper? My dog was the only reason I found to keep from wiping my skull with .45 caliber cleaning solution. I barely slept that night and had found a much greater appreciation for Bumper. Without doing a single thing other than be there for me to love he saved my life that night. I decided I would suffer another day of battling Huntington's than leave my dog. I was so close.

Off I went to the land of porn and wonder. As I wrote earlier, that ended with me making a trip to see my grandmother and saying goodbye to my mom while I was there in PA. It was one of the few times I've seen my mother since we went to court about the Bob tirade. It was almost ten years that went by without my saying a word to her. No cards, no phone calls, not even a simple smoke single to say fuck you. Then my Grandmother had heard through the local grapevine my mom was put into an assisted living facility. Apartments for old people who can no longer handle life on their own. This little tidbit of news was a bit much for me to take. No matter how much I resented her for giving me the family curse, as we called it, I still loved the woman that was my mother. Funny how this shit happens.

I made a trip to visit her and the security box rang her number but there was no answer. Being that I was still on active duty and looked presentable and less threatening to the elderly, a gentleman came over and let me in. Of course my mom would have to be almost at the far end of the building so I had a nice long walk thinking about what to say. I got to her door and knocked. As it opened up and she peeked out I said “Hi Mom, it's me.” with a smile and wave. I'm unsure who was in more shock at that moment.

Going into to this apartment hurt. There was nothing pleasant or happy about it. It was full of sadness and misery from top to bottom. Barely any light was coming in, the thick choking ashtray smell of chain smoking and a single chair position directly in front of the television about ten feet away. This was all my mother did. Sit in this chair and watch her life tick by one television show at a time while sucking down cigarettes. The only other thing that was in her line of view was the most heart wrenching thing I've ever fucking witnessed in my entire life. A photo of me.

For ten years this woman has been sitting there watching television and staring at a photo of me from back in high school. I wanted to carve my heart out of chest right then as I felt I was undeserving to even have one at that point. All the bitter angst and feelings of hatred melted instantly. This voyage to the loneliest place in existence was my turning point in forgiving my Mother for everything. Forgiving someone for all of the anger you had for them is no easy thing. Yes, it was her that may have caused it but it was me that held on to it for so long.

We both said our apologies for what happened and started staying in touch the best we could with me living out of state. Things were going along good for a little while until she was no longer able to make to the grocery store without losing her balance and falling down. She was taken from the assisted living and put into the nursing home. I have visited her there whenever I was in PA and always took the dogs with me when I had them. Dogs really do brighten up the visit a bit as it's a nice break of the routine.

On some of the visits I shot some video footage and when comparing the changes from one to the other it was apparent that her downhill spiral with HD was now picking up traction. Her ability to talk was slightly more difficult for her to enunciate words. The ability to hold herself upright was leaving her body. It was like watching someone rapidly age in a matter of years. It also tore me apart on so many levels because I knew this was my eventual end as well.

The last time I saw my Mother she was barely a shell of who she used to be. It's hard to see her like that and not want to just fucking curl up in a ball and cry. This was the woman who kicked my door off the hinges when I called her a bitch for waking me for school one morning. Now she was sitting around a piss scented nursing home with people who have 20 – 30 years on her and who have the ability to walk and not shit themselves all day. Compound this with the fact that she hates it there and it makes visiting just as heart wrenching as the time I saw the photo on the television for the first time.

Huntington's is more than just a deterioration of gray matter that turns your body into a life sentence in solitary confinement. It's hard for even the ones who love you the most to come see you because it takes a toll on them as well. My aunts visit from time to time I've been told. At this point I don't know if I can actually bring myself to see her in an even more deteriorated state than when I last saw her. I refuse to let that be the final memory that is stuck in my head about my last visit with my Mother.

While I was doing my thing in porn there was always questions about being afraid of catching AIDS. That would be the least of my problems. There are pills that can slow down AIDS and HIV as well as some new breakthroughs that can possible prevent and, in some cases, cure. Guess what? Not fucking Huntington's. Cancer, AIDS and every VD out there has nothing on HD. Oh, you can get sick and die? In my world that would be a luxury. Think about that for a moment. Cancer would be an easier way to die than living a life with HD.

When I was prepping for my trip to Mexico, Aethena mentioned that the whole thing was some huge mind trip brought on by Huntington's and I was going to end up killing myself in the jungle. Well, she was sort of right. Before I left I took apart my Glock and destroyed it so that it would be impossible to ever put back together again. I physically destroyed the one thing I kept around so that I could use it as an early exit system should I have to. My journey into Mexico was one of love with no intention of causing harm to anyone, especially myself.

What happened in Mexico could be seen as a suicide attempt, as it has been pointed out to me various times. However, I was in no way wanting to leave this world because I hated my life. There wasn't even a glimmering thought of HD throughout the entire experience in Mexico. Regardless of how it wants to perceived by whoever is reacting to the story there is one very strong truth that remains. At that point, I had made peace with everything in my life. This includes all of the self-induced trauma of stressing out about Huntington's. It was the happiest moment of my fucking life when I died that night.

Upon my return to LA and telling everyone about what I did I found myself with nowhere to call home and eventually ended up homeless in Las Vegas. Having nothing and nobody to turn to gave me a grand appreciation for the things in life that really matter. Honest human connections based upon love. When living on the streets there is no place for hatred. Yes, some folks get a little testy at times and fights break out but when you have almost nothing you will find to defend that one thing to the death.

I ended up getting involved with someone and living with them. That was until I told them to come out of the closet and stop being afraid to be called gay because we were together. That little conversation landed me on a bus for four and half days from Vegas to DC where I was picked up and taken back to the same house I lived at when I got out of the Marine Corps. Everything had gone completely full circle, I had a safe place to call home and even though I was surrounded by amazing friends all around me I was in a state of depression and isolation for a long time after my return.

One of the many things I realized was that I had a lot to talk about and so that is why this writing process was started. While going through and facing all of these parts of my past I've had to consistently relive a lot of hurt and pain and wanted to keep from spreading that pain to those I care about the most. This has been a very trying and exhausting experience to finally work through the things in my past that I let limit me from really enjoy life to the fullest without having to build up walls of protection around me. Once I got past my fear of death there was a whole new area of long forgotten repressed emotions and now I'm finally dealing with them.

People have questioned me on revealing my birth name, legal name and stage name throughout all of this. The truth is I've always been Brittany St Jordan. The hard rocker goth badass chick was just the thing I needed to keep the world at arm's reach while still functioning within it. BSJ was my way of becoming all the things I wanted to be but was too afraid to do in my day to day life. In an ironic twist the persona of Brittany St Jordan has become something more and given me the ability to expose my deepest most emotions without fear of any kind. The very persona that was created to protect me is now my way of exposing every vulnerability within me.

Whether my name is Jason, Renae or Brittany there will always be the same person who was a scared child who kept the world in check with anger who is now able to keep the world at peace with love. This is by far the greatest lesson I've learned through all of this. Love and fear are the only two options for making choices. When those choices are made because of love the results are quite magical. When they are made from a place of fear the outcome becomes that fear manifested right in front of you. The key is to be able to realize which is which and how to adjust the manner of which choices are made and life can be quite beautiful.

It took me this long to write all of this because I was so caught up in dealing with the past that I was unable to fully appreciate the things right in front of me. I knew this. I knew it was going to be a dark journey into the center of my own personal abyss. While I was dwelling there, I was contacted by someone who had seen my profile on an online dating site. For whatever reason, from the very first email and eventual text messages, I was more honest right from the start with this girl that I had been with anyone in probably about ten years. More so, I was being honest with myself and showing her the real person beneath the Brittany St Jordan facade.

Yes, as in has a vagina she was born with, girl. I had been having some very interesting times with a couple of girls before we had met. It turns out that being off of my estrogen and testosterone blockers is actually kind of a nice thing. I spent so long trying to be something beyond myself that I completely lost all sense of who I really am. Who is Brittany without the cameras rolling, without entertaining people and without feminizing hormones? A much happier person who accepts her gender within the body she was given.

Here is the thing I've found about taking pills. I've always gotten on my soapbox about people who take anti-depressants, sleeping pills, and all other kinds of pills to make them think life is all better. My classic take on it was I only taking HRT but nothing else. That's like saying I only do heroin but at least it's not meth. It's still chemically altering the body to do something that it's a total conflict of the biology of my body. So I set out to see just what would happen without those magic little pills.

It turns out that getting erections is a little unsettling at first but I've found ways to go out in public without anyone noticing. I've even started wearing yoga pants in public and there is no unsightly bump at all. Another thing is body hair comes in a lot faster. Epilator, tweezers and razors are amazing at taking care of that so no big deal. And the other thing is using a dick what it's deigned for, going into pussy, feels pretty fucking good. I know, I'm the freak because I use my dick the way it was intended.

So does this mean a total back to all out guy? No, I hated being a guy. I've always enjoyed being feminine and I just happened to also like girls. It was something I gave up on when my last relationship went south right before I decided to live as a girl. What girl in their right mind would want to be in a lesbian relationship with me? Evidently someone from my local area who found me on an online dating site. Yea, it's still rocking my world a little bit.

After a week or so of text messaging we finally set up a day to go out for brunch and go through the interview portion of a first date. I was instantly drawn to this girl from the moment I sat in her car. Emotionally it was like sitting in the middle of a tornado but simply by having her there everything felt perfectly safe. I knew right there that either this girl was going to break my heart into a million pieces or she's going to be the beacon of light my life is in need of. There is only one way to find out.

Open honest communication is by far something most of my relationships have never been built on. This girl deserves the real me so I let down the bullshit barriers from day one. Since then it has been more and more of my own personal barriers put up to keep the world out being shattered to pieces. I'm constantly finding myself facing past anxieties of how people treated me and force myself to keep from applying the same repressed memories to this brand new budding relationship. Each time this happens I find myself smiling in victory of overcoming my own limitations and find myself very thankful to have someone in my life to give me the motivation to do this.

I gave up on life a long time ago. I resigned myself to fate and have been going through the motions of keeping my head above water so that I can wake up and do it all again another day. I've been living and surviving. Now, my life is thriving. All it took was one amazing girl out of nowhere to give me the hope and inspiration I need to finally be able to enjoy a life of love instead of a life of fear. It's a really great feeling to actually be here and see exactly what I've been missing out on while I've been feeling sorry for myself.

One of our conversations concerned us sharing particular things about one another since we have found ourselves getting emotionally invested in our relationship. This was when I told her about my Huntington's. It has been so long since I've brought up the topic with anyone that I was scared to talk about it. Her reaction was one of reassurance and a heartfelt kiss followed by snuggling her head onto my chest. This was more than I could have asked for in a response to me ever telling someone about Huntington's. It was this single act of humanity to break down the last few walls I had to keep the world out.

Along with this I now have someone in my life who enjoys all of the aspects about myself that I had kept hidden for a very long time because I either felt ashamed of them or felt that I wanted to be something else to fit in with everyone else. I gave up on working out as I wanted that nice soft round body of a feminine physique. Now I’ve discovered that not only do I have an amazing body that many women desire to have but also that strong is sexy. Regaining that bit of self-confidence is like being infused with the essence of goddess of unlimited power.

It has been a domino effect ever since finding my light at the end of the tunnel. One thing after another has me facing internal demons and I keep slaying them each and every time. I'm finally free of the chains I wrapped around myself to protect myself from the world around me. Having that driving force to fill me with the desire to crawl out of bed each and everyday and push myself out of my comfort zone is exactly what I needed to put my ass into gear. I still have plenty of life left and there is so much to enjoy instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

The twist to the story is that she also has a boyfriend, who she has been with for quite awhile. Since moving back to VA I've been introduced to the world of polyamory. Which is having multiple relationships at once. Love for many. The way she found me online is her boyfriend was a fan of my porn and gave her the idea to contact me. Because of this, my Huntington's has caused me to live a life full of such rich experiences which led me to the world of porn and ended up being the catalyst to meeting the girl of my dreams. I have miraculously dropped all of my boundaries and my curse has now become blessing.

So here I sit on the edge of a world of nothing but new beginnings and brighter possibilities. As the final sparks of an eradicated past fizzles off into nothing I have only the wide open world of everything right in front of me. Every choice I make from here on out can either be of love or fear and since there is nothing to fear but fear itself it looks like my world is about to be a whole lot brighter in ways beyond my wildest imagination. Now everyday is a good day to be me.

As far as the Huntington's goes, the one major hope I'm holding on to is stem cell treatment that can eradicate and heal any of the damage done to the brain. As the new angel in my life has pointed out to me, I have a much greater chance at something coming along than any of my family did before me. She also pointed out that in the mean time I have to fill my life with people that bring me happiness. Which is why I'm keeping her around.

I have no idea what tomorrow may bring. I do know this though. My life is fucking amazing and my past has brought me to where I am today. However, it no longer defines who I am. I'm more than a scared child, a badass Marine or a sexy porn star. I'm a culmination of every happy moment and blissful memory that I've ever experienced throughout my existence. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow my never come so all I have is right now, here, today and I'm going to make it the best right now that I possibly fucking can.

I'm going to live forever or die trying.

[Rusty Eldora]

Brittany - a great thread by a hot woman.

[Brittany St Jordan]

In the two weeks since doing my first broadcast on Chaturbate (http://brittanystjordannsfw.tumblr.com/CamShow)I’ve had the best time as a cam model ever. With a constant peak between 200 and 400 viewers per show and just over 1200 followers it’s been a very exciting time for me. I’ve already added a couple of new video clips and adding photo sets almost every day which means there’s plenty of luscious content there for you to see even when I’m offline. There is also an option to join my fan club which gives you full access to all of my photos and videos 24/7.

Huge hugs and thank yous to everyone who has come through my room and made this jump to a new site more exhilarating than I could’ve ever hoped for. It’s all because of you who support (http://brittanystjordannsfw.tumblr.com/CamShow)and spoil (http://amzn.com/w/2JBJLICDWHZDE)me that keep me doing what I do. As long as you keep me going I’ll keep on doing what I do to keep you all well enthralled and entertained for a very long time.

Wanting to become a cam model? Come give a shot (http://brittanystjordannsfw.tumblr.com/CamSignUp)!!!

[Brittany St Jordan]

After the registration lapsed on my domain, brittanystjordan.com, it was picked up by cyber squatter who, at one point, was auctioning it off for $600. I recently tracked down the latest party who had control of my little piece of internet real estate. After a little negotiation I finally have my domain back and paid well under the $600 auction price to once again regain control of something I started for $25.

Right now there is no membership site anymore so I'm using the domain to take you to my Clips4sale (http://clips4sale.com/46418) store where I'm uploading my old videos and any new clips I make as well. It's been a rough and tumble past couple of years but did you really think a bit of losing everything and being homeless would keep me from doing the things I love? Fuck that bullshit!

So the more you come join in on my cam shows (http://brittanystjordannsfw.tumblr.com/CamShow) and hit up my Clips4Sale (http://clips4sale.com/46418) site the quicker I'll have the equipment to produce high quality content for the world to enjoy once again. I would like to give my thanks to each and every person who has spent their hard earned money to support me in any way possible over the years. You're the ones that keep this fire burning and provide the means for me to enjoy doing the job that I love.

I fucking love you all!!!

[Brittany St Jordan]

Story Book Princess photo set now available on my Chaturbate profile (http://brittanystjordannsfw.tumblr.com/CamShow)


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https://38.media.tumblr.com/62a3e802a624f73ed9725d38b305049d/tumblr_ncyc7hQhxW1tc59a4o1_500.jpg (http://brittanystjordannsfw.tumblr.com/CamShow)

[youngblood61]

Looking so good Brit!:)

[MrFanti]

And the strong will survive! :pumped:
Great to see you back on your feet & headed in the direction that you want to go.

I'll check out your C4S site to see how I can help you out..;)



Right now there is no membership site anymore so I'm using the domain to take you to my Clips4sale (http://clips4sale.com/46418) store where I'm uploading my old videos and any new clips I make as well. It's been a rough and tumble past couple of years but did you really think a bit of losing everything and being homeless would keep me from doing the things I love? Fuck that bullshit!

So the more you come join in on my cam shows (http://brittanystjordannsfw.tumblr.com/CamShow) and hit up my Clips4Sale (http://clips4sale.com/46418) site the quicker I'll have the equipment to produce high quality content for the world to enjoy once again. I would like to give my thanks to each and every person who has spent their hard earned money to support me in any way possible over the years. You're the ones that keep this fire burning and provide the means for me to enjoy doing the job that I love.

I fucking love you all!!!

[Brittany St Jordan]

That's right, I'm back bitches and BrittanyStJordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com) is online once again. Right now it's still a work in progress but there is a whole bunch of video clips to perv out to as well as some great photo content. These pics here are from a set I just posted today so be sure to go check it out. I have the price set at $12.95 a month to get access to all available photos and videos. I'm in the process of adding what content I was able to salvage from my last solo venture. For those of you who enjoyed it while it was online you now get do so all over again. I'm currently working on getting a bunch of new photos added weekly. Once I get geared up to shoot video again there will be some new clips for you to enjoy as well.

Kick back, click the link (http://brittanystjordan.com) and enjoy!


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(http://brittanystjordan.com)

[krissy4u]

SO great to see you back, in a good place, and looking as gorgeous as always!

[youngblood61]

Looking so sexy Brit. Glad too see you back luv!:dancing:

[MrFanti]

Welcome back! :pumped:

[Brittany St Jordan]

Happy Titty Tuesday from BrittanyStJordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com)


https://41.media.tumblr.com/c5fe90d0b8a7f958e3827277aabb30fb/tumblr_nnw5gsbAKN1tc59a4o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[youngblood61]

I thank you Brit!:)

[jake999]

Drop dead gorgeous ������

[cassieukts]

Wow, absolutely stunning!


Happy Titty Tuesday from BrittanyStJordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com)


https://41.media.tumblr.com/c5fe90d0b8a7f958e3827277aabb30fb/tumblr_nnw5gsbAKN1tc59a4o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[Brittany St Jordan]

This week on brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com) -Sweater dress with flashy hot pink tights and shiny white boots with silver buckles - Dress and boots were graciously sent to me via my wishlist - http://amzn.com/w/2JBJLICDWHZDE



https://40.media.tumblr.com/8202859513582f8a299474907aac6ba6/tumblr_no7an6tk0p1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://36.media.tumblr.com/8e600c26da6fa6620ec81d86830f5655/tumblr_no7am8hwYN1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://36.media.tumblr.com/03d168243fd4d9be12a5bc5d0614dfc3/tumblr_no7anjH5JR1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://40.media.tumblr.com/78dbe817e07dab5d5768a561089b3b62/tumblr_no7aqirnU71tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://41.media.tumblr.com/68c60b95e26b634d943e2572b1aaf20a/tumblr_no7aqz9vUb1tc59a4o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[youngblood61]

Good stuff Brit!:)

[cassieukts]

Looking amazing as always!

[Brittany St Jordan]

http://imagecdn.clips4sale.com/accounts127/46418/clip_images/generated_13484192.gif

http://imagecdn.clips4sale.com/accounts127/46418/clip_images/generated_13484320.gif (http://brittanystjordan.com)

It’s #TBT and this week you get a double dose from BrittanyStJordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com). Both of these videos are once again now live on my site for your viewing pleasure.

First up is Kiki’s Surprise - Brittany having a very sexually charged time teasing and unwrapping the amazingly sexy Kiki Daire. Things heat up and go from sensually playful to some of the some of the hottest TS on Girl action you’ve ever seen. When all the pent up passion comes to a climax Brittany lets the cum shoot all over Kiki with an explosive facial. This is one scene you will definitely crave to see again and again.

The second video is Peepshow Shower - Get a super close voyeuristic view as Brittany gets dirty while getting clean.

See both of these videos along with all of the other wonderfully titillating erotic art on BrittanyStJordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[youngblood61]

Love shower scenes Brit.

[Brittany St Jordan]

New photos posted on //brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com) - Long black gown with see through lace accents paired with strappy black and silver heels - Gown was a gift sent to me from my wishlist (http://amzn.com/w/2JBJLICDWHZDE) - Thank you Andy <3




https://40.media.tumblr.com/41f4c8f531be7f1cdd58b5601846a706/tumblr_nokag13YN11raj144o1_540.jpg

https://40.media.tumblr.com/791d4fed2cc823153687b5a16aaba5f1/tumblr_nokah4uIfP1raj144o1_540.jpg

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https://36.media.tumblr.com/d7c5c69972e6c04a149c856491d9fb82/tumblr_nokamoAnJ21tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://40.media.tumblr.com/83f3ef4f38eb68d3c0591ad8e3b3decd/tumblr_nokan4usVC1tc59a4o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[youngblood61]

Gorgeous!

[Brittany St Jordan]

Happy #tittytuesday from brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com)


https://36.media.tumblr.com/16e35b76f09e5a5ea53340a4c5d82618/tumblr_nom62r5aK61tc59a4o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[youngblood61]

Would love too get my lips around those nipples.:)

[Brittany St Jordan]

#ThrowbackThursday this week on brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com) is the little project I did with Amy Daly that’s definitely not a Dexter scene. Both parts, 1 and 2, along with a full set of photos are now once again online for your erotic viewing pleasure.

See all of the deviously delightful fun right fucking here (http://brittanystjordan.com)


https://36.media.tumblr.com/80b7fe349efd32b8f07ad4fc781f1245/tumblr_np1owgcKtj1raj144o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[Brittany St Jordan]

White cocktail dress with cutout accent paired with bright colored striped peeptoe heels - http://brittanystjordan.com - Both were gifts sent to me from my wishlist (http://amzn.com/w/2JBJLICDWHZDE)


https://36.media.tumblr.com/7f28761cadc9efc2cf7089ad50ae8426/tumblr_np98ornA6I1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://41.media.tumblr.com/fab8f41930faeeaacdeb9063d2eed619/tumblr_np9901Zu221tc59a4o1_540.jpg

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https://40.media.tumblr.com/40fba897902a6d091d4d66acb08e57b9/tumblr_np990tNlgL1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://36.media.tumblr.com/02d0524e4327383e6e0054ba424a1d67/tumblr_np991ar51z1tc59a4o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[Brittany St Jordan]

Classy black dress with curved white lines accented with lavender tights paired with fishnets and purple high heel pumps - brittanysjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com)


https://40.media.tumblr.com/a28fae39b76e2e36dc960e120a5142d1/tumblr_npm4kdTOyZ1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://41.media.tumblr.com/d38ba107dfddef24f3d59de9f3874e24/tumblr_npm4g369Vl1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://40.media.tumblr.com/ed1e27456a5d5cfe77601f384726e638/tumblr_npm4kuWwPz1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://40.media.tumblr.com/b0707ec7839f8d243900c7ab850c022f/tumblr_npm4m2cH0T1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://41.media.tumblr.com/5bb572fd38377d48c0ab52dfc824c37f/tumblr_npm4mi7cPc1tc59a4o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[theone1982]

Classy black dress with curved white lines accented with lavender tights paired with fishnets and purple high heel pumps - brittanysjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com)


https://40.media.tumblr.com/a28fae39b76e2e36dc960e120a5142d1/tumblr_npm4kdTOyZ1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://41.media.tumblr.com/d38ba107dfddef24f3d59de9f3874e24/tumblr_npm4g369Vl1raj144o1_540.jpg

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https://40.media.tumblr.com/b0707ec7839f8d243900c7ab850c022f/tumblr_npm4m2cH0T1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://41.media.tumblr.com/5bb572fd38377d48c0ab52dfc824c37f/tumblr_npm4mi7cPc1tc59a4o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

Wow! Super hot! Such a beauty:Bowdown::salad

[Brittany St Jordan]

Black dress with white stripes down the sides. Black pantyhose and a pop of color from blue heels. See the entire set at brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com)


https://40.media.tumblr.com/9f3750dfbd2ea0707fb357551292dd03/tumblr_nq00kbEL7M1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://41.media.tumblr.com/58748e4357376f42da916065346705c1/tumblr_nq00kuW1US1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

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https://40.media.tumblr.com/4bcd7d7992f3776300dc8ffb7b22587a/tumblr_nq00lv4vAy1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://40.media.tumblr.com/ceeb2fc600a1f36f5448cd87994c6d93/tumblr_nq00mjvy9L1tc59a4o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[TS Draftsman]

hey Brit! you're body is just perfect ♥

[youngblood61]

HOT as hell luv!

[Brittany St Jordan]

This week on BrittanyStJordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com) - White wrap dress with floral designs paired with super cute black and white high heel platform sandals - Both items were gifts sent to me from my wishlist (http://amzn.com/w/2JBJLICDWHZDE)


https://40.media.tumblr.com/4df93a7109a0bf1f0acc7c62ee51134f/tumblr_nqf0etOg9N1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

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https://40.media.tumblr.com/6febdf4007cfcb4c73b6795e54273b95/tumblr_nqf0h2XCx41tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://41.media.tumblr.com/d2e7dd500baddd0046403d9f52ffcdbe/tumblr_nqf0hmID481tc59a4o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

If you like these photos you will fucking love the entire set on BrittanyStJordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[Brittany St Jordan]

Two for Tuesday on brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com) this week. I've posted some new photos as well as resurrected a set from porn purgatory for your viewing pleasure. You can get full access to my site with $2.99 48 hour trial.


https://40.media.tumblr.com/2a9c956d4b527da313e65637165e07aa/tumblr_nqra8ebkxL1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://40.media.tumblr.com/c93c4363bc95c2567813764e018ca3a9/tumblr_nqra0oZTep1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://40.media.tumblr.com/4c41fe3fadf1f6a4aaac7b2b33ff5dbf/tumblr_nqra7wCoEf1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://40.media.tumblr.com/ec7dc0e50604150e0049c8a4b4bc23ea/tumblr_nqra07hEjp1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://40.media.tumblr.com/b46843a826ec53cfc11fb735ce10e258/tumblr_nqra75Wsqm1tc59a4o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[Steve-Oh]

Some tasty, fashionable selfies, Ms. J!

[Brittany St Jordan]

Some tasty, fashionable selfies, Ms. J!

Thank you ;) I've worked out a few details and the quality of the finished shots is now way better so be sure to stay tuned for coming updates :kiss:

[Brittany St Jordan]

Happy 4th of July from http://brittanystjordan.com!!!! To celebrate another year of ‘Merica I’m having a Fucking 4th of July Sale on my site ;)

Get a 4 day trial with full access to everything for $1 a day because, you know, 4 days to commemorate the 4th.

A full month subscription is now, you guessed it, $17.76 in honor of when we told those British bastards to fuck off

So head over to http://brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join) and take advantage of me this holiday weekend



https://41.media.tumblr.com/89ac01e8446bc236f71bc9b7b45f3845/tumblr_nqwny783a41raj144o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)

[twin25]

Hey Brittany,

Have you considered working with any local DMV talent for any HC type shoots for your website?

[Brittany St Jordan]

Hey Brittany,

Have you considered working with any local DMV talent for any HC type shoots for your website?

Have anyone in mind?

[youngblood61]

Hope you have a great 4th Brit.:)

[twin25]

Have anyone in mind?

I'd love to be a candidate if theres an e-mail address I can send pics/info to?

[Brittany St Jordan]

This week on http://brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com)

There is now a little incentive for getting a three month subscription. I will send you you either a used pair of my panties or stockings. The choice is yours when you join http://brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join) for 3 months.


https://36.media.tumblr.com/3d0d48658c661278eaef8e2bf6162403/tumblr_nr44kyozQc1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

https://36.media.tumblr.com/53af4c20b328363ff739691bf3a93fcd/tumblr_nr44mkIFgG1tc59a4o1_540.jpg

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https://41.media.tumblr.com/98a630b9b429f232dc4cf9147c1b99cd/tumblr_nr44nxWPEm1tc59a4o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[youngblood61]

Very, very, tempting Brit!

[twin25]

Have anyone in mind?

PM sent.

[Brittany St Jordan]

One of my sets on Frank's TGirl World. You can see all of the photos right here (http://join.franks-tgirlworld.com/gallery/MTAwNjk2LjIuOC44LjAuMjgwNS4wLjAuMA)


http://cdn-small.nl.storage.adultcentro.com/h1/8J87vjjWzQVpryyAV..-waiKW12aEtoX5ieqZKGHoAUfxDaOI6uo9.ErDLFRwJEc8Mg6.p IAY.7PR5vBVuq7lGO82E8x/55130.jpeg (http://join.franks-tgirlworld.com/gallery/MTAwNjk2LjIuOC44LjAuMjgwNS4wLjAuMA)

[youngblood61]

Nice set of pics Brit, really like the sexy lingerie you are wearing.:)

[Brittany St Jordan]

This week on BrittanyStJordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com) - Short pink dress with lace bodystocking and black suede ankle boots - All of these are gifts from my wishlist (http://amzn.com/w/2JBJLICDWHZDE). You can get a two day test ride for $2.99 with access to everything on my site. Cum and see what's inside waiting for you right this very minute.


https://41.media.tumblr.com/01855dcee354891a13d7c5b5964d80b3/tumblr_nrhfzqRVBO1raj144o1_540.jpg

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https://40.media.tumblr.com/feee8995d5b085c087bd91dede5604cf/tumblr_nrhg2x49xQ1raj144o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[Brittany St Jordan]

A hot summer night gets even hotter once my dress comes off and my little secret is revealed. See the entire scene play out on http://brittanystjordan.com - Get access to every hard cock inducing piece of content for only $2.99 <3



https://40.media.tumblr.com/57f372da601167892dcace59a69dc65f/tumblr_nrue6vpicn1raj144o1_540.jpg

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https://41.media.tumblr.com/193cd279ee8a975dd8b8c2cd66d617b6/tumblr_nrue8nzCaT1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://40.media.tumblr.com/3d44618c82bedf6388627eb3d0ecdf5c/tumblr_nruebdsuKg1raj144o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com)

[Brittany St Jordan]

This week on BrittanyStJordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join) - Classy blue dress with neon pink fishnets and shiny purple Mary Jane heels completing the outfit - fishnets and heels were graciously sent from my wishlist (http://amzn.com/w/2JBJLICDWHZDE). Afraid of commitment? You can take a two day test drive of my site for only $2.99 and get full access to everything!!!!!



https://40.media.tumblr.com/bcbdad7ba1e2142dd31d8346ac0cc94a/tumblr_nx0lbveqjC1raj144o1_540.jpg

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[youngblood61]

Good stuff Brit.

[XMAN_8]

Damn hotness!!!

[Brittany St Jordan]

Still a few days left to test ride my site (http://brittanystjordan.com/join) for a full week for only $3.99 or three months for only $12 a month.



https://40.media.tumblr.com/4791c6ab3de7e401ad49f444ac19ec6c/tumblr_o00dfbPDqK1raj144o1_540.jpg

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[Brittany St Jordan]

Two new videos on http://brittanystjordan.com :) For all of you cock hungry cum lovers out there, both of these videos are exactly what the fuck you're looking for. Grab yourself a two day pass for only $2.99 and get full access to every single fucking thing with no restrictions.

This week is also my birthday so be sure to send me some gifts from my wishlist (http://amzn.com/w/2JBJLICDWHZDE) that you'd like to see me wearing on my site ;)


Black Lace Dress
https://41.media.tumblr.com/72d121c23687b74ceb5a56df8f6eea9e/tumblr_o0vgtlNx8U1raj144o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com/scene/6333668/black-lace-dress)
A bit of booty wiggling and a whole lot of self-love combine to build a crescendo of sexual bliss that results in a powerful stream of cum shooting out of my hard fucking cock


Sensual Red Tights
https://41.media.tumblr.com/098fcafc485d1d796e714bf24ed00186/tumblr_o0wbe45Q2z1raj144o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com/scene/6333868/sensual-red-tights)
Teasing and rubbing myself through my tights as my cock gets so fucking hard that I have no other choice than to release a cascade of cum all over the fucking place

[Rude dog]

And your birthday is the week after mine?! I knew we were made for eachother! :praying:

[youngblood61]

Maybe i'll try your site this weekend Brit.

[Brittany St Jordan]

Happy birthday ;)

[Brittany St Jordan]

You'll enjoy it ;)

[Rude dog]

Happy birthday Brittany, hope you have a great day!

[Brittany St Jordan]

Come on over and check out eh latest update on http://brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)



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https://36.media.tumblr.com/ffce56e573ddadbe874c5e02fa3f9d2c/tumblr_o1gn8d9dDl1raj144o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)

[Brittany St Jordan]

Kinky Librarian now live on brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join) Only $2.99 for a two day test ride with full access to everything ;)


https://40.media.tumblr.com/bb1c09acfef6845b7b83f131b282b7a6/tumblr_o35s6xYful1raj144o1_540.jpg

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[youngblood61]

Love the look Brit! You look fantastic.:)

[Johnny Assplay]

Hey Brittany, who is your favorite male performer to work with?

[Brittany St Jordan]

Being the size queen that I am, Ramone and his massive cock was an amazing fucking day to be me.

[Brittany St Jordan]

Here's the latest set of hotness live on http://brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)


https://41.media.tumblr.com/56cea184b8887dc3decc30ca05561310/tumblr_o60fn3DujG1raj144o1_540.jpg

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https://41.media.tumblr.com/05448e32a3e55ece9c73cbc22c740339/tumblr_o60fsiMnET1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://40.media.tumblr.com/78dde42185b3725d178280149376fab4/tumblr_o60ftauwv71raj144o1_540.jpg

https://40.media.tumblr.com/6b73cdb83d79662472eda46878603ab2/tumblr_o60ftpKIBH1raj144o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)

[youngblood61]

Looking good Brit!

[Brittany St Jordan]

https://66.media.tumblr.com/583758f96f85efb79b63c0a2dac653c2/tumblr_o8vtsrmCzD1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://66.media.tumblr.com/955450d13621507f6852a4b1897d1873/tumblr_o8vtu6dq021raj144o1_540.jpg

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https://67.media.tumblr.com/5a338b42bebe2fa33e14df6054770ee7/tumblr_o8vtwwLDU31raj144o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)

[bigkid69]

So sexy!

[youngblood61]

HOT set of pics Brit.

[Brittany St Jordan]

Happy fucking 4th of July from brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)!!! Get 4 days for $4 or 4 months for $40 Come get it this holiday weekend only!!!!!!

[Brittany St Jordan]

New video now live on http://brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)


https://66.media.tumblr.com/f4093beae18fa84e0583acc33bb49f25/tumblr_o9k51nlmQ31raj144o1_540.png

https://66.media.tumblr.com/4e74e09608582aefa8539f868c091238/tumblr_o9k51nlmQ31raj144o2_540.png

https://66.media.tumblr.com/fd0aebee3ee0f73a2152a87d1d66b15b/tumblr_o9k51nlmQ31raj144o3_540.png (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)

[BlüeKarma]

Ooh, nice lingerie! :tongue:

[Females&Shemales]

I miss Brittany on film. She had some good scenes with GGs.

[youngblood61]

Nice, very nice.

[Brittany St Jordan]

Hot Pink Mini Dress on brittanystjordan.com
(http://brittanystjordan.com/join)

https://65.media.tumblr.com/55ef583b7c1f0702b7a31bcc81ac16e8/tumblr_oa7sez3mfH1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://67.media.tumblr.com/013bb6bf94cdb48613dd8903e5ab8675/tumblr_oa7v6buXgO1raj144o1_400.gif

https://67.media.tumblr.com/c6ceae60af419bdd999ee73d61ed61a3/tumblr_oa7shwH8Rg1raj144o1_540.jpg
(http://brittanystjordan.com/join)

[Brittany St Jordan]

three photos taken with my new Canon 80D. These photos are the first pieces of the new era of BSJ Photo. I shot all of the photos on my own. Be sure to follow my blog https://bsjphoto.tumblr.com/



https://67.media.tumblr.com/757b075ac0628b46fde030c4bf219a41/tumblr_oaavhmFFUF1rajq4zo1_540.jpg

https://67.media.tumblr.com/4fc66971e0d03f65b33ff5fad6209435/tumblr_oaavhxYtWk1rajq4zo1_540.jpg

https://67.media.tumblr.com/fe8c786500162a73982a03efffd08f9c/tumblr_oaavi9YbNv1rajq4zo1_540.jpg (https://bsjphoto.tumblr.com/)

[sailorsongs]

mmmmm so beautiful!

[Brittany St Jordan]

Farmer's Lil Angel photoset available on brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)


https://67.media.tumblr.com/f34344030a4aee3250e513c88e1ce689/tumblr_obdsiicaGA1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://66.media.tumblr.com/a630deda71e8524836524d4d90ef182b/tumblr_obdsj4MyPo1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://67.media.tumblr.com/651738a8d988591c7f545efeda92b6bd/tumblr_obdsjiiW7X1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://66.media.tumblr.com/5c6e35f695da13978fb82ba7011b9051/tumblr_obdskf5DK31raj144o1_400.gif

[Brittany St Jordan]

I find out my coworker is secretly watching me so I give him a show he’s sure to remember for a very long time - See the full video on brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)


https://66.media.tumblr.com/cb791ac0643fa80b7e9ee598e25f133c/tumblr_obemluLYiq1raj144o1_540.png

https://66.media.tumblr.com/04d759410b0fdd802da0e6712a962238/tumblr_obemm7nsdi1raj144o1_540.png

https://67.media.tumblr.com/c270ee76bb91160019b5057b176eb2a5/tumblr_obemml2IlT1raj144o1_540.png (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)

[kevvkfan]

Brittany is an awesome bottom

[youngblood61]

Brittany is an awesome bottomYes she is!

[Brittany St Jordan]

Classy White Corset - See the complete set on http://brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)


https://66.media.tumblr.com/1d4c3b4540c0c11e2257974687be6795/tumblr_oclbzcz4xt1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://66.media.tumblr.com/59852f749c6232d3505d12bdbbba0f68/tumblr_oclc00UDgT1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://66.media.tumblr.com/5dfe0a58e578a91b7c65ae20543a7220/tumblr_oclc2zwFQY1raj144o1_400.gif

https://66.media.tumblr.com/39a4fd10d1e0ffcbbb0facf884a5e91e/tumblr_oclc0orIHJ1raj144o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)

[Ben in LA]

Still loving that purple hair...among other things...

[youngblood61]

Always hot Britt!

[Brittany St Jordan]

Happy Fucking New Year (http://brittanystjordan.com/scene/6606744/happy-new-year-2017)

Here's a little something to get this year going in the right direction. Because I Love You on brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)


https://68.media.tumblr.com/156984f83d0928a4caf341062b6d96fe/tumblr_oj4f36XiUP1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://68.media.tumblr.com/61352e94b5ad465eb0be85ccbf534413/tumblr_oj4f3qxwdY1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://68.media.tumblr.com/f84e689c7caa39641913445990eb65a1/tumblr_oj4f52U0zM1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://68.media.tumblr.com/2eaf266eeaa64c9d9d6f5eb543c0d2e4/tumblr_oj4f6j4ZeJ1raj144o1_400.gif (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)

[nysprod]

Happy Fucking New Year

Hot pics, HFNY to you too...quick question:

I was using tumblr but they're blocking adult images in the USA...none of the pics I posted from tumblr are visible on USA sites, so how did you post yours without them blocking you?

[Brittany St Jordan]

Hot pics, HFNY to you too...quick question:

I was using tumblr but they're blocking adult images in the USA...none of the pics I posted from tumblr are visible on USA sites, so how did you post yours without them blocking you?

I have my XXX blog marked as NSFW so it drops out of public searches but people can still go to it to check out what I post.

[XMAN_8]

Happy Fucking New Year (http://brittanystjordan.com/scene/6606744/happy-new-year-2017)

Here's a little something to get this year going in the right direction. Because I Love You on brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)


https://68.media.tumblr.com/156984f83d0928a4caf341062b6d96fe/tumblr_oj4f36XiUP1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://68.media.tumblr.com/61352e94b5ad465eb0be85ccbf534413/tumblr_oj4f3qxwdY1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://68.media.tumblr.com/f84e689c7caa39641913445990eb65a1/tumblr_oj4f52U0zM1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://68.media.tumblr.com/2eaf266eeaa64c9d9d6f5eb543c0d2e4/tumblr_oj4f6j4ZeJ1raj144o1_400.gif (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)

This is HOTNESS!

[nysprod]

I have my XXX blog marked as NSFW so it drops out of public searches but people can still go to it to check out what I post.

Ok thanks, I'll try that

[nysprod]

Posting imgur img

Oh wow Brittany got my imgur working again thanks!

Now i removed it cuz don't wanna spam your thread lol

[Brittany St Jordan]

Posting imgur img

Oh wow Brittany got my imgur working again thanks!

Now i removed it cuz don't wanna spam your thread lol

You're welcome ;) #TrannyTechSupport

[Brittany St Jordan]

New video on brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join) - Transformation - Watch as I go from blah to beautiful while I prepare myself for shooting photos



https://68.media.tumblr.com/f54e9dbb77df02daa6667af10ca94fda/tumblr_ojf3liePcV1raj144o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)

[smoothboi]

I wouldn't call you "blah" in that pic though.

[Brittany St Jordan]

I wouldn't call you "blah" in that pic though.

thank you ;)

[youngblood61]

Nice cumshot Brit!

[Brittany St Jordan]

Nice cumshot Brit!

The benefits of no longer taking hormones ;)

[uni66]

I wouldn't call you "blah" in that pic though.

:iagree:

[Fitzcarraldo]

Happy birthday!:D

[Brittany St Jordan]

It's my birthday and I have a gift you to celebrate the occasion. Along with this update of delectable images I also wrote a short story.
Come to brittanystjordan.com to learn the tale of Sindebella <3 (http://brittanystjordan.com/post/69986/sindebella)


https://68.media.tumblr.com/b05268bbd09566ca3bb8df5e8bb49dad/tumblr_ojvkdhoNW21raj144o1_540.jpg

https://68.media.tumblr.com/91343ad1e22f7dd3a7e47809bcba1491/tumblr_ojvkfdPPFg1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://68.media.tumblr.com/c2d24a958f3a7b57a6dc3fb3850187bf/tumblr_ojvkrlgDuT1raj144o1_400.gif

https://68.media.tumblr.com/79562dc8bb49cb37d9250e9e21e10f1f/tumblr_ojvkjjxLLf1raj144o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)

[Hayabusa]

Very sexy,thanks

[youngblood61]

Damn girl you are erupting!

[schealseakendra]

wow i love you
regards from mexico989826

[Brittany St Jordan]

This week on brittanystjordan.com (http://brittanystjordan.com/join) - When I Think Of Us


https://68.media.tumblr.com/3defc3a54a4c57897a75fca1c5d39c14/tumblr_ok93wzL0y41raj144o1_540.jpg

https://68.media.tumblr.com/719eeb32419ac61894761d9af608e48a/tumblr_ok93xw6BUr1raj144o1_540.jpg

https://68.media.tumblr.com/6f82aac132728d9d02edd8961f9b88c9/tumblr_ok949nYpBs1raj144o1_400.gif

https://68.media.tumblr.com/5c97d58320f766d5772bebe348d313ec/tumblr_ok93yyO6qQ1raj144o1_540.jpg (http://brittanystjordan.com/join)

[youngblood61]

Awesome Brit!

[makoshark]

I love yoy Brittany!

[brooksglass]

How have you been? We are sending our love x