I got loaded with a hooker last night (true story)

[hondarobot]

Soooo, I go out drinking yesterday with my buddy Weebo around 3pm. We hung out on the patio at the Monte Carlo with a mutual friend who is currently making a small fortune on ebay. We drank and told stories and had a great time, but after six beers it was time to move on.

We made our way to the Hilton hotel, Weebo is seeing a girl at the moment who's a waitress there. She hooked us up with food, whiskey and beer and we had fun, talking too loud and irritating the people in the bar. We left eventually, and this is where memory fails me for a brief time.

I ended up back in my apartment with a hooker. Not an escort or anything fancy, just a reasonably attractive, early 20's, kinda nervous street hooker. I don't pick up hookers at all, actually, so this was somewhat odd, but what the hell? I don't remember meeting her either, but these things happen. I got us both some drinks and we sat and talked on my couch, then there was a knock on my door.

This goofy guy with glasses walked in and did just what a person would expect him to do, and I laughed at him. He was getting tough, talking shit, and I told him "Shut the fuck up! You're not talking to Joe Lunchbox here. I know this fuckin game and you've been on at least three security cameras just coming up here. I'm going to hang out with your girl, have some drinks, and you're going to walk the fuck away or I'm going to stick a fucking sword in your eye and the cops will call it self defense."

I showed him the sword that I intended to use if things got ugly.

He didn't have anything to say in response, and he left. So I hung out with the girl, although right now I have no idea what we talked about. At the moment half of my bottle of whiskey is gone, and there is an empty can of Miller Genuine Draft next to my sink (she must of had it in her pocket), so I imagine we blabbed for quite awhile. I asked her what her rate was at some point, and she said $30 for a blowjob. I gave her $40, kissed her on the forehead, and told her to stay away from that dipshit pimp, and that I thought she was a very sweet girl. And no, there was no sex (although I did play with her tits for awhile, she had nice tits).

And then she left.

Somewhat strange evening.

I don't know why I'm posting this. It's a true story, and it happened last night. Just one of those things.

The moral: Guys, always be nice to girls, even if they drink Miller Genuine Draft. Cute girls are good people. And if a pimp tries to shake you down, it's good to have a weapon nearby (although, in my case, it's not even a real sword, but work with what you have).

:)

[popperluv]

If you keep that up you will find yourself dead in an alley one day.
Black outs are very dangerous you should get some help .
Who knows next time it may not be some geek in glasses knocking at your door!

[smoothy]

Honda, what crock of shit yarn was that? I've got a very dear friend who you remind me of. Lovely chap but tells a whole load of crap every single day, just to impress people. It's got to the point that whenever I'm chatting with him I'm not actually listening, just thinking about going on holiday, going to the grocery store......

yawn

[chefmike]

OOOPS... I was looking for the "I got fucked by a crack whore" thread...I guess it was because that guy is from Minneapolis too... :wink:

[chefmike]

8)

[chefmike]

OOOPS... I was looking for the "I got fucked by a crack whore" thread...

Yeah, me too...

[hondarobot]

Honda, what crock of shit yarn was that? I've got a very dear friend who you remind me of. Lovely chap but tells a whole load of crap every single day, just to impress people. It's got to the point that whenever I'm chatting with him I'm not actually listening, just thinking about going on holiday, going to the grocery store......

yawn

Huh? It's actually a 100% true story. Since these little chapters of my life irritate you so much, he's what happened yesterday (and I admittedly have a pretty odd life, but as I said it's all true):

So I go and eat breakfast, and am walking home when I hear a girl yell my name. It's the hooker. She says she left her cigarettes at my place and wanted to get them. Great.

We walk back to my apartment and she doesn't seem to be too keen on leaving, so I be a nice guy and offer her a drink. We talk about this and that, she want's to buy some crack. I tell her I'll give her $40, but she has to promise to try and kick the habit after that. She agrees and starts calling up dealers. She runs outside, scores when one of her connections gets in the neighborhood, and comes back up.

So I spent most of yesterday with a hooker, drinking whiskey, while she told me about her life and smoked crack on my couch. Once again, no sex, no desire for any, but she left and said she was going into treatment (hey, maybe she will) and was going to turn her life around.

I read this stuff myself and think "what the hell! That shit is complete crap!" but it's honestly all true. I live a strange life, and from now on (although she was a nice enough girl and we had some decent conversation) I will be avoiding certain parts of my neighborhood.

And holy hell, am I hung over right now. Drinking with a street hooker is a little bit of a challenge. . .

[popperluv]

I hope you got a good sercurity system at you house.
She'll be back

[hondarobot]

I hope you got a good sercurity system at you house.
She'll be back

Excellent security system, and I made a point to tell her about it. If she straightens things out in her life, I think I've done a pretty good deed.

But no, she won't be coming back into my apartment. I'm a nice guy, but I'm not an idiot.

:)

[GroobySteven]

I'm a nice guy, but I'm not an idiot.


:roll:

[Harrys Boy]

I'm starting to think these stories are here just to get 1000 posts up.

[chefmike]

We walk back to my apartment and she doesn't seem to be too keen on leaving, so I be a nice guy and offer her a drink. We talk about this and that, she want's to buy some crack. I tell her I'll give her $40, but she has to promise to try and kick the habit after that. She agrees and starts calling up dealers. She runs outside, scores when one of her connections gets in the neighborhood, and comes back up.

So I spent most of yesterday with a hooker, drinking whiskey, while she told me about her life and smoked crack on my couch. Once again, no sex, no desire for any, but she left and said she was going into treatment (hey, maybe she will) and was going to turn her life around.

Excellent security system, and I made a point to tell her about it. If she straightens things out in her life, I think I've done a pretty good deed.

But no, she won't be coming back into my apartment. I'm a nice guy, but I'm not an idiot.





ROTFLMFAO....no doubt...you're a regular Dr. Phillatio...giving a CD crack whore money, and making her promise never to do it again, is a groundbreaking and brilliant idea....

Hell, you better quit that job at the Glory Hole ASAP and enroll at IMADUMBFUCK U right away...you're definitely no idiot :roll:

[chefmike]

And wetardowobot....I almost forgot to ask...did you make sure that she ( the CD crack whore in question) was wearing a condom before she(the CD crack whore in question) showed you what the Brokeback Mountain boys were talking about when they referred to the good old days "when men were men, and sheep were nervous..."

I'm just saying...sugarbritches... :roll: 8)

[hondarobot]

its even more irritating to hear people in real life tell these type of horseshit stories...

Hehe, why do you think it's a "horseshit story"? It did happen, although I have no visual evidence to back it up. Believe it or not.

I'll never have any further contact with that girl, but she seemed like a nice person, and I tried to help her out. Beyond the fact that she intended to have her pimp rob me initially. What ya gonna do?

It's always surprising to me when people here post no personal stories, no personal information, and the talk shit towards us who do.

Those people are ghosts, they hide in the net and are just trolls and weirdos. Anonymous losers.

I'll keep posting my stories because I think they make for good reading. Don't read the damn things if you don't want to, and don't try to innitiate flame wars just to get attention.

[hondarobot]

Whoops, double post. Corrected.

[chefmike]

I don't feel the need to air my laundry online...I'm not a troll, nor do I incite flame wars...I tell it like I see it...I'm also not a weirdo...you post a story like this, and you label someone else as weird?

if you can afford to just give a random crack whore 40 bucks in the hopes she will kick her habit, then I wish I was balling like you, Ward Cleaver...

I'm sure there are people out there who truly lead wild lives...but I doubt they are coming to a Transexual message board to tell us about how they pulled a sword on a crackhead shemale's pimp...

And he left out the part about his now legendary sword swallowing skills, he was so busy telling fairy tales (pardon the expression, wetardo) about his sword fighting skills...


And wetardowobot aka Joe Lunchbox...

[chefmike]

:lol:

[chefmike]

ATTENTION JOE LUNCHBOX!!

It appears as though the repugs are planning to use the gay marriage issue as a diversion in the mid-term elections...


It's time for Joe Lunchbox to come flaming out of his closet in his oh-so-sexy-pink tights...

Heed the call...Joe/Josey Lunchbox...your nation needs you now more than ever...

For God's sake...do something...or if all else fails...get on your knees, Joe Lunchbox...it's worked for you so far....

[hondarobot]

you are so weak. . . It was funny for awhile.

Actually it's still funny.

Don't worry, though, you're an internet celebrity!

Or a proven pedophile.

Looooser

[chefmike]

..........:roll:


....................:lol:


............................. 8)

[chefmike]

I don't feel the need to air my laundry online...I'm not a troll, nor do I incite flame wars...I tell it like I see it...I'm also not a weirdo...you post a story like this, and you label someone else as weird?

if you can afford to just give a random crack whore 40 bucks in the hopes she will kick her habit, then I wish I was balling like you, Ward Cleaver...

I'm sure there are people out there who truly lead wild lives...but I doubt they are coming to a Transexual message board to tell us about how they pulled a sword on a crackhead shemale's pimp...

:lol: 8)

[chefmike]

:lol:

[hondarobot]

J, you and Chef Mike spend way too much time either trying to bully forum newbies when you think you can get away with it, or kissing ass when you think it will gain you attention.

Your latest attacks on me are completely insane and unprovoked.

Of course, you may have bonded with Chef Mike to such a degree that I have inflamed some sort of unholy passion in you both. . .

Please continue reading all my future posts.

/ignore

[Toro]

This is one of the stupidest stories I've ever read in my life. A freaking samurai sword? Before you would have taken his eye out, would you have asked him to wait while you go get your ninja outfit?

[hondarobot]

Haha. Drugs and alcohol, I use to make a lifestyle out of it. Had the time of my life for years, but I've moved on. Suicide? Are you kidding me? My life is always fun.

And to the other guy, no, I don't own a ninja suit. Of course, now I want one.

[chefmike]

Ninja suit?

Maybe a mutant ninja turtle suit would be a better fit for 'tard boy...

[hondarobot]

mmm i guess u were being rowdy, behaving like a degenerate prick with blatant disregard to other people trying to have a nice time and asked to leave simply because ur a dick

I don't even know what you're talking about at this point.

I use to be a total prick, I'm not anymore. Get off my back, already.

[Quinn]

LMAO....... I guy goes away for a month or so on vacation and misses all of the good stuff, like this thread's resurrection. Sorry, Honda, but this is some damn funny shit.

-Quinn

P.S. Where in the hell are all of the long-time posters? Oh, well. I'll try again in another month when I'm back in country again.

[hondarobot]

Hey Quinn, our disfunctional online family continues to soldier on.

8)

See ya later.

[CORVETTEDUDE]

Honda......You are soooooo full of shit!!!! Why don't you write your biography....it could quite possibly be the best selling FICTION book on the market! :crap

[hondarobot]

That's what's somewhat sad, it's not fiction. My life is far more odd and interesting and cool then most people can imagine.

Honestly I'm a pretty damn decent guy. Ask anyone who met me. Ask Vicki Richter.

8)

[chefmike]

Actually he's a pretty damn creepy guy.

Or maybe he's just mentally ill. This alternate reality that he has created for himself and is constantly babbling about often sounds like full-blown schizophrenia.

[chefmike]

blah blah, yeah we made a pact to bully around poor innocent shmucks like u.... and of course ill continue reading, why not? i read when im bored or need passion...

its simple, this site consists of the following:

the mods; from what i know all relatively well adjusted dealing with reality

the non member peekers; probably married, sexually confused, most likely republicans

the older, been there done that crowd; contribute interesting stuff every so often, write pretty well, respect the witty and insightful ones here, sometimes play peacemaker and tryin to squeeze as much as possible from memories, discourse and who knows what other surprises life offers

the filthy cumcatchers: the ones who beg for cock, who have no shame in describing their method of masterbation without request, who skip through any meaningful conversation and are here just to feel like they arent as pathetic as their inner self says cause wombat discussed his anal warts, posted pics of it and is even more low than they are

the witty bunch: not always a hit with their posts, but u can count on a few general quips and humrous observations in an above average rate

the trouble makers: playin the conservative card, playing the top vs bottom card, playin the racist card, playin the jesus is lord and came from outerspace card, etc.

the girls: some stars, some in their mind, some out of their mind, all valuable here, and thankfully many with good insight, despite agendas, into fields other than the ts community

the clueless ones: the know they like it, they dont know why, theyre way too concerned with figuring out why, probably from the south, probably love the lord, and probably not too successful in life

YOU: the guy who everyone is glad is around, because someone has to be the biggest loser, and its a good thing to spot the obvious winner right away and remove self doubt...the guy who youde think twice before shaking his bare hand...the guy who ur not shocked with anything he says or does since u put as little value on his life as he does...the one youde never let a family member or friend take a ride with...and the guy who knows all this but is putting up a pretend fight because dealing with reality would probably involve lots of drugs, alcohol and a noose...we all know its only time before ur 3 for 3

priceless...

and so true...

So you had an alcoholic blackout and ended up fucking some hooker?

Sounds cool so far.

She was there when you woke up? That's where things went bad!

[suckseed]

It's really hard to believe a girl could pass on ol' Honda.

[chefmike]

Actually, the below version of the night's events is a much more likely scenario, especially when one considers hondatoadbot's formidable rep... :lol: :P


http://www.hungangels.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=9129&start=0

[chefmike]

:P :arrow:

[hondarobot]

And he bumps a post four months old. . . further proof of his mental stability.

Anyone who bothers to read it though, it was a 100% true story.

[TomSelis]

It's still funny though....:lol:

[TJ347]

It's still funny though....:lol:

It is definitely a funny story, but what isn't funny is the reason it was bumped.

[hondarobot]

It's still funny though....:lol:

You should have been there when it happened. It was hysterical, in hindsight.

[chefmike]

It was hysterical, in hindsight.

We would have to ask the crack whore who buggered you about the whole hindsight thing though, wouldn't we?

[hondarobot]

I think that's enough for tonight. Your lesson is:

If you want to be an internet tough guy, you should avoid demonstrating at every opportunity that you're a crazy fuckin forum addicted troll.

It's pretty simple, "dog".

"I have a job. . ."

:lol:

[TJT]

Does your boy Weebo wobble or does he fall down?

[chefmike]

Does your boy Weebo wobble or does he fall down?

He apparently lays down with his ass in the air, eh?

Not that there's anything wrong with that, he has been very candid about the fact that he works as a jizzmopper at a glory-hole hangout....

And BTW, there's a clean up in stall 3, wetardo...