Bummer Man

[tsmirandameadows]

So I went on a very romantic, exciting, and genuinely magical date on Tuesday night. Turns out the man in question was already attached and had no intention of seeing me a second time. I guess I'm just far too trusting, and that this is a reminder that when you're a transsexual sex worker, it IS too good to be true when it feels like a guy genuinely wants you as a partner. Not entirely sure why I thought otherwise... :(

[EvaCassini]

Not as in relationship wise thing, but as for "potential sugar daddies" and such, I've def been there, and it hurts. Sry bout what happened hun. HUG! :)

[tsmirandameadows]

I'm kinda tempted to send him a bill for an overnight appointment care of the law firm at which he is employed.

[EvaCassini]

lol nice!

[tsmirandameadows]

I mean it's not like I'm trying to engage in blackmail but instead he made use of a service and didn't pay for it, and if that's the case then I kinda feel like I should write up an invoice and mail it out.

[nysprod]

Miranda, be very careful here...yes, you got f'd over, it's unpleasant and unfortunate...but the best advice is to leave things alone and just chalk it up to life experience.

[tsmirandameadows]

Miranda, be very careful here...yes, you got f'd over, it's unpleasant and unfortunate...but the best advice is to leave things alone and just chalk it up to life experience.

No, I gotcha. I'm mostly just expressing my frustration. Still if you're going to get played, you would hope that the guy would be savvy enough not to leave a paper trail, because then you could say to yourself "I just got plain outsmarted" rather than "I was dumb enough to trust someone who evidently can't be discreet."

[tsmirandameadows]

I guess I took the utter lack of discretion on his part as being indicative of his genuineness. If a man is going to entrust me with all this verifiably identifying information about him, I assumed that would mean I could trust him. Grr, whatever. Now I know that I just shouldn't plan on romance for as long as I'm doing this, just guys who will lie to get out of paying you.

[nysprod]

So, the guy was a client who took you out on a date? What did you do?

[RallyCola]

there is so much wrong with your attitude miranda.

[tsmirandameadows]

So, the guy was a client who took you out on a date? What did you do?

No. He was a man who approached me, expressed (supposedly) genuine interest in me, and was hoping to have an ongoing, serious relationship. He was kind, articulated himself very well, and presented himself as quality relationship material. As we were feeling each other out, I asked him up front what exactly he was looking for, saying that if was just looking for a casual, FWB relationship, I was fine with that but that he knew what my rates were, but otherwise I was willing to see him just as a normal guy asking me out. No obligations for the latter, of course -- we could after all completely fail to click in person -- but the expectation was that he making a serious attempt to engage in serious courtship with me. Evidently that was all bullshit, he just wanted a one-off, illicit thrill but didn't want to have to pay a provider. So he played me, and I fell for it because he offered up so much information about himself that I figured he had to be real.

[tsmirandameadows]

Here's the actual exchange:


Hi Miranda,

I sent you a PM on HA, but wasn't sure which was the best way to reach you. I've been admiring your blog and postings, and have to admit I'm quite smitten. I am dying to see you. Not only are absolutely, stunningly gorgeous, but you're clearly a highly intelligent, thoughtful, and witty young woman.

I've actually never proposed something so brazen before, but I would love to treat you to a date some time. Would you be interested? If so, please give me a call or text at xxx-xxx-xxxx, or shoot me an e-mail.

About myself: I'm a 29 year old attorney living in Marina Del Rey (you are worth the flight to the Bay Area!). I'm 6 foot 2, with a slight build and sandy-blond hair. I love reading, the theatre, films of all sorts, classic gaming, and Japanese culture. I also have three pet chinchillas: Titus (my first), Crayon (his mate), and Baby (their scion). Titus, in particular, is an immensely clever fellow.

I've also attached two photographs (that's me as Count Chocula). Please let me know if you need anything additional.

I really hope we can make this work. It'll be something very special. Thanks so much!

All the Best,

To which I replied:


I read your email earlier and was thinking about it throughout my run this evening. I am very flattered at the apparent sincerity of your interest and must say that I am quite interested. You're cute, and we appear to share some common interests, but more importantly you express yourself well, and that is easily my single biggest turn-on with men whom I date seriously. Is that what you're looking for? Something more serious? Usually a willingness to make a seven hour drive or catch a plane implies such a thing, but I'd like to know for certain what exactly you're looking for.

Likewise, I need to ask if you are comfortable seeing someone who is a part-time escort. I'm not asking because I expect to see you as a client -- unless all you are looking for is an extremely casual FWB type thing -- but because I had written off being able to date while engaged in such work, and thus am a bit surprised at being approached for, well, an actual date.
Are you okay with seeing someone who does that kind of work? Do you understand that right now that's something I can't give up because it is how I will finance my transition, and that as much as I long for what a relationship could bring, transition is my number one priority right now? I ask this not because I'm trying to drive you away. In fact, it's the opposite: I'm interested, I can see real potential, but I just don't want to get my hopes up prematurely.

I'm a bit concerned about the logistics of seeing each other given the geographic distance between us, but I suppose we can figure that out later.

And his response, all of which is now clearly utter bullshit:


Thank you for your tender, thoughtful reply. It synthesizes all the qualities that attracted me to you in the first place: honesty, forthrightness, and a genuine sweetness. I must say that I am very humbled that you find me attractive too.

I know this is all so sudden, and I'll admit this wasn't planned-out very well on my part. I felt a strong physical attraction to you the moment I saw your photographs, and that only deepened once I read your various postings and tweets. At a certain point, I just stopped and knew I had to see you. I want to take you out on a date and show you a good time, and hopefully get to know you better. Let me know some of your favorite places in SF. I can tell the past few months have been very stressful, and I really want to treat you to something that will lift your spirits. At this stage, we can play it by ear and see how it goes, but I know I would want to see you on a more regular basis if we click. I know it sounds crazy to travel all that way to see someone I've never met, but you a truly unique woman. I've never been struck by anyone in such a way that I actually feel compelled to travel a great distance to meet them, but I'm certainly feeling it right now.

I have absolutely no issue with you being an escort, and I knew about it ahead of time through your postings on HA. I completely understand that society has placed so many transpersons in this situation. I wish that the world wasn't such a place that a girl as obviously well-educated and personable as you has to look to escorting as the best means to fund your transition. I make no judgments, though, and fully support your decision. You seem positive about the whole situation, based on your postings, and you genuinely seem to love sex. I am probably the least possessive-type of man there is, and am certainly in no position to lecture. You're your own woman. I know how expensive treatments with Dr. O'Dea can be . . . $650 to $800 every three months is a lot of money on top of living expenses, and I am sure you are saving up for some cosmetic procedures as well. If there's anything I can do to help you in this regard, please let me know.

If my message to you brightened your day in any way, I'm glad. I must admit some of your blog posts and tweets have saddened me terribly. I hate to see such a beautiful girl troubled by such tremendous stress and bouts of depression. I hope you're in a better place after your move. You're amazing, and I hope you realize that. The future needs more people like you.

[tsmirandameadows]

there is so much wrong with your attitude miranda.

Yeah, I'm the asshole for being miffed that a guy misrepresented himself so as to use my services as an escort without paying for them.

Granted I was naive to believe him, but naivety on my part hardly excuses him from culpability.

[nysprod]

You lost me...where did he say he wanted to use your escort services?

[tsmirandameadows]

You lost me...where did he say he wanted to use your escort services?

He didn't. That's the point. This is what he said to me this evening:


I am not the man I made myself out to be. I have been in a relationship with a wonderful woman for over three years, and began contacting you without her knowing. The words I wrote were said out of lust and a sense of illicit thrill. From the start, it was never my intention to see you again.

In short he wanted a once-off fuck born of "lust and a sense of illicit thrill", i.e. what I told him would require a provider-client relationship if that's all he was seeking. He deceitfully told me that he was seriously interested in seeing me, and thus I agreed to see him under such terms. Had I known he had no intention to ever see me again and just wanted the thrill of infidelity and satisfied lust, I still would have seen him, but he would have had to pay for it like any other client I see.

[nysprod]

Ok, so did you go on an actual date like with dinner that ended up as a romp, or was it just a hook-up someplace?

[tsmirandameadows]

Ok, so did you go on an actual date like with dinner that ended up as a romp, or was it just a hook-up someplace?

Actual date. Spent the day and night and following morning with him. To me it felt like what he presented it as: an actual date with a man who was genuinely interested in me and who wanted to give me a happy and memorable time. Our dinner together was lovely and the walk back down Nob Hill to his hotel was utterly magical: the night was clear and beautiful, I was on the arm of (I thought) a gentleman, we had a perfect view of the light sculpture on the Bay Bridge, glittering in the distance, and the pleasant and meaningful conversation of dinner continued as we walked. As far as I was concerned I had finally arrived as a young woman, actually living what I had always dreamed of. Turns out he just didn't want to pay a fee.

[nysprod]

Ok, so as I said, chalk it up to experience. FYI, perhaps you've arrived as a woman more than you even realize, because this kind of thing happens to girls all the time and they're left feeling exactly the same as you do now.

[Prospero]

The guy was a creep. I am sorry to hear this has happened to you - having read your posts here and seen your pictures. I admire you for your intelligence. And beauty. And openness. But I suspect a lot of guys would play you this way. It's a lesson learned, sadly.

I am involved myself in a developing friendship with a girl who is escorting. But it is a friendship. I've made it clear that if and when we have sex again I will pay unless we have genuinely moved into something more. (She has offered free sessions) I have said no - because that then makes me someone just out to do what this guy did to you. Score a strings free encounter. It was very dishonest unless you both agree upfront to this and that final message from him was just horrible.
I feel sorry to hear you went through this. Anger is the best response - but then let it go. I just hope you actually enjoyed the date. As NYSprod says this sort of thing does happen to a lot of girls - and some guys i think - in the world of dating.

[tsmirandameadows]

The guy was a creep. I am sorry to hear this has happened to you - having read your posts here and seen your pictures. I admire you for your intelligence. And beauty. And openness. But I suspect a lot of guys would play you this way. It's a lesson learned, sadly.

I am involved myself in a developing friendship with a girl who is escorting. But it is a friendship. I've made it clear that if and when we have sex again I will pay unless we have genuinely moved into something more. (She has offered free sessions) I have said no - because that then makes me someone just out to do what this guy did to you. Score a strings free encounter. It was very dishonest unless you both agree upfront to this and that final message from him was just horrible.
I feel sorry to hear you went through this. Anger is the best response - but then let it go. I just hope you actually enjoyed the date. As NYSprod says this sort of thing does happen to a lot of girls - and some guys i think - in the world of dating.

I did very much enjoy the date. Honestly, it WAS the most special and significant dinner out of my life. Then this happened and I don't know what the hell to think. I just don't see how he could have been so sweet and supportive and kind to me while we were together yet have nothing more in his heart than to get a free fuck; it seems borderline sociopathic.

I mean during our dinner conversation I talked a bit about my experience working at a group home for foster youth, and when he queued genuine interest, I opened up completely about it, and given how raw the emotion of that experience remains for me, I at one point began to break down in tears as I described how the narrative of these kids lives is "no one cares about me" and how hard it was to break through that narrative with your own sincere caring. When I began tearing up, and when my voice began breaking, he was so sweet to me, taking my hand and saying I forget what but something that acknowledged both the tragedy of these kids' lives and the effort I and my colleagues put forth trying to help them. As I think about this, it just leaves me aghast that someone could be so disingenuous at what seemed like such a tender moment, and likewise that I could so completely miss how this guy was playing me.

I don't know... while the initial email left me surprised and disappointed, the more I reflect on this now, the more hurt I feel. This really sucks.

[bluesoul]

do you know if this guy has done this before to others? in his exchange with you earlier, he said he contacted you first with a pm on HA which means he has an account- but he was quick to say he's never contacted anyone else before. maybe he was lying then? have you asked others who live in the bayarea whether they know this guy?

does he have a history here of being deceptive? when you were toying with the idea of sending "him a bill for an overnight appointment care of the law firm at which he is employed" you could have just named him, and he could've been questioned why he choose to be deceptive (especially since later he gave a full confession) rather than just making his full motives clear.

i'm also curious who the culprit is. i know it ain't me :)

[tsmirandameadows]

His account here (Hieronymous) doesn't have any posts. The hilarious thing is that he was so careless with personal information that right now I can give you his full name, work cell number, city of residence and employer name and address, and I'm sure some googling could find anything else of pertinence. Not that I intend to blackmail him or even send him an invoice, but I kinda thought that him trusting me with this info was a sign that I could trust him. Guess not.

[bluesoul]

personally, i wouldn't advice (or ask) for his personal information. i still believe in a persons right to privacy if they so wish- unless they do something unlawful. my only reason of asking was to see whether he has/had a history of manipulating others- or can be stopped from doing so in the future.

btw: i know how awesome the san francisco night can be. i once took a girl on a walk down on the embarcadero towards the... (where they have cupid's bow) and we looked right behind us- towards the water the moon was right there. like "hello!"

[simonisthebest]

when a man is in love with a tranny he always act like a jerk,cause he's ashamed of the feeling he had,

must be hard for him emotionally,cause its obvious he likes u alot, i dont think he did you wrong on purpose

[Prospero]

Love simon? This guy was in lust - and IMHO abusive.

[Odelay]

Miranda, that guy is heading for a fall. If he is an attorney and travels to SF on a whim, then he can afford provider rates. Instead, he angers you and imperils his career, current relationship, and god knows what else. This is very risky behavior. If you take the high road here, you might take solace in the notion that his risky behavior will come back and haunt him someday. Karma's a bitch.

By the way, you know he's reading this right now. I'd bet any amount of money that you'll be getting another PM from him soon, and he'll be sweating bullets behind whatever sweet or nice words that he has to say to you.

[Jackal]

I am sorry that this happened to you. I hope you find someone who can give you many nights like this but with the sincerity of being interested in you.

[Prospero]

I looked for him under that name... can't find him. Like to take a baseball bat to him personally.

[dderek123]

So I went on a very romantic, exciting, and genuinely magical date on Tuesday night. Turns out the man in question was already attached and had no intention of seeing me a second time. I guess I'm just far too trusting, and that this is a reminder that when you're a transsexual sex worker, it IS too good to be true when it feels like a guy genuinely wants you as a partner. Not entirely sure why I thought otherwise... :(

Sorry to hear that Miranda. You're a lovely and charming person and I'm sure more and more guys will approach you for genuine dates as time goes by. There's plenty of fish in the sea.

I find going for a nice long bike ride or run helps in these situations. It's been doing wonders recently.

http://i.imgur.com/zQ37VX4.jpg?1

[bigkid69]

Ok, so as I said, chalk it up to experience. FYI, perhaps you've arrived as a woman more than you even realize, because this kind of thing happens to girls all the time and they're left feeling exactly the same as you do now.

I agree wholeheartedly with this.


I am truly sorry you were hurt Miranda, you seem like a genuine, honest and sweet person, I hope the actions of this total asshole don't change you for the worse. Remember, whatever doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.

[smithken]

Yeah, I'm the asshole for being miffed that a guy misrepresented himself so as to use my services as an escort without paying for them.

Granted I was naive to believe him, but naivety on my part hardly excuses him from culpability.

Well ya, you can't have it both ways. You met off a tranny admirer board that give reviews on transexual prostitutes! You should a just wrote him your rates and be done with it. Go to legit places for dating

[ohioguy13]

He sent you a picture as count chocula? wow tell me that's not a red flag!
kidding My best advice is we can all take the baggage we experience and keep it with us or just let the assholes screw up that one day in our life and not miss a really good person down the road because your defenses are up. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders Im sure your bs alarm will be up but I hope you find that someone to share life with! You deserve it

[VictoriaVeil]

There is a blacklist among providers. Someone like you describe should go on that list.

[tsdvdman]

I'm kinda tempted to send him a bill for an overnight appointment care of the law firm at which he is employed.
Your attitude is the reason why guys wouldn't even think about attempting a serious dating relationship with a TS. One bad night.date and you are ready to potentially ruin the guys career. You know how many GG's been on dates with douchebags and "players"? You don't hear them using the gender trump card. You went on a date..maybe you fucked a guy for free for a change. What's the big fucking deal? Put yourself on MATCH or POF, you'll have more suitors to "blackmail" than you can handle

[tsmirandameadows]

Your attitude is the reason why guys wouldn't even think about attempting a serious dating relationship with a TS. One bad night.date and you are ready to potentially ruin the guys career. You know how many GG's been on dates with douchebags and "players"? You don't hear them using the gender trump card. You went on a date..maybe you fucked a guy for free for a change. What's the big fucking deal? Put yourself on MATCH or POF, you'll have more suitors to "blackmail" than you can handle

So I can't make an angry comment after getting majorly hurt? And how many GGs have no legitimate career options besides sex work and all the insecurity and self-loathing which comes from being a transsexual? The bottom line is that he hurt me, he fucked with my livelihood, and he crassly manipulated someone in an emotionally vulnerable position. And I'm the asshole for making a non-serious comment in sadness, disappointment, and anger? Your attitude is the reason why many TS women don't see men as anything more than losers who pay the bills.

[tsdvdman]

and all the insecurity and self-loathing which comes from being a transsexual?

and he crassly manipulated someone in an emotionally vulnerable position.

Judging by this you are not dating material right now anyway. You need to do some internal work. And, he "majorly hurt" you after one date? Stick to sex work and porn forget about dating right now

[tsmirandameadows]

and all the insecurity and self-loathing which comes from being a transsexual?

and he crassly manipulated someone in an emotionally vulnerable position.

Judging by this you are not dating material right now anyway. You need to do some internal work. And, he "majorly hurt" you after one date? Stick to sex work and porn forget about dating right now

I gather from your comments that you really have no interest in the lives of transsexual women -- you're just here for free jack off material -- which is fine, but don't presume to lecture me if that's the case. As a closeted transwoman, you spend your whole life withdrawing further and further socially, just dreaming and wishing you could have the life and experiences that genetic women get to take for granted. Then you gradually reach a crisis point and decide to take that leap and transition. For a while the response to that decision is to be shunned, laughed at, denied employment, and generally made to be a pariah. Then, gradually, your transition begins to build momentum, slowly at first, but then it snowballs and suddenly the world begins to see you as female and respond to you as such. The life you could only imagine and dream of during those long years of unlife and isolation and despair which characterize being closeted trans suddenly is becoming your reality and you can only wonder if you are dreaming. Then, a guy asks you out and you have a night which in every detail matches what you always wanted and you begin to feel that perhaps what came before was the dream, or rather nightmare, and you have finally awoken into life as it actually is and should be.

Then you discover the man had no interest in you and just wanted to manipulate his way into fucking a porn model.

See why that would hurt even if you only went on one date and, while attracted to the man in question, were not yet attached emotionally?

[dderek123]

I guess part of transitioning is learning how to deal with the opposite sex while in your new form. Love ya Miranda, you're clever so it won't take long to be dating savvy.

[tsdvdman]

I gather from your comments that you really have no interest in the lives of transsexual women -- you're just here for free jack off material -- which is fine, but don't presume to lecture me if that's the case. As a closeted transwoman, you spend your whole life withdrawing further and further socially, just dreaming and wishing you could have the life and experiences that genetic women get to take for granted. Then you gradually reach a crisis point and decide to take that leap and transition. For a while the response to that decision is to be shunned, laughed at, denied employment, and generally made to be a pariah. Then, gradually, your transition begins to build momentum, slowly at first, but then it snowballs and suddenly the world begins to see you as female and respond to you as such. The life you could only imagine and dream of during those long years of unlife and isolation and despair which characterize being closeted trans suddenly is becoming your reality and you can only wonder if you are dreaming. Then, a guy asks you out and you have a night which in every detail matches what you always wanted and you begin to feel that perhaps what came before was the dream, or rather nightmare, and you have finally awoken into life as it actually is and should be.

Then you discover the man had no interest in you and just wanted to manipulate his way into fucking a porn model.

See why that would hurt even if you only went on one date and, while attracted to the man in question, were not yet attached emotionally?
I don't profess to know you..but physically you seem to be on the right path. All of what you just described is real..your truth and many other TS AND gg's.
However..and I'm just going to go out on a limb here but maybe..just maybe...somewhere during this romantic date you exhibited some of the "unstableness and insecurities and even a bit of "stalkeshness" that you are expressing here..and he seen that as RED FLAGS and ran as far and fast away as he could..after of course (like most men do) getting some ass. Did he pay for dinner? Did he treat to the movies?...Did he fuck your brains out? Get over it and just chalk it up to experience!!

[Jericho]

Got played, it happens...Move on :shrug

[kirahann]

Sorry Miranda :-( Not all of the guys out there are total Assholes… It’s his lost and time truly does heal all :-)

[Prospero]

tsdvdman displays the sensitivity and deep thought we have come to expect from him. Leave her alone... or do you enjoy kicking a girl when she is down.

[Rusty Eldora]

I am involved myself in a developing friendship with a girl who is escorting. But it is a friendship. I've made it clear that if and when we have sex again I will pay unless we have genuinely moved into something more. (She has offered free sessions) I have said no - because that then makes me someone just out to do what this guy did to you. Score a strings free encounter.

I have a Chinese girlfriend that is an Escort, after 4 years we still do the "pay to play" but all other time is off the clock. It has avoided the "Score the ..." issue. When she stays with me I do cover what she would make on a slow day. It is her livelihood, so it is important to respect that.

Yes, I know and understand she has other customers, I have actually met several of her regulars. It is odd, they are jealous that I am not jealous about her seeing them. She takes special care of me as a reward for not being jealous and understanding the difference between work and love for her.

[Rusty Eldora]

Sorry to hear that Miranda. You're a lovely and charming person and I'm sure more and more guys will approach you for genuine dates as time goes by. There's plenty of fish in the sea.

Yes, Miranda this "Count Chucky" was dishonest with you about his intentions. I gather he brought this up in the morning or by email afterwards. Do you think he had any prior Tgirl experience, also prior Escort experience - it doesn't justify it but many guys think it is demeaning to 'pay for' sex, even though they are often bartering with a fancy dinner, hotel, gifts, etc. of similar value. But by that he was a total jerk.

If you meet someone in the civvie world use your senses to determine how to handle a date proposal. But I think if your meeting is thru HA, porn, or sex industry you really must treat it as "working" and a fee be paid. If you are enjoying your time and wish to provide social time at not cost - fine.

I believe that a good guy that is interested in you would be happy with that and understand it.

[BBaggins06]

I'm with bluesoul. This wasn't the first time this guy has done this. I bet that wasn't his primary screen name here either. That was way too smooth ...

[tsmirandameadows]

But I think if your meeting is thru HA, porn, or sex industry you really must treat it as "working" and a fee be paid. If you are enjoying your time and wish to provide social time at not cost - fine.

I believe that a good guy that is interested in you would be happy with that and understand it.

Yeah I think this will be my approach going forward. If the name you know me by is Miranda Meadows and you want to see me, then you need to pay for an appointment. If you have sincere interest in me as girlfriend material, we can set up some dinner date style appointments, see if anything sparks, and then go from there, but those are still going to be paid appointments until we determine if there is something more between us. I think that ought to be a workable approach that is easy to be consistent about. Thank you for the suggestion, Rusty!

[tsdvdman]

tsdvdman displays the sensitivity and deep thought we have come to expect from him. Leave her alone... or do you enjoy kicking a girl when she is down.
I'm telling her the truth. ALL girls go through dates and situations with guys that didn't work out. All of them DON"T want to get back at the guy by threatening to "out" him to his employers. YOU are the one who is predictable..who slobbers and kisses ass and tells them what they want to hear but what is NOT reality. Besides..in a weird strange kind of way..I think she was actually hearing what I was saying. She may not admit it because the truth hurts.

[scroller]

Turns out the man in question was already attached and had no intention of seeing me a second time.

I'm curious: How was this part communicated to you?

[nysprod]

I have a Chinese girlfriend that is an Escort, after 4 years we still do the "pay to play"

Christ I can't think of anything more lame than this.

[lexucq112]

Christ I can't think of anything more lame than this.

Lol.

[tsmirandameadows]

I'm curious: How was this part communicated to you?

See the email I quoted earlier in the thread, page 2 I think.

[bluesoul]

I looked for him under that name... can't find him.

aren't you a moderator?

http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/member.php?u=123536

[Prospero]

Tsdvdman does choose to show he is one of the assholes with his crass and aggressive remarks. Clearly not someone who likes women or transsexuals. Has he ever posted a helpful or useful remark here?

[tsdvdman]

I looked for him under that name... can't find him. Like to take a baseball bat to him personally.
WOW..you INTERNET detectives are really pathetic. The pathetic Slobbery continues without shame. It's not even that serious in the grander scheme of life...but you wanna take a bat to the guy..who you don't know?..WOW!
Now if someone said that same thing..but about referring to one of the girls..you'd be screaming for a ban. Your agenda is trasnsparent. Pathetic just pathetic!!

[scroller]

See the email I quoted earlier in the thread, page 2 I think.

Oh, I see it now in that short message further down the page. Well that's just fuckin' crazy.

You're right, that's a sociopath. I'd say count your blessings if you never have anything to do with that again.

[Ms.Stepford]

You got noob played. Plain and simple.

Don't worry. Give it like six more months and you'll be suspicious of every advance and think everyone's full of shit.

But yeah, if someone approaches you through your industry persona, they should be a potential client. It's not outside the realm of possibility that a client could lead to more, of course, but don't count on it if they're getting in touch with you as a sex worker.

It's a shitty lesson to have to learn, but experience is the only way to learn it.

[sucka4chix]

Ummm... You didn't have to have sex!!! That's where you messed up! None of this happens if you hadn't laid down with a guy on the first date!! That is soooooo NOT special! That's like rule number ONE of real dating!!

[Prospero]

I did find him actually - so cut the crap, TSDVD man. You are the pathetic character here. And as for slobbering. Don't be fucking dumb. I responded well to Miranda before this incident because she is intelligent and beautiful. We talked about the sort of stuff you've probably never even heard of .... with your cheap jibes and pathetic hostility. You've been on my case for some time. I'll be on yours too soon - so take care, you crass little guy. Pathetic. Instead of your spittle drenched words of hate for this girl and her predicament why not just shut up.

[Moon]

Just a view from the sidelines.
This kind of thing happens to everyone whether you a Man, GG or TS. unfortunately it is one of the downsides in courting.
Having a partner who is ts and been with her since she was pre-op through to her now being post op I guess my view is different. She has never worked in the sex industry and holds a regular job.

Just a few comments on the points raised

Would I date a TS and pay an hourly rate?. No. You are seeing each other because you want too.
Would I expect to sleep with her on a first date?. No. Relationships are more than sex
Would I pay for sex with and escort I was courting, whether TS or GG?. No. You have sex because it takes your relationship to the next level and you wish to share intimacy
Would I see her again if she wanted sex on a first date?. Probably not.

Miranda, not sure what happened here, maybe you didn't see the warning signs?. I am sorry to hear of your sadness.
As others have said, you should treat this as part of the dating learning curve. It has happened to most of us at sometime or other. Don't blame yourself.
I wouldn't recommend charging men to date you, you are selling yourself short with that.
Next time maybe just go for a coffee or visit a place of mutual interest during the day rather than a romantic dinner in the evening. That way there is less pressure for sex.
Maybe go on 2 or 3 dates like this to see if the other person is interest in you or your body, it will give you more time to see what they are like.

Sorry just an old fashioned guy here.

Hope thing Work out for you

Hugs
Moon

[Prospero]

Moon is a wiser chap than many

[tsdvdman]

I did find him actually - so cut the crap, TSDVD man. You are the pathetic character here. And as for slobbering. Don't be fucking dumb. I responded well to Miranda before this incident because she is intelligent and beautiful. We talked about the sort of stuff you've probably never even heard of .... with your cheap jibes and pathetic hostility. You've been on my case for some time. I'll be on yours too soon - so take care, you crass little guy. Pathetic. Instead of your spittle drenched words of hate for this girl and her predicament why not just shut up.
YOU talk about doing violence to a guy who you don't know with a situation that has nothing to do with you personally and I'm the small guy?..lol...You are a joke. You have proven to be a small minded individual who wields his invisible internet power when someone says something to the girls that you don't agree with. Is there a points system? I was not disrespectful to her at all. I gave her feedback in my own way. YOU responded to me first just because you didn't agree with what I was saying. and well..I find it nauseating how you play "captain protect a ho" in every single thread

[Prospero]

Protect a ho... what does that mean? you were harsh and unforgiving towards her. That is why i called you out.
And as for wielding power - you are talking such crap. Show me examples of abuses? C'mon? Small minded. Coming from you that is risible balderdash. Anyone who reads my many posts on many subject will know who is small minded buddy.

And as for talking about taking a baseball bat to him? Did you never make fictional threats like that? Take a look chum - I live in London and he is in California. it's words old chap... words. After he treated this girl like a turd. Perhaps you share his attitude.

[bluesoul]

Would I date a TS and pay an hourly rate?. No. You are seeing each other because you want too.
Would I expect to sleep with her on a first date?. No. Relationships are more than sex
Would I pay for sex with and escort I was courting, whether TS or GG?. No. You have sex because it takes your relationship to the next level and you wish to share intimacy

i concur with these ideals. in fact, i'd say that if i had to pay someone to sleep with them or "spend time with them" i'd equate their friendship as being something that can be purchased, which cheapens the entire relationship.

also you asked whether you'd pay an escort you were courting: i wonder what's the point of courting if you're paying at the end. the whole point of courting is a ritual to show your interest or love in someone. if you have to pay, then certainly your courtship didn't work or was miscommunicated.

it is however very interesting reading about (and from) people who pay for simple privileges like hanging out with someone or dining out. i always wonder what they would do if the entire system of money was discontinued-

[bluesoul]

Protect a ho... what does that mean?

it means to protect a prostitute- in this case whore but abbreviated as ho (hoe). the street term is known as "captain save-a-ho" or "fuckboy" something very much frowned upon amongst a collective of hetrosexual beer drinking males

http://i.imgur.com/SXnv2yg.png

[NightmareX0666]

First mistake..you trusted and believed a lawyer...
http://raggedshirts.com/images/screwem-goode-and-hart-law-firm-lawyer-funny-tshirt300.jpg

Take it as a lesson learned, this guy is a player and unfortunately you got played. Just be glad he can only claim one night with you, could have been worse if you developed feelings for him - only to find out he has a wife and kids(if he has any). At the same time, don't let this experience ruin any future chances with a person who is really worthy to be with you.

[Prospero]

Thanks for that buesoul....

so I wonder how many people here share a reductive view that, because Miranda works as a whore (my preferred word is escort) her feelings as a human not worth bothering about. Is that a nice attitude It is okay to give her a kicking because she made the fundamental mistake that a man who took her out and showed her consideration might be a decent guy. And she got screwed by a shrewd operator.