Should I Come Out?

[Toadily]

I seen this online and I thought it was interesting. I am not what I would call out but I have been caught coming out of TS Clubs, my old roommate seen my TS porn Videos on my laptop and I have been caught taking a 2nd look at a TS on the street. I don't hide it but by no means do I brag about it, it is just I do not want to have that same conversation over and over again. I hate regurgitating the same stupid story over and over.

Now this is the internet and no one has a clue here who you are. Guys are still afraid to talk about what they are looking for and what they have done.

When I am saying come out I DO NOT mean gay, just because you like a TS doesn't mean you are gay, they have a name for it, pan-sexual, which is a sexual attraction towards people with gender identities AKA Transgenders.

Anyway, read it guys, this may help you with what you are feeling.


Should I Come Out? (http://transoriented.com/should-i-come-out/186/)
Nov 13th, 2010 | By Admin | Category: Relationship Advice to TO Men
http://transoriented.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Relationship-Advice-240-x-2002.jpg

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE TO TO MEN Should I Come Out? BY ADMIN
Perhaps the greatest obstacle to most transoriented men pursuing relationships with transgendered women is their fear about what others will think, say and do. If there was no fear of ridicule, condemnation or simply confusing their friends, family and associates, I’ve little doubt, transwomen would be knocking back dates with a stick.
Though I don’t believe the ridicule and condemnation is as bad as many men fear, it certainly does exist to a degree and won’t be going away quickly. Certainly, we have a long way to go also, before confusion about such relationships abates to a level that allows transoriented men to feel no different to heterosexual men when it comes to discussing their relationship or introducing their transgendered partner.
Sometimes when we enter into our first trans relationship, their is a kind of excitement about our own self-discovery and romantic feelings that make us want to shout it from the roof-tops. My suggestion is to control that urge. Whilst you may feel proud and fearless, the fact is, most people do not want to know, aside from the fact that it generates some gossip material. They care as little as we usually do when we observe an acquaintance going through the gaga stage of a romance.
That said, it’s nice to be able to share self-discovery, excitement, anticipation and concerns with our close friends, so if you’re lucky enough to have some, I’ve found they almost universally accept the news warmly and encouragingly, albeit, often with a lot of potentially embarrassing questions and quite likely a lot of jokes, that may at times, be a bit inappropriate. Their first instinct tends to be to focus on the aspects of genitalia, sex and the apparent gayness of the relationship, something that is often found to be discordant to our feelings about the relationship.
Another thing to consider is that your transwoman partner, should she ever meet your family or associates, may not want them to perceive her through a distorted or prejudiced lens, especially if she’s quite passable and hence those people would tend to treat her more normally, without being distracted by their thoughts on recognizing differences from what they might consider a normal girl, if they aren’t at that stage aware of her transgenderism.
For those you do decide to come out to, this website was in part created for such a situation. We hope to provide more and increasingly pertinent information so that friends and family members may gain a knowledge, appreciation and more comfortable acceptance of your orientation, your partner and your relationship, without the awkwardness and difficulty of answering many questions.

[LilyRox]

*facepalm* TS's are girls.

Pansexuality means you're attracted to all living genders including guys.

The main difference from pansexual and bisexual is bisexual only likes female/male

pansexual's like everything including TG's (I don't consider all TG's women)

[Johnny.Blaze]

You know what I say...Fuck Em! All my friends know about my attraction, most of my family does as well. I hide from no one. That's my actual photo in that little avatar. I don't hide who I am. I dated a TS for a time and brought her home to meet my parents. If I love or even care about her, then that's really all that matters I think. I honestly wouldn't want to have friends or family in my life that put me down because of my choice, and especially put my girl down. Now some might be confused as to why I'm into such a thing. They of course ask the question of why. My answer will always be the same. I'm happy, and that is what you should care about most.

So seriously, if you have family or friends that are against your choice, or put you down, make fun of you or whatever. Then seriously, who needs people like that in your life anyways. Sometimes you just have to stand your ground and say, this is me. Like it or leave it....

[LilyRox]

Transsexual women should be treated like women. Unfortunately, many groups like religions treat it as a disease. There's a reason why transsexual porn is aimed at heterosexual men it's because that's what a number of them are attracted too. Guys don't want to see hairy non feminine figures and transsexuals have no desire to be that way either. There's also a reason they call it Male to Female.

[Toadily]

*facepalm* TS's are girls.

Pansexuality means you're attracted to all living genders including guys.

The main difference from pansexual and bisexual is bisexual only likes female/male

pansexual's like everything including TG's (I don't consider all TG's women)

All all Tg don't consider you one either.
http://photorumors.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/internet-troll.jpeg

[Johnny.Blaze]

Lily, you stated "I don't consider all TG's women" What do you exactly mean by that? I'm asking cause the way I see things. If someone chooses to live there life as a female. Then shouldnt they be considered female?

[LilyRox]

To be honest there are tons of transsexual women that are more feminine than actual women. So tired of stupid people putting this evil cloud or "coming out" bs on men attracted to transsexual women. People who talk about this have a problem of their own, it's called transphobia.

[Johnny.Blaze]

All all Tg don't consider you one either.
http://photorumors.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/internet-troll.jpeg

I think that was pretty uncalled for. You get the :moon for that one...

[LilyRox]

Lily, you stated "I don't consider all TG's women" What do you exactly mean by that? I'm asking cause the way I see things. If someone chooses to live there life as a female. Then shouldnt they be considered female?

TG's (transgender people) include a number of people, drag queens, crossdressers, transsexuals, etc. TS (transsexuals) purely have a sense they were born in the wrong body. I'm not getting into that b4 this thread goes up in flames.

[Johnny.Blaze]

TG's (transgender people) include a number of people, drag queens, crossdressers, transsexuals, etc. TS (transsexuals) purely have a sense they were born in the wrong body. I'm not getting into that b4 this thread goes up in flames.

Well drag queens, and crossdressers don't really live their everyday lives as females. So no, they certainly wouldn't be considered females.
But back to the topic at hand. I say, like what you like, love who you wanna love. And NEVER let anyone try and tell you your wrong for it...

[Toadily]

TG's (transgender people) include a number of people, drag queens, crossdressers, transsexuals, etc. TS (transsexuals) purely have a sense they were born in the wrong body. I'm not getting into that b4 this thread goes up in flames.

Here you go again

[LilyRox]

Wtf is that about. What are you 10? You don't like what I have to say so you go and steal my photo to write abusive stuff on it?

[Johnny.Blaze]

Here you go again

Wow, um I wouldn't say that. I think Lily has had many good comments in threads. Are you perhaps upset because she got upset at your topic? She made some good points. Maybe she just came off the wrong way. Perhaps saying "So tired of stupid people putting this evil cloud or "coming out" bs on men attracted to transsexual women. wasn't the best choice of words to use. But I like Lily so, I gotta call disagree on this one...Was kind of funny though, with the newspaper letters...

[Johnny.Blaze]

And yes, a bit immature for taking her pic and defacing it. Far to nice of a picture to do that to...

[LilyRox]

"So tired of stupid people putting this evil cloud or "coming out" bs on men attracted to transsexual women.

When I said this I was referring to the site he supplied and the writer "Admin".

[Johnny.Blaze]

When I said this I was referring to the site he supplied and the writer "Admin".

Well hun, that will always be I'm afraid. Don't think that will ever change. There is always someone out there who thinks they know the right and wrong way of doing things. You know, the simple minded ones - lol

[Toadily]

Wow, um I wouldn't say that. I think Lily has had many good comments in threads. Are you perhaps upset because she got upset at your topic? She made some good points. Maybe she just came off the wrong way. Perhaps saying "So tired of stupid people putting this evil cloud or "coming out" bs on men attracted to transsexual women. wasn't the best choice of words to use. But I like Lily so, I gotta call disagree on this one...Was kind of funny though, with the newspaper letters...

She isn't even talking about the topic. It is clear it wasn't even read. She just jumps in and starts typing saying stuff like this
"Transsexual women should be treated like women. Unfortunately, many groups like religions treat it as a disease. There's a reason why transsexual porn is aimed at heterosexual men it's because that's what a number of them are attracted too. Guys don't want to see hairy non feminine figures and transsexuals have no desire to be that way either. There's also a reason they call it Male to Female."
That has been regurgitated too many times when it has ZERO to do with the topic.

[LilyRox]

You sir are in denial if you don't see how all that correlates to the whole men who love transsexuals "coming out" nonsense. There's nothing to "come out" about. Transsexual women are women too. This site http://transoriented.com/should-i-come-out/186/ is laughable.

Go ahead and "come out" no one is going to care if you're attracted to transsexual women.

[Toadily]

You sir are in denial if you don't see how all that correlates to the whole men who love transsexuals "coming out" nonsense. There's nothing to "come out" about. Transsexual women are women too. This site http://transoriented.com/should-i-come-out/186/ is laughable.

Go ahead and "come out" no one is going to care if you're attracted to transsexual women.

Every time I read a post you make I feel like I lost some more brain cells.

[Quiet Reflections]

Go ahead and "come out" no one is going to care if you're attracted to transsexual women.
People will care and react to that. Now whether you should care about their reaction is something different. people Don't tell others about their attraction to trans people because they are afraid of the social stigma.

[Johnny.Blaze]

You sir are in denial if you don't see how all that correlates to the whole men who love transsexuals "coming out" nonsense. There's nothing to "come out" about. Transsexual women are women too. This site http://transoriented.com/should-i-come-out/186/ is laughable.

Go ahead and "come out" no one is going to care if you're attracted to transsexual women.

I will have to disagree a little with you on one thing Lily. There are many that, though they may not care. They will say something in the negative about it. They may joke, or even pick fun at you. My best friend at first, was always saying wise cracks to me in the beginning, that made me upset. Almost ended our friendship. Allot of people don't fully understand the whole thing. My friend thought I was gay. But I wasn't. He didn't understand the whole thing. So in some ways it can be difficult. You're in a different position than say a strait guy who likes shemales. You like, female, male and shemale from what I gather. So it's pretty strait forward with you. For me, and many others in here, it's different. We like females and shemales only. So I think allot people get confused by all that. Like my buddy, who just thought I was gay or bi. And the annoyance of that, really almost ended our friendship. It's taken a few years but I think everyone in my circle finally understands...

[LilyRox]

Unless you really want to "come out" there's no point in doing it. Multiple studies have shown that heterosexual males like transsexuals. It's known as an "erotical illusion".

http://keentalks.com/erotical-illusions/

Men who don't like the most passable transsexuals are either gay or have transphobia (like your friend).

[Johnny.Blaze]

Unless you really want to "come out" there's no point in doing it. Multiple studies have shown that heterosexual males like transsexuals. It's known as an "erotical illusion".

http://keentalks.com/erotical-illusions/

Men who don't like the most passable transsexuals are either gay or have transphobia (like your friend).

My friend is not hostile or afraid of transexuals or gays. I think you are missing one very important thing in your opinion. "Men who don't like the most passable transsexuals are either gay or have transphobia" Not true dear. You see there is something that you're missing. It's called a penis that my friend isn't fond of - lol. Now I have no clue as to what a post op vagina feels like. So I cant say if they are the exact same or not. But I'm talking pre-op here. And with a pre-op, comes a penis. I would think that even the most passable looking TS would not appease my friend. But would he be able to talk with one, hang out with me and her, yes he could. So the transphobia is not there. And he's certainly not gay. From all the girls I see the dam guy with.

[Johnny.Blaze]

My friend at first was basically a ball buster, which I hated. You know, say shit to make fun of me. Say stuff like "Her dick bigger than yours bro? HaHaHa" stuff like that. Allot of guys have to deal with that sort of stuff. I myself had enough, and put an end to it. Him cutting the shit, or our friendship ending. He grew up and it's all good now...

[Johnny.Blaze]

Unless you really want to "come out" there's no point in doing it. Multiple studies have shown that heterosexual males like transsexuals. It's known as an "erotical illusion".

http://keentalks.com/erotical-illusions/

Men who don't like the most passable transsexuals are either gay or have transphobia (like your friend).

Also you are right, unless you really want to come out, there is no point. I so called, came out, because I really liked the girl I was with. And I wasn't gonna lie to my family and friends. She was very passable, yet I told them anyway. I'm just like that. Very honest to a fault type. I mean before that a few of my friends already knew I watched TS porn at times anyway. I would even show them a picture, and say "Check her out, isnt she gorgeous - lol" I remember the first girl I ever showed my friends I had the hots for and pretty much came out to, was Barbie Woods. I was head over heels for her, and I didn't care who knew it - lol
Dam I miss her like crazy :(

[runningdownthatdream]

My friend at first was basically a ball buster, which I hated. You know, say shit to make fun of me. Say stuff like "Her dick bigger than yours bro? HaHaHa" stuff like that. Allot of guys have to deal with that sort of stuff. I myself had enough, and put an end to it. Him cutting the shit, or our friendship ending. He grew up and it's all good now...

That's a pretty good indication that person is immature and not ready for real friendship.

There was a time when I had some 'friends' who would react that way. These days my friends know that I do my own thing and live the way I want to. they know that while I may respect their opinions, it wouldn't influence how i live my life. When people respect your intelligence and capabilities it's much less likely they will criticize your lifestyle choices.

[scroller]

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html

[Ms.Stepford]

The coolest people are real about every aspect of their lives.

[robertlouis]

If you can't be true to yourself, with everything that entails with the possible reactions of others, you're not complete as a person.

And keeping your desires and urges secret and silent will be like a running sore until you confront them honestly.

So, come out, no matter how hard and painful it might be initially.

[nysprod]

If you can't be true to yourself, with everything that entails with the possible reactions of others, you're not complete as a person.

And keeping your desires and urges secret and silent will be like a running sore until you confront them honestly.

So, come out, no matter how hard and painful it might be initially.


I see this as being highly individualistic but moving past that, explain how not publically discussing or announcing one's sexual predilections makes you incomplete as a person...like once you know I get off on shoving tomatoes up my rear I'm suddenly more honest?

Or like when you're at a party, make sure everyone there knows exactly what it takes to float your boat so as to not risk personal completeness?

Do you really need to know everything about everyone's sex life and if so, why?

[dderek123]

If you were in a relationship with a TS and didn't take her with you to the party in an effort to hide that side of yourself... then you're not a complete person.

[VictoriaVeil]

If you can't be true to yourself, with everything that entails with the possible reactions of others, you're not complete as a person.

And keeping your desires and urges secret and silent will be like a running sore until you confront them honestly.

So, come out, no matter how hard and painful it might be initially.


I see this as being highly individualistic but moving past that, explain how not publically discussing or announcing one's sexual predilections makes you incomplete as a person...like once you know I get off on shoving tomatoes up my rear I'm suddenly more honest?

Or like when you're at a party, make sure everyone there knows exactly what it takes to float your boat so as to not risk personal completeness?

Do you really need to know everything about everyone's sex life and if so, why?

Do I need to everything about my friends sex life? nope.

DO them telling me what makes them happy or unhappy make for more fulfilling life. Yep.

Does Holding back add more stress to a person's life? it does until it erupts in an unhealthy manner usually at a personal cost and sometimes a dangerous one.

[nysprod]

Do I need to everything about my friends sex life? nope.

DO them telling me what makes them happy or unhappy make for more fulfilling life. Yep.

That's fine for people who are comfortable with that...I'm not saying people shouldn't discuss these things if they feel it's important and/or more fulfilling...my only points are that if a person chooses NOT to, it doesn't diminish their honesty or who they are as a person.


Does Holding back add more stress to a person's life? it does until it erupts in an unhealthy manner usually at a personal cost and sometimes a dangerous one.

I'm sure holding back is stressful for some...but what about for those who are more comfortable that way? Again, if someone has made this as their personal choice, IMO it's not for others to judge.



If you were in a relationship with a TS and didn't take her with you to the party in an effort to hide that side of yourself... then you're not a complete person.

Agreed...if you're going to be in a real relationship this doesn't make sense...and I would go so far as to say you wouldn't even be having a real relationship under these circumstances.