Best Thing To Do When Someone's Chewing You Out And You Got Nuthin'?

[Dino Velvet]

Hate being in situations where I've screwed up so bad I need to take a hollering at. I find the best way to cut the unpleasant event short is to politely point at and when he acknowledges the pointing you say, "Something hanging out of your nose." If you're lucky they'll wipe their nose with their sleeve and storm off.

What do you usually do to avoid being the receiver of poetic justice?

[RallyCola]

i am patronizing. i tell them that i'm sorry they had a bad day and decided to overreact by speaking to me in an unprofessional tone. then i remind them that i don't give a fuck since i'm about to be in a tenure-track.

[GroobyKrissy]

That never happens to me. Being Asian, I am perfect in every way.

[RallyCola]

That never happens to me. Being Asian, I am perfect in every way.

except driving, taking a bath, covering your mouth when you cough, speaking in a regular tone instead of yelling, and adhering to copyright laws for music, movies and porn.

[Dino Velvet]

i am patronizing. i tell them that i'm sorry they had a bad day and decided to overreact by speaking to me in an unprofessional tone. then i remind them that i don't give a fuck since i'm about to be in a tenure-track.

Apologize then calmly let them know they overreacted then be indifferent about the whole thing. Good and somewhat Judo-like.

[GroobyKrissy]

except driving, taking a bath, covering your mouth when you cough, speaking in a regular tone instead of yelling, and adhering to copyright laws for music, movies and porn.

Well, that is just small stuff. And the Chinese.

[Dino Velvet]

That never happens to me. Being Asian, I am perfect in every way.

Lifting your skirt and flashing your buttcheeks would make a fella forget why he was mad at you. With a gal I gotta strap-on the feedbag for 45 minutes.

[RallyCola]

well, at this point in my life, anyone that is chewing me out is an attending or senior staff and they are doing it for their ego, not because i really made a mistake. indifference is a more apt response to their ego than giving them what they want...an emotional response of anger (which they can pounce on) or of cowardice (which they feed upon).

[dderek123]

An ex colleague of mine served in the SAS (so he claimed). In that situation, he found it useful to picture them sitting on a toilet taking a giant shit while they were chewing him out.

It's a great equalizer. Everybody shits.

[Dino Velvet]

It's a great equalizer. Everybody shits.

The Great Santini - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpHX2ul8ilQ)

[RallyCola]

An ex colleague of mine served in the SAS (so he claimed). In that situation, he found it useful to picture them sitting on a toilet taking a giant shit while they were chewing him out.

It's a great equalizer. Everybody shits.

this might be a problem for scat lovers...they will pop a boner and then its all downhill from there.

[Dino Velvet]

this might be a problem for scat lovers...they will pop a boner and then its all downhill from there.

When you yell at a person properly the wiener should invert not expand.

[RallyCola]

i find that unless i make a man's balls re-invaginate into his abdomen, i have not done my job belittling him

[Dino Velvet]

i find that unless i make a man's balls re-invaginate into his abdomen, i have not done my job belittling him

Turn 'em into ovaries like they shoulda been in the first place.

[RallyCola]

Turn 'em into ovaries like they shoulda been in the first place.


umm...no.

not all men should/can be transgendered. woody allen, dwanye 'the rock' johnson, conan obrien and vern troyer would make terrible tgirls.

[dderek123]

this might be a problem for scat lovers...they will pop a boner and then its all downhill from there.

super awkward

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSl9ciNnASx6ejOJS3pdnb-nI-cBn8A-QyaTKxV2acUgFuSeJ75xw

[RallyCola]

super awkward

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSl9ciNnASx6ejOJS3pdnb-nI-cBn8A-QyaTKxV2acUgFuSeJ75xw

then your boss will think you are a masochist and it will create a weird power struggle. then one day, your boss will find you jerking in while they are taking a shit in the next stall. then their will be a sexual tension between the 2 of you until you permit them to take a dump on your chest.

[Dino Velvet]

umm...no.

not all men should/can be transgendered. woody allen, dwanye 'the rock' johnson, conan obrien and vern troyer would make terrible tgirls.

Not literally. I agree those dudes would make terrible broads too. Even for 5 20s I don't make their phone ring.

[Dino Velvet]

delete

[RallyCola]

well...i guess one thing you could do when getting chewed out is imagine your boss in drag. not hot sexy drag...but all queened out belting out "i will survive"

[RallyCola]

This gal's kissing booth is all the rage. Keeps popping the Pooptoids.

somewhere, out there, there is a terrible father.

[Dino Velvet]

somewhere, out there, there is a terrible father.

At least he's not constipated.

[RallyCola]

yuck...incest and scat at the same time. she might as well be taking backshots from a goat as well

[MacShreach]

An ex colleague of mine served in the SAS (so he claimed). In that situation, he found it useful to picture them sitting on a toilet taking a giant shit while they were chewing him out.

It's a great equalizer. Everybody shits.

Heh, long time ago I had a boss who was a real prick. (By all accounts still is.) Anyway, as well as being a prick, he was overweight, suffered from short-guy syndrome, and had a face like a garden gnome who'd been sucking lemons.

Whenever he got uppity I just used to picture him wearing a little pointy red hat with a bell on the end and shorts. Even better, I told everyone else in the office what I did.

(I don't know if you get Noddy in the US....)

[TheGuard]

Shit your pants, and then accuse them of shitting in your pants, they'll get confused and leave.

[Dino Velvet]

My most bizarre firing was from a military surplus store. Was making extra money while playing football in school. I was a horrible employee who took delight in running customers off and putting The Oriental Spike on my Asst Manager. Real manager came in to fire my ass one day. Instead of allowing a normal termination I used my head to damage the back of the store then stormed out.

[scottnapx]

i fart. loud and proud

[Dino Velvet]

i fart. loud and proud

Even better when she's trapped in the hot shower with you.

[danthepoetman]

Dino, once again the French guy is not sure what this is all about. You really have the lingo, my friend... We natives don't always get it...
If you're asking what we do when we fuck up, well, hell, it depends on the people I fuck up with. If it's people I don't know, I can't possibly care less (I'm the type to live and let live; I don't care about them, they don't care about me, hopefully). If it's friends, which happens quite fucking often (excuse the French, but I am), I try to make amend. Jeezus! I can't tell you how often it happens to me. But my friends knows me, they know how much I wear my heart on my sleeve and how much in fact, I really love them (because I'm also the type to think that if anyone likes me, he or she is an angel), they know how fucked up I can be and confused, but love what I am deep down, as they know I can see in them more than anything because that's the way I am, they usually forgive me -not always...
If you're talking about shit, well, that's a different matter. It's not even important to me. I had a drunken friend who was my life's bro. Once at my place, I see his face going red. A few minutes later, he excuses himself and goes to the bathroom. I check my coach, and I notice a definite brown slit on the tissue of the old coach (I had bought it from a bankrupt sale anyways). So when he came out of the bathroom, I told him: "You fucking son of a bitch, you shat on my fucking coach, you drunk!" and then I showed him the slit. The guy was my bro. He said to me: "Hey, please don't be mad; it's just beer diahrya!". It remained an inside joke for years between us. On that night, he laughed as if taken by hysteria...
Maybe I'm too soft. What do you think, Dino?

[Idt20082008"]

Like a naughty little puppy, you should have at least rubbed his nose in it Dan!

[danthepoetman]

Like a naughty little puppy, you should have at least rubbed his nose in it Dan!
To be totally honnest, the reason why I didn't is that we talked about it together before that. When you drink, well... it happens...
It happened to me too...
I was mad about my coach, but how can you blame a brother in drunkeness? :)

[fred41]

I'd be pissed if someone shat on my coach too....worse if it was on the inside, cause it's harder to get the stink out. Febreze has it's limits.

[RallyCola]

in grad school, my friend stink palmed his mentor's office door knob. i mean he really dug up there and rubbed it all over the handle. it was awesome and disgusting at the same time. thank god i didn't work in that building.

[Dino Velvet]

I'd be pissed if someone shat on my coach too....worse if it was on the inside, cause it's harder to get the stink out. Febreze has it's limits.

I threw up in a cab once. Cab driver pulled over and went apeshit yelling at me. I threw up once more.

I also drank a bunch of Goldschläger and rode to a bar with my buddy in his blue Nissan. I got sick while the car was in motion, rolled down the window, and ended up hurling all over the side of the door. When I saw his car the next day at work I saw gold glitter still all over the door.

[tsadriana]

I threw up in a cab once. Cab driver pulled over and went apeshit yelling at me. I threw up once more.

I also drank a bunch of Goldschläger and rode to a bar with my buddy in his blue Nissan. I got sick while the car was in motion, rolled down the window, and ended up hurling all over the side of the door. When I saw his car the next day at work I saw gold glitter still all over the door.
Me burp :mad:

[Dino Velvet]

Me burp :mad:

If I ever vomited on you it would be that white stuff that you like to take a bath in.:jerkoff

[tsadriana]

If I ever vomited on you it would be that white stuff that you like to take a bath in.:jerkoff
hahahaha you made my day,now i can go to do my normal stuff:mad::mad:x

[Dino Velvet]

hahahaha you made my day,now i can go to do my normal stuff:mad::mad:x

More salad?

[tsadriana]

More salad?
Later love ,now me cleaning the kitchen ,salad comes after a good bath.:mad:

[Dino Velvet]

Later love ,now me cleaning the kitchen ,salad comes after a good bath.:mad:

You'd need a shower after the bath I would give you.