Trannsexual film script

[g@meb0y]

So I have been a long time lover of this forum, so I figured this would be a great place to start getting feedback on something I've been working on for a while. Basically, I am a T-Girl lover, and as a tribute to everything T i wrote a feature length script about the world's first transsexual superhero. I am on the second draft of the script, which is at 88 pages at the moment. I would love to exchange emails with some of the people here so I can forward the PDF of it and get real feedback, but for now to get things started, I will post an extended summary of the film.

Supernova
TONY was a normal, everyday college student until, one day, his life was turned upside down by a bizarre lab accident. The accident as left him with the power to convert his potential energy into electrical energy which he can propel at foes in a variety of ways. His roommate, CARL, convinces him to become a superhero, which Tony reluctantly agrees too. Everything goes well at first, until the disgraced professor responsible for the lab accident comes back to exact his revenge on our hero. He kidnaps Tony and performs a forced sex change operation on him, turning Tony into Tina. She manages to escape before he completes the process by removing her cock and balls. Unfortunately, the process has gone too far to reverse, and now Tina must comes to grip with being transsexual, and stop the Professor before he can hurt anyone else.


So that is a very basic summary of what happens with a few spoilers, but there is far more to it than just that. If you'd like to read the whole thing, send me a private message with your email address so I can forward you the script. Otherwise, please leave me a comment. I really would like to get it turned into a digital comic first before i make it into a movie, so if you have any artistic skills I would love to speak with you more.

[GroobyKrissy]

You asked for feedback so here you go.

I'm sure there is a market for this type of content; however, the vast majority of persons identifying as TS would find your storyline to be fairly offensive for a variety of different reasons which, if you have been a "long time lover of this forum", you can probably reach on your own.

There are a few key words in your summary that show a pretty large lack of understanding about the basics of identifying as TS... "forced sex change," "hurt" (think about what that implies), etc.

Anyway, I'm not one to squelch creativity in any form but if you're going to want this taken seriously by the TS community, I would say you need to spend some more time at the drawing board. That being said, fiction is fiction for a reason so...

Good luck to you though :)

[g@meb0y]

The forced sex change has been used in Transsexual porn stories forever, and it lends creativity and originality to the story. And when I mean "hurt," I mean literally hurt other people, not perform other forced sex change operations. He holds the entire science department of the university he was fired from hostage, and at the end he makes another villain with powers similar to Tony's, who actually does kill people. Also, Tony accepts his new form and grows to love it by the end, forming a romantic relationship with his roommate Carl. To give it an analogy, I didn't know for sure that I was bisexual until one day it just clicked. Sure, i liked T-Girls, but i thought I was straight with that one exception. With Tony, it's a similar situation. As a guy, he is awkward and out of place, and it isn't until the forced sex change operation that everything clicks for him and he realizes it was what he wanted all the time, especially once he gets his parent's approval. This is a story of acceptance, and It's a superhero story, which is why the forced sex change is even there. It's part of the origin story, it's fantastical, and it's extreme. But it solidifies in Tony's mind that he has to be a hero, and that's why it has to happen that way. It is a central element to the script.

[GroobyKrissy]

The forced sex change has been used in Transsexual porn stories forever, and it lends creativity and originality to the story. And when I mean "hurt," I mean literally hurt other people, not perform other forced sex change operations. He holds the entire science department of the university he was fired from hostage, and at the end he makes another villain with powers similar to Tony's, who actually does kill people. Also, Tony accepts his new form and grows to love it by the end, forming a romantic relationship with his roommate Carl. To give it an analogy, I didn't know for sure that I was bisexual until one day it just clicked. Sure, i liked T-Girls, but i thought I was straight with that one exception. With Tony, it's a similar situation. As a guy, he is awkward and out of place, and it isn't until the forced sex change operation that everything clicks for him and he realizes it was what he wanted all the time, especially once he gets his parent's approval. This is a story of acceptance, and It's a superhero story, which is why the forced sex change is even there. It's part of the origin story, it's fantastical, and it's extreme. But it solidifies in Tony's mind that he has to be a hero, and that's why it has to happen that way. It is a central element to the script.

So, you have much less of an understanding than I originally thought if that is your response.

You are not writing a "Transsexual" comic / story then. You're writing a "forced fem" comic / story. They are completely different and like I said, you will have a difficult time selling this to the TS community as something that is helpful in furthering an accurate portrayal or educating people about it.

Your storyline basically supposes that one can be made "Transsexual" (simply by body modification) and that is a MAJOR flaw right from the get-go.

Writing fiction is fine and dandy but I'm just saying you should be cautious about the terminology you use if you want to be taken seriously.

[bluesoul]

the biggest "problem" of sorts that i noticed was this one:


His roommate, CARL, convinces him to become a superhero, which Tony reluctantly agrees too.

if you're familiar with hero-driven storytelling (hero's journey) then you'll probably know that CARL isn't just going to tell TONY to become a superhero. also the "reluctantly agrees to" kinda implied a level of nonchalance on your main characters part. was he, like, considering doing something else?

also- the forced feminzation angle seems a little unnecessary and propels the whole story into something more akin to pornography. why wouldn't the "disgraced professor" just try and kill him? you know- like how most guys operate. does this professor just go around converting his enemies into transsexuals?

i'm not sure what tone you're going for, but if it's supposed to be comedic then i guess it works. if you're trying to make something more serious- then you've lost me

[TSPornFan]

Welcome to the forums!

Force Fem stories are not about a man being forced to be a transsexual. Most force fem stories are about a man being forced to be a crossdresser.

I am guessing you don't know the difference between the two. A transsexual is an individual who feels that he or she was born in the wrong body, and may take various actions such as hormone therapy and surgery to change their sex. A crossdresser is a person who only dresses as the opposite sex for sexual pleasure. Some croessdressers are men who have sex with women. Not all crossdressers are looking for dick.

[g@meb0y]

I see what you're saying, and I can definitely make changes accordingly. I think one thing I can definitely do is further emphasize how he secretly wants to be a transsexual and doesn't fully realize it yet. I already have a few scenes before the change of him failing miserably with his girl friend at the time. I also have a masturbation scene towards the beginning, but I don't say what he is jacking too. I could actually describe it now as some T-Girl porn. I could also throw in some awkward romance bits between him and Carl before the change to further show that he isn't sure about his sexuality. Finally, when he talks with his mom at the end i could have not be as surprised, maybe even put in some flashbacks of him dressing as a girl as a kid, or doing other girly things in his developmental stages of childhood and adolescence. You feedback is definitely appreciated though, because I want this hero to be something T-Girls can look up to, because there aren't any Transsexual superheros at the moment. There are Gay and even lesbian heroes, but no Transsexuals. What do you think? Would you like to read it?

[BellaBellucci]

Trollbait.

~BB~

[g@meb0y]

Welcome to the forums!

Force Fem stories are not about a man being forced to be a transsexual. Most force fem stories are about a man being forced to be a crossdresser.

I am guessing you don't know the difference between the two. A transsexual is an individual who feels that he or she was born in the wrong body, and may take various actions such as hormone therapy and surgery to change their sex. A crossdresser is a person who only dresses as the opposite sex for sexual pleasure. Some croessdressers are men who have sex with women. Not all crossdressers are looking for dick.


I've seen forced fem stories that include surgical enhancements like breast augmentation, waist trimming, permanent makeup, but lifts, etc... And that's the thing is Tony does wind up wanting dick in the end, and we aren't even sure he likes pussy in the first place.

[TSPornFan]

I've seen forced fem stories that include surgical enhancements like breast augmentation, waist trimming, permanent makeup, but lifts, etc... And that's the thing is Tony does wind up wanting dick in the end, and we aren't even sure he likes pussy in the first place.

Where did you see movies about men being forced to become transsexuals? What site is this? I've seen alot of TS porn and I know my porn. This I have never heard of or seen. As I have said I have seen forced fem scenes about crossdressers, but not TS women.

[g@meb0y]

the biggest "problem" of sorts that i noticed was this one:



if you're familiar with hero-driven storytelling (hero's journey) then you'll probably know that CARL isn't just going to tell TONY to become a superhero. also the "reluctantly agrees to" kinda implied a level of nonchalance on your main characters part. was he, like, considering doing something else?

also- the forced feminzation angle seems a little unnecessary and propels the whole story into something more akin to pornography. why wouldn't the "disgraced professor" just try and kill him? you know- like how most guys operate. does this professor just go around converting his enemies into transsexuals?

i'm not sure what tone you're going for, but if it's supposed to be comedic then i guess it works. if you're trying to make something more serious- then you've lost me

It takes quite a few heated arguments before Tony finally agrees to try becoming a hero. and Tony knows nothing about super heroes, whereas Carl is a comic geek. It's not until after the sex change that Tony truly realizes the importance of his powers. Also, Professor Ratcliff explains in a big speech why he doesn't just kill tony. He wants to shatter Tony's reality, and destroy his world like Tony destroyed his.

[g@meb0y]

Where did you see movies about men being forced to become transsexuals? What site is this? I've seen alot of TS porn and I know my porn. This I have never heard of or seen. As I have said I have seen forced fem scenes about crossdressers, but not TS women.

There was a site on blogspot for the longest time called "forced fem captions" where men had surgeries done to them to make them either T-Girls or full on women. I think it's on tumblr now. I can't find the exact site but here is one similar
http://trixiemarieslut.tumblr.com/

Lustcomic does forced feminization stories all the time that includes surgery.

granted, I haven't seen any live actions videos that included surgeries, but in erotic stories and porn comics I see it all the time. Also I am probably using the wrong term when i say porn comics, but I can't think of the proper one atm.

[TSPornFan]

There was a site on blogspot for the longest time called "forced fem captions" where men had surgeries done to them to make them either T-Girls or full on women. I think it's on tumblr now. I can't find the exact site but here is one similar
http://trixiemarieslut.tumblr.com/

Lustcomic does forced feminization stories all the time that includes surgery.

granted, I haven't seen any live actions videos that included surgeries, but in erotic stories and porn comics I see it all the time. Also I am probably using the wrong term when i say porn comics, but I can't think of the proper one atm.

Due you proved my point. You don't understand the difference between a TS and crossdresser. Secondly, that site features crossdressers.

[g@meb0y]

Due you proved my point. You don't understand the difference between a TS and crossdresser. Secondly, that site features crossdressers.

You call that a crossdresser? I'm not saying all forced fem stories include surgery, but they do exist.

[bluesoul]

I see what you're saying, and I can definitely make changes accordingly. I think one thing I can definitely do is further emphasize how he secretly wants to be a transsexual and doesn't fully realize it yet. I already have a few scenes before the change of him failing miserably with his girl friend at the time. I also have a masturbation scene towards the beginning, but I don't say what he is jacking too. I could actually describe it now as some T-Girl porn. I could also throw in some awkward romance bits between him and Carl before the change to further show that he isn't sure about his sexuality. Finally, when he talks with his mom at the end i could have not be as surprised, maybe even put in some flashbacks of him dressing as a girl as a kid, or doing other girly things in his developmental stages of childhood and adolescence. You feedback is definitely appreciated though, because I want this hero to be something T-Girls can look up to, because there aren't any Transsexual superheros at the moment. There are Gay and even lesbian heroes, but no Transsexuals. What do you think? Would you like to read it?

so, before TONY was a tranny superhero he was straight and a likely member of shemale yum, then after he's kidnapped and given FREE srs he start's having a relationship with his roommate CARL?

so- not only was his gender changed, but so was his orientation? i think the real hero here is the professor. i'd focus more on him, then have him going around 'correcting' the world by giving tranny escorts srs after kidnapping them whilst he collects the money from their clients which he can use to fuck up that stupid school that TONY was going to that tried to suppress his ingenious tranny changing technology and skills

you said there are no tranny superheros. well, there are no srs doctor superheros either

[TSPornFan]

Oh I hope you realized that the "surgery pictures" are real genetic female pornstars. I would know because I also watch straight porn.

Dude no one has never and I mean never has ever been forced to become a TS in a porno scene. That is illegal. No one can force someone to change their sex. Do you realize what is coming out of your mouth?

[g@meb0y]

so, before TONY was a tranny superhero he was straight and a likely member of shemale yum, then after he's kidnapped and given FREE srs he start's having a relationship with his roommate CARL?

so- not only was his gender changed, but so was his orientation? i think the real hero here is the professor. i'd focus more on him, then have him going around 'correcting' the world by giving tranny escorts srs after kidnapping them whilst he collects the money from their clients which he can use to fuck up that stupid school that TONY was going to that tried to suppress his ingenious tranny changing technology and skills

you said there are no tranny superheros. well, there are no srs doctor superheros either

Tony's orientation was closeted gay if anything before the surgery. and that would be a completely different story you are suggesting, one which I am not interested in telling. Professor's Ratcliff's actions define him as a villain. They are done with malice for the aim of revenge, whereas Tony is actually fighting to help people. Your suggestion would be an entirely different story.

[g@meb0y]

Oh I hope you realized that the "surgery pictures" are real genetic female pornstars. I would know because I also watch straight porn.

Dude no one has never and I mean never been forced to become a TS in a porno scene. That is illegal. No one can force someone to change their sex. Do you realize what is coming out of your mouth?

That's why I said it doesn't happen in live action porn, I said that in my first reply to you.

[Prospero]

Almodovar used a forced sex change as the central theme of a movie he made two years ago. But there was no porn element. The procedure was conducted by a plastic surgeon for purposes of revenge. It was called The Skin I Live In.

My suggestion is read a book on story construction or on film writing. Screenplay by Sid Field is a classic one.

[Jericho]

The forced sex change has been used in Transsexual porn stories forever, and it lends creativity and originality to the story.


Erm....! :shrug

[giovanni_hotel]

LOL.
THis thread.

[nysprod]

If you're coming at this as a parody, or are planning to have an underlying message about the hypocrisy being an anti LGBT activist while secretly taking it up the ass from multiple TGirl pornstars, ok.

If you're coming at this straight, forget it.

[Castor_Troy05]

You'd be better off posting that on fictionmania dude, seems more in style with what you're writing

[Stavros]

I think you need to decide if you want to make a film about transexuals, or a film that features transexuals -Ken Russell and the Miike Takashi have transexuals and transvestes in their films as part of the cast and it works.

Or you could try and create a script from the novels of Severo Sarduy, the Cuban author who not only features transexual characters but used them to explore the diversity of Cuban life while also playing with and criticising inherited concepts of gender and sexuality:

Firefly:
http://www.ebooks.com/1080054/firefly/sarduy-severo-fried-mark-trans/

Cobra, and Maitreya
Cobra and Maitreya: Two Novels: Severo Sarduy, Suzanne Jill Levine: 9781564780768: Amazon.com: Books@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51MSte-EpCL.@@AMEPARAM@@51MSte-EpCL (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1564780767/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1564780767&linkCode=as2&tag=banofthe-20)

I think one of his transvesite characters is a detective which ought to fit in with today's obsession with crime.

But as Prospero also suggests, some lessons in how to make a film from the start would help -

Here is one of many of Robert McKee's lessons:

Storylogue Study: Entering and Exiting Scenes - Pt. II of Framing Techniques - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVXhtp1r99E)

And a simplified version of Mckee's concepts from another source, for a whole film using Good Will Hunting as an example (short and informtive0

How to structure a story in Film (Three Act Structure) - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5jqRqCkLRE)

[g@meb0y]

Almodovar used a forced sex change as the central theme of a movie he made two years ago. But there was no porn element. The procedure was conducted by a plastic surgeon for purposes of revenge. It was called The Skin I Live In.

My suggestion is read a book on story construction or on film writing. Screenplay by Sid Field is a classic one.

I've actually read quite a bit of books on screenwriting, as well as two years of film school at UT austin, and hundreds of hours of youtube videos about both writing and filmmaking in general.

Also, none of you have actually read the script yet, you are all basing your comments on an extended summary, which leaves out many details of the story. I would prefer it if you guys actually gave it a shot and read it before you start telling me how it won't work or how I should post in on fictionmania or whatever. And there isn't a porn element in this story either, it's a superhero tale. And yes, the forced sex change is original because it has been rarely used in cinema and never used in superhero narratives. And the film is about transsexuals, the main character is a transsexual

[Prospero]

Well old buddy, you pitched it here as if this were a panel of funders - and they don't much like your synopsis. Post a link to the full screenplay.

[Stavros]

Supernova
TONY was a normal, everyday college student until, one day, his life was turned upside down by a bizarre lab accident. The accident as left him with the power to convert his potential energy into electrical energy which he can propel at foes in a variety of ways. His roommate, CARL, convinces him to become a superhero, which Tony reluctantly agrees too. Everything goes well at first, until the disgraced professor responsible for the lab accident comes back to exact his revenge on our hero. He kidnaps Tony and performs a forced sex change operation on him, turning Tony into Tina. She manages to escape before he completes the process by removing her cock and balls. Unfortunately, the process has gone too far to reverse, and now Tina must comes to grip with being transsexual, and stop the Professor before he can hurt anyone else.


As far as pitches go, you haven't opened with one line that explains the theme, such as: This is a film about a reluctant transexual superheroine; you haven't made it clear in the pitch that the Professor (a mad professor?) has caused the accident, and why, in disgrace and looking for revenge, he doesn't just kill Tony/Tina and make it look like another accident.
Characrers who discover, or are given special powers are by now a stock-in-trade of generations of poems, novels, operas, films and so on, from Achilles to Harry Potter; there is nothing wrong with making transexuality something special, as a plot device, but for this to work I think you need some angle that is different from what can be found in Harriet Potter or Jingle Unchained. Being given a trans-sexual identity as a form of punishment may be risky...but I can see how redeeming the concept by doing good could work -it all depends on the quality of the script, the structure of the story, and whether or not it would work as a film.

I am not dismissing your project, but I don't see mainstream cinema putting money into any film in which the main character is transexualised, unless it is a comedy along the lines of He's a girl! The Hangovers, or Oy Vay, my son is Gay! (which may actually be a good film, if it is full of stereotypes, sort of...)

2009 Film Trailer: Oy Vey! My Son Is Gay!! - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J84NoBwOCWU)

[GroobyKrissy]

As far as pitches go, you haven't opened with one line that explains the theme, such as: This is a film about a reluctant transexual superheroine; you haven't made it clear in the pitch that the Professor (a mad professor?) has caused the accident, and why, in disgrace and looking for revenge, he doesn't just kill Tony/Tina and make it look like another accident.
Characrers who discover, or are given special powers are by now a stock-in-trade of generations of poems, novels, operas, films and so on, from Achilles to Harry Potter; there is nothing wrong with making transexuality something special, as a plot device, but for this to work I think you need some angle that is different from what can be found in Harriet Potter or Jingle Unchained. Being given a trans-sexual identity as a form of punishment may be risky...but I can see how redeeming the concept by doing good could work -it all depends on the quality of the script, the structure of the story, and whether or not it would work as a film.

I am not dismissing your project, but I don't see mainstream cinema putting money into any film in which the main character is transexualised, unless it is a comedy along the lines of He's a girl! The Hangovers, or Oy Vay, my son is Gay! (which may actually be a good film, if it is full of stereotypes, sort of...)

2009 Film Trailer: Oy Vey! My Son Is Gay!! - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J84NoBwOCWU)

That film, Jingle Unchained was awesome!

[francisfkudrow]

OK, I have a better idea. Part of the consequences of the "bizarre lab accident" is that every time he uses his powers, he becomes slightly more feminine. He tries to cover it up as he uses his powers to resolve small crises, but then when a big crisis occurs, he is faced with the decision of whether to use his powers to a great degree to resolve the crisis, knowing that he'll be totally, irrevocably be a woman when it's over.

[Prospero]

Nice thought Mr Kudrow

[bluesoul]

I've actually read quite a bit of books on screenwriting, as well as two years of film school at UT austin, and hundreds of hours of youtube videos about both writing and filmmaking in general.

Also, none of you have actually read the script yet, you are all basing your comments on an extended summary, which leaves out many details of the story. I would prefer it if you guys actually gave it a shot and read it before you start telling me how it won't work or how I should post in on fictionmania or whatever. And there isn't a porn element in this story either, it's a superhero tale. And yes, the forced sex change is original because it has been rarely used in cinema and never used in superhero narratives. And the film is about transsexuals, the main character is a transsexual

so why didn't you just post the screenplay instead of refuting any criticism because we didn't have all the details? were you looking to hear something specific?

and if you've studied film and watched hours of videos online, how come the way you wrote your synopsis showed no evidence of this?

[bassman2546]

First: I didn't see any logline that grabbed my attention to read a properly written synopsis.

Second: I didn't see any properly written synopsis that made me want to read the script. If these two items aren't perfectly written you won't get ANYONE to read the script. They won't waste their time. Based on the feedback here, that will be a given with film industry professionals. This is a good thing because now you can fix all this before approaching any industry professional. And rule you probably know. No one will read unsolicited movie scripts. They will however read a logline and, if intrigued, will either ask for a 'one page' (synopsis) or the script itself.

Third: This script heads down the road of shock value, based on what I've read, and no reputable film company (and non-reputable for that matter) will touch it. They have a reputation to uphold. Your audience is small. Film companies want a script that will target a large audience.

Fourth: You've received some good information on here regarding the transgender community. I suggest you embrace it and do more research to tweak your script.

[GroobyKrissy]

I've actually read quite a bit of books on screenwriting, as well as two years of film school at UT austin, and hundreds of hours of youtube videos about both writing and filmmaking in general.

Also, none of you have actually read the script yet, you are all basing your comments on an extended summary, which leaves out many details of the story. I would prefer it if you guys actually gave it a shot and read it before you start telling me how it won't work or how I should post in on fictionmania or whatever. And there isn't a porn element in this story either, it's a superhero tale. And yes, the forced sex change is original because it has been rarely used in cinema and never used in superhero narratives. And the film is about transsexuals, the main character is a transsexual

Here is the problem... the film / dialogue as you have revealed it thus far is incorrect in the very basics of addressing the term, "Transsexual". That is my only problem. The rest is fiction and honestly... there is a wide degree of, and room for, artistic license in fiction.

I would have a problem introducing a superhero as "Transsexual" who has basically had it thrust upon him / her (by way of body modification) (and no pun intended). I think the vast majority of those who identify as TS would disagree with the very premise that you "become" Transsexual... for whatever reason. Your image propagates a myth that any person who is tired of their gender and wants to try something new (or has it forced upon them) falls into the "Transsexual" category, which is offensive, and simply not true.

If you think people are being harsh here, just wait until you actually have a more critical body of people (read: grumpy, old, academic Transsexuals) studying the final release. As it is, YOU asked for feedback (which includes criticism - constructive or otherwise), so I find it a bit surprising that your only response thus far has been basically to say, "Well, you all just don't understand what I'm trying to do here."

I think most everyone who has commented understands the premise but what you have demonstrated thus far, at least to me, is that you have not thought out your entire storyline adequately and / or researched your source material (premise) as thoroughly as you should have before asking for feedback.

Believe me, I'm not being harsh... but if someone asks for feedback, I take that as an honest request, expecting the good and the bad. I applaud you for wanting to create a Transsexual superhero... as it stands though, the community is ridiculed enough without yet one more incorrect stereotype trying to represent it. I am generally very supportive of artistic endeavors of any sort that involve the community but this has the markings of mockery; however it was intended originally.

[Prospero]

I WILL be harsh. if what you offered up so far arrived on my desk, I wouldn't read it beyond the first line or two. And I've been producing films for 25 years. Krissy is spot on with her remarks as are many others here. Back to the drawing board.

[BellaBellucci]

http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/threatlevel/2012/03/copyright-troll.jpg

~BB~

[Stavros]

Bella, honey, I don't think had in mind a Flintstones version of transexual superhero(ine)
...but who knows? How many serious life-changing dramas entered the Hollywood machine and came out as a comedy vehicle for Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston? Did anyone see The Player?