Well, I guess my life is over...

[Flaco]

I just fucked a tranny raw...

[Westheangelino]

Actually, your life has just begun! Giving or receiving?

[EvaCassini]

You gonna die? You know Trannies are monsters right...you fuck them and you get cursed like some Egyptian Mummy curse lol

[lifeisfiction]

The only question I have to ask, was it good then yea it was worth it, but it was meh. Sorry your only chance was wasted.

[Nikka]

hahahahahahaha

[amberskyi]

no shade some of you guys are so emo lmao

[EvaCassini]

hahaha

[Flaco]

Actually, your life has just begun! Giving or receiving?

It was giving, usually I start feeling demoralized after watching TS porn or after sex with a TS. But the last couple of times I've been with a TS sexually, I've started feeling like that during the sex. It's weird...When I think with my cock I want TS badly. When I think with my brain, I seriously don't want to do this. Usually, I go with how my cock feels smfh. Anyway, I was fucking this chick doggy and giving her backshots for quite some time. So we decided to switch it up, and she wanted to ride my cock. I let her get on top, and she rode me for a very long time. I was turned on mightily, but for some reason I still didn't come. So she took of the condom, and jerked me off for a bit. I still didn't come. Then she asked me if she could ride my dick again. I knew that she meant raw this time, but for some reason I just went along with it. I watched her mount me slowly, I had ample time to tell her to stop and grab another rubber. But I didn't. She rode me until I eventually pulled out and came on the side of her ass.

After I came, the usual thoughts of being gay, why do I continue to this etc all came flooding to my mind. But now it was multiplied by complete panic...did I seriously just fuck a Tranny raw?? I was super scared (And I'm still panicking now). I asked her after why the hell we just had sex raw when me and her both had plenty of condoms at our disposal. She told me that she had gotten tested 2 months ago, and that she was "clean". I'm highly skeptical, she was just too willing to fuck me raw for me to believe that. I guess it's time for me to get tested. I don't even know what to do if I have HIV, smh I guess that's what I deserve for being a fucking pervert. I have numerous genetic girls who are sexy as fuck who want relationships and yet I consistently pass up on them to pay tranny escorts for sex. I'm a very pathetic individual.

[amberskyi]

Why yes, yes you are

[Westheangelino]

Here's the deal dude:

Life is risky. About 30,000 people die in car wrecks in America every year. I enjoy driving. No one calls me crazy or sick for doing it. I also enjoy smoking a couple cigarettes a day. It may or may not give me cancer or other diseases. You weigh the risks. The fact of the matter is, while your behavior in this instance was "risky" compared to wearing a condom, the risk of you contracting HIV from this one encounter is still extremely low. Educate yourself and learn the statistics. You might already know them. However, the fact that you allow yourself to feel shame and guilt about fucking tgirls at all, only amplifies your fear and anxiety about HIV, making it more than simply caution, making it sheer irrationality. You really need to make some actual friends and connections in the community or perhaps a gay friend or two to realize that YOU ARE NOT SICK IN THE HEAD. I stopped trying to analyze my sexuality a long time ago. Basically, I like to date and fuck GG's, I like to get fucked and not date hung Tgirls, and once in a very long while get turned by but will not even think of actually fucking a huge hung scary dude. I enjoy myself. I sometimes get barebacked by Tgirls. I get tested very regularly and nearly all of my unprotected encounters have been with porn star girls who also get regularly tested and still work. It's a risk, but I take it. Your behavior is not nearly as risky as mine. Do yourself a favor and allow yourself to be yourself. Your truth will find it's way out anyways, so it might as well be on your own terms. Go and get tested! You are in NYC? I'm in L.A. and go get tested at the Hollywood GLBT center for free, which includes a free NAAT test, which can detect HIV virus in as little as ten days. Wait twenty days! Then go find a similar clinic in NYC. I'm sure there is one.

Oh....and love yourself!

[MacShreach]

Get tested. Your practice was right at the low end risk (of a high risk activity) so I would not go panicking or think the worst. The chances are you're fine.

"After I came, the usual thoughts of being gay, why do I continue to this etc"

Actually I think this clear evidence of self-loathing is much more worrying and you need to address that. It's possible that your behaviour is self-destructive and no good will come of that in the long term. Just because you have a self-destructive streak doesn't mean you should inflict it on your partners.

[fred41]

... Wait twenty days! Then go find a similar clinic in NYC. I'm sure there is one.



Get tested. Your practice was right at the low end risk (of a high risk activity) so I would not go panicking or think the worst. The chances are you're fine.


You can go to one of these ( I've often used the one in Corona...it's free, it's easy...and if you are worried about this - it's anonymous.):
http://www.nyc.gov/html/doh/html/living/std-clinics.shtml

[RyderMonroe]

hahahaha

[tsadriana]

It was giving, usually I start feeling demoralized after watching TS porn or after sex with a TS. But the last couple of times I've been with a TS sexually, I've started feeling like that during the sex. It's weird...When I think with my cock I want TS badly. When I think with my brain, I seriously don't want to do this. Usually, I go with how my cock feels smfh. Anyway, I was fucking this chick doggy and giving her backshots for quite some time. So we decided to switch it up, and she wanted to ride my cock. I let her get on top, and she rode me for a very long time. I was turned on mightily, but for some reason I still didn't come. So she took of the condom, and jerked me off for a bit. I still didn't come. Then she asked me if she could ride my dick again. I knew that she meant raw this time, but for some reason I just went along with it. I watched her mount me slowly, I had ample time to tell her to stop and grab another rubber. But I didn't. She rode me until I eventually pulled out and came on the side of her ass.

After I came, the usual thoughts of being gay, why do I continue to this etc all came flooding to my mind. But now it was multiplied by complete panic...did I seriously just fuck a Tranny raw?? I was super scared (And I'm still panicking now). I asked her after why the hell we just had sex raw when me and her both had plenty of condoms at our disposal. She told me that she had gotten tested 2 months ago, and that she was "clean". I'm highly skeptical, she was just too willing to fuck me raw for me to believe that. I guess it's time for me to get tested. I don't even know what to do if I have HIV, smh I guess that's what I deserve for being a fucking pervert. I have numerous genetic girls who are sexy as fuck who want relationships and yet I consistently pass up on them to pay tranny escorts for sex. I'm a very pathetic individual.
Just dont get in panic or paranoid thinking that u might have HIV....stay optimist go and get tested and next time make sure u dont do it raw anymore.....Enjoy ur life and this is ur good lection for the future to use rubber no matter what.

[betts]

http://images.andyouknowthis.net/enjoy_your_aids.jpg

[up_for_it]

Whats up with all the self-loathing? Also, I think it's kinda fucked up you are associating all these negative feelings with TS women. The outcome wouldn't have been any different than if you boned a GG in the ass raw. Only, given by your previous comments, it seems like you wouldn't have thought twice about the risks of that unless maybe she was a prostitute.

Seems like you need a moment to take stock of who you are and where you're at. Anyways, I don't see this as being the girl's fault @ all, and it's pretty lame to post this on a TS forum, have some respect for these ladies. If you want to associate them with disease, perversion, or whatever other fucked up stereotypes, take it elsewhere.

Good luck with your testing- I hope it all turns out ok for you.

[LibertyHarkness]

because every person that has bareback sex is going to get HIV right lol ..some people really , just go get tested if it is playing on your mind .

[amberskyi]

Whats up with all the self-loathing? Also, I think it's kinda fucked up you are associating all these negative feelings with TS women. The outcome wouldn't have been any different than if you boned a GG in the ass raw. Only, given by your previous comments, it seems like you wouldn't have thought twice about the risks of that unless maybe she was a prostitute.

Seems like you need a moment to take stock of who you are and where you're at. Anyways, I don't see this as being the girl's fault @ all, and it's pretty lame to post this on a TS forum, have some respect for these ladies. If you want to associate them with disease, perversion, or whatever other fucked up stereotypes, take it elsewhere.

Good luck with your testing- I hope it all turns out ok for you.

Thanks you so much babe for saying this.i really was like wtf, does this dude really expect to get sympathy from us smh

[MacShreach]

Thanks you so much babe for saying this.i really was like wtf, does this dude really expect to get sympathy from us smh


None of my damn business girl but I would advise any transwoman to steer very well clear of any man who is racked by self-doubt and, in this case, obvious self-loathing, just by being intimate with another human being. Unfortunately I think transwomen are often a target for men with some major issus that they really should spend time resolving before they export them onto others. I'm not saying they're bad people, just, mmmm, fucked in the head a bit.

Of course you know that cause you are smart and level headed. :D

[up_for_it]

Thanks you so much babe for saying this.i really was like wtf, does this dude really expect to get sympathy from us smh

Hey, no problem Amber- you ladies deserve respect!

[amberskyi]

None of my damn business girl but I would advise any transwoman to steer very well clear of any man who is racked by self-doubt and, in this case, obvious self-loathing, just by being intimate with another human being. Unfortunately I think transwomen are often a target for men with some major issus that they really should spend time resolving before they export them onto others. I'm not saying they're bad people, just, mmmm, fucked in the head a bit.

Of course you know that cause you are smart and level headed. :D

Oh trust most ts woman learn to spot these types after getting a little bit of experience and will avoid such men like the plague (unless it's business of course).it's usually the younger girls who are just starting out that encounter these types and really get hurt.
I understand that for allot of guys there is a questioning, confused, "coming out" period but one really shouldn't forget that these woman that have you feeling all confused are still human beings.no one wants to hear how disgusted and shameful they make you feel.to be honest if your that disgusted by what you do than fucking stop or gain the balls to live your life how you see fit.

[hippifried]

I don't think you're so much worried about rubbers as you are about a rubber room.

[Tosser]

Here's the deal dude:

Life is risky. About 30,000 people die in car wrecks in America every year. I enjoy driving. No one calls me crazy or sick for doing it. I also enjoy smoking a couple cigarettes a day. It may or may not give me cancer or other diseases. You weigh the risks. The fact of the matter is, while your behavior in this instance was "risky" compared to wearing a condom, the risk of you contracting HIV from this one encounter is still extremely low. Educate yourself and learn the statistics. You might already know them. However, the fact that you allow yourself to feel shame and guilt about fucking tgirls at all, only amplifies your fear and anxiety about HIV, making it more than simply caution, making it sheer irrationality. You really need to make some actual friends and connections in the community or perhaps a gay friend or two to realize that YOU ARE NOT SICK IN THE HEAD. I stopped trying to analyze my sexuality a long time ago. Basically, I like to date and fuck GG's, I like to get fucked and not date hung Tgirls, and once in a very long while get turned by but will not even think of actually fucking a huge hung scary dude. I enjoy myself. I sometimes get barebacked by Tgirls. I get tested very regularly and nearly all of my unprotected encounters have been with porn star girls who also get regularly tested and still work. It's a risk, but I take it. Your behavior is not nearly as risky as mine. Do yourself a favor and allow yourself to be yourself. Your truth will find it's way out anyways, so it might as well be on your own terms. Go and get tested! You are in NYC? I'm in L.A. and go get tested at the Hollywood GLBT center for free, which includes a free NAAT test, which can detect HIV virus in as little as ten days. Wait twenty days! Then go find a similar clinic in NYC. I'm sure there is one.

Oh....and love yourself!

Love yourself?
The kind of behavior outlined in this quote shows self love??
Self destructive more likely
You need to wait 90 days.
Period
I get annoyed hearing about people who routinely bareback.
Saying that because they're "porn stars" makes it safer.....Never heard of TS pornstars dying of AIDS?
No?
Google it
The HIV scourge will continue until EVERONE uses condoms.
ALWAYS!
The only way to be sure is to both be tested after 90 days of safe sex.
Both negative?
Bareback all you want.
BUT ONLY WITH EACH OTHER.
The ignorance regarding HIV and taking chances, spreading the disease ( you are HIGHLY infectious at first infection, but showing negative on an HIV test) is really depressing.
I wish people would be responsible and not rationalize risky, proven dangerous behavior.
I don't wish harm on anyone.
I wish people would protect themselves and others.
As for dealing with internal conflicts regarding sexuality, everyone has their own road to follow and there isn't a one size fits all solution.

[Westheangelino]

Love yourself?
The kind of behavior outlined in this quote shows self love??
Self destructive more likely
You need to wait 90 days.
Period
I get annoyed hearing about people who routinely bareback.
Saying that because they're "porn stars" makes it safer.....Never heard of TS pornstars dying of AIDS?
No?
Google it
The HIV scourge will continue until EVERONE uses condoms.
ALWAYS!
The only way to be sure is to both be tested after 90 days of safe sex.
Both negative?
Bareback all you want.
BUT ONLY WITH EACH OTHER.
The ignorance regarding HIV and taking chances, spreading the disease ( you are HIGHLY infectious at first infection, but showing negative on an HIV test) is really depressing.
I wish people would be responsible and not rationalize risky, proven dangerous behavior.
I don't wish harm on anyone.
I wish people would protect themselves and others.
As for dealing with internal conflicts regarding sexuality, everyone has their own road to follow and there isn't a one size fits all solution.

This is one of the more naive posts I've seen. It's YOU who have no idea what you are talking about regarding testing. 90 days? This isn't the 90's anymore, dude. Tests that only detect antibodies to the virus have been surpassed by tests that actually detect the virus itself.

Also, wait 90 days and then only bareback each other??? If you knew anything about the spread of HIV you would realize that one of the main vectors for HIV is one partner being positive in a "monogamous" relationship and the other not knowing and thus being exposed many many many times. Why do you think black women are at such high risk and have much higher rates of HIV than white women? One reason is the down low. Black men are not the only ones in the closet, of course, but no one can deny that the stigma of being gay is larger in the black community. Which brings me back to something I said before and hinted at in my previous reply: THE CLOSET KILLS. When you hide your true self and desires it will almost certainly lead to stuff that severely affects your life in other ways.

[sheyum]

wow
charged thread
and there ARE many ways to respond to a comment like that of the OP
but maybe we should cut him a bit of slack..

he fucked up--now he's scared..everyone doesnt use protection at SOME point..not just with t-girls but with GGs as well..
so we shouldnt totally judge..
sure--its not the SMARTEST thing to do..but

now we dont know who this girl was...was she a pro--or just a girl he met?
but in any case.....he's freaking out..

as far as the self--loathing things is concerned...yeah--he needs to get a grip for sure.....but just because he has alot of GGs at his disposal but is constantly drawn to Tgirls..isnt cause for him to fucking hate himslelf
he needs to deal with that for sure..and accept himself for who he his..
whats wrong with it?!

as far as the girls on the forum being insulted..well..
i dont think he meant to offend..hes just focusing on himself right now.
THEY shouldnt take it personally---its clearly his own issue...and doesnt really cast all Transgendered people as perverse or diseased...its just that The OP has conflicts he needs to deal with


so--EVERYONE needs to lighten up i think

and OP---better take a look inside and accept yourself for who you are....then--use some common sense safe sex practices!!

[amberskyi]

wow
charged thread
and there ARE many ways to respond to a comment like that of the OP
but maybe we should cut him a bit of slack..

he fucked up--now he's scared..everyone doesnt use protection at SOME point..not just with t-girls but with GGs as well..
so we shouldnt totally judge..
sure--its not the SMARTEST thing to do..but

now we dont know who this girl was...was she a pro--or just a girl he met?
but in any case.....he's freaking out..

as far as the self--loathing things is concerned...yeah--he needs to get a grip for sure.....but just because he has alot of GGs at his disposal but is constantly drawn to Tgirls..isnt cause for him to fucking hate himslelf
he needs to deal with that for sure..and accept himself for who he his..
whats wrong with it?!

as far as the girls on the forum being insulted..well..
i dont think he meant to offend..hes just focusing on himself right now.
THEY shouldnt take it personally---its clearly his own issue...and doesnt really cast all Transgendered people as perverse or diseased...its just that The OP has conflicts he needs to deal with


so--EVERYONE needs to lighten up i think

and OP---better take a look inside and accept yourself for who you are....then--use some common sense safe sex practices!!

So a group of people shouldn't take offense when some one talks about how disgusting and perverse said group of people are? Really? In what world?
Let's substitute the word tgirl for nigger and see how many people feel a certain way.even better let a girl write something similar but substitute the word tgirl for "trans admirer"and see how many of y'all start bitching lol

[Tosser]

90 days
plain and simple.
Self delusional people like you are spreading this disease.
When you are first infected, you are the highest viral load.
Plain and simple.
REAL science
Any internet search will show you the truth.
Try the US Center of Disease control site...or any number of other govt sites.
Take control and stop deluding yourself and others.
Take control of your sexual health .
Have respect for the sexual health of you partners.
I wont respond to anymore posts on this so don't bother with another self delusional exercise in self denial.
I truly hope all is well with you and chances are it is.
Take heart from that and protect yourself going forward.
peace out

[nysprod]

So a group of people shouldn't take offense when some one talks about how disgusting and perverse said group of people are? Really? In what world?
Let's substitute the word tgirl for nigger and see how many people feel a certain way.even better let a girl write something similar but substitute the word tgirl for "trans admirer"and see how many of y'all start bitching lol

Ok, I can see where you're coming from however, I thought you might be "bigger" than this.

The guy is freaking out because he's now at high risk of being HIV+...he's obviously very angry with himself for being so stupid and careless...so don't take what he said in his self-loathing diatribe personally.

Few of us are gonna be thinking clearly when we're panicking, so cut him some slack.

[Corran]

Dude..I barebacked a gg last. Is my life over too?
Same principal applies...unprotected sex.

[Westheangelino]

90 days
plain and simple.
Self delusional people like you are spreading this disease.
When you are first infected, you are the highest viral load.
Plain and simple.
REAL science
Any internet search will show you the truth.
Try the US Center of Disease control site...or any number of other govt sites.
Take control and stop deluding yourself and others.
Take control of your sexual health .
Have respect for the sexual health of you partners.
I wont respond to anymore posts on this so don't bother with another self delusional exercise in self denial.
I truly hope all is well with you and chances are it is.
Take heart from that and protect yourself going forward.
peace out


Well, then I guess I should sue the GLBT center here in L.A. and all the other clinics across the country that tell their patients they are negative after running NAAT/PCR tests. Guess they're all in it together and want to spread a plague.

[amberskyi]

Ok, I can see where you're coming from however, I thought you might be "bigger" than this.

The guy is freaking out because he's now at high risk of being HIV+...he's obviously very angry with himself for being so stupid and careless...so don't take what he said in his self-loathing diatribe personally.

Few of us are gonna be thinking clearly when we're panicking, so cut him some slack.

Actually the girl is more at risk than he is.i wonder if she's freaking out talking about how disgusting and perverse men are to other men lol.
Any way this isn't the ops first post along these lines.I'm sure the girls have enough people telling them that there's something wrong with them.who wants to come read it here from the very men that are supposed to "admire" them.
Also I'm not taking it personally per se because i know we're awesome and anyone who can't see that is the one with the issues.I'm just calling out bullshit when i see it.

[BiBoyinBeantown]

A ship is safe in port, but that's not what ships are for.

Yeah, you took a dumb risk. Happens to the best of us. Odds are pretty low you actually caught anything, but go get tested anyway. If you're having sex with escorts, or with random hookups, you should probably be getting tested regularly as it is.

And if you took what you think was an unacceptable risk, then don't do that again. Learn your lesson and stop beating yourself up over it.

Other than that, if you're really experiencing guilt or shame or self-loathing over wanting to have sex with transwomen...can't help you there, get to a therapist's office?

[Prince Dan Albert]

Since we are talking science here.... is the assumption actually true, that TS-escorts can be counted to be HIV+ ? In Europe or USA, I mean- talking bout Brazil or Africa even I am not THAT naive.
But I mean, nobody would naturally assume that a high class female escort in, say, Paris or Rome should be positive - so why does it go with T-Girls by default?

Its a real question, I dont want to irk someone or something!

[Tits McButts]

Since we are talking science here.... is the assumption actually true, that TS-escorts can be counted to be HIV+ ? In Europe or USA, I mean- talking bout Brazil or Africa even I am not THAT naive.
But I mean, nobody would naturally assume that a high class female escort in, say, Paris or Rome should be positive - so why does it go with T-Girls by default?

Its a real question, I dont want to irk someone or something!

Getting an STD from hittin' it raw is always a moderate risk. Bareback with an escort is even riskier. Outside of the 'long' in a longterm relationship, it's a commonly accepted bad idea.

You asked why HIV is specifically associated with trans providers. HIV and AIDS have been associated with gay culture since the 1980's and likely by some misassociation, trans culture as well. I imagine that much of it is in Flaco's head, though. Anyone who recoils in guilt or shame after a session is just confused; a few apples short of a bushel, perhaps.

Up_For_It, Amber, and Westheangelino are all spot-on. I can't say anything they haven't. Flaco's a bonafide dumb ass.

[dc_guy_75]

Even if the OP did get HIV, drugs would allow him to have an average lifespan (think Magic Johnson).

I would presume there are many, many worse things in life than hearing you have HIV (brain tumor, pancreatic or lung cancer etc)

As for being consumed by guilt, I guess he's simply ashamed of his feelings, which will likely diminish with age.

[Prince Dan Albert]

Getting an STD from hittin' it raw is always a moderate risk. Bareback with an escort is even riskier. Outside of the 'long' in a longterm relationship, it's a commonly accepted bad idea.

You asked why HIV is specifically associated with trans providers. HIV and AIDS have been associated with gay culture since the 1980's and likely by some misassociation, trans culture as well. I imagine that much of it is in Flaco's head, though. Anyone who recoils in guilt or shame after a session is just confused; a few apples short of a bushel, perhaps.

Up_For_It, Amber, and Westheangelino are all spot-on. I can't say anything they haven't. Flaco's a bonafide dumb ass.
thanks for the reply!

[danthepoetman]

I've been feeling like my life is over since 14, or something like that. Man, the fun part is beggining...

[Tits McButts]

I've been feeling like my life is over since 14, or something like that. Man, the fun part is beggining...

Wow; your avatar pic sucks dude.

[danthepoetman]

Wow; your avatar pic sucks dude.

And yours is great, Mr Butt...

[Prospero]

I like Dan's avatar - twas, as I recall, the work of another member here who now seldom posts. Too stoned I suspect.

[danthepoetman]

Yes. It was Grim's work. So talented!
Hey! Prospero, I've been away a few months and there's about half the people I knew gone! It's terrible! Where is everybody?

[Prospero]

Revolving doors....

[MacShreach]

I've been away a few months and there's about half the people I knew gone! It's terrible! Where is everybody?
Shadow of its former self, man.

[Tits McButts]

Yes. It was Grim's work. So talented!
Hey! Prospero, I've been away a few months and there's about half the people I knew gone! It's terrible! Where is everybody?

Your avatar doesn't suck, Dan. I know who made it. Same guy who made mine. Seemed coincidental, that's all.

[fred41]

Your avatar doesn't suck, Dan. I know who made it. Same guy who made mine. Seemed coincidental, that's all.

So why the name change?

[Flaco]

I still haven't gotten tested yet, I plan on going on Wednesday. I've been talking to a new chick and I can tell she's interested in me. She's a shy, cute chick and the thought of this young chick catching an STD from me seriously fucks with me. God forbid. Anyway, I've had some time to do some thinking. I realize most of the time I've had sexual experiences with TS, I don't really enjoy the actual sexual act. There's a certain thrill I get from it though, a certain rush I can't describe. The sex usually feels unnatural for me but I needed that rush, so I just kept on doing it. If I have an STD from this, I really will never forgive myself. The sex wasn't even good so I don't know why I put myself in this position, it's weird whenever I go see a TS it's like I'm not even in control anymore. I just find myself going to the escort's place, doing the deed, and then wondering what the fuck just happened afterwards. I've pretty much fallen into a depression these past few weeks. I'm scared, frustrated, angry at myself. If I have HIV I have no one to blame but myself. What hurts the most is that I've always wanted to have kids and a wife and this would take that all away. I'm filled with regret and I think I need some alcohol...

[nysprod]

I still haven't gotten tested yet, I plan on going on Wednesday. I've been talking to a new chick and I can tell she's interested in me. She's a shy, cute chick and the thought of this young chick catching an STD from me seriously fucks with me. God forbid. Anyway, I've had some time to do some thinking. I realize most of the time I've had sexual experiences with TS, I don't really enjoy the actual sexual act. There's a certain thrill I get from it though, a certain rush I can't describe. The sex usually feels unnatural for me but I needed that rush, so I just kept on doing it. If I have an STD from this, I really will never forgive myself. The sex wasn't even good so I don't know why I put myself in this position, it's weird whenever I go see a TS it's like I'm not even in control anymore. I just find myself going to the escort's place, doing the deed, and then wondering what the fuck just happened afterwards. I've pretty much fallen into a depression these past few weeks. I'm scared, frustrated, angry at myself. If I have HIV I have no one to blame but myself. What hurts the most is that I've always wanted to have kids and a wife and this would take that all away. I'm filled with regret and I think I need some alcohol...

Dude, you gotta chill and go get tested...you're just punishing yourself by leaving things in limbo.

[amberskyi]

You need Jesus and a whole lot of therapy

[ed_jaxon]

Lemme step in here.

Don't wanna hit the free clinic? Go to Walgreens and get an HIV test. You might feel weird in the check our line (grab a paper to cover up the box) but the feeling of relief after you get the all clear is more than worth it.

Then feeling that confidence that you are cool, hit the free clinic and get tested for everything else. When walking out, grab a bunch of condoms and you are golden.

[mac.B]

I still haven't gotten tested yet, I plan on going on Wednesday. I've been talking to a new chick and I can tell she's interested in me. She's a shy, cute chick and the thought of this young chick catching an STD from me seriously fucks with me. God forbid. Anyway, I've had some time to do some thinking. I realize most of the time I've had sexual experiences with TS, I don't really enjoy the actual sexual act. There's a certain thrill I get from it though, a certain rush I can't describe. The sex usually feels unnatural for me but I needed that rush, so I just kept on doing it. If I have an STD from this, I really will never forgive myself. The sex wasn't even good so I don't know why I put myself in this position, it's weird whenever I go see a TS it's like I'm not even in control anymore. I just find myself going to the escort's place, doing the deed, and then wondering what the fuck just happened afterwards. I've pretty much fallen into a depression these past few weeks. I'm scared, frustrated, angry at myself. If I have HIV I have no one to blame but myself. What hurts the most is that I've always wanted to have kids and a wife and this would take that all away. I'm filled with regret and I think I need some alcohol...

Kinda sounds like me when I first started. It does suck feeling that way not just because youve done something wrong but b/c youve involved someone in your pain who not only is dealing with their own internal issues, but is someone who was paid to be penetrated aggressivley, paid to be sprayed with cum but was treated like a sort of pariah when the deed was done. You have no idea the psychological damage that can do to someone. Most of these chicks dont even want to be escorts. You look down on TS girls and you probably need to find out why. I understand the depression although I think its b/c you lack the self control to get away from a lifestyle that you have very low opinions about. When you learn how to develop your self control then the depression will stop. As far as the tgirls go, maybe you need to do some soul searching and find out why you like them in the first place, then figure out why you are not able to see these girls as human beings.

Like I said I've been where you are and I hated it. I had to ask myself the right questions and I had to find the answers for myself. No one can do that for you. No one should be able convince you that being with trannies is ok. Its ok for me b/c I had took the time to understand certain things about them and how those things related to my personal being and who I want to become.

Trannies go through a lot bro, almost as much as black people. The transition is actually life threatening for a lot of girls and they never make it past a certain point. Its like a sort of gauntlet where only a few make it throug. Some girls detransition for family/social reasons, some girls stay feminie gay men and become bitter to those who have transitioned. Some girls kill themselves. Some girls go to far with surgeries. Some girls do transition successfully but succumb to the pressures of the tgirl life. Some girls make it through and live happy well adjusted lives with mates.

Bottom line is I had to find answers. And what I found was that it takes a very strong person to go through all of the surgery, unsupported domestic lives, hrt, being in the wrong body and getting the money to correct that, becoming a TS and being ostracized for it, being part of a small community in which there is hardly any unity and just finding mates who dont suffer from any self hate b/c of their attraction, to them!!! Its a really hard process and I understand and respect anyone who does what it is that they have to do to become the person who they want to be. I guess I'm a tranny admirer in every sense of the phrase:shrug

[Flaco]

You need Jesus and a whole lot of therapy

You're right, I've realized how much I've strayed from God. I need to pray for Forgiveness and strength.

[RyderMonroe]

you're very strange. please seek professional help.

[Rusty Eldora]

You need Jesus and a whole lot of therapy

Or you really need Therapy and a whole lot of Jesus.


You could solve all this worry by getting tested.

[amberskyi]

My allegiance is with the dark lord bwahaha

[amberskyi]

Kinda sounds like me when I first started. It does suck feeling that way not just because youve done something wrong but b/c youve involved someone in your pain who not only is dealing with their own internal issues, but is someone who was paid to be penetrated aggressivley, paid to be sprayed with cum but was treated like a sort of pariah when the deed was done. You have no idea the psychological damage that can do to someone. Most of these chicks dont even want to be escorts. You look down on TS girls and you probably need to find out why. I understand the depression although I think its b/c you lack the self control to get away from a lifestyle that you have very low opinions about. When you learn how to develop your self control then the depression will stop. As far as the tgirls go, maybe you need to do some soul searching and find out why you like them in the first place, then figure out why you are not able to see these girls as human beings.

Like I said I've been where you are and I hated it. I had to ask myself the right questions and I had to find the answers for myself. No one can do that for you. No one should be able convince you that being with trannies is ok. Its ok for me b/c I had took the time to understand certain things about them and how those things related to my personal being and who I want to become.

Trannies go through a lot bro, almost as much as black people. The transition is actually life threatening for a lot of girls and they never make it past a certain point. Its like a sort of gauntlet where only a few make it throug. Some girls detransition for family/social reasons, some girls stay feminie gay men and become bitter to those who have transitioned. Some girls kill themselves. Some girls go to far with surgeries. Some girls do transition successfully but succumb to the pressures of the tgirl life. Some girls make it through and live happy well adjusted lives with mates.

Bottom line is I had to find answers. And what I found was that it takes a very strong person to go through all of the surgery, unsupported domestic lives, hrt, being in the wrong body and getting the money to correct that, becoming a TS and being ostracized for it, being part of a small community in which there is hardly any unity and just finding mates who dont suffer from any self hate b/c of their attraction, to them!!! Its a really hard process and I understand and respect anyone who does what it is that they have to do to become the person who they want to be. I guess I'm a tranny admirer in every sense of the phrase:shrug

Surprisingly very thoughtful...now if we can just get you to call us trans woman instead of trannies lol...your alright homie

[fred41]

Get tested...get it over with. You'll be fine.
The real horror comes when you turn 50 and you go for your first Colonoscopy...that sucks.:)



...good luck Wednesday.

[mac.B]

Surprisingly very thoughtful...now if we can just get you to call us trans woman instead of trannies lol...your alright homie


Well I'll take the backhanded compliment. As for that word...fuck that! I love the transies...

[amberskyi]

Well I'll take the backhanded compliment. As for that word...fuck that! I love the transies...

My bad, didn't mean for it to be back handed.i was sincere

[danthepoetman]

Flaco, my friend, I remember how you struggled with the feelings you had on the whole thing –what? something like- a year ago, if memory serves. You’re just feeling guilty, Flaco. You have to take some distance from it all. Just take a good, salutary break from it all. First, the chances that you caught a std as “difficult” to catch as aids by being rode and coming into the girl is very, very slim. Don’t get me wrong, I think we should all always wear a condom when we have sex. But the chances in this precise occurrence, performing this precise, brief act, are very slim. Go get tested, it’s always nice to know for sure and be safe, but calm down: your extreme anxiety is simply caused by the guilt you’re feeling. You are simply punishing yourself, more or less unconsciously.
Start by taking a real break from it all, several weeks without any ts porn and any escort, and even any sex at all if it’s necessary –and of course, if you have the fortitude. But take some distance. Then, find something to occupy your mind. Throw yourself in an activity you like and stop thinking about any of this for a while. Go away, if you can, go visit some friend or some family in another city, be it only for a couple of days or a week.
The values we are taught when we’re little are sometimes so strong they’re embedded in our flesh; no matter how much we can rationalize, we still feel their grip on us, as if a rope had been tied to our neck and was strangling us every time we went in the direction of our legitimate desires.
Whenever you feel such guilt mounting in you, just break it off for a while, just stop and take distance. Such guilt can’t be fought and you’re just going to drain yourself trying. Take distance, relax, reflect on this all and stop banging on yourself. None of your desires are illegitimate, nothing of what you have done is different from what everybody is doing at one time or another. Believe it.
One more thing, Flaco. If there is a God, he certainly didn’t put you on this earth to torture you. You didn’t do ANYTHING that’s worth hurting yourself emotionally the way you do now and God is certainly not in on it either.

(I must admit I didn’t read all the posts in this thread. Many good people have intervened here and I’m sure many have given you very sound advices. If I’m repeating what they said, I apologize to them and to you).

[mac.B]

My bad, didn't mean for it to be back handed.i was sincere


Its all in fun goddess:)

[whiteitalianchocolate36]

why yes, yes you are

Lmao

[Idt20082008"]

Dude, ill jump on the bandwagon and reiterate that you really need to just relax, get tested, and wrap it next time you are with anyone. But you did say something that jumped out at me - you said you have "strayed from God and need to pray for forgiveness and strength", and I fail to see what you need to be forgiven for. Here it is in a nutshell - you are attracted to Trans Women, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this! They are beautiful, intelligent people who are just as sexy as any GG, and often times more so. You are getting hung up on old, antiquated notions of who should be attracted to who. Further, the very God (if you believe in God and Im assuming you do)who you want forgiveness from is the same God who had a hand in making you wo you are. Embrace who you are, and not only will you be much happier, you will be able to appreciate Trans Women for who they are

[MacShreach]

Dude, ill jump on the bandwagon and reiterate that you really need to just relax, get tested, and wrap it next time you are with anyone. But you did say something that jumped out at me - you said you have "strayed from God and need to pray for forgiveness and strength", and I fail to see what you need to be forgiven for. Here it is in a nutshell - you are attracted to Trans Women, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this! They are beautiful, intelligent people who are just as sexy as any GG, and often times more so. You are getting hung up on old, antiquated notions of who should be attracted to who. Further, the very God (if you believe in God and Im assuming you do)who you want forgiveness from is the same God who had a hand in making you wo you are. Embrace who you are, and not only will you be much happier, you will be able to appreciate Trans Women for who they are
1.) Funny, I thought that was in the way of an ironic witticism.

2.) Why do you assume that?

[Tiffany Starr]

Dude I do this all the time. I don't see the big deal. I practically have them thrown at me. i love my TS girls :-D

[Idt20082008"]

1.) Funny, I thought that was in the way of an ironic witticism.

2.) Why do you assume that?

Only because he said he "strayed from God" and needs to "pray for forgiveness" - as I said an assumption but seems logical

[runround04]

Enjoyr your aids or shame or whatever it is your talking about.

[Ryz]

It was giving, usually I start feeling demoralized after watching TS porn or after sex with a TS. But the last couple of times I've been with a TS sexually, I've started feeling like that during the sex. It's weird...When I think with my cock I want TS badly. When I think with my brain, I seriously don't want to do this. Usually, I go with how my cock feels smfh. Anyway, I was fucking this chick doggy and giving her backshots for quite some time. So we decided to switch it up, and she wanted to ride my cock. I let her get on top, and she rode me for a very long time. I was turned on mightily, but for some reason I still didn't come. So she took of the condom, and jerked me off for a bit. I still didn't come. Then she asked me if she could ride my dick again. I knew that she meant raw this time, but for some reason I just went along with it. I watched her mount me slowly, I had ample time to tell her to stop and grab another rubber. But I didn't. She rode me until I eventually pulled out and came on the side of her ass.

After I came, the usual thoughts of being gay, why do I continue to this etc all came flooding to my mind. But now it was multiplied by complete panic...did I seriously just fuck a Tranny raw?? I was super scared (And I'm still panicking now). I asked her after why the hell we just had sex raw when me and her both had plenty of condoms at our disposal. She told me that she had gotten tested 2 months ago, and that she was "clean". I'm highly skeptical, she was just too willing to fuck me raw for me to believe that. I guess it's time for me to get tested. I don't even know what to do if I have HIV, smh I guess that's what I deserve for being a fucking pervert. I have numerous genetic girls who are sexy as fuck who want relationships and yet I consistently pass up on them to pay tranny escorts for sex. I'm a very pathetic individual.
https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTUddqRma_29sc5y2RGQoZMPPnJcfle1 BhVIev9ceOMtN7zr282

[Flaco]

Hey everyone, I'm back and I got checked out and I'm perfectly fine. I'm going to get checked out again sometime next month and hopefully that goes well also. I'm sorry if I offended anyone in this thread, it's just this lifestyle is hard for me at times. I love how Amberskyi ran in the thread and acted like I said anything about her or anyone else, anyway I already know what to expect from her...I hope everyone's doing okay though.