Decency, politeness and cyberbullying

[Prospero]

There are some regulars on here who seem to get a kick out of being offensive and provocative in the meanest of ways. Some of these same people love to indulge in cyber bullying. One girl who is starting out in her transition came on here recently to ask a question. Since then she has been parodied and picked on. The people who are the prime movers in this know who they are - and one is unrepentantly offensive.

There are some guys who think it's a blast to be rude to the girls generally and some girls who show nothing but contempt for guys here who like and respect them.

A general plea really. Love the rough and tumble and real humour. Love the outrageousness. But those who go out of their way just to hurt and offend should curb it. Many nice girls have been driven away because of the bullying. What do the mean spirited achieve by this?

[Bribi]

Nothing particular, just the way internet works today.

We used to be able to talk on internet and actually have fun. I remember those days on forums where we were talking, just talking. On chats also.
Today, it's all about provocation, hating, cyber warriors,...

I hate this internet.

[GroobySteven]

There are some regulars on here who seem to get a kick out of being offensive and provocative in the meanest of ways. Some of these same people love to indulge in cyber bullying. One girl who is starting out in her transition came on here recently to ask a question. Since then she has been parodied and picked on. The people who are the prime movers in this know who they are - and one is unrepentantly offensive.

There are some guys who think it's a blast to be rude to the girls generally and some girls who show nothing but contempt for guys here who like and respect them.

A general plea really. Love the rough and tumble and real humour. Love the outrageousness. But those who go out of their way just to hurt and offend should curb it. Many nice girls have been driven away because of the bullying. What do the mean spirited achieve by this?

Many of the "nice girls" turned out to be not so nice, and drove themselves away. I'm all for mutual respect and if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it - but on the other hand, I'm for calling out bullshit also. There are at least 3-4 people on here, including one recent girl whom until I see more, are hanging in the "could be troll" box.

I've used offensiveness and provocation to market and promote for years and as long as it's not directed at an individual (or is relevant) then I'd rather have it than a homogenisation of political correctness. Some of the things I've seen reported as offensive or racist (going both/all ways) clearly aren't but are honest if somewhat distasteful. Again, I'd rather have that, than skirting around the facts in order to remain politically correct.

[Prospero]

Phew... I'm not politically correct. Just don't like to see bullying.

[GroobySteven]

Phew... I'm not politically correct. Just don't like to see bullying.

Neither do I. It's one of my main hates - but calling someone out based on their minority isn't necessarily bullying.

[TempestTS]

The internet basically allows some people to never leave Junior High... They are mean, petty, hateful and often ignorant in the harm they cause to others and in this case to the scene and trans individuals in general.

No matter how pretty you may be on the outside, if you are Ugly on the inside people will learn to see through your mask and sooner or later nobody wants you around.

Good manners don't cost a damn thing - there is no excuse for not having them.

[amberskyi]

Neither do I. It's one of my main hates - but calling someone out based on their minority isn't necessarily bullying.

I beg to differ.when i come on here and see the disparaging remarks that are occasionally made about black ts woman do you think that makes me feel good? or being called fat after i choose to share a recent shoot? Or having to read some of the idiotic and insulting notions guys have about what it means to be trans?
There are some cool people on this board (a few i have the pleasure of meeting in real life) but more often than not i leave here angry and discouraged these days.

[GroobySteven]

I beg to differ

Then you can keep begging.

Let's look at a religion which promotes that their followers don't use condoms - yet AIDS is spreading like wildfire throughout their followers. I'm going to call them out as idiots and tell them to start promoting safe sex.

How about a religion which doesn't allow a child to have a simple life-saving procedure. That religion and the people who follow it - and are willing to let their child die in the name of their religion, certainly deserve to be called out.

How about the NAMBLA? A minority but legal group in the USA - do you not feeling like calling them for the pieces of shit they are?

[giovanni_hotel]

Neither do I. It's one of my main hates - but calling someone out based on their minority isn't necessarily bullying.

Maybe I'm missing what you're saying.
I know you have nearly a zero tolerance for racial/ethnic derogatory language.
You talking about gay slurs????

[GroobySteven]

Maybe I'm missing what you're saying.
I know you have nearly a zero tolerance for racial/ethnic derogatory language.
You talking about gay slurs????

I have a zero tolerance depending on how the word is used. Simply, typing a word isn't enough, if it's in context.

[TempestTS]

I have a zero tolerance depending on how the word is used. Simply, typing a word isn't enough, if it's in context.

This makes sense... words are only blots of ink on paper, waves of sound in the air or pixels on a screen. Its "HOW" they are used that needs to be weighed.

If you are looking for it you can find offense in just about anything to start a witch hunt over but that shouldnt mean that the rest of the world has to walk on glass trying to be politically correct just to avoid even the most minimal chance of offending someone.

It can be just as bad to look for reasons to be offended as it can be to look for ways to cause offense. The world moves, the pendulum must swing, we just need to watch out when it starts swinging too wide on either side of the arc because thats when things get all busted out of shape.

[GroobySteven]

Exactly what I'm trying to convey on this and the other thread Tempest. Thank you for putting it so succinctly.

[SheWantsTheD]

Many nice girls have been driven away because of the bullying. What do the mean spirited achieve by this?
It happens to guys aswell I'm sure. The worst thing is when the majority of posters in a thread get the knives out on somebody. It usually happens to the ones who are very frustrated about something and are venting. Everyone just rips into them.

Nothing particular, just the way internet works today.

:iagree:

[Prospero]

I realise i am walking precariously here for I can be easily sacked as a moderator or even banned for talking out of turn - but all i am arguing foris a degree of civility in how we deal with one another here and a refusal to allow our cloaks of relative or total anonymity to let us post nastiness of the sort we would never dream of doing face to face in the world "out there."

I am not easily offended for myself. Anyone can call me what they like. It's others i am sticking up for. That's all.

Seanchai - I have ever ever seen you use the kind of bullying, snideness or offensiveness that I've criticised in any of your promotions or commercial ventures. Outrageousness yes. That is a key part of what this site is about - and part of the life blood of the internet.

I am just arguing for civility amid all the combativeness.

[EvaCassini]

For words see video below!

As for certain posts...it seem very obvious ( on several levels ) that because of lack of credibility and the oddity of what certain people post in this forum, they really gives off that "troll-ish" feel.

TROLL ( Definition ) ( if not known prior ) - someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as a forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.

There's been a few "troll-like" posts/threads and with the continuity of these "troll-like" posts/threads, the doubt will consistently be there.


George Carlin - They are only WORDS! - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUvdXxhLPa8)

[Prospero]

And for something more thoughtful read my response in the other strand started by jamie, Eva....

[EvaCassini]

trust me, i have...this is in response to it all

[Prospero]

No u didn't because this was posted before my most recent post Eva....

"Eva - you surely referring to me and calling me a troll. I am not a troll and nor do i scour Jamie's posts any more than those of anyone else as a moderator who hates the use of hate language. Maybe I over reacted this time, but she was egregiously rude in response.

In my view the use of these words is obviously okay in certain contexts. By their own community - eg black people with the N word and wrong when applied to black people by others. The Fag(got) words can be very offensive. I believed she used it that way. Maybe I'm wrong. In my view being abusive to others doesn't make for an agreeable way of relating. That's all. The other correct context of these words is to use the what attacking those who use them abusively and in an intelligent discussion of hate speech. Of course cocksucker, motherfucker, cunt etc are commonly used words of abuse in the real world. But isn't this place really about fun. Not fighting? "

[EvaCassini]

just made my rebuttal.

[EvaCassini]

plus it's all still tied together....there are a few threads with the same damn conversation going on...wtf

[Jericho]

I'm thinking some people to need to grow some skin.
If cocksucking faggot's the worst thing i get called today, then I'm on a roll! :shrug

[Prospero]

You're a welsh sheepshagging Turkish armenian hating old git.

[Jericho]

You're a welsh sheepshagging Turkish armenian hating old git.


O!...NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Armenian & Welsh should be capitalized! :p

[Prospero]

true ... i am illiterate insulter

[Jericho]

Get me Sister Wendys' autograph, we'll call it quits! :shrug

[Prospero]

Ah... sadly the lady spends all her time on her knees these days. No time to sign anything.

[Jericho]

Well...Fair play...Sounds like a game old bird! :hide-1:

[Prospero]

She'd beat you with her rosary anytime you want a right holy rough experience....
Make an act of contrition and say 12 hail marys while she rogers you with a crucifix.