To the girls here:

[sweetts18]

What do you do, and how do you handle the nihilistic desire to do whatever it takes to overcome the pain and self-hate? ...I'm a part-timer that's ALWAYS wanted to go full time, but I don't think I can (6'2" ...built like a linebacker... family is a bunch of bible thumpers. ...pics around here somewhere in the amateur thread...) ...anyway... staying away from the passive-aggressive bullshit... I tend to drink/smoke too much... how do you full time girls handle the inevitable self doubt, self hate, angst, and stress of being who you want to be? ...some kind of outlet or ritual?

[sophiebendable]

From my experience, I think the feelings of self-loathing you're experiencing stem from being part-time and would only get better if you were to transition and probably really quickly. However, I am absolutely not saying you would feel better in general. I feel much better about myself, but much worse about my life. This is entirely because of external factors, mostly financial. It's difficult to understand quite how disadvantaged women in general and trans women in particular are until you've experienced it. In fact, I think the only thing that gets me through that adversity is how great I feel about who I am now and the fact that I've made that happen for myself when I previously considered it impossible.

[Jamie French]

Wow. You are totally broken. Seriously... if the post is real, just go ahead and eat a bullet. Not everyone is cut out for living.
Very few of us are full of self hatred or whatever the hell you're talking about... that was a wildly broad assumption made by someone so self obsessed that they don't even realize how heavily they are projecting. Or you're a troll. Probably a troll. No one comes to a porn forum for therapeutic advice. Go die.

[TSLexi]

Wow. You are totally broken. Seriously... if the post is real, just go ahead and eat a bullet. Not everyone is cut out for living.
Very few of us are full of self hatred or whatever the hell you're talking about... that was a wildly broad assumption made by someone so self obsessed that they don't even realize how heavily they are projecting. Or you're a troll. Probably a troll. No one comes to a porn forum for therapeutic advice. Go die.

Yeah, there's trans forums for that. I go to those when I want to cry on someone's shoulder. This is a TS porn forum, and where I hang out and party. It's meant for sex and fun, not psychotherapy.

[bluesoul]

*ahem* let's not forget this is a sanctuary for the chasers as well when they're not out in the field

[Ms.Stepford]

I'm pretty much just a supernatural entity these days, so I really don't have to worry about that sort of thing anymore, I guess.

Fuckin thank the gods.

[MrsKellyPierce]

I think any girl that's really a transsexual deals with all the BS just to be happy...

In my opinion you are brave to keep living your life not as yourself...

It's much easier just to be yourself...

[TempestTS]

What do you do, and how do you handle the nihilistic desire to do whatever it takes to overcome the pain and self-hate? ...I'm a part-timer that's ALWAYS wanted to go full time, but I don't think I can (6'2" ...built like a linebacker... family is a bunch of bible thumpers. ...pics around here somewhere in the amateur thread...) ...anyway... staying away from the passive-aggressive bullshit... I tend to drink/smoke too much... how do you full time girls handle the inevitable self doubt, self hate, angst, and stress of being who you want to be? ...some kind of outlet or ritual?

My only pain came from living a lie which was imprinted upon me by society and its binary expectation of male and female. Once I trancended that I have never looked back and have absolutely no regrets other than I wish I had actualized my self realization sooner.

Being yourself is the most empowering experience you can have - but you have to be willing to let go of everything if you want to step over that edge - honestly you dont need those that dont love you for exactly who you are - they only hold you back.

Everyone has their own path - mine is not yours - there are those among us that might help give some general directions but the the exact route for you is something you will discover is unique to yourself and there is beauty in the journey.

[sweetts18]

Thank you to those of you that have given genuine answers, and a big fuck you to people that suggest things like "eat a bullet"... I realize that yes, this is a porn forum... and that's why I specifically addressed it to the women here... because, like it or not, almost all of us start out where I am, and substance/alcohol abuse and depression are pretty common for a lot of people who are struggling with this. I thought there might be some answers, and those among you that aren't heartless have been helpful. Thanks

[Janna_b]

You are going to have to get to a point in your life where the pain of not being who you truly are is greater then the fear of what family and friends and society are going to say about you. Until you reach that point where you are ready to walk over that edge without a safety net you truly will never know what your true identity is and maybe it's more of a fetish then it is your true identity.

Is it easy? No. Have I lost friends and potential boyfriends? Yes...but so have other women who have gone before me and will go after me, but I can tell you the peace I feel inside as I look in the mirror and see who I truly am far outweighs the fear and sadness of me living a lie had I never fully transitioned.

The confidence and lack of self hate comes with living your life as who you truly are and coming to grips with the only opinion that truly matters is your own.

[amberskyi]

Wow. You are totally broken. Seriously... if the post is real, just go ahead and eat a bullet. Not everyone is cut out for living.
Very few of us are full of self hatred or whatever the hell you're talking about... that was a wildly broad assumption made by someone so self obsessed that they don't even realize how heavily they are projecting. Or you're a troll. Probably a troll. No one comes to a porn forum for therapeutic advice. Go die.

Wow, really tho? Totally unnecessary.
I've struggled with self hate because of what i am most of my life.it's gotten easier over the years as I've became more comfortable in my skin and with who i am.i still get moments tho when i hate my life and the fact that I'm a ts.let's face it, we'll never be normal and will have to deal with issues and hurdles that no one else ever will.

[nysprod]

Wow. You are totally broken. Seriously... if the post is real, just go ahead and eat a bullet. Not everyone is cut out for living.

Jamie, I used to think you were cool but you have WAY crossed over the boundary of decent human behavior...you have NO BUSINESS saying this to anyone...


Very few of us are full of self hatred or whatever the hell you're talking about... that was a wildly broad assumption made by someone so self obsessed that they don't even realize how heavily they are projecting. Or you're a troll. Probably a troll. No one comes to a porn forum for therapeutic advice. Go die.

You have no idea who this person is, what their life is like, or anything else for that matter. And BTW, a good percentage of this forum IS advice, therapeutic or otherwise, you just don't see it.

Really, I think you're behavior is especially atrocious because you should know better...you need to be banned.

[Prospero]

Jamie's response is sadly characteristic of her angry, arrogant and increasingly hateful postings here. She deserves to be given a serious reprimand. Completely out of line Jamie.
And this from a girl who a few months ago was appealing for people here to help fund her transition.

[TempestTS]

Jamie's response is sadly characteristic of her angry, arrogant and increasingly hateful postings here. She deserves to be given a serious reprimand. Completely out of line Jamie.
And this from a girl who a few months ago was appealing for people here to help fund her transition.


I couldnt agree more - Ive done this dance with Jamie before - I have no idea what would bring someone to spew such hateful and hurtful rants against others who are all in all part of the same trans orientation community.

It sickens me when girls act this way towards one another but seldom have I seen it taken to the level where someone actually suggests someone go do harm to themselves.

Ive lost more than a few friends and acquaintances - I have no desire to lose ANYONE else because of someones cruel intentions.

[TempestTS]

Thank you to those of you that have given genuine answers, and a big fuck you to people that suggest things like "eat a bullet"... I realize that yes, this is a porn forum... and that's why I specifically addressed it to the women here... because, like it or not, almost all of us start out where I am, and substance/alcohol abuse and depression are pretty common for a lot of people who are struggling with this. I thought there might be some answers, and those among you that aren't heartless have been helpful. Thanks

Ignore the Hatemonger. Those attitudes have no place here or anywhere else in the world.

There is nothing to fear in honest questions so you can (and should) ask anything you want, any way you want - none of us were born knowing everything - we all learned from others along the way.

[TSLexi]

To OP: Laura's Playground is an excellent site for trans advice, they gave me a lot of help. I hope you get through this! And Jaime should take her own "advice". Fuck her!

[Ms.Stepford]

Laura's is all hopped up on the pink cloud.

[TSLexi]

Laura's is all hopped up on the pink cloud.

They're a nice bunch though.

[MrsKellyPierce]

I gave her my blog secretkelly.com which I specifically make for beginning girls and self esteem.. I also have my radio show I use for it.

Since because I've become a porn girl the LGBT doesn't exactly want me at their conventions anymore.

[TSLexi]

I gave her my blog secretkelly.com which I specifically make for beginning girls and self esteem.. I also have my radio show I use for it.

Since because I've become a porn girl the LGBT doesn't exactly want me at their conventions anymore.

Why doesn't the trans community like us TS porn actresses? We're trans just as much as they are!

[Genetic]

What do you do, and how do you handle the nihilistic desire to do whatever it takes to overcome the pain and self-hate? ...I'm a part-timer that's ALWAYS wanted to go full time, but I don't think I can (6'2" ...built like a linebacker... family is a bunch of bible thumpers. ...pics around here somewhere in the amateur thread...) ...anyway... staying away from the passive-aggressive bullshit... I tend to drink/smoke too much... how do you full time girls handle the inevitable self doubt, self hate, angst, and stress of being who you want to be? ...some kind of outlet or ritual?

First off, I'm a guy and I'm not trans. However, I can tell you for a fact that you're unhappy because you're living a lie and not being yourself. Your build is irrelevant, it's not about being passable, it's about happiness and if you're happy when you're in "girl mode" for lack of a better term then you know what you need to do.

Bible thumping family, well it's up to them as to what is more important to them - you or what the Bible says. If they choose their faith then it's going to be horrible for you but you can't live a lie based on someone else's hangups. Be you and be proud of you. You will get shit over it I'm sure, but life isn't easy for anyone.



Yeah, there's trans forums for that. I go to those when I want to cry on someone's shoulder. This is a TS porn forum, and where I hang out and party. It's meant for sex and fun, not psychotherapy.

Well maybe you need to STFU and go to a different thread. Yes it's a "porn forum", but if you take five minutes to look around you'll see there's a lot of discussion and advice on here. If you don't have anything helpful to say then don't say anything at all. You've been here all of a week or so, so you're not exactly the best qualified to say what should and shouldn't be posted here.



Wow. You are totally broken. Seriously... if the post is real, just go ahead and eat a bullet. Not everyone is cut out for living.
Very few of us are full of self hatred or whatever the hell you're talking about... that was a wildly broad assumption made by someone so self obsessed that they don't even realize how heavily they are projecting. Or you're a troll. Probably a troll. No one comes to a porn forum for therapeutic advice. Go die.


Jamie, I'm going to say this honestly and sincerely. When I first joined the forum you were in the middle of a nasty spat with another girl on here and I figured I probably hadn't seen you at your best so I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Since then you've proven yourself to be a vicious, nasty piece of work and your behaviour is unnecessary and wholely unacceptable.

However this is a new low even by your standards. You are a disgraceful human being and how you swan through life treating everyone like something you've scraped off your shoe while there are no repercussions is beyond me. You say that you're not filled with self loathing, but I think it's pretty evident you are and your constant vile spewings are you taking out your frustrations and shortcomings on others. You're a bitter, twisted, spiteful and utterly pathetic person who will end up very much alone with no one grieving for you once you're gone.

Sweetts18, unfortunately this is kind of creature you'll have to deal with when you go full time but you'll realise that their hatred isn't for you, their hatred is fueled by their own miserable life and the fact it's easier to bully others than it is to take responsibility and ownership of their issues and face them. If you ever needed proof that someone who isn't passable can live full time as a woman and yet be attractive to others then Jamie is it, so don't let that stop you. Stay strong and don't let others stand in the way of you being happy.

[TempestTS]

Why doesn't the trans community like us TS porn actresses? We're trans just as much as they are!


I cant speak for Kelly, but the porn industry has always had a sigma attached to it because it involves sex work and to the mainstream sex work is taboo. For my end of things Ive actually been asked to take part in more LGBT events since I entered the adult biz than before... now one could argue Im hardly the typical porn star but if you lift the curtain and see behind the mask, very few of us are and I think any event that turns Kelly away simply because she works in the adult industry is missing out on something that could be very special. I think our opinions should have just as much value if not more so due to the sheer amount of interactions we have with the public and being completely and undeniably "out" as trans individuals.

[EvaCassini]

I posted this in another thread......read up! :)

there are way better places for "advice" then a PORN ( did i mention PORN ) FORUM.

Call a doctor, psychiatrist, counselor, friends, TRANSGENDER TRANSITION FORUMS ( GOOGLE THEM! ).

Does no one see that this is where some one who is starting out in their transition should not be asking for "NEEDED PROFESSIONAL ADVICE AND HELP"

I get that a lot of the girls on here have done very well with their transition through either good or bad routes, BUT there are better places to get advice and direction. Shit, FACEBOOK is better than this PORN FORUM for "PROFESSIONAL TRANSITION ADVICE FOR TRANSGENDERS".

Hungangels is great for promotion of porn work, TS admirers, and sexual conversation regarding TS's, but not where one should try to get any professional direction and aid.

THIS IS THE ADVICE...THAT I WOULD EXPECT TGIRLS IN THIS FORUM TO GIVE TO ANYONE SAYING ANYTHING REGARDING STARTING A VERY SERIOUS AND LIFE CHANGING TRANSITION. NOTHING LESS.

[TempestTS]

I posted this in another thread......read up! :)

there are way better places for "advice" then a PORN ( did i mention PORN ) FORUM.

Call a doctor, psychiatrist, counselor, friends, TRANSGENDER TRANSITION FORUMS ( GOOGLE THEM! ).

Does no one see that this is where some one who is starting out in their transition should not be asking for "NEEDED PROFESSIONAL ADVICE AND HELP"

I get that a lot of the girls on here have done very well with their transition through either good or bad routes, BUT there are better places to get advice and direction. Shit, FACEBOOK is better than this PORN FORUM for "PROFESSIONAL TRANSITION ADVICE FOR TRANSGENDERS".

Hungangels is great for promotion of porn work, TS admirers, and sexual conversation regarding TS's, but not where one should try to get any professional direction and aid.

THIS IS THE ADVICE...THAT I WOULD EXPECT TGIRLS IN THIS FORUM TO GIVE TO ANYONE SAYING ANYTHING REGARDING STARTING A VERY SERIOUS AND LIFE CHANGING TRANSITION. NOTHING LESS.


People will seek help and information anywhere they can - I agree this is not the best spot for it but there is no call for it to be the worst either and utterly no call for anyone to tell another human being to just go kill themselves regardless of what someone "Thought" about the initial post. There are enough needless suicides in the Trans Community as it is without one of our own encouraging that.

There is no defending that action... none.

[TSLexi]

I cant speak for Kelly, but the porn industry has always had a sigma attached to it because it involves sex work and to the mainstream sex work is taboo. For my end of things Ive actually been asked to take part in more LGBT events since I entered the adult biz than before... now one could argue Im hardly the typical porn star but if you lift the curtain and see behind the mask, very few of us are and I think any event that turns Kelly away simply because she works in the adult industry is missing out on something that could be very special. I think our opinions should have just as much value if not more so due to the sheer amount of interactions we have with the public and being completely and undeniably "out" as trans individuals.

One of the reasons I want to be an TS adult actress. Other than minor celebrity status, money, and sex, I want to show off just how hard I worked to be myself.

We should be the leaders of the trans community, because we fully accept our lot in life and aren't ashamed of it in the slightest.

We're chicks with dicks!

Lexi

PS: Why do so many transgirls/transguys say "if I was born a girl/guy..."? If you were born a girl, you wouldn't be you!

[TSLexi]

Well maybe you need to STFU and go to a different thread. Yes it's a "porn forum", but if you take five minutes to look around you'll see there's a lot of discussion and advice on here. If you don't have anything helpful to say then don't say anything at all. You've been here all of a week or so, so you're not exactly the best qualified to say what should and shouldn't be posted here.


Sorry about that. Forgive me.

[EvaCassini]

One of the reasons I want to be an TS adult actress. Other than minor celebrity status, money, and sex, I want to show off just how hard I worked to be myself.

We should be the leaders of the trans community, because we fully accept our lot in life and aren't ashamed of it in the slightest.

We're chicks with dicks!

Lexi

PS: Why do so many transgirls/transguys say "if I was born a girl/guy..."? If you were born a girl, you wouldn't be you!

----Porn is not the proper way of showing "how hard you worked to be yourself".

----Just because those of us in PORN has attained a status, DOES NOT MEAN WE ALL SHOULD BE LEADERS IN THE TRANS COMMUNITY.

Years ago, "our little niche in porn" was more or less looked at as a "freak show". In the PORN COMMUNITY in the recent years to present, our presence has been greatly getting better and better recognized with respect.

A lot of tgirls don't want anything to do with porn. Those of us who do, enjoy what we do and the benefits that come along with it.

Until the thoughts of society change to become better, more respectful, and more progressive, I don't agree that just because a tgirl does porn, does not mean she should be an ADVOCATE for TRANSGENDER RIGHTS, although some try. I give my helping hand for those who tried and are having some success but on the whole, society won't give respect and rights to a tgirl willing to spread her legs and present herself to be a "sex symbol". It's way too taboo for most.

[TSLexi]

----Porn is not the proper way of showing "how hard you worked to be yourself".

----Just because those of us in PORN has attained a status, DOES NOT MEAN WE ALL SHOULD BE LEADERS IN THE TRANS COMMUNITY.

Years ago, "our little niche in porn" was more or less looked at as a "freak show". In the PORN COMMUNITY in the recent years to present, our presence has been greatly getting better and better recognized with respect.

A lot of tgirls don't want anything to do with porn. Those of us who do, enjoy what we do and the benefits that come along with it.

Until the thoughts of society change to become better, more respectful, and more progressive, I don't agree that just because a tgirl does porn, does not mean she should be an ADVOCATE for TRANSGENDER RIGHTS, although some try. I give my helping hand for those who tried and are having some success but on the whole, society won't give respect and rights to a tgirl willing to spread her legs and present herself to be a "sex symbol". It's way too taboo for most.

I know. I'm the odd girl out in my little trans group at uni. I've always been odd.

And fuck society. As long as I'm happy, and I've got friends who like me for me, I'm fine.

[Rusty Eldora]

OK I am a guy and a TS admirer. Yes the only vehicle right now for me to meet Tgirls is escorts, well I already see and enjoy escorts, so it is good.

I like the discussions on here, maybe it isn't the best forum for transitioning advice, but the discussion gets us guys to better understand.

On a local Seattle hobby board the perception was that Tgirls are "guys dressed up as women" and you are gay if you see them. In about a year it is now where a TS can advertise and only get positive comments, no troll droppings. A TS now has almost the highest rating in TER 8.9 vs 9.3 for the highest.

Every guy that sees a TS will be realizing that they are women or a 3rd sex and are much more ready to accept and get others to accept the Transgendered.

[C. Saw]

People can seek help or advice in many different ways: talk with friends, alcohol, professional advice, etc. Doctors aren't necessarily for everybody. Maybe this started out as a porn site - don't know wasn't around that long ago - but it is more than that now. The porn is definitely here - thank God - but so is the caring. I've seen it all over the forums and some of the girls here seem to care and be willing to give advice. If I didn't care about the people then I wouldn't have even looked at this thread, I would stick to the other threads. If the original poster likes this website, then why shouldn't they ask for advice? There is a lot of experience here and sometimes people don't want to be lectured. I would much rather listen too Kelly Shore or Liberty or whomever, who actually have some life experience. I was very surprised to find such negativity expressed toward someone who is obviously going through a tough time.

[EvaCassini]

understandable....but just curious, whom here who have posted in this thread do you think does not have life experience?

[RallyCola]

ok...now i am caught up. 2 closed threads and a few pages here later....

what jamie said is her usual know-it-all bullshit. had any guy here said that, they would have been banned. steven is not going to ban one of the biggest post-whores here who is also a grooby girl. but nevertheless, such comments are uncalled for.

[GroobySteven]

ok...now i am caught up. 2 closed threads and a few pages here later....

what jamie said is her usual know-it-all bullshit. had any guy here said that, they would have been banned. steven is not going to ban one of the biggest post-whores here who is also a grooby girl. but nevertheless, such comments are uncalled for.

Move on ... it's been dealt with.

[C. Saw]

understandable....but just curious, whom here who have posted in this thread do you think does not have life experience?

I meant that many posters on here have the life experience, rather than trying to talk to a professional/doctor who may just be very well read - or whatever. I was thinking of the original poster who some suggested that he should look elsewhere for help. My two examples were just given to anyone looking for advice since they, as are others, good examples of posters on this website who have given out helpful advice.

This is not some kind of moral high ground that I'm trying to stand upon. My motto is simple - "live and let live".