Relationship Advise

[jimmyyzz]

So, I've been in a relationship with a woman for almost ten years, who is now Post-op... We met when she was pre-hormones, no implants.

Long story short, we fell in love. She knew I was Bi but accepted me. Of course, I accepted her. In short order she got implants, a year and a half later, SRS. We talked about the SRS, I told her I loved her as she was, that I didn't want her to do it.

She did it anyway... I was very proud of her for going through with it. (And very sad for myself at the same time.) It was something she needed to do in this life. Unfortunately, our sexual relationship has never the same. All the haters on this forum can call me gay, faggot, or whatever they want. I'm bi, okay, get over it.

The problem is that I love this woman, but I'm not as sexually attracted to her as I was in the past. The question is, do I live my life with someone who I love, and is a great person, (suppress myself) or do I follow my sexual orientation?

All opinions are appreciated.

[Prospero]

A lot of middle aged men and women face this question in marriage. Saggy bodies, beer bellies, familiarity etc etc. The question is - how much you love each other? Sort that out between you. It is of the essence.

[Janna_b]

If you have to ask this question then you do not have a true couple relationship with this woman, you have a friendship and need to keep it that way. Life is way too short to spend it not happy with someone who you are not attracted mind, body and soul to. You owe it to yourself to find someone with a penis who is going to attract you and keep you satisifed until you grow up some more and find someone that attracts you in all aspects, if you stay you are just going to resent her and more then likely cheat on her because you're not happy.

[jimmyyzz]

Good point.

I'm curious about the percentage of long-term couples (Whatever orientation) who are still attracted to each other and not fantasizing about being with someone else. It's got to be pretty low.

Grass is always greener. Relationships are tough, but not without their rewards.

[Prospero]

Well many people who still love their partners, yet no longer find they are that sexually satisfied, go see escorts. A lot of the the guys here for instance who go to see girls for something their wives simply cannot provide. It's an option - though not perhaps an honourable one.

[jimmyyzz]

That is such a true statement. I haven't wanted to accept it.

I love her, obviously not enough, and probably in an incomplete way. I think I owe it to her to let her go and let her find someone who truly loves her in a complete way.

Thanks Janna.

[Janna_b]

Good point.

I'm curious about the percentage of long-term couples (Whatever orientation) who are still attracted to each other and not fantasizing about being with someone else. It's got to be pretty low.

Grass is always greener. Relationships are tough, but not without their rewards.

You are trying to justify your being with multiple partners of different genders, why? Why be in something serious right now? You want to play with penises and not limit yourself which is totally o.k, just don't bring someone into it seriously until you grow up some more and find someone worth settling down with.

When you find that person you wont want to look at others. People so over annalyze relationships, if you want to play and have fun with different genders it's totally o.k, it's when you try to do it in a relationship that you run into problems. Play now and find out what you really want in a relationship, and then go find it for keeps.

[BigDF]

So, I've been in a relationship with a woman for almost ten years, who is now Post-op... We met when she was pre-hormones, no implants.

Long story short, we fell in love. She knew I was Bi but accepted me. Of course, I accepted her. In short order she got implants, a year and a half later, SRS. We talked about the SRS, I told her I loved her as she was, that I didn't want her to do it.

She did it anyway... I was very proud of her for going through with it. (And very sad for myself at the same time.) It was something she needed to do in this life. Unfortunately, our sexual relationship has never the same. All the haters on this forum can call me gay, faggot, or whatever they want. I'm bi, okay, get over it.

The problem is that I love this woman, but I'm not as sexually attracted to her as I was in the past. The question is, do I live my life with someone who I love, and is a great person, (suppress myself) or do I follow my sexual orientation?

All opinions are appreciated.It sounds like there is some sexual attraction left. You can build on that and begin a conversation with her about how you can fulfill your personal attraction. Don't underestimate the power of love, especially long term love, to help resolve these problems. My wife, who basically saved my life when we married in 1989, is aware of and tolerates my own intense sexual attraction to these special women. Talk to her about this, rather than us. :geek:

[Prospero]

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:
Talk to her about this, rather than us. :geek:

[tao1kiku]

While Janna seems to have said it and said it well, just my 2 cents. My fiance is pre-op right now. One day, she may eventually have SRS. And for me, it is being in love with the person, someone who emotionally completes me as I complete her, someone who is fun, vibrant and intellectually stimulating, someone who likes and respects me as I do for her, someone who is supportive of me as as I am supportive of her. Sex is secondary. Eventually as you get older, in a number of relationships sex goes, stops, but it is the love and respect for each other that maintains the relationship.