Would you allow your tgirlfriend to meet your friends.

[MHarrigan82]

My girl would like to meet some of my friends for the Superbowl. In the previous thread I told you what happen when I told my parents about my girlfriend of 7 months. I am invited to my friend superbowl and he would like me to bring my girlfriend. I plan on bringing her but don't want to have an uncomfortable situation if she gets clocked.

[RallyCola]

very simply...if you care about your gf AND your friends care about you, it shouldn't be an issue. if i were me, i'd bring her to the party

[bluesoul]

I plan on bringing her but don't want to have an uncomfortable situation if she gets clocked.

tell your friends that your girlfriend is a transsexual. because you know they will know (and they may not even tell you). :geek:

[fred41]

tell your friends that your girlfriend is a transsexual. because you know they will know (and they may not even tell you). :geek:

Don't EVER EVER EVER tell anyone your GF is a TS unless your GF wants you to. EVER....that is her secret....not yours.

[RyderMonroe]

Don't EVER EVER EVER tell anyone your GF is a TS unless your GF wants you to. EVER....that is her secret....not yours.

totally.

[fivekatz]

I Fred41 certainly has a point that you should ask your GF her feelings about discussing her transition. Aside from that, fuck it man. Most people will surprise you with just how accepting they are and the rest of the people who can't accept you and your life choices, its their loss.

Each of these events, whether it is dealing with your family or your friends will not test your bonds but rather tighten them.

[bluesoul]

Don't EVER EVER EVER tell anyone your GF is a TS unless your GF wants you to. EVER....that is her secret....not yours.

why would she not want it known? and "secret" sounds like something you're hiding which then makes the relationship sound illicit.

[fred41]

why would she not want it known? and "secret" sounds like something you're hiding which then makes the relationship sound illicit.

There might be a thousand reasons why she may not want it known...or there might just be one. The point is that it's "her" reason ...not yours- and it will affect her more than it will ever affect you.

...and if she's an adult, it isn't an illicit relationship.
We should be well past that shit on this site at least.

[fivekatz]

why would she not want it known? and "secret" sounds like something you're hiding which then makes the relationship sound illicit.How people are emotional scared by the judgments of others is hard to measure unless you have walked in their shoes.

I can have some empathy having grown up an American Jew that physical appeared like the WASP kid, with red hair and freckles, yet knowing that many of my neighbors were more than comfortable with terms like Kike and sheeny.

So it is left to us to engage what empathy we can into what it must be like to grow up and not only discover that you are not attracted to women but are in fact a man trapped in a woman's body. The judgments, the fears and trials of that journey are almost unimaginable so it only makes sense to respect that persons right to decide when, where and how to discuss her journey to being a woman IMO.

[rodinuk]

why would she not want it known? and "secret" sounds like something you're hiding which then makes the relationship sound illicit.

... because even in this day and age being transgender carries risk :geek:

http://www.transgenderdor.org/memorializing-2012

[bluesoul]

but everyone here keeps going on about how they don't care what others think, and the op has even stopped talking with his folks for this person because they didn't approve of their son dating a transsexual and that was well supported here.

but now they logic has gone back to "don't let your friends know she's a transsexual"?



...and if she's an adult, it isn't an illicit relationship.
We should be well past that shit on this site at least.

my comment had more to do with "her secret" being kept from his friends. what shit are we supposed to be past exactly?

[bluesoul]

The point is that it's "her" reason ...not yours- and it will affect her more than it will ever affect you.


considering that the op is no longer in speaking terms with his folks, i'd say it's affecting him more than her.

btw: i'm not saying to tell the friends without her knowledge, but not to keep it hidden

[fred41]

considering that the op is no longer in speaking terms with his folks, i'd say it's affecting him more than her.

btw: i'm not saying to tell the friends without her knowledge, but not to keep it hidden

You don't know that. You don't know what shit she goes through on a daily basis.
You really want to imagine the difference?
Okay, ...you see the shit the OP went through just because he told his father he's dating a TS?..They don't talk...but there's a chance they might one day. Maybe not.
All because he said he's dating a TS.
Now imagine what would have happened if instead of saying he's dating a TS...
he said that he was a TS.
.
There's a difference.

As for the second part of your question...you can't tell your friends without her knowledge if she says "No".

[hwbs]

i have plenty of times...only a few people in my personal life don't know i like ts and work of course.....but i always keep work separate whether its about gg or ts

[Prospero]

I think you should proudly introduce her - if she is really your girlfriend and not just a fuck buddy ora casual date. As to her gender identity. That is for her to decide.

[tao1kiku]

If she wants people to know she is a TS, then she will make that announcement. Not your place to say anything. And if you're not comfortable being out with her and the chance of someone clocking her, stop dating her - that's for her sake, not yours. You should be proud to be with her

[robertlouis]

I think you should proudly introduce her - if she is really your girlfriend and not just a fuck buddy ora casual date. As to her gender identity. That is for her to decide.

:iagree::iagree::iagree: Totally.

[Willie Escalade]

I did; the crew (who is NOT in the scene) didn't care. Many of them know NOW she was TS; they STILL don't care.

[Chiba5]

if I had a Ts gf I would introduce her to my relatives and my friends and it's up to her to reveal that she's a TS I would still love her with all my heart and support her

[RallyCola]

wait...i have a question.

are you more concerned with what your friends will think of you or how they will treat her?

if this is a real relationship with a girl you truly care for, it should be the latter.

[MHarrigan82]

wait...i have a question.

are you more concerned with what your friends will think of you or how they will treat her?

if this is a real relationship with a girl you truly care for, it should be the latter.

To be honest Rally Colla a little of both. I don't want her to be uncomfortable but I don't want to lose friends that I made before meeting her.

[bluesoul]

if this is a real relationship with a girl you truly care for, it should be the latter.

that's amazing. only that one answer is the correct one :Bowdown:

[Jamie French]

I don't understand how people could be so attached to friends that wouldn't be comfortable with the harmless decisions one makes for one's self. What's so special about that kind of friend that you would feel shame rather than outrage at their reactions to your decisions? I fantasize about the moments somebody has something to say about the choices I make - especially if they are/were a friend... the fight I'm about to win feels so much more satisfying that way.

[bluesoul]

I don't understand how people could be so attached to friends that wouldn't be comfortable with the harmless decisions one makes for one's self. What's so special about that kind of friend that you would feel shame rather than outrage at their reactions to your decisions?

i can give an example: not all my friends agree with everything i do, or even everything i believe in, even as much as i'd like them to. the same goes for me too. one of my friends is dating one of the biggest bitches i've ever known in my life- and i've told him he's making the worst mistake of his life being with her. it hasn't ended our friendship, but it's certainly caused major friction.

[Jamie French]

That's weak sauce. Sooo dating a transgendered person is equivalent to dating a disagreeable person? What exactly are you trying to say? Furthermore... who get's to go through life without a little friction here and there? Who really deserves to? You gotta Check your rebuttals before you click, "submit reply".


i can give an example: not all my friends agree with everything i do, or even everything i believe in, even as much as i'd like them to. the same goes for me too. one of my friends is dating one of the biggest bitches i've ever known in my life- and i've told him he's making the worst mistake of his life being with her. it hasn't ended our friendship, but it's certainly caused major friction.

[fivekatz]

To be honest Rally Colla a little of both. I don't want her to be uncomfortable but I don't want to lose friends that I made before meeting her.All due respect but you have already encountered sharp division with your mother and father. Now my guess is that regardless of differences either your mum or dad would walk through hell in gasoline suit for you if your were in trouble.

Now on one hand, the rejection of unconditional support from your parents may have you uneasy about further rejection from friends. But in all candor if you truly do love this lady, doesn't the rejection of friends mean they really aren't all that friendly after all?

Shit man, if you really love this girl, let it be and deal with whatever the reactions maybe. You will still have each other to hold on tight to no matter what these "quote" friends think. Losing someone who doesn't have your back is not as big a lose as it feels in the moment.

Your alternative is to live in the closet and that is not only demoralizing but in a bit of irony you probably should have made that choice before you told your mother and father.

Godspeed man. But remember if these are your friends they may react oddly at first but they will have your back, if not be glad you are strarring at theirs IMHO.

Just my take

[fred41]

Who needs friends anyway...just buy a dog.

[Special42]

I always did

[SXFX]

This really hurts my fucking head....
she's a good looking attractive smart woman...i mean what is there to worry about?
what are you dating? granny trannies?

[elchingon8]

We talked about yesterday. I told her I would love it if she met them but she wants to get more surgery first. Its not an issue for me. I know my friends wouldn't care

[robertlouis]

Of course I would. And for all the guys commenting on the looks of the girl in question, shame on you. You don't deserve her.

[horus]

Why not??? :)

[BrendaTG]

why would she not want it known? and "secret" sounds like something you're hiding which then makes the relationship sound illicit.

Its different for each girl. I would not mind if my boyfriend would tell his friends I am a TS.
Because.... I am a TS ;)

[RallyCola]

bottom line is that you should never be ashamed of your significant other or being with them. if your friends/family are unable to respect you and your choices, then you should question them, not yourself.

[bluesoul]

Its different for each girl. I would not mind if my boyfriend would tell his friends I am a TS.
Because.... I am a TS ;)

this is exactly my point.

[carl essex]

yes, i have done and do ..... and my family

[Jericho]

No.
Most of my friends are perverts and I'm not having those cunts hitting on her!!!

[MHarrigan82]

Update I did bring my girlfriend to the Superbowl party it went great everybody treated Cynthia fine. I did not tell.anyone she was transexual. She got along well with my friend girl. My girl says that she would tell them if anyone asks and that it is not my choice to disclose that info.

[tskitana]

update i did bring my girlfriend to the superbowl party it went great everybody treated cynthia fine. I did not tell.anyone she was transexual. She got along well with my friend girl. My girl says that she would tell them if anyone asks and that it is not my choice to disclose that info.


good stuff! && good for you both !

[bluesoul]

My girl says that she would tell them if anyone asks and that it is not my choice to disclose that info.

you mean if someone asks whether she is transsexual? i'd imagine if they asked that means they know, because that's not a question one goes around asking- unless they have some serious evidence

[Brandi Boots]

far out! Good for you!!!

[fivekatz]

Update I did bring my girlfriend to the Superbowl party it went great everybody treated Cynthia fine. I did not tell.anyone she was transexual. She got along well with my friend girl. My girl says that she would tell them if anyone asks and that it is not my choice to disclose that info.That's great dude. That's a big step forward. People without labels are just people and you and Cynthia just found that out.

Good for you! Cheers.

[fred41]

Update I did bring my girlfriend to the Superbowl party it went great everybody treated Cynthia fine. I did not tell.anyone she was transexual. She got along well with my friend girl. My girl says that she would tell them if anyone asks and that it is not my choice to disclose that info.

You must have been flying after all that went so well !!..lol

I'm happy for you dude.