Funniest/nastiest/craziest most ridicules escort stories or requests

[Boardwalkempire]

Ready??? Go...

[nysprod]

A little vicarious fetish here?

[Willie Escalade]

I fucked the shit out of a girl...literally. I KNOW that's happened before with others...

[Jamie French]

Had a dude ask me to act as if I was his 13 year old nephew. Sleep tight.

[Boardwalkempire]

A little vicarious fetish here?

Haha no I just wanted to use a good laugh

[Boardwalkempire]

Had a dude ask me to act as if I was his 13 year old nephew. Sleep tight.

Wow now that's just plain wrong and sick.

Did you do it?

[jasons_argo@]

Jamie,,,bet you could play a great 13 yr old niece too

[Jamie French]

Nah, I pointed out that age play was on my list of dont's and moved on to something else.

However, I once got so overzealous with a deep throating session that I completely unloaded lunch all over a dudes chest. Learned a lot about timing that day. So there you go... one actually fucked up gross story. Enjoy your meal.


Wow now that's just plain wrong and sick.

Did you do it?

[Jamie French]

Holy shit, did you really just say that? Can we get someone to keep an eye on this guy? We have an admitted pedo right here... seriously. Some one look into this guy or ban him outright.


Jamie,,,bet you could play a great 13 yr old niece too

[GroobyKrissy]

Easily the weirdest (and most detailed, which I'll shorten for this post) request I've ever gotten was to arrive wearing only a kitchen apron with a live lobster in tow and several loads of cold cum. Cook lobster in the presence of person, crush cooked lobster by walking on it several times, and then feed to person using the cum as "butter"...

I don't think this was a joke either as the person still emails me to this day every once in a while asking for this to happen.

THAT is one serious fetish... which I didn't do, although it did make me very hungry.

[reformedcharacter]

I met a girl who claimed that a punter paid her a lot of money to eat nothing but marzipan for 3 days before he came around and had her poo in his mouth !

apparently he could tell from the taste if she had kept to her word and she said that it came out the same colour as it went in :salad

ever since then, whenever I see british comedians Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer playing their characters Donald and Davie Stott I laugh even harder when one of them says "Marzipan's private!" :)

[GroobyKrissy]

I met a girl who claimed that a punter paid her a lot of money to eat nothing but marzipan for 3 days before he came around and had her poo in his mouth !

apparently he could tell from the taste if she had kept to her word and she said that it came out the same colour as it went in :salad

ever since then, whenever I see british comedians Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer playing their characters Donald and Davie Stott I laugh even harder when one of them says "Marzipan's private!" :)

I never got Marzipan... just not my cup of tea... especially now. I was no fan of the stuff in the first place but I think this story pretty much ruins it for anyone... except maybe Dino.

[Genetic]

Holy shit, did you really just say that? Can we get someone to keep an eye on this guy? We have an admitted pedo right here... seriously. Some one look into this guy or ban him outright.

Fucking hell, I think he was trying to make the point that you were asked to be a nephew but seeing as you identify as female you could be a niece as well.

How about you actually think before you throw accusations like that out?

[Kevin Dong]

this thread delivers

[Kire89]

These anecdotes makes me somewhat relieved that my fetishes only amount to feet, schoolgirl/secretary uniforms with accompanying glasses and painted toenails. Thus far.

OT: Jamie's signature picture makes it hard to write a coherent post. :D

[Plkpit]

Fucking hell, I think he was trying to make the point that you were asked to be a nephew but seeing as you identify as female you could be a niece as well.

How about you actually think before you throw accusations like that out?
But why 13yo niece. Sick shit IMO

[reformedcharacter]

I never got Marzipan... just not my cup of tea... especially now. I was no fan of the stuff in the first place but I think this story pretty much ruins it for anyone... except maybe Dino.

I don't think I've knowingly eaten marzipan since either, especially knowing that it came out the same colour. I mean, how would you know that the marzipan on you cake hadn't gone through the same process? :)

[GroobyKrissy]

I don't think I've knowingly eaten marzipan since either, especially knowing that it came out the same colour. I mean, how would you know that the marzipan on you cake hadn't gone through the same process? :)

Great. Now you've just ruined cake for me too. Can you please stop? Actually, keep going. This should help with my diet.

[Genetic]

But why 13yo niece. Sick shit IMO
So you're ok with 13 year old nephew but 13 year old niece you take offense to? Read the fucking thread before wading in and making yourself look like you're ok with 13 year old boys being fucked yeah?

[Odelay]

So you're ok with 13 year old nephew but 13 year old niece you take offense to? Read the fucking thread before wading in and making yourself look like you're ok with 13 year old boys being fucked yeah?
You're the douchebag who can't read. The subject title asks for crazy requests, and Jamie answered it with a truly repulsive request from a would be john. Then jasons_argo made the perverted reply about Jamie playing a 13 year old girl. It's not Jamie who should be slammed here. It's jasons_argo and you, for supporting him.

[Prospero]

I think GroobyKrissy's Lobster tale is going to impossible to beat. Was it Salvador Dali by any chance?

[GroobyKrissy]

I think GroobyKrissy's Lobster tale is going to impossible to beat. Was it Salvador Dali by any chance?

Well, you can now be looking over your shoulder here... It is obviously a Member here because shortly after I wrote in this thread I received an email saying it was "nice of me to share with others" and asking if I was finally going to do it. Answer is still "No", my friend.

I do have to add, this person is always very courteous... and persistent :) I just don't get the whole cooking and crushing thing. I mean, everything else is just a romantic dinner, right?

[ditadior]

Okay pick one do you want hammer and vice grips on balls, 13 year old coming to see me, orgy with mayor of one of the capital cities province in Canada, guy got so ficked up ficked me tried to pay me in salt instead of coke when I was a addict but he was too stupid and high and snorted the salt first before I did, sex in movie theatre, ...

Pick your poison or give me a category this thread has my name written all over it.
Tell me which one you want the most popular one I will write a entry as a reply of a story on here when I get on my laptop after I study biology.

[GroobyKrissy]

Hammer and vice grips on balls... hands down. The worst I have had to do is a little kicking in the crotch when I was escorting. It was kind of fun actually. This sounds serious.

[Plkpit]

So you're ok with 13 year old nephew but 13 year old niece you take offense to? Read the fucking thread before wading in and making yourself look like you're ok with 13 year old boys being fucked yeah?
I strongly recommend you go back and read the entire tread before starting another post. Ranting more will make you look stupid or perverted. Not a good choice.

[Dino Velvet]

Is it too late to cry rape if you paid her first?

[Genetic]

You're the douchebag who can't read. The subject title asks for crazy requests, and Jamie answered it with a truly repulsive request from a would be john. Then jasons_argo made the perverted reply about Jamie playing a 13 year old girl. It's not Jamie who should be slammed here. It's jasons_argo and you, for supporting him.


I strongly recommend you go back and read the entire tread before starting another post. Ranting more will make you look stupid or perverted. Not a good choice.

God almighty you two have gone full retard and are obviously incapable of understanding any sort of logic. I swear that some people think any comment about children makes a person a paedophile. I personally thought Boadwalkempire asking if Jamie is did it was far worse as he wanted to know the outcome. But you guys just keep up the hysteria and white knighting for Jamie. I'll just block you both for being cretins.

[Genetic]

Easily the weirdest (and most detailed, which I'll shorten for this post) request I've ever gotten was to arrive wearing only a kitchen apron with a live lobster in tow and several loads of cold cum. Cook lobster in the presence of person, crush cooked lobster by walking on it several times, and then feed to person using the cum as "butter"...

Back onto topic - has the person ever explained this particular request? It seems incredibly specific so there must be a fetish involved here, but how does something like that evolve?

[GroobyKrissy]

Back onto topic - has the person ever explained this particular request? It seems incredibly specific so there must be a fetish involved here, but how does something like that evolve?

I have asked and never gotten a response besides a re-asking of the request. I mean, I've heard of cooking fetishes, and I've heard of crushing fetishes. I think the crushing fetishes usually involve things that make noise when crushed so the shellfish thing makes sense to me.

The throwing of all this together though, along with the cold cum as butter thing... that is a bit odd. I'm not sure how this person's fetish developed but I would guess it has something to do with a lobster dinner with a first date or first love gone horribly wrong. Something like that.... who knows?

[Boardwalkempire]

Okay pick one do you want hammer and vice grips on balls, 13 year old coming to see me, orgy with mayor of one of the capital cities province in Canada, guy got so ficked up ficked me tried to pay me in salt instead of coke when I was a addict but he was too stupid and high and snorted the salt first before I did, sex in movie theatre, ...

Pick your poison or give me a category this thread has my name written all over it.
Tell me which one you want the most popular one I will write a entry as a reply of a story on here when I get on my laptop after I study biology.

Did you call that kids parents?!!! Lol

[Boardwalkempire]

God almighty you two have gone full retard and are obviously incapable of understanding any sort of logic. I swear that some people think any comment about children makes a person a paedophile. I personally thought Boadwalkempire asking if Jamie is did it was far worse as he wanted to know the outcome. But you guys just keep up the hysteria and white knighting for Jamie. I'll just block you both for being cretins.


Woa I didnt mean anything bad about it. I was just curious to how
It played out. Just being the curious cat that's all.

Sorry if i offended anyone

[Genetic]

So I'm guessing Krissy you have no intention of fulfilling said request? lol



Woa I didnt mean anything bad about it. I was just curious to how
It played out. Just being the curious cat that's all.

Sorry if i offended anyone

After I posted that I realised that it may seem like I was having a go at you and I really wasn't. I kinda meant that if those two drama queens were going to overanalyse responses then yours, to me, seemed like a more obvious one to take issue with. I didn't think anything bad of your comment or the other guy's, I just think the two guys I was arguing with were having a Helen Lovejoy hysteria fit.

[Boardwalkempire]

So I'm guessing Krissy you have no intention of fulfilling said request? lol




After I posted that I realised that it may seem like I was having a go at you and I really wasn't. I kinda meant that if those two drama queens were going to overanalyse responses then yours, to me, seemed like a more obvious one to take issue with. I didn't think anything bad of your comment or the other guy's, I just think the two guys I was arguing with were having a Helen Lovejoy hysteria fit.

Makes perfect sense. Thanks for the explanation