Homophobic People, what is that?

[jamesedwards]

I don't get this word, I basically don't see anyone scared of a Homosexual but dislike their lifestyle, is totally different. It's like taking that word and trying to use some type of guilty psychology on those who don't like the gay lifestyle to make them compromise. Either they don't like gays/homos or they don't like the lifestyle that's hardly being scared.

[broncofan]

I think it's a definite misnomer. But the claim that there's a lifestyle associated with a certain sexual preference is a cover for hatred of homosexuals. There was a time that homosexuals did not get mainstream jobs but this was not the result of something inherent in them but based on the fact that their options were limited. It's not a lifestyle to want to have sex with those of the same gender nor to frequent clubs that cater to those seeking that. And yes, male homosexuals tend to have sex more often than male heterosexuals but this is probably due to the fact that men generally have higher sex drives than women, who are harder to get in bed as a result. This is countered by the observation that lesbian couples tend to be more monogamous than heterosexual couples.

But it is most definitely a hatred. I think the phobia aspect is related to "gay panic", where homophobic straight men are afraid of being molested by gay men. I've also heard it in reference to the fear of some straight men that they are perceived as gay. But I would agree that homophobia is definitely pervaded by hatred and most dangerous because of that.

[trish]

I know lot’s of young guys who are afraid that if they are friendly with gays or lesbians or transsexuals, or if they express a tolerance toward gays, then they would be taunted themselves by that appellation. “So?” I inquire. “If my friends call me gay it’ll get around and I’ll never get laid by a girl again,” is the reply. There are a lot of illogical leaps in passing to that conclusion, but the fear of being called “gay” is real. I can see it in their eyes. They fear the appellation will diminish their chances to find and bond with a girl. So that’s one kind of fear that straight guys contend with relative to lgbt issues.

Another fear is of the latant bisexual desires that are normal, but suppressed and bottled away under pressure by many straight men. Gotta keep the cap on that thing ya know.

I also think there’s a biologically hardwired disgust. When my own father finally confronted my true sexuality he gasped in near disbelief, “You suck other guy’s cocks?”, then turned his head and spit in disgust at the thought of sucking a cock. “Look Dad, Mom sucks yours, right?” I still don’t think he can get his head around the actual act of same sex sex or transgender sex.

Why do you think someone’s lifestyle, which should have absolutely nothing to do with what happens in another person’s house or marriage, would be so vociferously disliked by people not participating in that lifestyle? It’s more than a matter of preference. It’s a matter of politically imposing heteosexuality and politically suppressing homosexuality. That kind of hatred comes from somewhere. I think it comes from fear and biological disposition.

[jamesedwards]

Good post



I think it's a definite misnomer. But the claim that there's a lifestyle associated with a certain sexual preference is a cover for hatred of homosexuals. There was a time that homosexuals did not get mainstream jobs but this was not the result of something inherent in them but based on the fact that their options were limited. It's not a lifestyle to want to have sex with those of the same gender nor to frequent clubs that cater to those seeking that. And yes, male homosexuals tend to have sex more often than male heterosexuals but this is probably due to the fact that men generally have higher sex drives than women, who are harder to get in bed as a result. This is countered by the observation that lesbian couples tend to be more monogamous than heterosexual couples.

But it is most definitely a hatred. I think the phobia aspect is related to "gay panic", where homophobic straight men are afraid of being molested by gay men. I've also heard it in reference to the fear of some straight men that they are perceived as gay. But I would agree that homophobia is definitely pervaded by hatred and most dangerous because of that.

[jamesedwards]

Are you suggesting that your father get it about you sleeping with the same sex? He's not going to get it, and see that's the problem, gays think EVERYONE in the world should understand that lifestyle, asking your father "MOM SUCKS YOUR COCK RIGHT" is not the same as same sex. That's like trying to equate slavery to what is happening to the gays, that's like saying 2 +2=78!!! Africans were hated for their complexion which you can't change, a gay person can change and please don't say they can't because some have. Maybe people need to go behind closed doors do their shit and not tell people shit.



I know lot’s of young guys who are afraid that if they are friendly with gays or lesbians or transsexuals, or if they express a tolerance toward gays, then they would be taunted themselves by that appellation. “So?” I inquire. “If my friends call me gay it’ll get around and I’ll never get laid by a girl again,” is the reply. There are a lot of illogical leaps in passing to that conclusion, but the fear of being called “gay” is real. I can see it in their eyes. They fear the appellation will diminish their chances to find and bond with a girl. So that’s one kind of fear that straight guys contend with relative to lgbt issues.

Another fear is of the latant bisexual desires that are normal, but suppressed and bottled away under pressure by many straight men. Gotta keep the cap on that thing ya know.

I also think there’s a biologically hardwired disgust. When my own father finally confronted my true sexuality he gasped in near disbelief, “You suck other guy’s cocks?”, then turned his head and spit in disgust at the thought of sucking a cock. “Look Dad, Mom sucks yours, right?” I still don’t think he can get his head around the actual act of same sex sex or transgender sex.

Why do you think someone’s lifestyle, which should have absolutely nothing to do with what happens in another person’s house or marriage, would be so vociferously disliked by people not participating in that lifestyle? It’s more than a matter of preference. It’s a matter of politically imposing heteosexuality and politically suppressing homosexuality. That kind of hatred comes from somewhere. I think it comes from fear and biological disposition.

[amberskyi]

Does anyone see the irony in this thread lol

[broncofan]

Does anyone see the irony in this thread lol
You are right. I can't believe James just wrote that. Sexuality is mostly fixed. A very small number of people have changed, and there are a couple of cases in the literature about people suffering massive strokes and ending up with a different sexual orientation (actually only two cases I know of and there's reason for healthy skepticism).

But people who are gay do not choose to be. In medieval Europe gay men were burned at the stake. Why would anyone choose a sexual orientation where that's the consequence? Why in a free and open society should people have to hide who they are or hide their affection for another person?

Because I don't believe in giving ratings based on identity I gave James a couple thumbs up ratings when I thought he deserved it. But that was an awful post unless it was meant as a joke.

[tsadriana]

Does anyone see the irony in this thread lol
I do:mad::mad::mad:

[trish]

Are you suggesting that your father get it about you sleeping with the same sex? No, that wasn't the point of the story. But never mind 'cause you got point via a different route, e.g.
that's like saying 2 +2=78!!!Indeed that was the point about biological hardwiring and my father's inability to override his biological disgust. My further point is that oft times this incommensurable points of view and fears (some of which I also mentioned) lead to prejudicial hatred and political suppression. So in response to your original post, I think homophobia exists, is not a misnomer, but is not the whole story.


Africans were hated for their complexion which you can't change, a gay person can change and please don't say they can't because some have.No they have not. Though people can learn to suppress their natures. It usually takes its toll in other psychiatric disorders, cardiovascular disease etc.

[onmyknees]

I know lot’s of young guys who are afraid that if they are friendly with gays or lesbians or transsexuals, or if they express a tolerance toward gays, then they would be taunted themselves by that appellation. “So?” I inquire. “If my friends call me gay it’ll get around and I’ll never get laid by a girl again,” is the reply. There are a lot of illogical leaps in passing to that conclusion, but the fear of being called “gay” is real. I can see it in their eyes. They fear the appellation will diminish their chances to find and bond with a girl. So that’s one kind of fear that straight guys contend with relative to lgbt issues.

Another fear is of the latant bisexual desires that are normal, but suppressed and bottled away under pressure by many straight men. Gotta keep the cap on that thing ya know.

I also think there’s a biologically hardwired disgust. When my own father finally confronted my true sexuality he gasped in near disbelief, “You suck other guy’s cocks?”, then turned his head and spit in disgust at the thought of sucking a cock. “Look Dad, Mom sucks yours, right?” I still don’t think he can get his head around the actual act of same sex sex or transgender sex.

Why do you think someone’s lifestyle, which should have absolutely nothing to do with what happens in another person’s house or marriage, would be so vociferously disliked by people not participating in that lifestyle? It’s more than a matter of preference. It’s a matter of politically imposing heteosexuality and politically suppressing homosexuality. That kind of hatred comes from somewhere. I think it comes from fear and biological disposition.


Interesting post until the last paragraph. Your last paragraph seems to completely contradict your first. These young dudes you speak of....while I agree with your antidotal evidence, it sounds to me like it's hardly politics driving their fear and disdain. Ignorance perhaps, but none the fear driven by people they interact with socially. It's pressure from within their pier group. And the story you relayed about your own father would indicate that his loathing was apolitical. He had other reasons.
I'm sure there are more than a few people that share your fathers position, in fact I know there are because I've met them.....but my antidotal evidence tells me the vast majority are either indifferent to the lifestyle, or agnostic about it. Most people simply don't care to know what goes on in my bedroom...or yours. That's not to be confused with total acceptance or understanding. Some people while agreeing with equality in employment, lifestyles, and legal opportunities draw the line at marriage. They have reconciled those differences. Who am I to tell them that conclusion is bullshit? Who is anybody for that matter? Many gay people I argue with about this issue take an all or nothing approach. Either you accept every aspect of their lifestyle or you're a hater. That leaves no room for middle ground or growth. In that way the discussion may resemble politics, but it's not political in my view.

I hesitate to bring race into this, but will do so in this narrow context. Both by polls taken, and my own expierence indicate that African-Americans by a wide margin do not favor gay marriage, yet 97% would side with you in nearly every other political category....so it's not nearly as politically lineal as you would have us believe. IMO.

[trish]

These young dudes you speak of....while I agree with your antidotal evidence, it sounds to me like it's hardly politics driving their fear and disdain.I agree. I never said politics was their motiviation, but rather their politics is driven by their fears and biological dispositions.

[Dino Velvet]

I'd consider myself a homophobe if I went to a gay person's house and was concerned about passing out on his couch after I'd been drinking. But I don't worry about being carjacked driving through WeHo.


pho·bi·a/ˈfōbēə/

Noun:An extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something: "he had a phobia about being under water"; "a phobia of germs".

[trish]

It's probably just projection; can a girl trust you if she passed out on your couch? :)

[Dino Velvet]

It's probably just projection; can a girl trust you if she passed out on your couch? :)

Try it sometime.

http://www.drinkoftheweek.com/wp-content/thumbnails/32691.jpg

[broncofan]

Yes, Trish said there's political suppression and it's driven by fear and biological disposition.

Unfortunately I think we will find out that many prejudices have biological underpinnings as well. Can it be overcome with education? Would that sort of education be brainwashing?

I don't think so. There are certain things that you can only learn from experience. If for instance you have a gay relative or someone who is gay has been helpful in your life, that can be a learning experience. Most of all education is a great way to eradicate continued mythology about homosexuals and their aims. Are homosexuals hedonists or were they precluded from mainstream life? Are homosexuals choosing to engage in sexual activities that are not accepted for some unknown reason?

When we say that something is biological or fear-driven we are often saying it is the product of ignorance. I know Trish is an expert in the sciences and is therefore aware of what part of our brains developed last in our evolutionary history. Fear is often a primitive response, but understanding and compassion are much more evolved features.

[natina]

Homophobic gays
http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/showthread.php?t=57214

Homophobic Men Most Aroused by Gay Male Porn
http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/showthread.php?t=71310

[jamesedwards]

Does anyone see the irony in this thread lol

Yes I do right after Your "HOMO" remarks lol hahah glad you could make the thread lol

[jamesedwards]

I have been meeting a lot of guys lately that seem to be homophobic.

In fact, I have honestly met more homophobic homosexuals then heterosexuals.

This is my message to those homo's who hate on homo's.]


JAMES <----------------FELL THE FUCK OUT LAUGHING REAL HARD :dead-1:

[amberskyi]

Yes I do right after Your "HOMO" remarks lol hahah glad you could make the thread lol

I don't do see homosexuals or homosexual desire as a negative.please don't project...

[jamesedwards]

I don't do see homosexuals or homosexual desire as a negative.please don't project...


Hey Amber remember what you said "I CALL PEOPLE WHAT I WANT" ummmmmmm so I am going to run that back to you "I DO WHAT I WANT" lol LOL LMAO

[natina]

Homophobic Gay Guys - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaChXj0wjbs)


ARE YOU GAY? - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjAVa9RAfWQ)

Larry King To Eric Massa - "Are You Gay?" - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzdwLdNvOzk)

You are gay - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsVpdBIi1BU)

[jamesedwards]

dammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm