natina
10-10-2012, 08:42 AM
http://mommyhasapottymouth.com/unbelievably-sarcastic-reviews-of-veet-for-men-hair-removal-gel-creme-on-amazon-1627/
Amazon.com: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200ml: Health & Personal Care@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/416VQTXkTXL.@@AMEPARAM@@416VQTXkTXL (http://www.amazon.com/Veet-Hair-Removal-Creme-200ml/dp/B000KKNQBK/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top)
http://mommyhasapottymouth.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/veet-2.jpg
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
799 of 812 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A warning from across the pond... (http://www.amazon.com/review/R2QP56S5P2DEGA/ref=cm_cr_dp_title/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000KKNQBK&nodeID=3760901&store=hpc) July 3, 2012
By Amazon.com: Profile for A. Chappell@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/416VQTXkTXL.@@AMEPARAM@@416VQTXkTXL (http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A2MK841G552A2D/ref=cm_cr_dp_pdp/187-9802543-0875148)
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considerd myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen.
I didn't have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me.
The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...:)
Amazon.com: A. Chappell's review of Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200ml@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/416VQTXkTXL.@@AMEPARAM@@416VQTXkTXL (http://www.amazon.com/review/R2QP56S5P2DEGA/ref=cm_cr_dp_cmt/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000KKNQBK&nodeID=3760901&store=hpc#wasThisHelpful) |
Was this review helpful to you?
[url]http://www.amazon.com/gp/voting/cast/Reviews/2115/R2QP56S5P2DEGA/Helpful/1/ref=cm_cr_dp_voteyn_yes/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&target=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5hbWF6b24uY29tL2dwL3Byb2R1Y3Q vQjAwMEtLTlFCSy9yZWY9Y21fY3JfZHB2b3RlcmRyLzE4Ny05O DAyNTQzLTA4NzUxNDg&token=7A16AA14869E10F13624D8095C29AD1956BE7D08&voteAnchorName=R2QP56S5P2DEGA.2115.Helpful.Reviews&voteSessionID=187-9802543-0875148
http://www.amazon.com/gp/voting/cast/Reviews/2115/R2QP56S5P2DEGA/Helpful/-1/ref=cm_cr_dp_voteyn_no/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&target=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5hbWF6b24uY29tL2dwL3Byb2R1Y3Q vQjAwMEtLTlFCSy9yZWY9Y21fY3JfZHB2b3RlcmRyLzE4Ny05O DAyNTQzLTA4NzUxNDg&token=76FCC64265087E22EF289C12E85F76967A4585DB&voteAnchorName=R2QP56S5P2DEGA.2115.Helpful.Reviews&voteSessionID=187-9802543-0875148
193 of 199 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS (http://www.amazon.com/review/R3KBG0X1DUB2JP/ref=cm_cr_dp_title/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000KKNQBK&nodeID=3760901&store=hpc) May 11, 2012
By Amazon.com: Profile for Randy Amarus@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/416VQTXkTXL.@@AMEPARAM@@416VQTXkTXL (http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A33X1JB5Q7GTXB/ref=cm_cr_dp_pdp/187-9802543-0875148)
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.
(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)
Amazon.com: Randy Amarus' review of Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200ml@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/416VQTXkTXL.@@AMEPARAM@@416VQTXkTXL (http://www.amazon.com/review/R3KBG0X1DUB2JP/ref=cm_cr_dp_cmt/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000KKNQBK&nodeID=3760901&store=hpc#wasThisHelpful) |
Was this review helpful to you?
[url]http://www.amazon.com/gp/voting/cast/Reviews/2115/R3KBG0X1DUB2JP/Helpful/1/ref=cm_cr_dp_voteyn_yes/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&target=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5hbWF6b24uY29tL2dwL3Byb2R1Y3Q vQjAwMEtLTlFCSy9yZWY9Y21fY3JfZHB2b3RlcmRyLzE4Ny05O DAyNTQzLTA4NzUxNDg&token=598BDBCCCC9C94330C296A03CF9498BD38F8EE76&voteAnchorName=R3KBG0X1DUB2JP.2115.Helpful.Reviews&voteSessionID=187-9802543-0875148
http://www.amazon.com/gp/voting/cast/Reviews/2115/R3KBG0X1DUB2JP/Helpful/-1/ref=cm_cr_dp_voteyn_no/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&target=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5hbWF6b24uY29tL2dwL3Byb2R1Y3Q vQjAwMEtLTlFCSy9yZWY9Y21fY3JfZHB2b3RlcmRyLzE4Ny05O DAyNTQzLTA4NzUxNDg&token=6B7A790159438A83236CF95ADFD83DF2BB4C5733&voteAnchorName=R3KBG0X1DUB2JP.2115.Helpful.Reviews&voteSessionID=187-9802543-0875148
47 of 51 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars [url]just the ticket for stag dos, rugby tours and the like (http://www.amazon.com/review/R3TETNKWUVA50P/ref=cm_cr_dp_title/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000KKNQBK&nodeID=3760901&store=hpc) June 18, 2012
By Amazon.com: Profile for P. Gill@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/416VQTXkTXL.@@AMEPARAM@@416VQTXkTXL (http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A2XYU6P4BHOD9K/ref=cm_cr_dp_pdp/187-9802543-0875148)
Whilst not wanting to flog the concept to death, my review does not involve applying veet to the undercarriage. I'm somewhat of a legend scrumhalf (and lothario) in Pontyberem Rugby Football Club where I'm known for my killer haircuts. Over the years I've sported the George Michael (last Christmas) look, the Steve Beaton (the best looking man in darts) mullet and more recently, despite my advancing years and thinning pate, the Justin Beiber look.
However, I recently made the fatal mistake of falling asleep in the clubhouse after drinking 3 pints of ice, laced with Magners Cider. I was awoken by two things just after Russ McDougall (capped once for the Scottish barbarians in 1973) had given his after dinner speech; the smell of marinated ribs cooking on a barbeque and the sensation of boiling water being poured on my bonce.
I ran to the toilets only to find that it was too late to save my already thinning thatch. Hair and chunks of melting flesh were coming out in handfuls. Such was the mess that the paramedic who took me to the burns unit said the scene reminded him of the night he watched Saw IX in 3D without the glasses on, whilst eating a large bag of Tangy Cheese Doritos. I'm now known as `Mars' as my noggins resembles the surface of the red planet and I look like Telly Savalas, who has spent 3 consecutive days sunbathing in Chernobyl. That said it's the stuff of legends. So for stag dos, or crazy rugby tours where some sap gets tucked up by his `mates', veet gets 5 stars from me.
Amazon.com: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200ml: Health & Personal Care@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/416VQTXkTXL.@@AMEPARAM@@416VQTXkTXL (http://www.amazon.com/Veet-Hair-Removal-Creme-200ml/dp/B000KKNQBK/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top)
http://mommyhasapottymouth.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/veet-2.jpg
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
799 of 812 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A warning from across the pond... (http://www.amazon.com/review/R2QP56S5P2DEGA/ref=cm_cr_dp_title/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000KKNQBK&nodeID=3760901&store=hpc) July 3, 2012
By Amazon.com: Profile for A. Chappell@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/416VQTXkTXL.@@AMEPARAM@@416VQTXkTXL (http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A2MK841G552A2D/ref=cm_cr_dp_pdp/187-9802543-0875148)
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considerd myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen.
I didn't have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me.
The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...:)
Amazon.com: A. Chappell's review of Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200ml@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/416VQTXkTXL.@@AMEPARAM@@416VQTXkTXL (http://www.amazon.com/review/R2QP56S5P2DEGA/ref=cm_cr_dp_cmt/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000KKNQBK&nodeID=3760901&store=hpc#wasThisHelpful) |
Was this review helpful to you?
[url]http://www.amazon.com/gp/voting/cast/Reviews/2115/R2QP56S5P2DEGA/Helpful/1/ref=cm_cr_dp_voteyn_yes/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&target=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5hbWF6b24uY29tL2dwL3Byb2R1Y3Q vQjAwMEtLTlFCSy9yZWY9Y21fY3JfZHB2b3RlcmRyLzE4Ny05O DAyNTQzLTA4NzUxNDg&token=7A16AA14869E10F13624D8095C29AD1956BE7D08&voteAnchorName=R2QP56S5P2DEGA.2115.Helpful.Reviews&voteSessionID=187-9802543-0875148
http://www.amazon.com/gp/voting/cast/Reviews/2115/R2QP56S5P2DEGA/Helpful/-1/ref=cm_cr_dp_voteyn_no/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&target=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5hbWF6b24uY29tL2dwL3Byb2R1Y3Q vQjAwMEtLTlFCSy9yZWY9Y21fY3JfZHB2b3RlcmRyLzE4Ny05O DAyNTQzLTA4NzUxNDg&token=76FCC64265087E22EF289C12E85F76967A4585DB&voteAnchorName=R2QP56S5P2DEGA.2115.Helpful.Reviews&voteSessionID=187-9802543-0875148
193 of 199 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS (http://www.amazon.com/review/R3KBG0X1DUB2JP/ref=cm_cr_dp_title/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000KKNQBK&nodeID=3760901&store=hpc) May 11, 2012
By Amazon.com: Profile for Randy Amarus@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/416VQTXkTXL.@@AMEPARAM@@416VQTXkTXL (http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A33X1JB5Q7GTXB/ref=cm_cr_dp_pdp/187-9802543-0875148)
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.
(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)
Amazon.com: Randy Amarus' review of Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200ml@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/416VQTXkTXL.@@AMEPARAM@@416VQTXkTXL (http://www.amazon.com/review/R3KBG0X1DUB2JP/ref=cm_cr_dp_cmt/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000KKNQBK&nodeID=3760901&store=hpc#wasThisHelpful) |
Was this review helpful to you?
[url]http://www.amazon.com/gp/voting/cast/Reviews/2115/R3KBG0X1DUB2JP/Helpful/1/ref=cm_cr_dp_voteyn_yes/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&target=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5hbWF6b24uY29tL2dwL3Byb2R1Y3Q vQjAwMEtLTlFCSy9yZWY9Y21fY3JfZHB2b3RlcmRyLzE4Ny05O DAyNTQzLTA4NzUxNDg&token=598BDBCCCC9C94330C296A03CF9498BD38F8EE76&voteAnchorName=R3KBG0X1DUB2JP.2115.Helpful.Reviews&voteSessionID=187-9802543-0875148
http://www.amazon.com/gp/voting/cast/Reviews/2115/R3KBG0X1DUB2JP/Helpful/-1/ref=cm_cr_dp_voteyn_no/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&target=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5hbWF6b24uY29tL2dwL3Byb2R1Y3Q vQjAwMEtLTlFCSy9yZWY9Y21fY3JfZHB2b3RlcmRyLzE4Ny05O DAyNTQzLTA4NzUxNDg&token=6B7A790159438A83236CF95ADFD83DF2BB4C5733&voteAnchorName=R3KBG0X1DUB2JP.2115.Helpful.Reviews&voteSessionID=187-9802543-0875148
47 of 51 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars [url]just the ticket for stag dos, rugby tours and the like (http://www.amazon.com/review/R3TETNKWUVA50P/ref=cm_cr_dp_title/187-9802543-0875148?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B000KKNQBK&nodeID=3760901&store=hpc) June 18, 2012
By Amazon.com: Profile for P. Gill@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/416VQTXkTXL.@@AMEPARAM@@416VQTXkTXL (http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A2XYU6P4BHOD9K/ref=cm_cr_dp_pdp/187-9802543-0875148)
Whilst not wanting to flog the concept to death, my review does not involve applying veet to the undercarriage. I'm somewhat of a legend scrumhalf (and lothario) in Pontyberem Rugby Football Club where I'm known for my killer haircuts. Over the years I've sported the George Michael (last Christmas) look, the Steve Beaton (the best looking man in darts) mullet and more recently, despite my advancing years and thinning pate, the Justin Beiber look.
However, I recently made the fatal mistake of falling asleep in the clubhouse after drinking 3 pints of ice, laced with Magners Cider. I was awoken by two things just after Russ McDougall (capped once for the Scottish barbarians in 1973) had given his after dinner speech; the smell of marinated ribs cooking on a barbeque and the sensation of boiling water being poured on my bonce.
I ran to the toilets only to find that it was too late to save my already thinning thatch. Hair and chunks of melting flesh were coming out in handfuls. Such was the mess that the paramedic who took me to the burns unit said the scene reminded him of the night he watched Saw IX in 3D without the glasses on, whilst eating a large bag of Tangy Cheese Doritos. I'm now known as `Mars' as my noggins resembles the surface of the red planet and I look like Telly Savalas, who has spent 3 consecutive days sunbathing in Chernobyl. That said it's the stuff of legends. So for stag dos, or crazy rugby tours where some sap gets tucked up by his `mates', veet gets 5 stars from me.