Do friends with benefits ever end well

[lifeisfiction]

I met this young lady and we had a great connection chatting a few times. Sweet person, however I explain that I am very busy and don't really have the time to commit to relationship, plus we don't live close by each other. I rather have relationship I can commit a 100% to or not at all. So she suggests we can start as friends possibly with benefits. I don't think fwb has ever ended well for anyone I know in my experience, but I said I would give it a try.

Has anyone ever had it end well?

[LibertyHarkness]

i dont think so .. its very hard to retain a good friendship afterwards etc ...

[Dino Velvet]

Friends with benefits can be bad. Neighbors with benefits can be a real disaster unless one's a renter.

[Prospero]

Nope. Doesn't work.

[rodinuk]

I rather have relationship I can commit a 100% to or not at all

There. In a nutshell. That's why it's not going to work, sorry.

[Dino Velvet]

Nope. Doesn't work.

That's what escorts are for. Keeps fellas outta trouble.

[lifeisfiction]

Thanks for the input. I will probably discuss it further. I expressed my concerns about it ending badly, but she is persistent that we try the option. FWB is just so problematic. Still, the temptation of sex can make people do silly things.

[alpha2117]

She clearly likes you and hopes that by doing the FWB thing it might develop into something more. This of course means that Friends without benefits is no longer an option because if a woman suggests FWB status and you say no then you just rejected her and no woman can stay friends with a man who rejects her long term. At this point if you are attracted to her then go with it - if not then be prepared for that friendship to implode sometime shortly after you say No to FWB status.

Had you suggested FWB and she said No it would be different - guys expect women to say no - if they do we just live with it. For girls it's an insult no matter how nicely you say no.

[onmyknees]

Sure it can work but the odds are against it. If you're both of the same mind set, and fully respectful of each other and realize the relationships limitations....there's no reason it can't work. I have several friendships like that, but they require some maintenance. You can't show up after weeks of no contact, fuck her brains out and run out afterward like the house is on fire. That only works if you leave a gratuity ! If you're asking can it develop into something more, then I'd say probably not, but anything's possible....and more than likely at some point one will push for something more substantial, but hell all relationships end at some point...it doesn't mean it has to end badly. If you need additional advice, call the producers on the Dr. Phil show !

[amberskyi]

to a guy friends with benefits mean some chick he can fuck on the regular.
to girls it means a guy she can actually hang out with,spend time,do fun things and also be intimate with non of the commitment or loss of freedom.

[Quiet Reflections]

I have had it work a few times and I'm still friends with them. One I hang out with all the time and we are both currently in other relationships with people that know our past together. If people are honest with each other it can work, but most people don't know themselves well enough to be in a friends with benefits situation.

[DL_NL]

I've had one FWB arrangement turn into a proper relationship, and one just fizzle out and end after a coupla years. No negative experiences (yet).

[lifeisfiction]

to girls it means a guy she can actually hang out with,spend time,do fun things and also be intimate with non of the commitment or loss of freedom.

Thats what she is looking for and I have no problems with that. I know she is not looking for a fuckbuddy, but a friend that she can be intimate with. I have seen it work a few times and a lot of times it doesn't. I am not person who normally seeks it out. I was curious to what others thought.

[amberskyi]

Thats what she is looking for and I have no problems with that. I know she is not looking for a fuckbuddy, but a friend that she can be intimate with. I have seen it work a few times and a lot of times it doesn't. I am not person who normally seeks it out. I was curious to what others thought.

most times feelings will develop...thats just how it is when your screwing someone you actually like and is cool *shrugs*

[BeardedOne]

That's what escorts are for. Keeps fellas outta trouble.

What Dino said. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work out that way. TW once described me to a friend as a guy "Who keeps his heart in his dick", meaning that I get attached too easily to my bedmates. Just because I've rented your real estate doesn't necessarily mean that I don't want to be a long-term tenant. I've already had this come up a couple of times, once by jealousy (I pondered about whether or not she had 'too many' lovers) and once by worry (Just because I paid you to anoint my tonsils doesn't mean that I can't care about you). It can get touchy.


This of course means that Friends without benefits is no longer an option because if a woman suggests FWB status and you say no then you just rejected her and no woman can stay friends with a man who rejects her long term.

and...

For girls it's an insult no matter how nicely you say no.

Not always so. I have had one situation in my life where the woman blatantly came on to me with an FWB offer (To the point of discussing a marriage of convenience) and I politely declined (Several times). Though the offer still comes up from time to time, she understands that my head and heart (And dick) just aren't in tune to the offer and we remain close friends to this day.


most times feelings will develop...thats just how it is when your screwing someone you actually like and is cool *shrugs*

THIS!

It is my blessing, it is my curse. :crap

[lifeisfiction]

Its that feelings part that is problem. Emotional attachment when you are hoping to avoid it can cause problems. Oh well I thinking too much, life is short you're going to make a decision that you will regret at some point and time. It cannot be avoided.

[buttslinger]

One Day you kids are going to wake up and realize friends always lat you down in the end. Look out for yourself, don't do anything you'll regret forever, and treat your friends the way you'd like them to treat you. And if you ever get a shot at Amber, take it!!! ha ha. Boys will be boys.

[SammiValentine]

destined to come to a sticky end.

[CaptainPlanet]

I have had quite a few FWB that turned out good, in the long run. There all cool friends now, so it depends on how the communication is between both parties.

[ew86riv]

i think for it to end well you two needs to be real friends first. you can't fuck each other and then after when a relationship doesnt seem like it can work say you'll be friends with benefits. i met a girl almost 4 years ago and we've been friends with benefits since, but we didn't have sex for almost 6 months beforehand when we first met.

[speedking59]

had a couple of these types of friendships. one with a GG lasted for a little over a year until we kind of drifted apart. the other was with a TG that lasted for a couple of years until she moved out of the area. we kept in touch for awhile but then lost track of each other.

[south ov da border]

no it does not end well, even if it does end happily...

[Lirking]

destined to come to a sticky end.
That's not always a bad thing :P

[EvonRose]

Depends...

what did you guys agree on? Personally I hate men who are afraid or don't want commitment, its like just let it flow. if you set too many rules, human nature is to break it.

[kaiser1one]

I had a FWB. We got along great. But then she got the herp from some asshole. Now we not FWB just friends.

[northshoreman52]

works great if expectations are aligned

[Dino Velvet]

I had a FWB. We got along great. But then she got the herp from some asshole. Now we not FWB just friends.

Guess she had a FWB(Fella With a Blister) herself.

[Absarokah]

They do as long as there's an understanding between each other. I've had many friends that turned out to be lovers and managed to stay connected through the years.
It's easy to get confused between lust & friendship, if those 2 concepts never get crossed, the friendship strengthens and can last...as long as jealousy and love remains out of the picture.
And then there's the friendship that turns out to be more than that, the kind that was meant to grow into a lasting relationship.
If it doesn't end well, it's usually because someone read too much into it.

[GrimFusion]

to a guy friends with benefits mean some chick he can fuck on the regular.

You're talking about a booty call, not friends with benefits and there are differences between the two where most guys are concerned. With booty calls, there's always an expectation for sex and if it doesn't happen, dude's got every right to be pissy about it. Friends with benefits shouldn't have that expectation. The point is just having a good time and even though sex would probably make that good time even better, if it doesn't happen, most guys are just happy they weren't stuck at home alone all night. I'd never offer a booty call take-out, a couple of movie rentals, and a night spent chillin', nor would I invite a booty call along for a road trip. See the difference?

[GrimFusion]

Depends...

what did you guys agree on? Personally I hate men who are afraid or don't want commitment, its like just let it flow. if you set too many rules, human nature is to break it.

How can you "just let it flow" and at the same time, expect some kind of commitment? That's quite the opposite of letting whatever happens happen.

[GrimFusion]

I met this young lady and we had a great connection chatting a few times. Sweet person, however I explain that I am very busy and don't really have the time to commit to relationship, plus we don't live close by each other. I rather have relationship I can commit a 100% to or not at all. So she suggests we can start as friends possibly with benefits. I don't think fwb has ever ended well for anyone I know in my experience, but I said I would give it a try.

Has anyone ever had it end well?

It almost sounds like you're trying to say you don't want a relationship, but more specifically; you don't want a relationship with her. If that's what it is, that's okay. It's not selfish to be a little picky about who you end up with so long as she understands it can't go any further than a booty call because that's all you're looking for at this point in your life. That might fuck up your chances getting laid, but at least it'll save having a long heart-wrenching discussion some number of months down the road when you find out she's emotionally attached.

I've only had issues with past FWB once I get into a relationship. Most of my girlfriends don't take too kindly to the idea that I'm chillin' with a chick I used to fuck even if I am capable of keeping things platonic. Monogamy and sexual insecurities go hand-in-hand.

[Bunsdk]

Works like a charm.

It all depends on who you are and who you do it with.

I have pretty much liven my life being in fwb's. And it only ever ended bad once. And that was with one I chose with my dick tbh.
She was in no way capable of on being reasonable about it and constantly expected it to grow into more. When she found out it wouldnt. She went nuts.
And she still hates my guts lol... So be it.

Horrible choice, horrible ending.

But... from the 20-30 odd fwbs ive been through, through the last 20 years, thats the only one.

You never start something like this with an imotionally dictated person, and certainly not an unstable ones.

Make sure the lines are drawn, and end it the instant its crossed. Once crossed, there is most often no going back without someone getting hurt.
And for the love of god, be honest every step of the way...


I personally just simply cant commit to a relationship (feel free to disect why, you wont ever get it right :D) so I keep friends with benefits to get my sexual needs met. I like it this way, and it works well.

[BluegrassCat]

What's ending well? Marriage? Kidnapping? Angry butt-sex?

[nysprod]

Depends on how many benefits were obtained from the friend...and remember, money doesn't talk...it SCREAMS!

[GrimFusion]

Depends on how many benefits were obtained from the friend...and remember, money doesn't talk...it SCREAMS!

Wait, are you trying to say that your previous FWB's have all been escorts, or that you just have really crappy FWB's who expect you to buy them shit before they put out? Hell, dude... may as well hit up the escorts. It's the same premise, but at least they won't stick around afterward and beg you to take them out for an expensive dinner.

[nysprod]

Wait, are you trying to say that your previous FWB's have all been escorts, or that you just have really crappy FWB's who expect you to buy them shit before they put out? Hell, dude... may as well hit up the escorts. It's the same premise, but at least they won't stick around afterward and beg you to take them out for an expensive dinner.

Dude...relax!

[GrimFusion]

Dude...relax!

Sounds like a damn good reason to toke up to me.
I wasn't being irate or pissy; I just swear a lot. I guess the internet does a pretty good job of masking my intent, though. Half of my post was a joke, but I asked because I couldn't make any sense out of your post. Probably because there was no sense to be made, right? Awesome.