Trans attracted men are the most alienated minorities

[soul4real]

can we be defined as a minority? lol But I really think men who are attracted to transsexuals are really face prejudice from all sides. I mean of course this is the pot calling the kettle black, voicing this to transgender people who are courageous enough to live their life for their own happiness despite family, friends or societal judgments. I dig it, that takes more strengthen to see through then most people step outside of their comfort boundaries ever I agree. But at the same sense I feel the stigma ladies attach to "tranny chasers" still gets over bearing. This rant stems from two incidents, the first the "tranny chasser" Facebook pages girls have outing dudes, and telling stories. That doesn't sit well with me for many reasons, in some I think its justifiable. Hey do guys oogle, and google chicks all day, finding out info thats online that I'm sure a girl wouldn't volunteer? Yes. But the difference is, this also provides girls to just one sided slander dudes. Who's to say this jealous chick isn't just lying, or hating, or who's to say she's not the villain in the story. Plus who is to say just because this dude treated you this way, he will treat the next girl the same. No one does the same thing in relationships. I guess that's the point of making a group as such, dudes lie about the inent of a relationship. But still. what if he was willing to and you prejudged? The second thing that made me think that Tranny chasers get kicked down as the scum of the earth was attempting to talk to a beautiful, fly, curvacious and evilly torturous lady on another website. I'm not gonna put her out there so i hope she doesn't read this and want to out me :( lol But on her page it said something to the effect " I wouldn't talk to a str8 guy on a gay site like this, plus if you have nude pics your nasty". Being that i was like pouring my e-heart out to ole girl in hopes to spark a convo and get to know her, I personally took offense to that.

which again brings me to the topic of this. If us as men feel the pressure of internally coming to grips for many your attraction,. then the external pressures of family friends and society, the added bonus of the very ladies your attracted to placing judgements on you is just DAMN.

Is this just me being hurt and sensitive or is there truth to the alienation of us men?

[Paladin]

My advice, stay off facebook!

[giovanni_hotel]

I cosign.

It's rough out here being somewhat open that you're into tgirls. I just got fag-bombed on another site for saying I would fuck the shit out of a TG some random member posted.
Next thing I know, there's an onslaught of posters telling me I don't know a pussy from an asshole, 'you a fag, dude', do you spit or swallow, etc. I was very sad.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fTT9xlgZ9CU/TQkdB72w_oI/AAAAAAAAuIo/JqHotwNG6DM/s1600/dogsadd.jpg

The women are the worst, telling me just to come out because it's obvious you like MEN.
It's too bad the OP had to deal with a vindictive T, but that's probably her own problem and not him. Sometimes TGs are psycho/crazy, but many are really nicer than your average chick IMO.

If a transchick doesn't find herself beautiful, she's going to be repulsed to discover another person, especially a man, is sexually attracted to her. Crazy.

[qwerty94]

I think sexuality is something that is so complex and personal, yet so primitive. You generally know from an early age who you are attracted to- throw transexual women into the mix and it totally fucks everything up. I feel like TS women sometimes forget how difficult the men who are attracted to us have it. For us, we have generally had time to accept the fact that we are women who happen to be transexual. many of us come out as gay first and then come out as trans later. for cisgender, heterosexual men, coming out is kind of a foreign concept- they've never had to do it. I feel like we forget it a lot of times and we expect the men to do and say everything exactly the way we think they should, and when they don't we take it as either a red flag or just unintentionally hurtful... idk... i dont think i even really stayed on topic(just kinda rambling)


ETA: in our defense, or at least mine, sometimes it is a defense mechanism. I wanted to know the guy who said he liked me and wanted to be with me, liked me for me and not just because i had a penis. That is part of the reason I started dating stealth. I didn't want my status as a pre-op transexual woman to be a prerequisite or a dealbreaker

[giovanni_hotel]

Good points, qwerty94.
The few girls I've met IRL were cool, so it was easier for me to be 'out' with them about my attraction. Very non judgmental.

[soul4real]

I think sexuality is something that is so complex and personal, yet so primitive. You generally know from an early age who you are attracted to- throw transexual women into the mix and it totally fucks everything up. I feel like TS women sometimes forget how difficult the men who are attracted to us have it. For us, we have generally had time to accept the fact that we are women who happen to be transexual. many of us come out as gay first and then come out as trans later. for cisgender, heterosexual men, coming out is kind of a foreign concept- they've never had to do it. I feel like we forget it a lot of times and we expect the men to do and say everything exactly the way we think they should, and when they don't we take it as either a red flag or just unintentionally hurtful... idk... i dont think i even really stayed on topic(just kinda rambling)




ETA: in our defense, or at least mine, sometimes it is a defense mechanism. I wanted to know the guy who said he likes me and wanted to be with me, liked me for me and not just because i had a penis. That is part of the reason I started dating stealth. I didn't want my status as a pre-op transexual woman to be a prerequisite or a dealbreaker


Wow Thank you very well put.. You really articulated what I was feeling, the fact that its something foreign to us, that you ladies have dealt with since you could remember.

[bimale69]

Speaking of facebook, aol's "transgender m2f" room is good for destroying freindships and relationships, lot of jealous fighting, lovers fighting, and an evil being known as "Luke" thats likes to attack people with vile homphobic/transphobic, racist insults(he's a closeted gay who was married but chases cock in secret from his ex-wife & kids).

[hippifried]

Shhhhhhhh... Keep talking about "alienation", & they're liable to ship you back to Mars.

[soul4real]

[/URL]

Giovanni your right when a lady hits you with the "you like men" shit. its so frustraitng and sad at the same time. Like ok cool I'm dealing with my attraction to ladies like yourself, and being open and seeing you for woman, then you go and try to belittle me with this. Really.. Self hate shooting outward :(
[URL="http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/member.php?u=55053"] (http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/member.php?u=55053)

[maddygirl]

I don't think there's anything wrong with liking pre-op trans girls, as long as the girl is comfortable being pre-op and having a relationship. Personally, to think that a guy who I'd potentially be interested in likes penis is a deal breaker, but on the other hand I find it really amazing that a guy could love girls like us pre-surgery. It all depends on the comfortability of the girl and her potential boyfriend I guess.

[rydermorrison]

I def sympathize with u guys.. Some trans women are def self deprecating to the point of lunacy. That being said their are certain things that you just dont say to a tgirl if you're looking to date them... For instance.. today a guy was flirting with me on the internet. He introduced himself and then immediately felt compelled to tell me that he's never been with a tgirl or a man but he thinks about it all the time. I have a bf so i'm not available regardless, but if I was, this guy would have just totally disqualified himself from having a chance at any type of relationship with me..

[soul4real]

I def sympathize with u guys.. Some trans women are def self deprecating to the point of lunacy. That being said their are certain things that you just dont say to a tgirl if you're looking to date them... For instance.. today a guy was flirting with me on the internet. He introduced himself and then immediately felt compelled to tell me that he's never been with a tgirl or a man but he thinks about it all the time. I have a bf so i'm not available regardless, but if I was, this guy would have just totally disqualified himself from having a chance at any type of relationship with me..


I agree a guy taking like a jerk being a perv, unable to hold a decent convo with out being sleezy is a lame regardless and should be cut off. I'm all for that. but to label a dude from the jump with out even talking to him.. Prejudice at its finest lol

[rydermorrison]

I agree a guy taking like a jerk being a perv, unable to hold a decent convo with out being sleezy is a lame regardless and should be cut off. I'm all for that. but to label a dude from the jump with out even talking to him.. Prejudice at its finest lol

i agree... and i def dont agree with it... but with the amount of chasers that approach us daily i honestly understand how some trans girls get so jaded...

[soul4real]

i agree... and i def dont agree with it... but with the amount of chasers that approach us daily i honestly understand how some trans girls get so jaded...


yeah I can easily see how it can become frustrating. One question I have though that is related to this. Maybe it should be its on thread lol.. With the rise of the internet, do ladies welcome the attention as oppose to pre-internet times? I'm not versed enough in my transgendered history to know, but I would imagine transgender popularity even from a fetish stand point would have to be at an all time high. and to a girl transitioning or living life as woman full time in coure de lane, idaho, I would imagine even if it became tiresome the feeling of attention and attraction would have to feel good. agree?

[giovanni_hotel]

LOL.

Guys fuck things up for themselves before things ever get started. IMO if you wouldn't approach or say it to a GG you were trying to hook up with, you shouldn't say it to a TG either.

BTW Ryder, two BFs are better than one!

[soul4real]

LOL.

Guys fuck things up for themselves before things ever get started. IMO if you wouldn't approach or say it to a GG you were trying to hook up with, you shouldn't say it to a TG either.

BTW Ryder, two BFs are better than one!



Honestly I really find that so dumb that guys disrespect trans woman with shit they wouldnt say to ggs. I mean i can't say im the most chivrous dude in the world. But for the most part I say and talk the excat same. But with that being said i have a smart/dirty mouth period lol

[rydermorrison]

yeah I can easily see how it can become frustrating. One question I have though that is related to this. Maybe it should be its on thread lol.. With the rise of the internet, do ladies welcome the attention as oppose to pre-internet times? I'm not versed enough in my transgendered history to know, but I would imagine transgender popularity even from a fetish stand point would have to be at an all time high. and to a girl transitioning or living life as woman full time in coure de lane, idaho, I would imagine even if it became tiresome the feeling of attention and attraction would have to feel good. agree?

hmmmm... i suppose if i was only getting attention from guys into trans women it could get tiresome..but thats just me (and my ego)..but if those guys were all chasers then it would get tiresome extremely fast..(and it does lol)

[rydermorrison]

LOL.

Guys fuck things up for themselves before things ever get started. IMO if you wouldn't approach or say it to a GG you were trying to hook up with, you shouldn't say it to a TG either.

BTW Ryder, two BFs are better than one!

lmao.. ive met all types of chasers... I still escort so i get to meet guys from the whole spectrum... needless to say ive met more weirdo's then i could ever count..but i've also met alot of really cool/decent men. Often times these guys will say all the right things and want to take me out or whatever (sometimes they fall in love lol) and if it werent for my being already in a relationship I'd def take them up on their offers..

[GrimFusion]

I wanted to know the guy who said he liked me and wanted to be with me, liked me for me and not just because i had a penis. That is part of the reason I started dating stealth. I didn't want my status as a pre-op transexual woman to be a prerequisite or a dealbreaker

Dating stealth? I'd understand not telling a dude before-hand, but by the end of the first date, the dude needs to be told. I don't think any guy would appreciate taking a chick out on three or four dates just to find out there's sexual incompatibility. If that's what you mean by 'dating stealth', I wouldn't recommend it because that's how tgirls get beat up. </offtopic>

[Queens Guy]

Speaking of facebook, aol's "transgender m2f" room is good for destroying freindships and relationships, lot of jealous fighting, lovers fighting, and an evil being known as "Luke" thats likes to attack people with vile homphobic/transphobic, racist insults(he's a closeted gay who was married but chases cock in secret from his ex-wife & kids).

They still have chat rooms on AOL? I thought they got rid of them.

I switched from a PC to Apple around that time, so maybe they just stopped supporting Apple users.

[qwerty94]

Dating stealth? I'd understand not telling a dude before-hand, but by the end of the first date, the dude needs to be told. I don't think any guy would appreciate taking a chick out on three or four dates just to find out there's sexual incompatibility. If that's what you mean by 'dating stealth', I wouldn't recommend it because that's how tgirls get beat up. </offtopic>

Yes, that is exactly what I mean by dating stealth. no one deserves the right to know my status as a woman who happens to be transexual. No one knows everything about any person with whom they go on a few dates- and everyone goes into a date with expectations, whether those expectations are conscious or not. For me it was actually somewhat of a safety gauge. I did want to make sure the men I dated weren't crazy or violent- you cant gauge that on the first date. Furthermore, I didn't feel telling everyone I went on one or two dates was productive anyway. All I would be doing would be telling one more person who didn't really need to know anyway. What else is irritating- you are on a transexual site. I am assuming you are attracted to transexual women and like to date them, however you still put us into a sub category where we are required to make you(men in general) feel comfortable at all costs- regardless of the repercussions to our lives. It may come as a shocker for you, but we do have lives outside of being transexual and we do try to live our lives as normally as possible. Regardless, it's my life and I will decide the "who, what, where, when, why, and how" to tell a man

[maddygirl]

Fuck that. It's your life, you decide who knows and who doesn't. It's no one's business. So If I had to get my leg amputated and had a fake leg would you recommend I tell every person I date that I have a fake leg on the first date? It's the same thing. A disorder/condition that doesn't NEED to be shared. If the person decides to share it then that's their prerogative.

[rydermorrison]

Yes, that is exactly what I mean by dating stealth. no one deserves the right to know my status as a woman who happens to be transexual. No one knows everything about any person with whom they go on a few dates- and everyone goes into a date with expectations, whether those expectations are conscious or not. For me it was actually somewhat of a safety gauge. I did want to make sure the men I dated weren't crazy or violent- you cant gauge that on the first date. Furthermore, I didn't feel telling everyone I went on one or two dates was productive anyway. All I would be doing would be telling one more person who didn't really need to know anyway. What else is irritating- you are on a transexual site. I am assuming you are attracted to transexual women and like to date them, however you still put us into a sub category where we are required to make you(men in general) feel comfortable at all costs- regardless of the repercussions to our lives. It may come as a shocker for you, but we do have lives outside of being transexual and we do try to live our lives as normally as possible. Regardless, it's my life and I will decide the "who, what, where, when, why, and how" to tell a man

^^^ agreed..

[GrimFusion]

Yes, that is exactly what I mean by dating stealth. no one deserves the right to know my status as a woman who happens to be transexual. No one knows everything about any person with whom they go on a few dates- and everyone goes into a date with expectations, whether those expectations are conscious or not. For me it was actually somewhat of a safety gauge. I did want to make sure the men I dated weren't crazy or violent- you cant gauge that on the first date. Furthermore, I didn't feel telling everyone I went on one or two dates was productive anyway. All I would be doing would be telling one more person who didn't really need to know anyway. What else is irritating- you are on a transexual site. I am assuming you are attracted to transexual women and like to date them, however you still put us into a sub category where we are required to make you(men in general) feel comfortable at all costs- regardless of the repercussions to our lives. It may come as a shocker for you, but we do have lives outside of being transexual and we do try to live our lives as normally as possible. Regardless, it's my life and I will decide the "who, what, where, when, why, and how" to tell a man

I don't know what to say. Thanks for putting words in my mouth? I wasn't inserting anybody into any type of subcategory. My comfort is the least of my worries, and I couldn't care less about other guys and their dating experiences. My concern is safety, and it's not safe to deceive men. That sounds over-dramatic because there aren't too many guys you have to be worried about. The vast majority of men wouldn't flip into a fit of rage after the reveal, but the ones that would are really good at hiding it. They aren't the kind of guys that would raise personality red-flags; and essentially it all boils down to playing the lottery. Dumb random chance.

Err... time to backstep. "I wouldn't recommend it" isn't the same as "Do not attempt". I wasn't suggesting that everybody follow my instructions. That's stupid. It's just not advise I'd pass along.

[SpoogeMonkey]

Yes, that is exactly what I mean by dating stealth. no one deserves the right to know my status as a woman who happens to be transexual. No one knows everything about any person with whom they go on a few dates- and everyone goes into a date with expectations, whether those expectations are conscious or not.

I have to disagree. Any date ive been on in the back of my mind Ive been working through all scenarios; weddings, holidays, showing her off to my work mates.. oh will she click with my sister/aunt/niece, i hope she wants kids/i hope she doesnt want kids. For me its the natural urge of any fella that at sometime having kids appears in the conversation. Obviously not on a first date (although I have had a few work like that, laying out all intentions on the table LITERALLY!!!). So, if I'm going to put my heart and soul into a relationship I want to know where things start. As a bloke on a date all sort of things are going through my head and usually end up in my man parts.

In this world, somebody will find out your past, and use it to destroy you so you may as well shout it from the rooftops because the more its in the public the faster we will come to the point where many people wont care.

Anyway, I like looking at shemales and fantasising over transgendered mtf's so Im just scum and should be burnt. The day 'those who desire women who were born male' are accepted by 'women who were born male' the faster we can all get on with it, have great passionate sex and live happily ever after.

so there..

[Prospero]

You think "does she want kids' on your first date? Wow. I'd say that is sort of unusual.

[Wendy Summers]

You think "does she want kids' on your first date? Wow. I'd say that is sort of unusual.

I would think most guys it would be... "oooo tits!"...

[Wendy Summers]

More on topic, I do think most admirers get a bum rap from the women. The reality is for most women transition is about bringing their life into sync with their mental position. The physical biology is a constant reminder that it isn't there. They aren't typically ok with their biology, so for a guy to be okay with it can freak a woman out.

Hence the negative reactions.

Find yourself a girl who is comfy in her own skin... then you'll be good and less of thos eheadaches to deal with.

[soul4real]

More on topic, I do think most admirers get a bum rap from the women. The reality is for most women transition is about bringing their life into sync with their mental position. The physical biology is a constant reminder that it isn't there. They aren't typically ok with their biology, so for a guy to be okay with it can freak a woman out.

Hence the negative reactions.

Find yourself a girl who is comfy in her own skin... then you'll be good and less of thos eheadaches to deal with.


True indeed if only every human could be comfortable in their own skin.

[SpoogeMonkey]

I would think most guys it would be... "oooo tits!"...

Yeah, it is, but what I meant was lots of things go through the subconcious.. mostly its "wow, can I get to see as much flesh I can" but theres always that background thought.

Not all men are just after a sticky mess!!!

[Jericho]

no one deserves the right to know my status as a woman who happens to be transexual.

Don't know what the odds are but, it'd be shit funny if the guy turned out to be a ftm who thought the same...I'd love to be a fly on the wall at that reveal! :dead:

[qwerty94]

Don't know what the odds are but, it'd be shit funny if the guy turned out to be a ftm who thought the same...I'd love to be a fly on the wall at that reveal! :dead:

but see, there wouldnt be an issue because I would totally date a ftm transexual.

[qwerty94]

I have to disagree. Any date ive been on in the back of my mind Ive been working through all scenarios; weddings, holidays, showing her off to my work mates.. oh will she click with my sister/aunt/niece, i hope she wants kids/i hope she doesnt want kids. For me its the natural urge of any fella that at sometime having kids appears in the conversation. Obviously not on a first date (although I have had a few work like that, laying out all intentions on the table LITERALLY!!!). So, if I'm going to put my heart and soul into a relationship I want to know where things start. As a bloke on a date all sort of things are going through my head and usually end up in my man parts.

In this world, somebody will find out your past, and use it to destroy you so you may as well shout it from the rooftops because the more its in the public the faster we will come to the point where many people wont care.

but that is exactly what I said in my post. everyone has expectations on a first date. those expectations will more than likely not all be met. it's how dating goes. I expect the men I go out on dates with to be sweet and gentlemen.... not always the case. I expect the men to have decent jobs and pay for the first few dates- not always the case.

If the guys in this forum cant wrap their minds around the fact that we as transexual women dont feel comfortable enough-or safe enough- to reveal our status on the first few dates... how can you expect us to feel comfortable meeting a guy, he asks us out, and then tell him our status without knowing his views on it? sorry, but at the end of the day, you will never understand how difficult of a decision it is.

It isnt like im thinking "ooh, this guy is stupid. im getting on passed him"

not at all. I am actually thinking, "when do i tell this kid? how am i gonna tell him? is he gonna beat the shit out of me? what happens if he beats the shit out of me?"

[Jericho]

but see, there wouldnt be an issue because I would totally date a ftm transexual.

Ah, but would he date an mtf? :shrug

[qwerty94]

Ah, but would he date an mtf? :shrug

oh gotcha- i thought you were insinuating that i would never date a ftm. eh... he can take it or leave it

[dabaldone]

.

Find yourself a girl who is comfy in her own skin... then you'll be good and less of thos eheadaches to deal with.[/QUOTE]

Amen Wendy! I've dated a woman off and on who is...well, not quite comfortaable in here owmn skin. We go back in forth because she is uncomfortable with herself. She's met my folks and I've met hers.We really get along well. I'm uncomfortable with the fact she feels being trans is a bad thing.

[Lovecox]

My two cents: Is the "tranny chaser" is a specific type of guy who is rude and objectifies trans women? Can we seperate them from decent men who happen to be attracted to trans women?
The term "tranny chaser" to my ear sounds a bit derogatory, just as the term "tranny" does.
Now, what do I call myself if I am attracted to trans women? Is "trans women" derogatory? We feel compelled to label everything.
A lot of my friends know that I often date trans women. When I say 'I have a date tonight' they sometimes ask 'with a tranny?' and I just say 'With a beautiful woman.' I date genetic women too but I am probably labeled a "tranny chaser".
It seems like the most obvious thing to say but my rule of thumb is to treat everyone with as much respect as I would expect, regardless of sex, age, sexual preference, profession, political bent, or anything else.
Thank you.

[Merkurie]

A "true transsexual" girl I knew as a good friend, always seemed conflicted to me. She was always afraid of guys who approached her because she was not interested in a gay guy. Which was understandable. But it she almost invariably thought anybody sexually attracted to her was gay. So she was in a catch-22.

To my mind, gays are men sexually attracted to men. And a gay man no matter how "flaming" is a man, gay men are at heart and soul a bunch of men. Transwomen and gay guys are as different as chalk and cheese.

So being attracted to a pre-op girl is fundamentally different than being attracted to a man. I don't know why this is so hard to understand for anybody who has not lived their life in a glass bubble.

Is it only acceptable to be sexually involved with a post-op girl? Is that where we are heading, that the only socially acceptable trans woman is post -op?

[Wendy Summers]

My two cents: Is the "tranny chaser" is a specific type of guy who is rude and objectifies trans women? Can we seperate them from decent men who happen to be attracted to trans women?
The term "tranny chaser" to my ear sounds a bit derogatory, just as the term "tranny" does.
Now, what do I call myself if I am attracted to trans women? Is "trans women" derogatory? We feel compelled to label everything.
A lot of my friends know that I often date trans women. When I say 'I have a date tonight' they sometimes ask 'with a tranny?' and I just say 'With a beautiful woman.' I date genetic women too but I am probably labeled a "tranny chaser".
It seems like the most obvious thing to say but my rule of thumb is to treat everyone with as much respect as I would expect, regardless of sex, age, sexual preference, profession, political bent, or anything else.
Thank you.

The etymology of "tranny chaser" came from a very derogatory place - from transwomen who disliked attention from males.

People get way to hung up on labels. Based on how you described yourself if I had to put a label on you I'd probably put "guy who happens to be okay with TS women"... but again... label...ick

[Wendy Summers]

Is it only acceptable to be sexually involved with a post-op girl? Is that where we are heading, that the only socially acceptable trans woman is post -op?

I hope the fuck not. Short of a major medical breakthrough, I don't think I'll ever decide to be post-op.

[Prospero]

A song for Wendy - just felt this was for you.
The Doors Hello, I Love You - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMpwHHpDf7o)

[Merkurie]

I'm pretty sure the Miss Universe contestant story would have been far different has Miss Talakovlova been pre -op.

[rydermorrison]

I don't know what to say. Thanks for putting words in my mouth? I wasn't inserting anybody into any type of subcategory. My comfort is the least of my worries, and I couldn't care less about other guys and their dating experiences. My concern is safety, and it's not safe to deceive men. That sounds over-dramatic because there aren't too many guys you have to be worried about. The vast majority of men wouldn't flip into a fit of rage after the reveal, but the ones that would are really good at hiding it. They aren't the kind of guys that would raise personality red-flags; and essentially it all boils down to playing the lottery. Dumb random chance.

Err... time to backstep. "I wouldn't recommend it" isn't the same as "Do not attempt". I wasn't suggesting that everybody follow my instructions. That's stupid. It's just not advise I'd pass along.

how r we "deceiving" ne one?

[Wendy Summers]

A song for Wendy - just felt this was for you.
The Doors Hello, I Love You - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMpwHHpDf7o)

lolz. :dancing:


how r we "deceiving" ne one?

To be fair, there IS a social contract that we have the genetalia to match our outward appearance. WE are the ones questioning the validity of that contract. Until such a day that everyone agrees to our viewpoint, there will always be some seeing us as deceiving.

[qwerty94]

To be fair, there IS a social contract that we have the genetalia to match our outward appearance. WE are the ones questioning the validity of that contract. Until such a day that everyone agrees to our viewpoint, there will always be some seeing us as deceiving.

so, because we- as transexual women- threaten the social norm of what it means to be male or female, it then means that we are obligated to divulge our medical history to random strangers?(yes- to me someone I go out on one or two dates with is still a random.) i dont think so. ive said in a previous post that everyone goes into a first date with expectations. sometimes those expectations are met, or even exceeded... sometimes they aren't.

[robertlouis]

Ummm. Trans-attracted men are some kind of persecuted minority? Really?

Not aware of chasers or cockhounds being singled out, beaten up or killed as, sadly, too many transsexuals are. A sense of proportionality please guys.

[Wendy Summers]

so, because we- as transexual women- threaten the social norm of what it means to be male or female, it then means that we are obligated to divulge our medical history to random strangers?(yes- to me someone I go out on one or two dates with is still a random.) i dont think so. ive said in a previous post that everyone goes into a first date with expectations. sometimes those expectations are met, or even exceeded... sometimes they aren't.

You take my comments too far.

I certainly do not feel we are obligated to do so... I've waited as long as the third date to make that disclosure in my own life. We have every right to disclose that information when we feel it appropriate.

However we do NOT have the right to be indignant, shocked or angered when someone feels "deceived" by us. They are operating under social mores where, right or wrong, that is truth to them. So long as their reaction doesn't cross into disrespectful or violent behavior, they should have the right to express the emotion of disappointment.

IMO, YMMV, KWIM?

[GrimFusion]

how r we "deceiving" ne one?

lolz. :dancing:
To be fair, there IS a social contract that we have the genetalia to match our outward appearance. WE are the ones questioning the validity of that contract. Until such a day that everyone agrees to our viewpoint, there will always be some seeing us as deceiving.

That's because it is deceiving. Concealment is a form of deceit. The word may have negative connotations, and some may even confuse it with lying, but omitting your birth gender isn't lying, and implying that wasn't my intent. It's not wrong to keep that info to yourself for a while, but if being pre-op is a deal breaker, the longer you wait to say something, the worse the reaction. It's just my opinion, but I'd think it'd be easier being up-front about that. If the guy doesn't like it, he can walk without feeling like he's frivolously invested his emotions, time, and money and there's no reason to fly into a fit of rage, hold a grudge, or attempt getting even. Those kind of reactions wouldn't make any sense within context.

I don't know... I just think it's weird that anyone would avoid sex while dating as opposed to simply not dating in the first place. If you want companionship without intimacy, that's what friends are for. Putting up with weeks or months of dating without the possibility of sex says a lot about a guy's character though. It stinks like desperation. I've never had to deal with that; I'm either in like Flint by the end of the second date, or I know there's an incompatibility and cut my losses. Maybe I've just been lucky; I'm sure there are guys you just can't get a good read off of by the end of a third, or even a fourth date, but I wouldn't call that normal. I'd call that a red-flag.

[maddygirl]

That's because it is deceiving. Concealment is a form of deceit. The word may have negative connotations, and some may even confuse it with lying, but omitting your birth gender isn't lying, and implying that wasn't my intent. It's not wrong to keep that info to yourself for a while, but if being pre-op is a deal breaker, the longer you wait to say something, the worse the reaction. It's just my opinion, but I'd think it'd be easier being up-front about that. If the guy doesn't like it, he can walk without feeling like he's frivolously invested his emotions, time, and money and there's no reason to fly into a fit of rage, hold a grudge, or attempt getting even. Those kind of reactions wouldn't make any sense within context.

I don't know... I just think it's weird that anyone would avoid sex while dating as opposed to simply not dating in the first place. If you want companionship without intimacy, that's what friends are for. Putting up with weeks or months of dating without the possibility of sex says a lot about a guy's character though. It stinks like desperation. I've never had to deal with that; I'm either in like Flint by the end of the second date, or I know there's an incompatibility and cut my losses. Maybe I've just been lucky; I'm sure there are guys you just can't get a good read off of by the end of a third, or even a fourth date, but I wouldn't call that normal. I'd call that a red-flag.
Ok well, what if the girl is post-op and doesn't tell him? They could still have sex and he probably wouldn't know anything.

[GrimFusion]

Wow... I should really read through my posts before pressing the submit button. It seems like I'm just being all nit-picky. I can understand why you girls wouldn't want to be upfront, and I understand your side of that debate. If I don't have the intention of telling every woman on a first date that I have an interest in transsexuals, I probably shouldn't expect transsexuals to reveal their birth gender on a first date. I don't expect it. I just don't like the idea of the odd guy out of the bunch that would react violently, and concealment only exacerbates that reaction.

[Jericho]

oh gotcha- i thought you were insinuating that i would never date a ftm. eh... he can take it or leave it

Yah, that's my point...He can't take it or leave it. In your scenario, you take that choice away from him.

Hey, do whatever works for you, more power to you. But, if you're going to talk about rights, I'm just pointing there's two sides to that. :shrug

As to the safety issue, i'm thinking there's less chance of getting the shit beat out of you on a first date, than a third...less emotion invested.

[GrimFusion]

Ok well, what if the girl is post-op and doesn't tell him? They could still have sex and he probably wouldn't know anything.

If we're talking serious relationships, hiding information, whether it be pertinent or not is just a shitty thing to do. Then again, it's not like a post-op would need to tell any guy about her past because it isn't necessary to have sex. A guy's reaction wouldn't be the same anyhow. Save the few guys who really want to have kids, what dude would react badly to a chick that can't get knocked up and doesn't spend a week out of every month bleeding? C'mon, now. lol

[amberskyi]

If we're talking serious relationships, hiding information, whether it be pertinent or not is just a shitty thing to do. Then again, it's not like a post-op would need to tell any guy about her past because it isn't necessary to have sex. A guy's reaction wouldn't be the same anyhow. Save the few guys who really want to have kids, what dude would react badly to a chick that can't get knocked up and doesn't spend a week out of every month bleeding? C'mon, now. lol

if its the first few dates who cares.no one is ever completely honest and open the first date.there are different levels of trust and sharing as a relationship/friendship develops.the first date is a meet and greet.i think its kind of weird for anyone to go on a first date with such serious intentions.your kinda still strangers at that point.
the only time that its really detrimental to tell is if any thing intimate is going to happen.unless your going to be getting up close and personal with me than its none of your damn business whats between our legs.
not every girl lives in a thriving liberal metropolitan area where she can be open and out to everyone she comes across.sometimes you have to decide who is worth the risk of telling.

[soul4real]

if its the first few dates who cares.no one is ever completely honest and open the first date.there are different levels of trust and sharing as a relationship/friendship develops.the first date is a meet and greet.i think its kind of weird for anyone to go on a first date with such serious intentions.your kinda still strangers at that point.
the only time that its really detrimental to tell is if any thing intimate is going to happen.unless your going to be getting up close and personal with me than its none of your damn business whats between our legs.
not every girl lives in a thriving liberal metropolitan area where she can be open and out to everyone she comes across.sometimes you have to decide who is worth the risk of telling.


again my whole point.. everybody should get to know a person before judging or confiding lol

[giovanni_hotel]

That's the beauty of dating a trans-attracted man from jump; you can tell us EVERYTHING and already know it's all good.

http://rlv.zcache.com/secretly_loves_trannies_tshirt-p235522864720600049zvh3u_400.jpg

[Jericho]

That's the beauty of dating a trans-attracted man from jump; you can tell us EVERYTHING and already know it's all good.



:rolleyes:
Don't be silly...That'd be far too easy!

[Chase_Mcthirsty]

[/URL]

Giovanni your right when a lady hits you with the "you like men" shit. its so frustraitng and sad at the same time. Like ok cool I'm dealing with my attraction to ladies like yourself, and being open and seeing you for woman, then you go and try to belittle me with this. Really.. Self hate shooting outward :(
(http://www.hungangels.com/vboard/member.php?u=55053)

It's just a scare tactic.

Think about it. Most women will cut their own daughters throat for their idea of what they consider a good man so why would they willingly open the door for TS to compete for the same men? These same chicks will throw a fit if you cheat on them or leave the for a fat girl so why would dating TS being any different.

Here's some food for thought. When a genetic woman is bragging about her vagina and ability to bare children and looks more suspect then the tgirls you've dated... Just laugh that shit off and see it for what it is. Especially since they hate being considered as just "pussy" or a baby machines in any other instance accept when the topic of trannies comes up.

As a guy who likes [U]all shade of women. I find it best to just hate everyone until they prove to be worthy. That way their ignorance doesn't surprise you.

[soul4real]

yeah gentic women bragging on their pussys is other worldy crazy sometimes lol