He-he or He-she

[SexxxyJade]

I recently saw a guy who just couldn't get it thru his head that I wasn't a guy ( well not in my eyes anyway). Not in a sense where he didnt know I was a TS and I was hiding my "tee" or anything like that. This was a regular guy just like any other guy that i meet regularly who knew what I was but still choose to see me as a str8 up dude. obviously He kept calling me "dude", and "he". He even got to the point in our convo, being so direct, i think his exact words were " i never had a boyfriend before". I was kinda appalled. I have never been referred to as anyones "boyfriend".
He kept this going, even after we had played around sexually and everything.
So this made me wonder. Do all guys think of us ( TS), as guys, and boyfriends? Deep down inside, just plain ole guys just all sugar caosted? This would explain alot, your discreetness, insecurity to committ, going along with sterotypes, etc. All because you see us as just plain ole men.. in diguise.
Are there any men out there that see us beyond our male attributes, that are honestly able to look at us as women, undeniably 100 percent, and not let ur insecurities overwhelm you. Whos not insecure?
Do you only call us, "she", and "women", because thats what we expect you to do, to please us? Or do u genuinly see us as such.
Just a few questions that came to mind.

kisses,
Sexy Jade

[swamprat4077]

Well out of habit i call near everyone dude.
To me it's just another word i use everyday.
But i would look at you, or others as i have from the first TS image i ever saw.

"she is hot!"

I can honestly say i've rarely even thought about calling a TS anything else, but a woman, or she.

I'll admit in the begining, i stuck to "tranny" or "shemale" but that's no longer the case, and i cant really explain why.
My view my very well be differant from others, thats cool too, but in my mind, i look at you as women.

I dont say it becasue i'm expected too, i say it because it feels right to say it. By that i mean, in my own (admittedly warped) little mind i only see a woman before me.

[jdh1974]

Same here Jade, I am pretty sure if I was in your presence, the words 'dude' and 'he' definitely wouldnt come out of my mouth. When I see pics of beautiful girls like yourself, I never think in terms of thats a man or anything, just a beautiful woman in my eyes. i sent you a pm by the way Jade, I had a question for ya. Thanks, Jimmy

[Hugh Jarrod]

Nope. However I keep trying to forget that at one point all Tgurls were men in the past, that's why I've never been a fan of before and after pix.

[Dkg]

Jade, no offense but this guy sounds like a loser, why the hell were you with him to begin with?

I don't care how much $$$ he's giving you he sounds like a jackass not worth 1 min of your time. I see ou as noting but woman, I could see how some people wouldn't but you outclass plenty of gg's so that's gotta mean something

my $.02

[Chica]

there was this guy i started talking to on msn, he first of all started saying dude and stuff. dude isn't used in britain much so it rules out the term that is used alot in america.

he said he found me from a website which has many transgendered people on, but he says by accident, yet at the time, i wasnt logged on for a while, and only got his message thru an email

anyway, eventually he started to understand and then dropped the dude, and seemed like he started to fancy me, so i asked him straight, "do you like me" and he's like oh no no never, yet he enjoys talking to me, watching me on cam, and it even got to the point he wanted me to go out to a party , but i turned the offer down, since i didnt have the money nor the confidence to do it

men seem wierd. i think the true straight ones are always questionable whether TS are male or female, and i guess they rattle through their heads if they're gay for liking one. the world is an odd place.. many questions can't be answered... i guess this is another. to be honest, i couldn't care less if the guy i liked was gay straight or bi, just as long as he acted like a man, and the person i like, likewise, for me to be the woman, and just to settle down and do normal day to day things.

well, i can dream can't i...

[katieftv]

Being a TV myself I find what people are sex wise so simple as far as what goes on in my head. When I see a good looking convincing TS/TV I see the body and face of a beautiful woman. To me thats what she is. Now if she looks like a woman but not so good looking then thats what she is a woman whos not so good looking. I dont complicate things in my head life is complicated enough.

When I see the image of a lady my eyes tell me hey this is a nice lady so I accept her as such. The fact that she may have a cock simply means she is a lady with a cock. Beauty or attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder so I go with that. So simply put I see a lady then shes a lady how nice she looks comes second.

Here in the UK there is a famous T/girl revue theater/show bar in Blackpool. I was in there last night with my girlfriend. I saw a number of fine looking LADIES all of which are T/girls who work there either on stage or behind the bar etc etc.

Here is the link to their web site, the place is called Funny Girls.

http://www.funnygirlsshowbar.co.uk/

[BeardedOne]

You sure do bring us the puzzlers, Ms. Jade. :D

I've never had an issue as regards the gender that is presented to me from the outset. I see 'T-girls' as women (And while I will occasionally use the references of 'tranny', 'she-male', etc., I don't find them very flattering to the women I'm talking to/about) and do my best to treat them as such.

I too, will sometimes say 'dude' to anyone I'm talking to, but it's a blanket reference that I'll use with anyone and it's usually something you'll hear in my voice when I say it ("Hey, dewwwd, how ya doin'?"). I also have this blip stuck in my head from an old television commercial featuring Chuck McCann as the overtly friendly neighbor in the shared medicine cabinet, greeting =everyone= with "Hi guy!". Blame Madison Avenue for a too-successful ad campaign, but please don't beat up on me because I am so conditioned as to de-genderize the general population in my greetings.

I've been friends and had relationships with more gender-variant people than I can count, but I've always accepted them for the gender they presented to me and the world. I never called my intersexed friend 'she' or 'her' and never referred to any of the m2f TS's I've known as 'him' or 'he', and I would certainly never refer to or introduce you or any of them as a 'boyfriend'. That's just lame, and damn bad form on the part of the 'date' you mentioned.

On the highly unlikely even that you should encounter this individual again, introduce 'her' around as your 'girlfriend' and ask if 'she' wants to go shopping. :wink:

[Baron Of Hell]

hmmmm I didn't see anywhere in that post where you told the guy to stop calling you dude, he, or male. If you actually did do that and he continued then that would make him big ass jerk.

Our experience effect the way we see people. Some will see you as girl, some as boy, some as both.

[Bicycology]

Generally, i find that whatever a person first approaches me as - be it male, female, 'tween, whatever - that's what i think of them from then on.

The one time i met a girl - and later became intimate with - who had an 'outie' instead of an 'innie' - i never wavered in my assumtion that she was female.

A buddy of mine, however, met a TV in 'girl' mode, they became very attached, but the TV (in this case, gay male cross-dresser) got bored with the dressup stuff and reverted to male attire and behavior. My buddy was freaked out and immediately stopped seeing 'him'.

We talked about it later (he knew my own story, previously) and we both decided that it was like dating a woman who suddenly turned into a guy.

Boom - end of relationship.

So, here's my conclusion - Me, he, and several other friend, see TS girls as girls because they 'project' their femaleness in their behavior, attitude, dress, makeup, etc. Cock or Pussy - sort of 'after the fact' - and none of us would bed down with someone who looked, acted or dressed like a guy - and here's the kicker - if a hot woman could effectively mimic a man, we'd wanna puke.

I knew one guy who was attracted to F-2-M TG's, but he was finally 'outed' as a gay who had issues with it.

Therefore, dear Ms. Jade - it's not about you, it's about him - he's fighting a deep-rooted fear of being homosexual - or some such rubbish.

If I was dating a girl as delicious as you appear to be, i'd just be so damn proud at all the jealous looks i'd get when i'd take you out on the town.

Was that too meandering?

[HungDevil]

Are there any men out there that see us beyond our male attributes, that are honestly able to look at us as women, undeniably 100 percent, and not let ur insecurities overwhelm you. Whos not insecure?
Do you only call us, "she", and "women", because thats what we expect you to do, to please us? Or do u genuinly see us as such.
Just a few questions that came to mind.


It takes a great effort for me to address a transsexual other than by saying "she." This is especially so if the transsexual has the "female" voice nearly perfected. I could never forget that a transsexual was born a man, but yet I can't ignore the feminity. I say "she" because that is how trans-women want to be addressed. I could never look at a pre-op trans as 100 percent woman because that would be ignoring her qualities as an individual. As well, it would be a case of me ignoring my own attraction to both the feminine and masculine aspects of a given trans.

[Aedan]

I recently saw a guy who just couldn't get it thru his head that I wasn't a guy ( well not in my eyes anyway). Not in a sense where he didnt know I was a TS and I was hiding my "tee" or anything like that. This was a regular guy just like any other guy that i meet regularly who knew what I was but still choose to see me as a str8 up dude. obviously He kept calling me "dude", and "he". He even got to the point in our convo, being so direct, i think his exact words were " i never had a boyfriend before". I was kinda appalled. I have never been referred to as anyones "boyfriend".
He kept this going, even after we had played around sexually and everything.
So this made me wonder. Do all guys think of us ( TS), as guys, and boyfriends? Deep down inside, just plain ole guys just all sugar caosted? This would explain alot, your discreetness, insecurity to committ, going along with sterotypes, etc. All because you see us as just plain ole men.. in diguise.
Are there any men out there that see us beyond our male attributes, that are honestly able to look at us as women, undeniably 100 percent, and not let ur insecurities overwhelm you. Whos not insecure?
Do you only call us, "she", and "women", because thats what we expect you to do, to please us? Or do u genuinly see us as such.
Just a few questions that came to mind.

kisses,
Sexy Jade

I genuinly see you as girls Jade. I have a couple of transsexual friends and frequently go out with them to bars, movies and even some small vacations. To me they are just like GG's. But in my country people are more tolerant towards gays and transsexuals. I know a lot of transsexuals girls (they call themselves that) who are persecuted in their own country for being a transsexual. That even worse then being called a man.

[Aedan]

I recently saw a guy who just couldn't get it thru his head that I wasn't a guy ( well not in my eyes anyway). Not in a sense where he didnt know I was a TS and I was hiding my "tee" or anything like that. This was a regular guy just like any other guy that i meet regularly who knew what I was but still choose to see me as a str8 up dude. obviously He kept calling me "dude", and "he". He even got to the point in our convo, being so direct, i think his exact words were " i never had a boyfriend before". I was kinda appalled. I have never been referred to as anyones "boyfriend".
He kept this going, even after we had played around sexually and everything.
So this made me wonder. Do all guys think of us ( TS), as guys, and boyfriends? Deep down inside, just plain ole guys just all sugar caosted? This would explain alot, your discreetness, insecurity to committ, going along with sterotypes, etc. All because you see us as just plain ole men.. in diguise.
Are there any men out there that see us beyond our male attributes, that are honestly able to look at us as women, undeniably 100 percent, and not let ur insecurities overwhelm you. Whos not insecure?
Do you only call us, "she", and "women", because thats what we expect you to do, to please us? Or do u genuinly see us as such.
Just a few questions that came to mind.

kisses,
Sexy Jade

I genuinly see you as girls Jade. I have a couple of transsexual friends and frequently go out with them to bars, movies and even some small vacations. To me they are just like GG's. But in my country people are more tolerant towards gays and transsexuals. I know a lot of transsexuals girls (they call themselves that) who are persecuted in their own country for being a transsexual. That even worse then being called a man.

[Adam_Thompson]

I think some of us guys can see a TS as strictly a woman,female,girl, etc. Like someone else said, I'm beyong the point of using transsexual, etc..but that's just a personal decision. For some guys I think the fear of their family, friends, and yes even strangers viewing their girlfriend as a DUDE is what worries them most.
Some guys can see TS as strictly women, yet I do wonder about men that will not date or find post-op girls just as attractive.

[Caleigh]

If ANYONE starts using male pronouns with me I
correct them right away. Unless it's like buying
a slice of pizza or something where I will probably
never see that person again.

But if there is going to be any continuing exchange
I correct them and keep correcting them. Don't put
up with that shit.

[dabaldone]

I think is was either a sign of his insecurities or he was just plain mean. The most appealling thing about a TS woman is this. It takes a certain strength of character to match who you are inside to your outward apperance. Society shuns TS wome as......well just fill in the blanks. I see TS women as women, hell they give you as much drama anyway. But a true TS has a powerful senusual side. I just see them as sexy ass women period.

[SexxxyJade]

Actualy this guy was very nice. But we met of a one time basis type terms, as Caliegh said about the pizza guy, ill probably never see him again. He was a client, it just kinda gagged me that he saw me as a dude.
But like I said he was one of the nicest guys that ive met on a business level, he did mention that it was his second time. So maybe he is still adjusting to the whole thing. Still kinda strange tho.

[Bicycology]

judging by your avatar, i just wish more women looked like you. and if you constitute a 'dude' - i'm going gay.

;) - all in fun!

And yeah, i'll agree with your assessment, i think he's just trying to come to terms with it.

[Riddick]

I've been dating my transsexual girl for over a year and truly appreciate and see her for the girl she is not the guy she used to be. I guess it's easier for me because I met her after full transition. But even other girls i've met in the past i've had no problem referring to as Miss, sweetie etc.
I remember I was on a train one day a few yrs ago and bumped into this lady, she turned around looking a little pissed...I made her for a transsexual...but I just simply said "sorry Miss"... she smiled and winked

[hondarobot]

Jade, no offense, but your pic is you holding your dick. You're not a girl as far as the majority of people would consider one, you're a transexual girl.

Get over it.

As far as most conventional thinking goes, you're "weird". Guys that really would understand you and like you on all levels are also considered by most as "weird".

It's all a matter of us getting over this "weird" thinking and just be people. Who cares about fitting in and stupid catagories? Just be happy with yourself and quit worrying about the labels the uptight losers try to place on you.

Whoops, looks like I posted on Hung Angels again.

Weird. . .

[BlackAdder]

I view t-girls as women. They act like women....well...i guess all the ones *IM* attracted to do, they look like women, and they want to be treated like women.

No real man has is insecure about committing, unless his girl gives him reason too.

[DJ_Asia]

I have an Aussie friend who refers to all my models as "Blokes trying to fool him"..He is a bright guy,very opinionated,and not nearly a day goes by when my involvement in the TG community doesnt come up (or my sexuality etc... as well)

As has been said by Hondarobot,most common ham and eggers think of TS as gay men.They think of me (a very straight TS admirer) as a gay man...hell my own dad thinks im gay,but he's a bozo so who cares.

For me,I view TS as women,assuming they live 24/7 as women.Plain and simple,whats between your legs isnt the only thing that makes you fit a gender identity.
If I meet a p/t dresser,TV or female impersonator,and he prefers to be called a "she" or referred to by his alter-ego's female name,out of respect for him I will do so to his face,when in his female form.However iin referring to him in conversation he will be a he,in my eyes at least,until he decides to go f/t or not.

DJ Asia

[SexxxyJade]

Jade, no offense, but your pic is you holding your dick. You're not a girl as far as the majority of people would consider one, you're a transexual girl.

Get over it.

As far as most conventional thinking goes, you're "weird". Guys that really would understand you and like you on all levels are also considered by most as "weird".

It's all a matter of us getting over this "weird" thinking and just be people. Who cares about fitting in and stupid catagories? Just be happy with yourself and quit worrying about the labels the uptight losers try to place on you.

Whoops, looks like I posted on Hung Angels again.

Weird. . .



As far as my avatar goes, ummm this is HungAngels a sitededicated to Shemale porn, and duh I am in the adult industry, so my presence here would represent that. Does that mean I have to be juged by my occupation 24/7? And yes I am a transexual girl I knowthis but the key word is "girl" does a dick define a man. All it takes is a dick to make you a man? Is that what ur saying? I think not. Takes a whole lot more to be a real man than a penis baby.
All Im saying is I want to be treated how I carry myself, and thats every inch a lady baby. Im not worried about labels or being judged, most transexuals arent, that carfreeness is what gives us the courage to live a women in society. U tink if i cared about being judged id have made it this far as a TS? You try it, and see if u could make it, didnt u post once that u were a girl or something? Or wanted to be?
Anyway im not debating just sating my opinon, this has always been a place where i could get sum POSITIVE feed back, and the answers that i needed.
Thanx everyone for your replies.

kisses

[hondarobot]

Jade, I view you as being 100% woman. But a TS woman. I don't like living in fantasy land anymore then I have to, and working in a GLBT club leads to a lot of goofy thinking.

I really do find this a great topic. I don't fully understand the TS thing, but I've worked with, partied with, and just hung out with more TS girls then most people on this board. I myself am one chromosome away from being a girl, and I'd be a pretty fricken hot girl (I'm just saying), I'm right in the middle of things as far as gender is concerned, but not TS myself.

Everytime a honest examination of this topic comes up, people start to get defensive.

I'm just curious like everyone else, trying to figure things out.

[Quinn]

Anyway im not debating just sating my opinon, this has always been a place where i could get sum POSITIVE feed back, and the answers that i needed.
Thanx everyone for your replies.

kisses

For what it's worth, I think we all enjoy your posts. They tend to be interesting, offbeat, and heartfelt. So far as your beginning question in this thread is concerned, I think it's all about the man you chose. The guy you mentioned sounds insecure and uncertain. Seriously, if you look like a woman, comport yourself like a woman, and feel like a woman, then that should be enough for him.

Speaking for myself, the only transexuals that I think of as men are those few who act like men (trying to be all gangsta, etc.). The rest are women.

-Quinn

[AllanahStarrNYC]

First and foremost- when someone disrespects you, you must stand up for yourself. It seems like this person was doing it on purpose-and to be ignorant on purpose is almost completely unforgiveable.

People in life will percieve in many different ways (that goes for all of us). As a transsexual woman, I have had all kinds of reactions from people as to why I am, who I am. However, it's been a very long time since anyone used a masculine pro noun to reffer to me. I think when you present yourself a certain way- and with self respect, people will ultimately respect you, even if they do not like you.

Since I have been living like this for over a third of my life, I really do not second guess or think about my transsexuality when I go out in public or deal with people in day to day situations. I know what, I am and which way I was born- but in my mind I am simply a woman. Yes a transsexual woman, but still a woman.

Not to get too off topic but I had a similar discussion with my therapist about this recentlly. And he pointed out something really interesting. Its the difference between a transsexual woman who is clearly obvious and one who passes in society. The transsexual woman who is obvious has to deal with that from the get go- while the one who passes faces a diferent problem, which is ofen second guessing- 'do they know?'. Different kind of problems, and obviously the second one is the better, but still issues we face daily as transsexuals.

If a man who is into me sees me as a man- then there is clearly a problem.

The buttom line is if someone is not evolved enough to understand you, accept you, or respect you- they are not worth your time and you should not grant them the pleasure of having it.

[canihavu]

For me, I see TGirls as women. That's how you are living your life and except for the fact that you have "that something extra", you are women.

[hondarobot]

First and foremost- when someone disrespects you, you must stand up for yourself. It seems like this person was doing it on purpose-and to be ignorant on purpose is almost completely unforgiveable.

People in life will percieve in many different ways (that goes for all of us). As a transsexual woman, I have had all kinds of reactions from people as to why I am, who I am. However, it's been a very long time since anyone used a masculine pro noun to reffer to me. I think when you present yourself a certain way- and with self respect, people will ultimately respect you, even if they do not like you.

Since I have been living like this for over a third of my life, I really do not second guess or think about my transsexuality when I go out in public or deal with people in day to day situations. I know what, I am and which way I was born- but in my mind I am simply a woman. Yes a transsexual woman, but still a woman.

Not to get too off topic but I had a similar discussion with my therapist about this recentlly. And he pointed out something really interesting. Its the difference between a transsexual woman who is clearly obvious and one who passes in society. The transsexual woman who is obvious has to deal with that from the get go- while the one who passes faces a diferent problem, which is ofen second guessing- 'do they know?'. Different kind of problems, and obviously the second one is the better, but still issues we face daily as transsexuals.

If a man who is into me sees me as a man- then there is clearly a problem.

The buttom line is if someone is not evolved enough to understand you, accept you, or respect you- they are not worth your time and you should not grant them the pleasure of having it.

Why doesn't everyone else get this?

Awesome post, Allanah.

[Edmund]

I've always just supposed that it's polite to refer to and think of a person as their preferred gender. So I do.

[eagleman12]

I see you all as girls and nothing more

[Bicycology]

Nor less...

[eagleman12]

true

[sdman]

well no I dont consider trannys guys. to me they're women.

[Dengoza]

Jade, first of all I just want to take the opportunity to say I really love your looks, you are one of the most beautiful girls I ever saw, I guess your "my type"

But to answer your question, I definetly see you as a girl. I dont know if its some kind of denial issue or somthing for me. But when I see your looks I feel those feelings of atraction and admiration that I felt for "genetic girls" before I even knew Tgirls existed. Its a feeling like wanting to fall in love as a man with a girl...

I really get offended and cant comprehend those guys that look at a really feminine tgirl and say that "hey thats a dude" or whatever!!! I would think they would at least admit, hey, she is really doing a great job in transformation...

Funny thing happened with a friend of mine on myspace. We were browsing girls pages and he kept clicking on profiles of Tgirls. Without knowing it because often they dont mention it in the first line... He has always been someone into a little exageration of sexuality and theres the tgirls sometimes who dress a bit over-sexy... Anyways it was just interesting because he kept on finding these tgirls and thought they were so hot... I didnt enlighten him, just kinda giggled

[franks]

I recently saw a guy who just couldn't get it thru his head that I wasn't a guy ( well not in my eyes anyway). Not in a sense where he didnt know I was a TS and I was hiding my "tee" or anything like that. This was a regular guy just like any other guy that i meet regularly who knew what I was but still choose to see me as a str8 up dude. obviously He kept calling me "dude", and "he". He even got to the point in our convo, being so direct, i think his exact words were " i never had a boyfriend before". I was kinda appalled. I have never been referred to as anyones "boyfriend".
He kept this going, even after we had played around sexually and everything.
So this made me wonder. Do all guys think of us ( TS), as guys, and boyfriends? Deep down inside, just plain ole guys just all sugar caosted? This would explain alot, your discreetness, insecurity to committ, going along with sterotypes, etc. All because you see us as just plain ole men.. in diguise.
Are there any men out there that see us beyond our male attributes, that are honestly able to look at us as women, undeniably 100 percent, and not let ur insecurities overwhelm you. Whos not insecure?
Do you only call us, "she", and "women", because thats what we expect you to do, to please us? Or do u genuinly see us as such.
Just a few questions that came to mind.

kisses,
Sexy Jade

If someone's birthname is bob, and they in turn want me to refer to them as bill, I'll respect them as being bill. If someone is born with the physical attributes of one sex, then decides to physically transform themselves into who they thought they were all along, I'll acknowledge the latter rather than the former. in short, I respect female to male transexuals as men, and male to female transexuals as women.

I recently saw a guy who just couldn't get it thru his head that I wasn't a guy ( well not in my eyes anyway). Not in a sense where he didnt know I was a TS and I was hiding my "tee" or anything like that. This was a regular guy just like any other guy that i meet regularly who knew what I was but still choose to see me as a str8 up dude. obviously He kept calling me "dude", and "he". He even got to the point in our convo, being so direct, i think his exact words were " i never had a boyfriend before". I was kinda appalled. I have never been referred to as anyones "boyfriend".
He kept this going, even after we had played around sexually and everything.
So this made me wonder. Do all guys think of us ( TS), as guys, and boyfriends? Deep down inside, just plain ole guys just all sugar caosted? This would explain alot, your discreetness, insecurity to committ, going along with sterotypes, etc. All because you see us as just plain ole men.. in diguise.
Are there any men out there that see us beyond our male attributes, that are honestly able to look at us as women, undeniably 100 percent, and not let ur insecurities overwhelm you. Whos not insecure?
Do you only call us, "she", and "women", because thats what we expect you to do, to please us? Or do u genuinly see us as such.
Just a few questions that came to mind.

kisses,
Sexy Jade


One of the reasons that the majority of transsexual women have a hard time finding husbands is age. Because most transwomen self-discover and identify ways to correct too late in life, they end up as late 20-somethings at the end of hormones, surgery and therapy. Problem is that at that age, you're either dating children or adult children. Neither of which are prepared to be men..... loving, considerate, strong MEN.... which is what your heart desires.

So in that respect, you truly are women. AGE is the greatest crime against women :cry:

:lol: Looking for a man amongst the bois who:

A: Are looking for the young/firm girl

B: Don't appreciated the beauty of the adult WOMAN

[sucka4chix]

Ok, probably not a popular opinion, but a technical one (I'm very technical by nature): The presence of a penis makes you a male by definition, but a male and a man are not exactly the same thing--- male is to man as motor is to engine!
I don't consider myself gay or homosexual even though I perform acts that most would consider homosexual. The fact is a transexual is not a man or a woman but something new; Something new that is alot closer to a woman than a man. There are really no proper words that deal with transex! For instance: sex between a man and woman is hetero,man and man homo, but nothing really defines man and transexual. Some say that makes me bi, but not in the truest since of the word since I like girls and girls with cocks.Since we have this 3rd sex we really need a whole new way of speaking of the relationships with it!
All this being said, I call a ts a girl because, yes it's respectful, but also because it allows me to be in the situation in the first place--- if I was forced to come face to face with the thought that I was with a "dude", I would never be with a ts.
Like I said, unpopular, but honest

[peggygee]

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l2/magi43/bump-1.gif

[tsmandy]

Sadly there are times when queer people can be really shitty friends, lovers, and allies to trans women. There are some queer people who will intentionally disrespect your gender if they clock you as trans.

In a strangely parallel fashion, some gay men will emulate their straight counterparts by fucking T girls and convincing themselves that it is still Gay sex (Just like straight guys feel the need to confirm their heterosexuality before they gobble cock) They ultimately cannot deal with the confusion that results from being attracted to a woman.

My FTM friends deal with this perhaps even more intensely. Gay men attracted to Trans guys will often ultimately disrespect them and call them She. Dykes will call trans guys she because they want to fuck them and they don't want to be straight.

I guess what I mean to say, is, it sounds like this guy was really confused. Sometimes all you can do is laugh.

[freak]

I recently saw a guy who just couldn't get it thru his head that I wasn't a guy ( well not in my eyes anyway). Not in a sense where he didnt know I was a TS and I was hiding my "tee" or anything like that. This was a regular guy just like any other guy that i meet regularly who knew what I was but still choose to see me as a str8 up dude. obviously He kept calling me "dude", and "he". He even got to the point in our convo, being so direct, i think his exact words were " i never had a boyfriend before". I was kinda appalled. I have never been referred to as anyones "boyfriend".
He kept this going, even after we had played around sexually and everything.
So this made me wonder. Do all guys think of us ( TS), as guys, and boyfriends? Deep down inside, just plain ole guys just all sugar caosted? This would explain alot, your discreetness, insecurity to committ, going along with sterotypes, etc. All because you see us as just plain ole men.. in diguise.
Are there any men out there that see us beyond our male attributes, that are honestly able to look at us as women, undeniably 100 percent, and not let ur insecurities overwhelm you. Whos not insecure?
Do you only call us, "she", and "women", because thats what we expect you to do, to please us? Or do u genuinly see us as such.
Just a few questions that came to mind.

kisses,
Sexy Jade

Anyone who see you as a dude need there head examined. You are one of the best looking ladies out there, including the genetic girls.
I don't treat any t-girl any different then I would a genetic girl, you are all females to me, some just a bit more special.

[werwt22]

LOL Whats funny is I've referred to a lot of TS as woman and have been corrected sometimes and they say I'm not a woman.

[a994]

Hello Jade. I hope all is going well for you lately.

In response to your question, I can honestly say that I think of t-ladies as women, some of whom have male genitalia, some of whom do not. I consider crossdressers to be men, but I do consider t-ladies to be women.

And I find the term "it" to be highly insulting.

[a994]

Nope. However I keep trying to forget that at one point all Tgurls were men in the past, that's why I've never been a fan of before and after pix.

I put the past out of my mind. I go by who/what the person is NOW.

[a994]

- and none of us would bed down with someone who looked, acted or dressed like a guy - and here's the kicker - if a hot woman could effectively mimic a man, we'd wanna puke.




I certainly have no attraction to GGs who act and/or appear manly.

[LG]

Wtf are talking about? Are you drunk? This is possibly thee most worthless post ever made on HA. What total pseudo-intellectual bullshit.

Is this the kind of mind-numbing gibberish you poor people on the politics and religion forum have been putting up with?

Arianna, I'll agree with I_Love_Cristina_Bianchini on this. TFan is a master of mind-numbing gibberish, but we kind of like him 'cause he makes us laugh.

But I do beg to differ. That post by TFan was not the most worthless post ever made on HA. Trawl through the archives and I think you'll find many posts of similar or greater worthlessnes have been posted by TFan and his buddy White_Male_Canada. Although he did make an effort on this latest one.

----

To Jade:

It's a complicated question.

Yes, I see you as a woman (and a very attractive one, at that), but that something extra confuses the equation. You see, if you were just like any other women, many of us probably wouldn't hang around here so much. You know this as well as we do- that something is part of what you're selling at the moment. The extra something is- initally at least- part of the attraction, and it makes it difficult for us to think of you as women, just like any other woman that we might see in the street, in a shop or on TV.

After a while, it stops being about the sex organ of course. Then we guys can learn to appreciate you girls fully and to also be attract to you for other reasons. And it doesn't make a difference whether you've decided to keep your bits or not, becuase- even though we'd like to play with it and touch, kiss or feel it- we realise that for many girls, sex reassignment is the final step to fulfillment. Most of the veteran posters here accept that, even though we may not like it.

But, in any case, I would treat you like a woman, because I know that this is not just how you want to be treated but how you really are. The girls here are women in every way- but one, in most cases- (and being a woman or man has as much to do with how you feel as it has with how you look). I would never see any of them as a man or treat them like a man. But as I say, I think it is complicated, escpecially in the case of a relationship with a pre-op/non-op.

I am actually almost more confused know than when I began reading your question. I'm hoping the above makes sense. Like I said, it's complicated.

That's my two cents' worth anyway.

[signupjustforthis]

To the original poster: Sorry, i can't read all of this. but oh my god, fuck him. Fuck any guy who call you a he..

you said he's nice? I am sorry, but unless he is really ignorant..calling a ts woman a he is never nice.

but whatever , he's just a client

[signupjustforthis]

Sadly there are times when queer people can be really shitty friends, lovers, and allies to trans women. There are some queer people who will intentionally disrespect your gender if they clock you as trans.

In a strangely parallel fashion, some gay men will emulate their straight counterparts by fucking T girls and convincing themselves that it is still Gay sex (Just like straight guys feel the need to confirm their heterosexuality before they gobble cock) They ultimately cannot deal with the confusion that results from being attracted to a woman.

My FTM friends deal with this perhaps even more intensely. Gay men attracted to Trans guys will often ultimately disrespect them and call them She. Dykes will call trans guys she because they want to fuck them and they don't want to be straight.

I guess what I mean to say, is, it sounds like this guy was really confused. Sometimes all you can do is laugh.

oh my, i know some queer guys think they are better than us. God, fuck them. :)

[the Adrienne Barbeaubot]

I ALWAYS call a t-girl she or her because in my mind they ARE girls. Penis or pussy does not count.If they go through everyday life as women,then they are women.Allanah is right.It is a total disrespect to use masculine pronouns or terminology to identify a tg. I am always respectful and kind to all the girls I meet.