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View Full Version : I Watch Too Much Porno I Forget To Sleep Now


Dino Velvet
01-05-2012, 09:29 PM
Day turns into night and night back into day all the while my computer stays on while I hunt and peck with one hand sweating bullets. Anybody else?

Megadeth - Sweating Bullets - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOnKCcjP8Qs&ob=av2e)
Omnipresent
01-05-2012, 10:01 PM
Yeah pretty much.

There's a small rough patch on my dick from overuse and my chair smells like balls.
Dino Velvet
01-05-2012, 10:34 PM
Yeah pretty much.

There's a small rough patch on my dick from overuse and my chair smells like balls.

My armpits and my weed smell exactly alike now. When I'm too close to a bag I think I need to bathe. I'm on the last layer of skin on my wiener too. Red and angry looking.
Ineeda SM
01-06-2012, 04:37 AM
Sounds like somebody needs an intervention.
Willie Escalade
01-06-2012, 04:53 AM
That's the problem with the internet. There's so much stuff there it's hard to get away!
Dino Velvet
01-06-2012, 08:06 AM
That's the problem with the internet. There's so much stuff there it's hard to get away!

Do they show porno on the bus too these days?

http://www.showbus.com/p2001/rtd519x.JPG
RallyCola
01-06-2012, 08:24 AM
i have porn on my phone...god bless android (fuck the iphone)...so i would watch porn on a bus...i just never take buses
aprilian
01-06-2012, 11:39 AM
My armpits and my weed smell exactly alike now. When I'm too close to a bag I think I need to bathe. I'm on the last layer of skin on my wiener too. Red and angry looking.

Try a mixture of cheap hand lotion and some canola oil for a nice soothing lube.
Works fine ,lasts along time!
Willie Escalade
01-07-2012, 04:24 AM
i have porn on my phone...god bless android (fuck the iphone)...so i would watch porn on a bus...i just never take buses
I've got porn on my iPhone as well...some videos need to be kept with you for "those moments"...
Dino Velvet
01-07-2012, 05:47 AM
I've got porn on my iPhone as well...some videos need to be kept with you for "those moments"...

I knew it! Porn is on the bus. "Those moments" mean Willie shows me some porn, he sees my eyes bulge, then the fucker smiles and slams on the brakes hurling my fat cracker ass through the windshield.

Suave Fucker > Catatonic White Guy
onmyknees
01-07-2012, 06:54 AM
Hey Dino..........rough day at work. Fell asleep and woke up to Seinfeld re-runs and there was Vic Mackey. Long way from the set of Seinfeld to off'n fellow cops in LA.
Dino Velvet
01-07-2012, 07:19 AM
Hey Dino..........rough day at work. Fell asleep and woke up to Seinfeld re-runs and there was Vic Mackey. Long way from the set of Seinfeld to off'n fellow cops in LA.

I never understood Seinfeld. Regional thing, I think. I liked his stand-up before he got the show when he went on Carson for years. He's a good guy as far as comedy and likes tradition and not working blue.

The best comedy is black and blue though. Seinfeld's standards are way too high. Throw a grenade in the audience if they don't laugh. Piss on them if they applaud instead of laugh too. Not Ben Franklin up here.
Yeah
01-07-2012, 11:56 AM
Day turns into night and night back into day all the while my computer stays on while I hunt and peck with one hand sweating bullets. Anybody else?

Megadeth - Sweating Bullets - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOnKCcjP8Qs&ob=av2e)


Dino, I have the same problem sometimes. I get surfing for porn and next thing I know its time to go to work. Makes for a long day.
onmyknees
01-07-2012, 04:44 PM
I never understood Seinfeld. Regional thing, I think. I liked his stand-up before he got the show when he went on Carson for years. He's a good guy as far as comedy and likes tradition and not working blue.

The best comedy is black and blue though. Seinfeld's standards are way too high. Throw a grenade in the audience if they don't laugh. Piss on them if they applaud instead of laugh too. Not Ben Franklin up here.


LMAO....I think Kramer tried that once.....remember ?
RallyCola
01-07-2012, 05:24 PM
seinfeld was ok as a sitcom but i hate his live acts.

by far, the best thing when you can't sleep, and don't want to jack off...watch a jim jefferies special and LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF.
95racer
01-07-2012, 06:33 PM
If the all-nighters are becoming more regular could be a 'problem' developing.
Dino Velvet
01-07-2012, 09:21 PM
LMAO....I think Kramer tried that once.....remember ?

I had the same act as a bouncer. More success than Richards. I should have been his Comedy Coach or, at least, his Head of Security.
Willie Escalade
01-08-2012, 06:15 AM
Like I said...I like to keep good shit on my iPhone in case the opportunity rises (pun not intended)...:ignore:
Dino Velvet
01-08-2012, 06:30 AM
Like I said...I like to keep good shit on my iPhone in case the opportunity rises (pun not intended)...:ignore:

You show that stuff to the kids when they get on at 3 O'Clock? No wonder why they're so unruly. Puberty. Confusion. They join here next.